The Dark Side of the World
by ilmiopassato
Summary: COMPLETE. Sequel. Colonel Natalie Cooper has spent over a decade fighting Earth's extraterrestrial enemies, both at home and abroad. But a mission to the small Outer Colony planet of Puget turns her world completely upside down...and shows her that not only the aliens should be feared.
1. Intro: Bad Blood

Author's Note: Welcome everybody to Book Number 7! Whew. It's been a wild ride so far and it's about to get wilder, haha. Hope you enjoy!

Before I start, **big thanks** to all my readers and reviewers, old and new. Your support keeps this dream alive. I appreciate all of you. :)

And now boring, but necessary, disclaimers:

1) I DO NOT OWN Halo, the franchise/the books/the games/other media. I'm just writing a story based off this universe. And, like with the previous installments in the series, times/dates/settings may be slightly AU. This is especially true with this story as it's set a couple years ahead of the current canon timeline, and Halo 5's not out yet. :P If you're a canon stickler, please be patient. I'll get this as lined up as possible going forward, promise.

2) Also like its predecessors, this story is rated T but tends to toe the line with M for language, violence, blood, gore, and some suggestive/sexual content (not graphic). You have been warned.

3) While it is not strictly necessary to read the other Cooper stories to understand this one, it is **highly** recommended. The fics in this series have built off one another and you'll miss a lot of the character development/story progression if you choose to start here. If you're not sure what order the stories go in, I have them numbered in chronological order on my profile page.

And with that, here we go!

* * *

 **Intro: Bad Blood**

WARNING! TOP SECRET! EYES ONLY!

SCANNING IN PROGRESS…

…CLEARANCE GRANTED

/TO: Colonel Natalie M. Cooper, Commanding Officer 52nd Combat Regiment, 1st Marine Division, UNSC Marine Corps

FROM: Major General Aiden Bolowsky, Commander of Planetary Ground Forces, Desmond, Regent State, Mars. Charter Territory, UNSC Marine Corps

SUBJECT: FILE ENCRYPTED

MESSAGE:

Colonel Cooper,

I bet you thought the human rebel threat in the Outer Colonies had died down a bit while we dealt with the Prometheans and Storm on Earth two years ago. If that's the case, we were wrong. If anything, the neo-Insurrectionist movement has grown even stronger in that time, and they've kept their organization growing as we were back on the home planet trying to save it - again.

Things have gotten particularly out of hand on the Outer Colony world of Puget. It's a small, cold rock that most people miss on the galactic maps, but it's got a surprisingly strong presence of rebels there. They know the planet's very easy to overlook, and they've made use of that. We think they're constructing some of their mass supplies from here: a big shipyard, a weapons facility, and likely a base. If that's the case, we need the area monitored at the very least - and maybe gone.

After your exploits on Khan and your success there, I couldn't think of a better Marine for the job. You'll let me know if you require anything special for this outing. Don't expect a warm welcome out there.

Semper Fidelis

Major General Aiden Bolowsky, PGF Commander

/END MESSAGE/


	2. Chapter 1: Cheap Shot

**Chapter One: Cheap Shot**

 ** ** ** ** **2201 Hours, October 14, 2560. Near the City of Cordonnes, ** **Planet Puget****. "The Price to Play," Outer Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**********

I'd been in a lot of shitholes in my life, but I had to say Puget took the cake.

It was bitterly cold and windy, and most of the time, it was hard for even our uniforms' systems to keep up with the freezing weather. Whereas before I'd sweat out all I was worth in places like Heath and Requiem, here I was lucky my blood didn't turn to ice right inside my veins. Outside temperatures frequently dropped below negative 110 degrees, and, oddly, sometimes it still snowed. It was a hell of a first operation back after spending two years at home - first while I was pregnant with my youngest son, Logan, and then at War College to make full colonel. I'd only just officially gotten my promotion five months ago, so it'd been a difficult switch from a life of newborns and classrooms to... _this_.

And we'd only just arrived here last week.

Fleetingly, I wished - not for the first time - that my best friend Oliver Hayden were here with me, so we could at least commiserate on the planet's awful climate. But he'd been dead for over two years now, and so this time, I had to trudge forward without him. Alone.

But not entirely so.

"I bet you wish you were back home with your baby now, huh?" my XO, Major Dani Brewer, said as she stood beside me.

I chuckled. "God, yes. This is not my idea of a vacation."

"Join the Corps, see the Colonies, kill some baddies...and freeze to death."

"Sounds about right."

It wasn't all bad, though. After War College was over I'd been given a choice of where I wanted our family to be stationed next - we'd been on Earth far over the norm by then, and the human home world was no longer in need of help with reconstruction efforts, or extra forces at the time. I was told I could move my regiment wherever I wanted to go, so long as there was a need for that many Marines at a post.

My own home planet of Mars - and Willis's - was of course my top pick, and I was rather astounded when I actually got it. So for the past few months my family and I had been living back home - our _real_ home - for the first time in years, and we'd finally been showing our kids more of the Red Planet their parents hailed from than we'd been able to in the past. We weren't even that far from Emerald Pines or Willis's parents, which helped a lot for when we needed a babysitter. The transfer had been a great advantage to finally making O-6 I hadn't been expecting.

Yet of course after only a few short months back on Mars, I'd been called away again. It was the nature of the business, but something I found increasingly difficult to do after long stints at home with my husband and kids. I missed them all the time, terribly.

Duty called, though, and so did that inexplicable something inside me, in my blood, that said this was where I really belonged.

As I stood over the side of the holotable in the command tent - positioned on an icy ridge that overlooked the desolate city of Cordonnes - I placed a hand on my helmet, which rested on the edge. I was waiting for the chance to pull it on again, and I finally got it, just ten minutes later.

"Colonel Cooper? It's Lieutenant Lloyd, ma'am. I think we might've found something."

Major Brewer perked up at the sound of her husband's voice over the command channel, and so I gave her a slight nod to let her go ahead and address him. It'd been hours since we'd last heard from him.

"Lieutenant, it's Brewer," she said. "What do you have?"

"Tracks in the snow, ma'am," Lloyd answered, ever the professional. "They're heading in the opposite direction than the others we've found - away from the city. I think it could be that group of Innies we've been looking for."

"Any idea about their numbers?" I cut in.

"No, ma'am. Snow's too fluffed up. But it's got to be a small unit since they were able to get past our checkpoints. A large group would have been spotted and detained."

"All right. So we go after them, see what they're up to," I said, folding my arms across my chest as I frowned at the holomap of the area in front of us. "It's not going to be anything good if they're traveling at night."

"With all due respect, Colonel, if you want them followed, we're going to need a bigger team," the spook said. "It's just me and Sergeant Ohpam out here right now."

"I'll get a patrol gathered up and ready in five, Lieutenant. Standby."

I cut the COM then as I made preparations. Picking up my helmet in my hands for the first time in days, I turned to my XO and said, "Major, you've got the tent. I'm going to grab a platoon from Harris and go check this out."

Brewer frowned. "Are you sure, ma'am? Respectfully, you won't know what you're going to find out there. It's probably dangerous."

I couldn't help the small grin that spread across my face while I took a few steps forward to grab my battle rifle, propped against the command tent's outer shell. I slung it behind my back and answered, "Likely. But some things never change, Dani. I'll be back when we know more."

"Yes, ma'am," Brewer replied.

As I exited into the bitter cold of the night, I frowned slightly, growing more determined. I knew the major was just worried about my safety, as an XO and as a friend, but this was something I needed to do. I wanted to find out where those rebels had gone myself.

* * *

Trudging out in the ice and snow - and in pitch black to boot - was not my idea of a good time. But with our night vision on and our rifles raised for any signs of trouble, security detail surrounding me, somehow I felt at ease. As much as I missed my family right now, I'd missed this the past couple of years, too - a _real_ op. No more training scenarios, no more tactical puzzles to figure out. Just the true thing.

The biting wind was taking a lot out of my nostalgia for this stuff, though. If it weren't for my helmet I was sure my eyes would be watering, then freezing open on my face. It was _cold_.

"Colonel, look up ahead, ma'am," Staff Sergeant Lynch said to me then, pointing forward with the business end of his SAW. "I see the spook's marker."

ONI had come up with an easy system to let friendlies know where their operatives were hiding in case they needed help when they were out alone in the field. This time Cal had gone off with a partner, Sergeant Nuri Ohpam, but often he worked by himself, collecting intelligence on his own to bring back to us - especially here, where the locals got touchy about large groups of Marines patrolling the area. Clandestine ops were our best bet for now, but this had been something I'd had to make a judgment call about, and I deemed the temporary upset from the locals - if they found us - was worth the information we might get. The marker was something that was visible only to UNSC systems, and not anyone else who might be around.

I followed the direction of Lynch's gaze and nodded inside my helmet, seeing it, too. "Okay. Let's move ahead, Staff. Cautious though."

The seasoned staff sergeant gestured to my detail to move forward, and they did so, as did the remainder of Harris's platoon behind us. All the caution in the world wouldn't have prepared us for what we finally came upon, however.

Lying facedown in the ice was Sergeant Ohpam, just ahead. There were no signs of blood anywhere. I rushed to his side the moment Lynch did, and helped the staff sergeant turn him over.

"What the fuck?" Lynch said, seeing Ohpam's eyes were open, but he was very clearly dead.

"He froze that way," I said quietly, still looking his body over for wounds. "But what the hell killed him?" A trickle of dread went through me as well. "And where's the lieutenant?"

My aide did a more thorough look-over of the corpse and found it. "Ma'am, I think I know what he died from," he said to me. "Look here. You couldn't see it because of his gear, but he's got a deep red mark around his throat. He was suffocated from behind."

 _Great,_ I thought. So that's why there'd been no blood. I released a sigh.

"I guess we know we're on the right track," I commented softly. Opening a COM channel to the Marines behind us, I said, "Marines, I need a squad up to my position, now. We just found Sergeant Ohpam dead. Keep an eye out for trouble and stay with the body for now. We're moving up to look for the spook."

Acknowledgment lights winked green in my helmet as I took one last look at the dead Marine, feeling sorry he'd had to die like that. But really, when you were a soldier, there weren't many happy ways to reach the afterlife. I tried my best to push it from my mind for now and continue on. We still needed to find Lieutenant Lloyd.

"Staff, you stick with me," I ordered Lynch, and he nodded. "I want the rest of the team to fan out. The lieutenant shouldn't be too far from here." _Especially if they got caught unawares,_ I thought. Again the feeling of dread filled me, both for my good friend and his wife. I swallowed hard and hoped he was okay. I didn't want to have to tell my XO we'd found her husband dead on patrol, but it seemed I might have to.

If we were moving cautiously before, we were even slower and more vigilant now, aware that time was of the essence if Lloyd had been hurt, but also not wanting the same fate to befall the rest of the team while we came to his rescue. The cold seeped into every part of me as we walked, filling my nostrils and my lungs and my hands and feet, and everywhere else at once, even through my uniform's heating systems. Without the specialized clothing we'd've all dropped dead by now ourselves, without any help from the enemy. But what felt even colder than that was the well in my chest if something had happened to my buddy.

"Staff? Anything yet?" I asked after we'd been searching the immediate area for several minutes.

"No, ma'am," he responded. "But we'll keep trying."

I frowned. Given what had occurred here, I didn't want to keep Harris's platoon exposed by Ohpam's body too much longer. We either needed to move out or retreat, perhaps returning again at first light. _But by then, it might be too late for Cal,_ I thought.

Finally I caught some movement out of the corner of my eye and heard a muffled groan. My heart instantly leapt into my throat and without really thinking, I started to run in the direction of the sound.

"Colonel!" Lynch called out over the COM, sprinting after me. "It's not safe!"

I hardly listened. I searched the icy ground in the dim green lighting from my night vision until I saw him, lying supine in a blanket of white. Snow flurries had already half-buried him, making him harder to spot. I was glad we got to him when we did.

Dropping to my knees beside him, I shouted, "Lloyd! Can you hear me? Hey, are you awake?"

This time the blood was clear to see. It had bubbled up by his shoulder and chest, drenching his uniform jacket above his torso armor, and was currently oozing out into the snow. I immediately started stripping off his armor plate and hurriedly tossed it to the side, pressing my hands against the wound to stem the blood flow. He wasn't moving.

"Hey! _Hey!_ " I yelled more forcefully this time, trying to get him to make a sound again - anything to indicate he was still alive. "Lloyd, don't you fucking die on me right now. Just _don't_. You have Alexis and Dani to live for, and I need you to tell me who did this."

His eyes rolled open slowly as he coughed out blood. I heard him wheeze, struggling to speak, and then he choked out, "C-Colonel. They're...coming."

"What?" I stared down at him, puzzled. I noticed for the first time then that Staff Sergeant Lynch had just crouched down beside me, and I was surrounded by my security detail now.

But just that quick, things changed.

" _Ahhgh!_ "

Before I could even take in what was happening, one by one figures in gray, white, and black camo pattern sprung up behind each Marine that made up my team, killing them loudly - not softly anymore - with shotgun blasts to the back, chest, and head. They were so quick that by the time I dropped my rifle in the snow and reached for my sidearm instead - faster to do than trying to aim down my rifle's sights at close range - Lynch had been blasted, too, and was lying bleeding and moaning at my feet.

There was a second's pause as I stood there, stunned, with my pistol half-raised at what looked to be six broad-shouldered men. They grinned at me darkly, and then they grabbed.

I shot one square in the gut as he tried to rush me, bringing him down fast, but that only invigorated the others. My pistol was knocked to the ground as the next one delivered a devastating hit to my wrist while I focused on his friend, making me cry out in pain and surprise. Meanwhile, a second rebel - coming up behind me - stepped to the side swiftly and punched me in the face. I staggered back, nearly landing in the snow, when a third tried to jump me. I ducked him just in time and brought my elbow down hard on the back of his head, making him groan and fall. While he was down yet another came up behind me and grabbed me in chokehold, while the more mobile of the other two attempted to take a hold of me by the boots. I kicked at them savagely and managed to get one in the face, knocking him back as he held onto his blood-spurting nose, cursing, but I couldn't shake the other one loose. Not yet.

By now my heart was hammering hard in my chest and panic was starting to rise, knowing I was outnumbered, but I tried to fight the feeling - just as I tried to fight the men who were trying to take me captive. I struggled for as long as I could but with my oxygen intake depleting by the second, I was losing focus and strength. After kicking one of them down another just took his place, grabbing my other foot, and I knew the fight was likely lost.

I gave it one more shot by finally bearing down and biting the arm of the Insurrectionist who had me by the neck. He howled and momentarily loosened his grip, and I used that to kick at the other two while they were all startled by his shout. With that I fell hard onto the ground, quickly rolling off my back and getting on all fours to try to get away. I'd scrambled all of two feet before I felt the sickening _thunk_ of something hitting the back of my head, the vibration rattling my skull, even inside my helmet. Without it, it would've been lights out for me for sure.

With it I was doing little better, still conscious but weak from being choked and battered. I nearly opened a COM to the rest of the Marines when I realized the hit had shut down the electronics. I was on my own.

Once I was up I managed to punch the next opponent in the face, pushing him back, but by then the others had recovered. I was grabbed by four of them this time - one for each limb, for good measure. A fifth came up behind me and tugged off my helmet viciously, then punched the side of my head.

The hit was so hard I cried out again, suddenly seeing stars, and I felt the blood pooling at my lips. I made the briefest attempts at a final struggle, blindly. But one more hit after that, I was done.

This time, when the world went dark, I thought it might be for good.


	3. Chapter 2: Serenity

**Chapter Two: Serenity**

 **One Month Earlier. 0545 Hours, September 8, 2560. Cooper-Hawk Residence, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Bright New Dawn," Inner Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**

There were worse ways to start off a day than standing outside on the balcony of our new home, drinking a hot mug of freshly brewed coffee alone as I watched the sun come up. The bright star was smaller in the sky here than it had been on Earth, and even now that we'd been here for about four months, it still took some getting used to. We'd lived on humanity's homeworld for seven years after the Human-Covenant War's end, and so we'd become accustomed to how a lot of things worked there. It'd been strange at first coming back home to Mars and seeing the tinier sun, the planet's two moons rising in the dark sky at night, and feeling the lower temperatures. But it'd been nice, too; everything I remembered about home was still mostly the same, and that was comforting.

With four kids now - ten-year-old Gabriel, six-year-old twins Olivia and Liam, and our newest son, sixteen-month-old Logan - I didn't get a lot of moments like this. Especially not during War College when we'd still been back on Earth. There, I'd often reached out to my old classmate, Major Justin Delaney, to complain about how hard it was trying to go to school and take care of my then three-month-old infant - plus Gabe and the twins. It had been a wild and crazy ride for most of that year, and hectic as hell, but thankfully I'd had Willis by my side to help me out. I'd been very grateful that his air wing hadn't been called away on a mission, or I would've been in deep trouble trying to handle it all on my own at home.

Somehow, though, we'd made it through, the kids growing up well and a ton during that time, and my promotion making it possible for us to return home to our Red Planet. Now when Willis and I needed a break, we had his parents close by, and that had been a godsend for us as a couple, too. Between War College and a new baby, we'd spent much of the past year focusing almost entirely on other things, to the detriment of our marriage. Now, since the move, we'd finally gotten some time for each other again.

The thought had barely passed my mind when I found myself suddenly enveloped in my husband's arms. He squeezed me lightly from behind and kissed my cheek in greeting. I turned my head and kissed him back.

"Morning, Coop," he said.

"Morning."

He checked his watch with his arms still around me. "Were you going to wake me up? It's almost oh-six-hundred. I have to be on base soon."

"No, you don't. And neither do I. It's Saturday."

"Oh." He furrowed his brows. "Then why are you up so early?"

I shrugged. "Probably same reason you are. Force of habit." Then I grinned. "And you know at least one of the kids will be up soon anyway."

Willis chuckled, too. "No doubt about that. I'm glad Logan sleeps the whole night now. Before we never got any rest."

"Yeah. Try putting 'no sleep' and 'War College' together, and we'll see what kind of battle plans you come up with," I said. "I swear, some days I was half _dreaming_ my tactics."

"And yet you made it through."

I smiled. "I did." I turned around then to face him, slipping my arms around his middle. "But I couldn't have done it without you, Will. I love you."

"I love you, too."

We kissed as the sun came up fully over the horizon, not minding the beaming orange rays that hit us; in that moment, we saw only each other. I felt blessed that after all we'd been through over the years, we were not only finally all together as a family, but also finally home, and at peace. It was more than I could have asked for.

So of course, the tranquility didn't last long.

* * *

I still marveled at how big the kitchen was as I walked down the steps from the second floor a half-hour later. But given that we were now a family of six, we needed the space. The twins were getting older and would soon want their own rooms, although they currently still shared one, and then there was one for Gabriel, and another - closest to Willis and I - for Logan, all upstairs. We had a fifth bedroom there as well, ready for whenever Liam and Olivia decided they wanted to split up, which was now used as a guest room for when Matt came to visit. That was actually pretty frequently, and fun for the kids. They loved having such a young uncle to play with, and I knew he got a kick out them, too...albeit in small doses.

He wasn't here now though, and that was a good thing, allowing Willis and I some private time alone whenever we actually managed to get everyone to bed at night. Logan was the fussiest, but he was getting better about that as he grew.

And the kid was growing by leaps and bounds now - he was already close to a year and a half old. Almost too quickly, as soon, he wouldn't be a baby anymore. I was going to miss having a little pink bundle in my arms, as strange as that sounded. I fully expected this to be the last child Willis and I would have, so I tried to soak it all in every day - the good and the bad.

"Okay, Logan," I said to my small son as I held him close. "What do you want for breakfast today? Cereal?"

"'Ereal!"

I grinned. "Good choice."

We made it down the stairs, where Willis was already cooking up breakfast for the rest of us. It smelled so good I wanted to devour it now, but the baby came first, so I set Logan up in his seat to get his food.

"Where's Gabe and the twins?" I asked my husband as I passed him on the way to the cupboard.

"Still sleeping, for now," he answered. "But I bet the smell will bring them down soon."

"It's sure making _me_ hungry."

Willis smiled. "Me, too."

I grabbed the cereal and laid some out in a plastic bowl for Logan to chow down on in his chair. I sat next to him as he did, making sure he was eating enough and not just playing with the lightly sugared squares - which he often liked to do. As he ate I stroked a few tufts of his hair - his father's golden brown - and sipped at my second cup of coffee, awaiting the food.

"I smell _bacooooooooon_!" Liam suddenly shouted, rushing down the stairs. Behind him was his twin sister, running just as excitedly towards the appetizing scent. I nearly laughed at their behavior, but that would have set a poor precedent. I didn't want them to think sprinting through the house screaming was okay, so I gave them both a stern look instead as they made it into the room. Then I noticed the look on little Logan's face.

His hazel eyes were wide and his bottom lip trembled. _Uh-oh._

I'd seen this many times before with my other kids, so I acted fast. I got Logan out of the chair and in my arms just in time for the wailing sobs to begin. I rubbed his back and kissed the side of his head as he cried.

"Hey, it's okay. Did your big brother scare you? I know, he was very loud, but he's sorry." I gave my middle son a pointed look. "Aren't you?"

"No," he replied, taking a seat on the other side of the table.

"Liam Jeffrey," Willis said sternly from the stove. "Apologize, please."

Our son gave his father a frown. "Why? I just got excited."

"We know, baby, but you were a little too wild and you scared Logan," I said.

"Sorry."

I went to his side and bent to hug him with my free arm. "Thank you. Remember to try to keep it down around your brother. He's still small."

"Okay."

Logan's cries diminished fast as I managed to get his attention with his food again, his moment of being startled already forgotten. Eventually he let me give him some milk to drink from his cup and he sat again, quiet and content. _Crisis_ _averted_ , I thought.

Just as Gabriel came bounding down the stairs.

"I smelled Dad's making bacon!" he yelled.

That started the crying all over again.

* * *

After breakfast with a free day, we got the kids ready and took them out to the park. There was one only a few blocks away from our house, which was also close to the base. Willis walked beside me with Logan in his arms, while I held our daughter's hand on the trek over. Liam and Gabe were up ahead, occasionally trying to race each other down the street. I smiled. The two boys had grown close as Liam had gotten older, and I was glad to see they remained good friends as well as brothers.

I turned to Willis, who I know was watching them, too, and said, "See? That's exactly what I loved about growing up with all my brothers and sisters. Me and Jenna were like that, and me and Mark. Then once my brother Travis and little sister Allison were born, we all drove my mom crazy. It was fun."

Willis chuckled and shook his head. "Me and Jamie just fought a lot when we were younger. And it was a while before Matt was born. By then we were a little older and did a good job at keeping an eye on him as a kid." He glanced down for a moment. "Not good enough, I guess, once the Covenant hit, but we're lucky to have gotten him back now."

"Yeah. I missed him, too."

Olivia's head perked up at the sound of her uncle's name. "Mommy? Is Uncle Matt coming to visit?"

"I don't know, sweetie," I replied. "He might." I ran my hand over her hair, long and rich brown like mine. She had my green eyes, too. It was like looking in a mirror at a kid version of myself - although she was her father's daughter as well, endlessly talking about anything with wings attached to it. I smiled as I picked her up and hugged her close, my one ally against the sea of boys in the family. "And I'm sure when he does, he'll spoil you rotten."

I set her back down as she giggled, looking up ahead just in time to see Gabriel and Liam round the corner. I glanced at Willis and he nodded, moving fast to catch up with them and make sure they didn't get themselves into trouble.

Once at the park our two oldest boys ran off with their sister, the three of them racing each other across the open, grassy field. That left my husband and I alone on the bench with little Logan.

He had his pacifier in his mouth, sucking on it gently from time to time, but that didn't stop him from trying to speak now. He reached out with his chubby hand in the direction of his siblings. "Gwass."

Willis and I both smiled.

"Very good, Logan. That's grass," Willis said, holding him upright against his chest so he could look out at the park. "You're learning quick, little buddy, aren't you?"

Logan looked at me after that, and then glanced back at the field. I got the message he was trying to convey but couldn't quite find the words for yet, and I quickly stood as Willis handed him over to me.

"You want to go be by your brothers and sister, huh?" I asked as I held him close. "Okay. We'll go."

I set my youngest son down on the grass when we made it there, holding out my hands for him to hold onto as he walked. He was a little wobbly still, but doing better all the time. I'd missed this with Gabriel, having been gone most of his first year of life as the War had raged across the Colonies, and so I'd relished these moments with the twins when they were smaller - and now with Logan. He'd just taken his first steps as I'd been finishing up War College, and it'd been an exciting milestone to achieve just before I'd gotten my promotion - almost like a double reward for finally being done.

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or sad that Logan would be my last kid. I certainly didn't want to go through yet another pregnancy again, or childbirth, or those first few sleepless months where everything blurred together because you were only getting an hour or two of sleep each night. As special as all these experiences had been the first few times, by now I'd had enough of those. But moments like these always made me think I'd miss it once Logan was older.

For now though, I was content knowing that another baby wasn't a possibility. Rather than going back to taking birth control pills once Logan was a few weeks old, I'd opted to go for more long-term contraceptive shots instead - taken once every twelve months, I was guaranteed no children for a year. It made things easier for when I was gone on field work, and not having to remember a pill each day was nice. I'd just taken my second dose four months ago around Logan's first birthday, so now I was in the clear for another eight months. It was a good thing to not have to worry about.

Especially when I felt we had the perfect number of kids already. I'd always wanted to give our own children the same experience Willis and I had had growing up in families of three and five siblings, respectively. And I think they had that now.

As if on cue, a sweaty-haired Gabriel came running up to us then, beaming wide at his baby brother. He got down on his knees and gave him a hug, and my heart swelled.

"Come on, Logan! Come play!"

Logan's answering grin took up his whole face and made me laugh.


	4. Chapter 3: A Rocky Start

**Chapter Three: A Rocky Start**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**

I woke up groggy in my seat, head pounding against my skull. Slowly I remembered where I was, what had happened, and the panic and fear started to bubble up. But I quickly pushed both aside; neither of those were going to help me get through this. If anything, the feelings made it all worse, so I tried my best to shut them down and think.

I reached out with an arm only to find it wouldn't go where I wanted it to. Neither would my feet. Both were tied solidly to the hard chair I was in, my hands behind my back, my boots trussed up firmly to each leg of the chair. So moving wasn't an option. Next I tried to speak, but I found there was tape over my mouth. That was out, too.

Glancing down at myself, I saw that all my weapons and gear were gone, right down to my web belt and canteen. That meant no knives and no guns - not that I'd expected them to leave me armed. Even my helmet and gloves were gone, along with the extra ammo I kept in the pants pockets of my fatigues. Someone had already searched me thoroughly while I'd been knocked out.

The thought made me more than a little uneasy, but there wasn't anything I could do about it now. I was still fully dressed in my battledress uniform and it seemed only my equipment had been taken, so I took comfort in the fact that nothing else had occurred.

Looking around, the real thing that bothered me most right now was that I didn't see anyone else in the room. I knew it was highly unlikely that any of my security detail had survived, but I figured there'd been a sliver of a chance for Staff Sergeant Lynch at least...and maybe Cal. I found it odd that they hadn't been captured along with me, and the only reason I could think they hadn't was if they were dead.

That made a harsh sob well up inside me, but again I had to muscle it out. If I broke now before we even began, it wasn't going to do me any favors in trying to survive.

"So you're finally awake. That's good."

The voice startled me, coming out of a dark corner somewhere behind me. I strained to turn and look, but being tied to the chair only got me so far. Until the speaker came into view, I wasn't going to be able to identify him. But I knew it was a man.

I wanted to reply but my mouth was taped shut, so I sat there, waiting.

"What? Nothing to say? Maybe I should fix that."

Finally I saw him, and I was surprised by how young he looked. He seemed to be about my age, maybe mid-thirties - and certainly not a day over forty. The fact that he was rougishly handsome somehow made it worse.

In the past I'd been beaten by a guy with good looks and the attitude to match. I'd even come close to falling in love with him, misguided as I was in my late teens. I guess that made me suspicious of too-perfect faces now.

He stood in front of me staring for a while before he bent down to my level, just a few feet away. His dark blue eyes met my green ones as he spoke. "You're probably wondering a lot of things right now, aren't you? Where you are, how you got here, if your men survived...what we want."

In one swift motion he ripped the tape off my mouth, and I winced.

"There. That's better. So...we're at a crossroads now, Colonel. You want information, and I want information. A little quid pro quo, right? That's all this needs to be if you're cooperative. An _exchange_."

I snorted, then coughed to clear my throat before speaking. My voice was gravelly from being knocked around in the fight earlier. "It's never that simple."

"Oh, but it can be. Let's start with the basics, shall we? What are you doing on this planet?"

I deliberately misinterpreted the question and smirked. "I was ordered to come here. So I went."

His fist was swift, and my jaw was hurting and ears ringing before I even knew what had happened. Some of my dried blood from earlier was on his hand now, I noticed. The rest still decorated my chin and the collar of my T-shirt, underneath my fatigue jacket.

"Would you like to try that again?" he asked innocuously.

"No," I replied.

He lifted his fist a second time but didn't go for the blow. Yet. "What is _the UNSC_ doing on this planet?"

"That's our own damn business," I ground out.

Again the hit was blindingly fast. This time my head spun with it, as if I needed more cause to be disoriented. But the thought made me smile - if he kept going like this, I wouldn't remember a damn thing he wanted to know anyway.

That put him on edge. "What's so fucking funny?"

"I was just...thinking. You're trying to beat info out of me, but the more you do it, the more...out of it I get. Seems like a...bad way to go about it, don't you think? Keep it up and I won't have anything to tell you."

He ignored me and went on. "Actually, it _is_ our business. You know why? Because it's _our planet_. So I'm going to ask again, what - "

I heard a door open from somewhere off to the side and someone else came in. It was a woman this time, dressed in those snow-camo fatigues the six men who'd captured me had worn - not the all brown-and-black ensemble this idiot was done up in. She spared a glance at me and then at him before approaching.

"Has she said anything yet?"

"No. I'm trying, but she's - "

The woman gave him a look that stopped him mid-sentence. "Really? She's a full bird colonel, wise-ass, and she's only been _conscious_ for all of five minutes. You think she would have already revealed everything to you?" She shook her head. "Try _harder_. And I don't mean with your fist. Put that away for now. It's a little early for that yet."

As quick as she entered the room she was gone. At least that saved me some pain, for the moment, but I didn't know what else she or her lackeys might have in mind going forward. And I wasn't exactly itching to find out.

The man stood there seething for a minute, running a hair through his bushy, dirty-blond hair, then looked back at me. He got up real close this time - so close I could smell his none-too-appealing scent of sweat and cigarettes.

"Do you have another question you'd like to ask?" I said, unnerved by his proximity, but trying not to let it show.

He grinned, revealing surprisingly white teeth. "As a matter of fact, I do. But I'm sure you won't answer it."

"Well. You must've been the neon crayon in the box."

He chuckled, but not with much humor. "I've been told I have a sharp mind when I want to use it. Not often, but sometimes." He walked around me this time, once, then gripped both sides of the chair I was in, leaning in even closer now. "What's a full bird colonel doing outside the lines on patrol?"

It took me a moment to respond, but when I did, I made sure not to let my voice falter. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

 _I_ wasn't hit this time, but the chair sure was. He moved fluidly to one side and smashed it with his boot, sending me crashing to the ground on the right. Still tied to the chair, there was nothing I could do but go down with it - and I growled low in my throat at the impact. It'd hurt worse than being punched in the face, that was for sure.

"Daria said to leave you be. But I don't think that's the answer, and she's no longer here," he said, crouching over me now. Before I could say anything or react, he grabbed a hold of my face in one hand, forcing me to look at him. "You know, I don't have to hit you to get a real response from you," he spat. "Oh, no. There's other ways we can do business here. Other ways for us to manage this _exchange_." Then he grinned darkly at me. "And you know what, you're not at all bad-looking for a jarhead. Pretty, even."

I jerked my chin away fast, insofar as I could given my position. "Get. Your hands. Off me."

At that he laughed and stood. "All right. I will. For now. But what happens after an hour, or two hours, or _three_ hours go by with your non-answers, I can't promise I'll be as much of a gentleman."

He moved in to put my chair upright again, with me still in it. Then he picked the tape up off the floor and replaced it over my mouth. "I think that's all I wanted to say to you for now. I'll be back a little later for more. I'm hoping things get _real_ interesting with you."

When he left I let out a long sigh of relief through my nose. I hadn't noticed in the moment, but I was sweating now, even though it was cold in the room. I knew that I couldn't stall with him for very long once he came back - and if I were alone in here, there was no reason to. What I needed to do, as soon as I possibly could, was very clear.

I needed to escape.


	5. Chapter 4: Jolt of Reality

**Chapter Four: Jolt of Reality**

 **One Month Earlier. 1903 Hours, September 10, 2560. Cooper-Hawk Residence, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Message," Inner Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**

I woke up suddenly on the sofa with a weight on me, realizing only a few moments later that it was my baby boy. He was on my stomach, also fast asleep, his head and little arms curled up under my neck. I smiled to myself when I saw him and ran my hand over his hair, then gently down his back, closing my eyes again. I was close to drifting back asleep myself when I heard Willis's voice next to us.

"You're awake. Finally. Thought the two of you were down for the night already."

When I turned to face him I saw he was sitting on the loveseat off to the side, reading through something on his datapad. I noticed he'd propped up pillows on the side of the couch in case Logan rolled over in his sleep and he wasn't able to get to him in time. I wanted to sit up now that I was awake, but stayed where I was and tried not to move, so as not to disturb our son.

"Almost," I mumbled in response.

Willis was smiling, too. "It's kind of cute how you both conked out the minute you got home from your office earlier. Like mother like son, right there."

"Hey, I was tired," I protested softly, mindful of Logan still catching zees on my uniform. Apparently I hadn't even bothered to change out of it when I got in earlier in the evening. "We had a long day with the regiment today. I don't know what _his_ excuse is, though." I glanced down pointedly at our youngest.

My husband chuckled. "I think it _might_ have something to do with the fact that he's not even a year and a half old yet, honey."

"Maybe. Or maybe that's just what he wants you to believe."

"Uh-huh. Sure."

Carefully I looked down to check my watch, trying not to move Logan too much in the process. "It's after nineteen-hundred. Shouldn't you be picking the rest of the gang up soon? Or do you want me to go?"

"I'll get 'em," Willis replied, finally putting his datapad away and getting up. "Looks like Logan's made a crib out of you."

Before he moved away, I grabbed his wrist, pulling him down for a quick kiss. He then paused to kiss the top of Logan's head, too, before straightening again.

"What were you reading just now?" I asked.

"Just some reports from the air wing. We're down two pilots from that training accident last week." He frowned. "I'm not sure what happened, but I'm going to find out, and make sure it doesn't again."

"You said they were both minor injuries. I'm sure it was just a mishap. They'll be fine."

He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking as exhausted as I felt. "I know. But I just want to make sure. I'm trying to be a good leader, Coop."

"I know you are. And for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job."

Willis smiled faintly before leaving the room. I was left lying there with our sleeping son still on my stomach, so I reached over to grab my own datapad from the coffee table in front of me since I was mostly immobile.

I almost wished I hadn't. I had one new message from Major General Bolowsky.

After I finished reading it I felt somewhat numb. I'd known something like this was bound to happen, and soon, given how long it had been since my last deployment. Or Willis's. But I guess knowing something's approaching and it actually being a certainty were two different things. Inexplicably, I almost felt like crying at the news.

Willis noticed my expression when he walked back into the room, and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Cooper? What's wrong?"

I swallowed hard, tried to get the words out, but failed. I placed a hand on Logan's back instead and didn't want to let him go. But I knew that very soon, I'd have to leave him - and Gabe, and Olivia, and Liam, and Willis - all behind.

"Natalie?" Willis asked again, still awaiting a response.

"I just...got a message from Bolowsky," I said, successfully keeping my voice steady. "The 52nd is getting deployed to the Outer Colonies."

It was like a punch in the gut for all of us, my husband included. I saw it on his face. "When?"

"Next week."

Willis blew out a breath. "Jesus. That soon?"

"Yup. We must have a crisis on our hands out there. Again."

" _Fuck._ "

"Willis," I said sternly, looking down at Logan, still fast asleep.

He waved off my concern. "He's not awake." I watched as he ran a frustrated hand over his short, cropped hair, turning in place. "It's this kind of crap that drives me crazy. The moment you get complacent - the _second_ you start to feel like everything's okay and life has finally settled down..."

"It's what we signed up for," I stated simply. But somehow, that didn't seem like enough of an excuse this time. It really did feel like our lives were about to be uprooted by this, and I didn't know why. Still, mostly I just felt resigned. "Listen. We've been lucky till now. We both got to be home with the kids, together, a solid _two_ years. That's practically unheard of now, with all the turmoil going on out there lately. It was only a matter of time."

"I know that," Willis answered, finally looking defeated himself. "I just...shit, Natalie. I just don't want you gone again."

"Me, either. But I have to go."

My husband nodded, finally releasing a sigh. "Me, too. The kids'll be wondering where we are. I'll be back soon."

He didn't come over to kiss me goodbye, or say much of anything else as he gathered up his wallet and keys. Stuffing them into the pocket of his jacket, he shook his head. "It's a good thing they were just at a birthday party. They're in for a real treat when they get home."

* * *

Logan was awake again by the time they made it back. I'd fixed him some dinner in the meantime, so he was happy and content, unaware of the turmoil going on around him. The rest of the kids came rushing in, excited from the party, and I didn't have the heart to ruin their night. It seemed Willis felt the same, because nothing more about the deployment was said until the kids were all put to bed a little later.

We both sat on the couch together now, but Willis seemed to make a point of sitting on the opposite end, away from me. As if this were all my fault.

Massaging my temples, I finally couldn't take the silence anymore and said, "Will. Please say something."

"What's there to say?" he asked softly.

"I don't know, but I don't want to leave like this."

He didn't respond.

A moment later the tears formed in my eyes so fast I couldn't stop them. My youngest son was barely a year old and now I was going to have to leave him, and I didn't know for how long. I was going to have to leave my other boys, too, and my daughter, and the man I loved. It wasn't the first time I'd had to do so, not by a long shot, but now that we were finally all together and home, here on Mars, I realized I'd been living the dream the past few months. It was a harsh and abrupt way for it to end.

As soon as I started crying Willis immediately moved over, pulling me into his arms. "Hey. Natalie, it'll be okay," he soothed, stroking my hair. "I'm sorry. For getting upset earlier...and for now. I didn't mean - I wasn't trying to put this all on you. I know you didn't ask for it, and I know it's not your fault." He kissed my temple. "And I definitely know that this isn't what you want, either. I'm sorry."

On some level I took in his words, but right now it just felt like I needed to get out all that I was feeling. Apparently that was a lot, because I didn't stop crying for several minutes. I'd always hated leaving my family behind, and it'd always hurt, but this time, it just felt...harder.

When I was finished, he tilted my chin up and looked at me. "Hey. We're in this together, all right?"

I nodded, wiping my tears with my sleeve, and settled into his kiss when he leaned in.

"I already called my parents, and they said they'd help me out with the kids while you're gone," he said after he pulled back. "And we can let them know in the morning."

"What about Logan?" I asked, clearing off one last tear on my face. "Poor little guy. He won't even know what's happening. Or why I'm gone."

"I'll tell him," Willis said, now wearing a weak smile. "I'll tell him his mommy went off to save the Colonies again."

I snorted, but the words seemed to do the trick. A ghost of a smile was on my lips now, too.

Maybe my husband was right. Maybe it would all work out, even in my absence.

Or maybe - it wouldn't.


	6. Chapter 5: Cat and Mouse

**Chapter Five: Cat and Mouse**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**

It was a while before I heard someone else enter the room again. I couldn't say how much time exactly had passed, as my watch was taped up with my wrist behind me, but it felt like longer than an hour. I tensed up when I heard the door open, but the footfalls didn't seem as heavy this time. Finally, a woman in boots and fatigues came into view - the one from before. Daria.

In the dim lighting I could see that her hair was cut short like my XO's, but rather than flaming red like hers, Daria's was all black. Her cut was also more masculine, not a neat pixie cut like Brewer's. Her eyes were dark as well, giving her a hard edge all around. Without much preamble or show, she produced a small bottle of water from her pocket and shoved it in my face after pulling my tape off. "Drink."

I flashed a smirk, but it was weary. "I'd love to, but I'm a little encumbered at the moment, as you can see."

Daria huffed, unscrewing the cap and stepping up a bit closer to bring the bottle to my lips. I started drinking faster than I meant to, my throat scratchy and dry from being locked in here for who knew how long without food or water, and my stomach cramped. I ignored it. When Daria pulled the bottle away, I was still thirsty, but didn't complain.

She stood off to the side this time, putting the water back in the cargo pocket of her arctic camo pants and folding her arms across her chest. Then she gave me a questioning look. "You drank without protesting. I'm surprised. Most jarheads would be worried we're trying to poison them."

I wanted to shrug but couldn't, given how I was trussed up. So I just said, "I figured if I don't get any water, I'll be dead soon either way."

She nodded at that. "Smart."

"Where's your buddy? The guy who was in here before? He was supposed to pay me another visit." Not that I wanted him to, obviously, but it was my way of trying to turn the tables and get some info out of them.

Daria gave a sigh and shook her head. "Garrett is - " Then she stopped suddenly, and chuckled. "You're good, Colonel. You almost had me giving him away. Nicely played."

I didn't respond. At least I knew two of their names now - Garrett and Daria - but wasn't sure yet how that was going to help. I could already tell there was at least some resentment and animosity between the two - perhaps jealousy on Garrett's part that he wasn't in charge like Daria - that I could try to exploit to get me out of this bind.

"I suppose I shouldn't be so astonished. I heard you put up quite a fight when we caught you. The men said they had a hard time picking you up." She paused. "You even nearly killed one of them. That shot to the gut hurt him bad."

"Is there a question somewhere in there?" I asked, wondering what her point was.

"We'll get to them. I have several to ask you, actually." She produced something else from her pocket this time. A pill bottle. For a moment I thought she was going to try to drug me, but it became clear that wasn't her intent. She just looked at the bottle and then at me. "These are yours, Colonel. We picked them off you while you were out. 'InnuREM'. What the hell do you take pills for?"

"Not your business."

"Oh, yes, it is very _much_ our business. Because, like your freedom, and like your life, you're going to have to answer our inquiries soon if you want them back." Her eyes darkened. "And I'm sure that you don't want to be suffering from post-traumatic stress _nightmares_ the same time you're living one, here, with us."

My eyes widened involuntarily, then I briefly closed them shut. She knew I took the medicine for my nightmares now. She knew she had leverage, that the longer I went without them, the worse the symptoms would get. I'd been hoping she wouldn't recognize the meds and what they were for, but I was wrong. It seemed Daria was not someone to be underestimated.

But then again, neither was I.

"Why ask me about it if you already knew the answer?" I finally said.

"I just wanted to see if you were ready to be cooperative now. Looks like you aren't. In that case, I'll have to send in Garrett again. You two seemed to be getting along _very_ nicely earlier. I think you've made quite an impression on him."

"Wait."

She looked at me expectantly. "Yes?"

"What do you want to know?" I was trying to stall at this point. I did not want Garrett back in the room with me, and I think Daria knew that. Despite her own personal distaste for him and his methods, she knew that was an easy path to take to break me.

Instead of responding right away, Daria pulled up another chair, sitting exactly across from me, and rested an ankle on top of her other leg. "You know what? I'm going to cut you a break. I'm not as impatient as my...colleague. I've got time, and I know getting you to talk is inevitable. Why don't we do a little warm-up before getting into the harder questions, huh? Would that get you to talk?"

At that I smiled a little. "As long as you're asking me about my name, rank, and service number, shoot."

"How old are you, Colonel?"

The question threw me off, just like I suspected it was meant to. It wasn't anything related to the UNSC or its mission here, and just about one of the last things I expected her to be curious about. "What?"

"Your age," she stated simply.

It wasn't anything that wasn't public knowledge after a quick glance at my CSV, so I answered, "Thirty-three."

She grinned, but again, it was almost dark. "See? Not so hard, is it? You get what you want, and I get what I want." She held out one of my pills for the nightmares so I could see. "I'll even give this to you as a bonus, for answering your first question. But you're going to have to find your own way to take it." She placed it beside one of my boots, very clearly out of my reach given my current position. Then she looked me up and down. "Thirty-three, huh? You must be some kind of hotshot, or a general's daughter or something. You're pretty young for your rank."

"I know how to do my job," I said.

She snorted. "Apparently. Bet getting caught wasn't part of the plan for your next promotion, though." She gestured to my left hand then. "And you're married. I see that gold wedding band on your finger; can't hide that. We found something else of interest inside your helmet, too." She produced a photo from her pocket this time, studying it for a moment, and I growled low in my throat. "Your family, I take it?"

She flipped the image over so I could see it, and my heart nearly broke. It was a picture of Willis, Gabe, Liam, and Olivia, with me holding Logan beside them, all together. It was taken on one of our first days back on Mars since the big move. It'd been a very happy time for our family, and just catching a brief glimpse of the picture made me miss them all like crazy.

Daria just sneered when she saw my pained expression. "Yup. See, this is why I don't believe in things like physical violence to push a prisoner over the edge. Sometimes, just simple _conversation_ \- and a little skill in observation - works just as well. Maybe even better." She glanced at the image again. "I've got to say, you've done well for yourself, Colonel. Cute kids, sexy husband. I bet you have a dream life back home, don't you?" Her face became sinister then. "And the UNSC wonders why us colonials hate them so damn much. You live out your cushy lives back in the Inner Colonies, living richly off _our_ hard work, _our_ toil, _our_ poverty and misery, and then have the nerve to come to _our_ planets with Marines and guns and demand we bow to you even further. Sound about right?"

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the picture of my family in my head, for my sake. "We tried to help during the War. We even came to help after it, to help you rebuild. But you never wanted it, and insisted that we were being underhanded when in reality we were only bringing aid."

At that she laughed, a hearty laughter that filled the room and seemed entirely genuine, even if it wasn't a particularly cheery sound. "Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night? That you're coming here to _spy_ on us and keep us _in line_ for our _own_ sakes? For our own _good_? To _help_ us? How pathetic. You're so far up the UNSC's asshole you don't even see the light, do you? You don't even know."

"Know what?" Not that I cared, but the longer she spoke, the longer I was kept away from Garrett.

"What your government did to us forty-some years ago," she answered. "To nice, quiet little families just like yours. To children, _babies_ , like yours. Or what it meant for many of our people."

I looked at her, confused, but she didn't elaborate. Not now, at least. At that she stood abruptly from her chair, and shoved my family picture back in her pocket.

"I think I'll be keeping this for now. Can't look at it much without free hands, anyway. When you want your family back - and your meds, and your _life_ \- you let me know. Give us the information we want, and I'm sure we can come up with a fair deal for you." She shrugged. "Till then, you're good to keep for ransom. If Garrett doesn't have his way with you first."

I grit my teeth at that last part, as if I'd ever allow that to happen. But as Daria was leaving, I called out, "I answered your question earlier. Now you answer one for me. What happened to my men?"

Her eyes twinkled. "And why would I tell you that, when you're so much more cooperative when you're left in the dark?"

"You'd better. _Now_."

She laughed again. "I'm not one of your brainless followers, Colonel. You don't have the authority to order me around. Quite the opposite in this situation, actually. But don't worry, you'll have some time to let out all that aggression later. My commander's coming to visit soon."

That was yet another thing she'd said so far that threw me for a loop, and the words were out before I could stop them. "I thought you were in charge," I said.

This time, Daria just grinned. "Oh, no, pretty one. It ain't me. But I won't spoil the ending for you. You'll just have to wait and see."

And with that, she left the room again.

I sat there fuming for a moment longer, thinking about my family and Lynch and Cal, and what might've happened to them. I also wondered who the hell was really in charge here. Who I might soon meet.

My most immediate concern, however, was getting to that damn pill she'd left behind. I noticed Daria had been _kind_ enough not to tape my mouth shut again, encouraging me in a not-so-subtle way to see how I could puzzle this one out.

 _At least I have something to occupy my time with now,_ I thought with a sigh. _Time to get to work._


	7. Chapter 6: Talk of the Future

**Chapter Six: Talk of the Future**

 **One Month Earlier. 0211 Hours, September 15, 2560. Cooper-Hawk Residence, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Plan," Inner Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**

When we were finished I gripped his shoulders and leaned up to kiss the side of his neck, then his lips. Willis kissed me back with equal fervor, still trembling. A second later he rolled over to lay beside me, breathing heavy as our bodies glistened with sweat. He didn't say anything for a time but pulled me close, closing his eyes as he buried his face in my hair.

"I wish you didn't have to go," he whispered in my ear.

"Me, too," I replied softly, still a little breathless myself. Again I felt the ache at knowing that in a few days, I was going to miss this. I wouldn't be able to cuddle up with my husband anymore, in my own bed and in my own home. I'd be on a ship for a couple weeks, then on some foreign planet in the Outer Colonies, alone with my unit. Not an exciting prospect, but one I had to follow, nonetheless. It was the nature of our jobs, and something we'd been doing for many years now.

The silence that followed wasn't an uncomfortable one, but rather _too_ comfortable. I was getting drowsy and close to drifting off when Willis spoke again.

"Natalie, I've been thinking."

"Mmm?" I mumbled, mostly not awake.

"Now that we're finally back home on Mars with the kids, and things have been pretty quiet around here the past two years...do you ever think about being done with this?"

That immediately brought me back to some sort of state of consciousness. "Done with what?"

"The Marines."

I stiffened in his grasp, and he must've felt it, because he spoke faster.

"Before you say anything, hear me out. I feel like we've done and sacrificed more than enough over the years. And certainly we've lost a lot, too. We're finally all together as a family here on Mars. Maybe it's...time to start thinking about separating from the service."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. As much as the past few months in our new home had meant to me, I wasn't sure how I would feel if more moments like this - if a whole lifetime of this - were to come about because one or both of us left the Corps. I loved being home with my family more than anything, and being able to have this time with them was precious. But I also loved my job, my Marines, my men. It was something I knew how to do well and had done all my adult life. I didn't know anything else, and I was sure some part of me was going to feel empty if I ever left.

To give Willis some perspective, I turned to face him now with a small smirk, running my hands up his chest. "Yeah? You think you're ready to give up flying?"

"Well - " he began, but quickly backtracked and sighed. "No. Not really, I guess."

"All right, then. It's the same for me, you know. I just spent ten months studying and training hard to make full colonel." I snorted. "And God knows there's still many things out there that are more than capable of threatening the peace, even at a moment's notice. Look what happened two years ago with the Prometheans and Storm."

I hadn't forgotten my mission to Requiem to fight the Prometheans there - or their subsequent attack on Earth along with the ex-Covenant at the time. Returning to humanity's homeworld knowing I'd been responsible for the aliens' and AI-bots' arrival had been tough to bear, and more so once I'd seen the devastation in cities like Charleston and Savannah. But I'd also felt good knowing that I'd helped bring about the second invasion's end, before it spread past a relatively small region encompassing only a few states in the US. Many people were lost, but many more had been saved, and I liked to think the balance ended up the right way in the end, even if I'd been unable to save everyone.

"I get it," my husband responded. "But I was just thinking today...we've been in the Marines for thirteen years now, Coop. You know, in two more, we _could_ retire."

We'd been just a couple of twenty-year-old kids fresh out of the Naval Academy when we got commissioned, and the War had been raging. Thanks to that, military veterans post-war had been granted rights to retire from the service after fifteen years instead of the usual twenty, given the length and bloody nature of the Human-Covenant conflict. Many more died before reaping the rewards of such a policy than those left alive to take up the offer. Willis and I had both served for six years on the frontlines during the War, minus the period I'd been pregnant with Gabe, and so the two of us easily qualified for a full retirement in a couple years. For some reason, though, I'd never even thought of it.

In two years Willis and I would both be thirty-five. It seemed very young for retirement, but then again, he was right - we'd done and seen enough in those years to keep Earth and her Colonies safe. Maybe it was time for someone else to take up the mantle - and the duty, and the hardship, and the sacrifice. I'd seen so many family members, friends, fellow Marines and servicemen, and even civilians, die over the last decade and a half of service that I wasn't sure how much more I could take going forward. I'd suffered numerous injuries over the years in just about every part of my body, and my PTSD and nightmares from all those campaigns were only barely contained now thanks to my meds. Realistically, it wouldn't be too much longer before I was _forced_ to retire, given the harsh physical and mental demands of being in this job for so long.

And of course, all of it had come at the cost, in some ways, of our family. Like it or not, admit it or not, our own personal needs had always come second to the needs of the Corps. That had meant many years away from home - not always consecutive, especially post-war, but certainly enough that we'd missed key parts of all our kids' lives.

And now, with this most recent deployment, I was set to do that once again to my oldest son and the twins - and to Logan, too, for the first time.

It was definitely something to think long and hard about.

Finally I settled deeper into Willis's embrace, closing my eyes as I felt the warmth emanating from his bare body around me. "Why don't we see where this takes us for a little longer," I said. "I don't know about you, but I'm not quite ready to leave this life just yet. Especially now that I finally made O-6, and you've only been commanding the 87th for a couple years. I think there's still some good work to be done that we should be present for." I placed a hand on his cheek and brought my lips to his again. "And either way, none of this is going to stop me from leaving in a few days. So we have time to talk some more about it when I get back."

He kissed me in return, involuntarily - or maybe very deliberately - deepening the kiss. "I know, Cooper. That sounds like a plan."

Maybe someday soon I'd feel ready - safe enough, exhausted enough - to finally retire from the Corps and let someone else lift the heavy weight off my shoulders. But that day wasn't today just yet. And given that we only had two years to go to retire with benefits, I figured we'd just wait it out and see.

In the meantime, I had this special moment with my husband just days before I redeployed. I was the one to pull him close this time, stopping all attempts at conversation the best way I knew how with him.


	8. Chapter 7: Familiar Faces

**Chapter Seven: Familiar Faces**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies. Prologue to the Dark Side of the World**

A long time had passed now, though I was never quite sure how long. Definitely longer than hours - probably more like days. I hadn't seen Garrett again, or Daria, but I had noticed another rebel, young, come in twice to bring food and water. Now that my mouth was no longer taped shut he'd come in and leave a tray on my lap, along with a drink, and the rest was up to me to figure out with my hands and feet still bound to the chair. He never said a word, so I hadn't spoken to anyone in something like three days. That was the best I could estimate.

Besides the aches and pains where I'd been hit and grabbed at during the attack, most of my muscles were starting to hurt bad from sitting in the same position for so long. I was used to doing much, much more physical activity than this, moving around at a near-constant pace while in combat, or while I performed other duties, and this was hell on my honed body.

My head was probably the worst off, though. It throbbed incessantly and since I got little to no sleep each day - or night, who knew - it was even harder to tolerate. I never got a break from the steady pounding and pressure, and I often wondered if I had a concussion. Since I wasn't dizzy and hadn't thrown up yet, I guessed likely not, but it still hurt like crazy all the time.

I wasn't sure whether to be glad I hadn't seen the two rebels I knew of or not. Certainly neither were great company to have, but being this isolated, this alone, for so long had its own cons. I had a lot of time to think - too much - and my one pill for the nightmares I'd had since getting captured wasn't doing me much good.

Most of the time in the dim lighting and my half-asleep, half-awake state, I'd remember things. Horrible things, awful events I'd witnessed over the years, like the mother who shot herself beside her dead son's body in Cote D'Azur, or my best friend Dean getting ripped up by shrapnel from an exploding tank on the Tsavo Highway, or even when I'd been stabbed in the gut by a plasma blade in Ecuador, ending my second child's life. Then there'd been Hayden getting shot to death by the Storm in the rain on Khan, and many, many other hideous circumstances my mind decided to dredge up all at once. It was like a never-ending loop of tragedy and despair - and I was starting to think that maybe, in a lot of ways, being alone in my head was worse than being in a room with someone who hated you with every fiber of their being, and wanted you dead.

Maybe that's why I'd been left here by myself for so long.

So when someone did finally come in - and I knew it wasn't just a meal, given the ruckus - I was startled to the point that I nearly jumped in my seat. I turned my head to see who was coming in and why they were making so much noise, but then overhead lights I hadn't even known were there suddenly all lit up at once, and I was momentarily blinded.

It'd always been closer to dark than light in the room. Now, with so many bright lights shining on me, it took longer than usual for my eyes to adjust.

When they did, relief flooded through me. Sitting beside me now, also tied to a chair, was a bloody and bandaged Lieutenant Caleb Lloyd. He looked very much alive, and a lot more alert than when I'd seen him last. Obviously they'd patched him up after the fight.

"Cal," I said in surprise, and I felt tears starting to form in my eyes. "You're okay."

He snorted, still weak from his injuries. "I wouldn't say that, ma'am, but I am alive."

In the harsh lighting I was able to get a good look at him. His short, dark brown hair was matted to his head, not looking as clean-cut as it normally was, and his vibrant blue eyes had dimmed - but whether that was from pain, or what they might've done to him in captivity, I didn't know. I was just glad to see him breathing.

 _Poor Dani,_ I thought, and my heart caught in my throat. _She must be going crazy wondering where Caleb is, or if he's even alive. And I left her the whole damn regiment to look after, too._ If I ever got out of here, I'd have a lot of apologizing to do.

But that was the least of my worries at the moment.

"Do you know anything about Lynch?" I asked him, but that was cut short when I received a shocking blow to my shin. I doubled over immediately and groaned, almost sure my leg had been broken. It hurt that badly.

"This isn't social hour, jarheads. You keep your mouths shut when you're around each other, or they'll get taped shut _again_. And good luck ingesting any food or water like that."

The voice was familiar, and soon we saw him appear before us. It was Garrett.

Despite the warning, Caleb couldn't resist firing back, "I'm not a jarhead, stupid. I'm Navy."

His punishment was as swift as mine had been for speaking. Fresh blood trickled from the corner of my buddy's mouth when Garrett pulled back.

I grit my teeth. We had to get out of here.

And when we did, Garrett might just have one less heartbeat.

"Today's going to be a special day, boys and girls," Garrett said, looking unreasonably smug. "Our big boss has come for a visit, to see the colonel and the spook we captured out in the wild. He's got fun plans for both of you, so don't either of you start feeling left out if he takes one away for his enjoyment." He looked pointedly at me and stepped a little closer. "Not you, though, Colonel. You're for _me_."

I wanted to smack his idiotic expression right off his face...but thankfully, and surprisingly, someone else did first.

"Enough! That is no way to treat someone of her rank, let alone a lovely young woman." The newcomer grabbed Garrett by the chin in one hand after he'd hit him, and made sure his lackey was staring him in the eyes when he spoke. "You do not go near her in that way. Ever. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, boss," Garrett mumbled.

"Good. If you do, I will put a bullet in your head myself. We are not animals here. We are only searching for information." He turned to me next, and a smile enveloped his face. Then he gave me a slight bow. "Colonel Cooper. We meet again. Far from your home, as always - and this time, far from mine, as well."

I hadn't recognized him in his new get-up and haircut, but now I did and my eyes went a little wide. It was Javier Laraza, the rebel leader/town mayor I'd tried my best to work with on Khan, minus his facial hair. He was just about the last person I'd expected to find out here, so far from his own planet.

"Mayor Laraza," I said, reciprocating the mention of the title, and he threw his head back and laughed.

"It's _general_ now, Cooper, but thank you. It seems we have both moved up in the world since we last saw one another. I hear you are a full colonel now. Congratulations."

At that I snorted. "If this is the party you set up to honor my promotion, sir, I've got to say, it's not exactly the Ritz."

His answering guffaw echoed in the room. "Ah, but Colonel, you are the life of any party. That was good." He very quickly sobered. "But although I regret the circumstances, I do have an enterprise to run. So you see, capturing you and your spook prove _very_ useful to me. I hope we might be able to make it worth your while if you cooperate."

"Hey, can't fault you for trying, I guess."

"But you won't give anything up, will you?"

"Not a damn thing, sir."

He grinned. "Very good. Then perhaps I can leave you in my subordinates' hands, and they will get it out. Nice seeing you, Colonel. I am sure we will be interacting again soon."

Laraza made to exit the room then, but gave Garrett a slight nod of his head as he did. I wasn't sure what that meant until the Innie stepped forward and grabbed a hold of Caleb's short hair and scalp. The lieutenant winced, but otherwise said nothing.

"I think you'll be my first victim today, since things didn't work out with me and the colonel," Garrett sneered. He moved behind Lloyd and produced a large combat knife, easily slicing through the duct tape on the spook's ankles and wrists. "Stand up."

Cal did so, but I figured it was probably many days since he'd gotten up out of the chair, just like me. He was wobbly and weak at first and began to slump back down, but Garrett caught him and straightened him up.

"There. Good." He gave him a hard shove. "Now _walk_."

I wondered in the moment if this wasn't our chance to get the upper hand, with Laraza gone and only Garrett in the room. But I was still tied up, and Caleb was too weak to put up much of a fight, given the seriousness of his wounds. He was only just starting to heal up with however they'd fixed him, so even having him unbound wasn't much of an advantage. I noticed they hadn't unbound me yet, but I wondered at how my own body would react to sudden movement after so many days of being sedentary. Maybe I wouldn't be strong enough, either, even though I wasn't nearly as bad off.

Then I saw Garrett bring out his gun and shove it against Lloyd's back. More incentive to do as he said, and not try anything funny.

They went into a separate room after that, and I felt sick with worry for my friend. He was already not looking so hot from that hit to the chest he'd taken when we'd been caught. I wondered what more beatings would do to him. The only saving grace I could see was that they wouldn't want to kill him just yet. Like me, he was too valuable, and a veritable wealth of information. They wouldn't want to rid themselves of someone like that right off the bat.

But, as I was starting to very rapidly learn, there were some things even worse than death.

* * *

When they returned a long while later, Caleb was sent stumbling back into the room, bleeding from a fresh cut on his forehead, sporting a black eye, and looking mostly disoriented. Garrett had to guide him back to his seat, and as he bound him up again, I sat staring in shock that the people I'd been fighting to save all these years - humans, fellow people, from all across the Colonies - could do things that horrific to one another. I even started to wonder if the aliens hadn't been right to try to wipe us out.

"What the fuck did you do?" I finally asked, not worried about the fallout from my speech. My friend was hurt, badly, and didn't look to be with it anymore. " _Why_ are you doing this?"

Garrett shrugged as he trussed him up. "Daria said she told you why. We want information. And we want you UNSC asshats out of our business and off our planet. And make sure you never take our children from us again."

" _Children_? What the hell does that - "

He chuckled. "Daria believes you genuinely don't know. Me? I think you're a fucking actress, and a terrible one at that. You're a colonel. You had to have known. You might not've been born yet when it happened - neither was I - but you sure as hell should've found out by now, and why you still wear that disgusting uniform after that is beyond me." He looked over at me once Lloyd was secured in his chair. "But that's between you and the man upstairs, I guess."

"Yeah? And what about what you're doing to the lieutenant, then, huh? And to me?"

Again he laughed. "Oh, I haven't done much to you just yet. But Laraza's given me some ideas, since I had to...shelve my other thought."

He came around behind me then and I tensed up. Fear gripped my insides, and this time, after spending days reliving atrocities in my head - atrocities inflicted by the Covenant, not people - I thought of the worst and couldn't stop. As soon as my bindings had been cut, I rose up as fast as I could, trying to take advantage of the fact that it was just me against him this time, and not five other men, but he anticipated the move and brought the handle of the knife down on my head with a sickening _crack_. Between that and not having gotten up for a while, plus my other injuries, I was down for the count...until he pulled me up from underneath my arms.

"I told you not to feel too left out if we took the spook away," Garrett said, his amused voice at my ear. "Now it's _your_ turn."


	9. Chapter 8: Tough Break

**Chapter Eight: Tough Break**

 **Present Day. 1633 Hours, October 20, 2560. UNSC Chariot Naval Air Base, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Fog," Inner Colonies.** **Day One of the Dark Side of the World**

Willis put his hands on his hips and sighed. The briefing had gone relatively well, he thought. Finally the two pilots injured in the training accident were doing better and had returned to flight ready status. All in all, the news had been encouraging, and his new XO, Captain Connor Adrian, was solid. He smiled to himself then, briefly. "New" was a relative term. Adrian had been the XO for two years now, as long as Willis had been in charge. Sometimes, though, it all still felt kind of new to him. There were things he was continuing to learn about being in command, even now. It made him admire Cooper even more, for just how much she'd had to learn over the years to get to where she was today. Leading this many pilots was no picnic.

"Anything else, sir?" Adrian asked, helping the major clean up after the air wing's squadron commanders had all filed out.

Major Hawk shook his head. "Nope. I think that's it. Thanks, Connor."

"No problem, sir."

Waiting out in the hall, Captain Heat made his way inside as soon as the XO was gone. He wore a smirk on his face.

"All hard work and no play, huh? Are we done for the day now or what?"

"Sure. Nothing else on the agenda, so I don't see why we can't leave a little early."

The captain's grin widened. "Awesome. So we're going out to get a couple beers tonight, right?"

Willis looked up from his datapad. "Did I agree to this before and not remember or something?"

"Nah. You're agreeing to it now. Come on, buddy. Gotta relax sometime."

He shook his head. "I'd like to, man, I really would, but with Natalie gone it's hard to find the time. I need to get back to my kids before my parents go nuts."

Heat held up his hands. "I'm just sayin', you're thirty-three now, bud. You don't _have_ to tell your mom and dad that you left the office early."

Willis snorted. "Yeah, but I think they'll figure that out on their own when I come home _drunk_."

"Who said anything about drunk? Maybe just a little buzzed." Brandon laughed, then grasped his best friend's shoulder. "Come on. It'll do you some good. I know it."

Major Hawk was about to reply when their commander, Colonel Finnegan, unexpectedly walked into the room. Both pilots came to immediate attention, but the colonel waved them away.

"At ease," he said, then gave Captain Heat a look. "Captain. I need to speak with the major for a moment. Privately."

Brandon took the hint and made himself scarce. Willis frowned, instantly wondering what this was about.

"Sir? What's - "

"I'm sorry to say this, Hawk, but it's about your wife."

The words stopped him cold. Dread worked its way up to his chest through his gut, and he waited, holding his breath.

Finnegan sighed. "Colonel Cooper is fine, as far as we know. She's alive, I mean. But we've just gotten word that she's likely been captured by the Insurrectionists."

It took a moment for the news to sink in. Natalie hadn't been killed in action, nor was she gravely wounded...but in some ways, this was even worse. And not at all something Hawk had been expecting. He knew Cooper would never allow herself to be taken. So how had -

"How did it happen?" he asked.

"We're fuzzy on the details right now. Not a whole lot of information has made its way back here. We know her entire security detail was attacked and killed, and she and one of her spooks have gone missing. No sign of their bodies, so they're both presumed to be in enemy hands right now."

Willis opened his mouth to speak, but the colonel stopped him.

"Rest assured that ONI is looking into this, and it's an urgent priority for them to get them back. They're trying to narrow down possible containment locations as we speak."

"Possible containment locations..." Hawk repeated, still not quite believing what he was hearing. That human rebels had taken his wife hostage. "You're saying my wife is a prisoner of war."

"Well...yes. I'm sorry, Major. Like I said, we're doing all we can to find them."

The major licked his lips, not knowing what else to say. Colonel Finnegan filled in the silence.

"Obviously the brass will stay on top of this, and I'll let you know of anything we learn going forward. Right now we're going on what her XO, Major Brewer, has reported so far." He paused. "The ONI operative that's missing is her husband, so she's got more than enough incentive to keep on it herself."

Willis nodded. "I know. I've met them both. _Shit._ "

He ran a hand down his face. He felt angry, hurt, afraid for Cooper and what they might be doing to her. But more than anything else he felt utterly helpless. His wife was in trouble far away, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it but wait.

Finnegan reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "Again, Major, I'm very sorry to give you this news. But you know," he continued, looking right at him, "I've heard about the type of commander your wife is. Maybe if she hadn't kept running things herself out in the field, as if she were still a captain or a lieutenant, she would have stayed safe. Rank makes you a target. Lesson learned here, I think."

At the moment Willis didn't care that this man was his superior officer. His blood absolutely boiled at the statement, and he turned on him. "Are you suggesting this is somehow _her_ fault?"

Finnegan backtracked. "Well, I was only pointing out - "

"Natalie is damn good leader, _sir_. She cares for her men and the mission, _sir_. It is not her fault that there are crazy fucking people in the Outer Colonies that want her _dead_ , _sir_."

The colonel's expression hardened as well. "Watch your tone with me, Major. I can still write you up, even given the circumstances."

"Write up whatever the hell you want," Hawk said hotly. "This is not her goddamn fault. And you better hope she comes home alive and safe, because if you expect to get away with talking about her like that at her _funeral_ , like you did Collins, I can't be held responsible for what I might do. _Sir_."

Willis walked away then, his heart pounding in fear for his wife and adrenaline from the exchange. Yeah, what he'd just done was definitely bad, and could even be construed as threatening a superior. It hadn't been his intention.

But he'd just learned Natalie was missing, and almost certainly trapped in enemy hands. And that prick who'd always hated on the late Major Collins for doing her job exceptionally well in the field, while he manned a desk, was now trying to do the same thing with Cooper. And Willis wasn't having any of that. Especially not now.

As soon as he left the room, he caught up with Captain Heat in the corridor, waiting for him.

"Hey, man," Brandon said, looking him over. "What did Finny say?"

"The rebels have Natalie," Willis choked out, then he swallowed. "And he tried to say it was because of her."

Heat screwed up his face. "What?"

"Exactly," he replied. "Come on. Let's go. I'm one step away from getting reprimanded for insubordination...and maybe some other stuff, too."

"So...am I taking you to your house?"

Hawk shook his head. "No. I can't go home like this, and especially not to the kids. I don't even know what the hell to say to them yet." He sighed as he glanced down at his boots. "I think I'm ready for that drink now."

* * *

When Willis awoke the next morning, he found that he wasn't in his and Cooper's bed. He'd fallen asleep on the couch in the living room sometime the night before, and now he was getting up with a massive, pounding headache and his stomach was churning. It'd been a while, but he instantly recognized the symptoms. He was hungover.

He laid back down against the cushions almost as soon as he tried to get up, but the sound of his youngest son's crying forced him to alertness. He was on his second attempt to sit up when a hand gently pushed him back down.

"It's okay, William. I'll get him."

The major glanced up, cracking an eye open. "Mom?"

She smiled faintly. "I knew when you got in last night that you were in no condition to take care of yourself, let alone the kids. I was astonished that you'd come home like that to your children, but then Brandon filled me in on why." Her eyes momentarily clouded with unshed tears. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I hope they find her soon."

The memory of what he'd been told yesterday came to him in a rush, surpassing even the pain in his skull right now. He winced at both, then said, "Me, too."

His mother nodded and straightened. "There's some coffee and aspirin for you in the kitchen. I'll take care of Logan for now, but you've got the other three. Your father's working today."

Willis blinked a few times as he finally stood, then checked his watch. "What about getting to base? I was supposed to be there three hours ago."

"A Captain Adrian called for you earlier this morning. I hope you don't mind I answered it. He said you'd been approved for a few days off, under emergency leave."

Hawk nodded slowly. That was decent news, at least. He took in a deep breath and let it out as he stood there, still getting his bearings. "Okay."

"Once you have your coffee you should go get cleaned up, son. You look like hell."

Willis snorted but didn't say anything. He felt that way, too.

"The others are still asleep, so you have some time."

It didn't enter his mind for a long time why Gabe and the twins were still asleep this late on a weekday, until he realized they'd probably let them stay home from school after they'd heard the news. He still didn't know what to say to any of them once they woke up. He shambled into the kitchen and sat at the table, downing the painkillers and some coffee all in one swig. Natalie was missing, and he was too hungover to do anything about it. Not that he could, anyway.

He only drank a few more sips before he figured he'd better go grab a shower before the kids were up. He went into his and Cooper's bedroom and shut the door, stripping off his uniform - still on from the previous night - and climbed into their shower in the master bathroom.

The combination of the coffee, aspirin, and hot water did a lot to clear his muddled mind. When he got out he felt a bit better, but knew he'd still have to come up with something to tell the kids. As he dressed in a simple UNSC-MC T-shirt and a pair of socks and sweats, he decided there and then that he wouldn't say a word to the younger three just yet. But Gabriel was ten now, and would soon notice that something was up. Him, he had to talk to.

Willis shuffled back into the kitchen after getting dressed and rubbing a towel over his short wet hair to dry it. Sitting at the table now beside his coffee cup was his oldest son, looking bleary-eyed into his bowl of cereal. Gabe looked up at the noise and lifted his chin to his father.

"Hey, Dad."

Hawk bent down a little as he passed to kiss the top of his son's head. "Hey, bud."

"What's wrong?"

Under other circumstances, Willis would have smirked. Gabriel was sharp, just like his mother, and already he'd noticed that not all was well with his dad.

"Why do you think something's wrong?" he asked, and Gabe was quick to answer that, too.

He shrugged and shoveled in another spoonful of cereal and milk. "Grandma's still here, and you got home late yesterday. She said we weren't allowed to wait up for you." He looked pointedly at his dad as Willis resumed drinking his coffee next to him. "Did something happen with Mom?"

"Who told you that?"

"No one, I just - "

Willis released a sigh. He'd chosen not to leave Gabriel in the dark about this, and so now he had to stick to it. "Something did happen to your mother yesterday, kiddo. I'm just not really sure what yet."

Their oldest son's green eyes widened. "Is she hurt?"

"I don't know," Hawk answered honestly. "What we do know is she's alive, but she's in a very dangerous place right now."

At least they thought she was alive. By now her true status was uncertain until ONI found where they were keeping her and Lloyd. But Willis didn't want their son to worry even more, so he omitted that part.

He leaned in to squeeze Gabe's shoulders. "I'm not telling your brothers or sister, okay? This is just between us for now, and your grandparents. They're too little to know about this yet."

Gabriel nodded gravely, his lower lip trembling. "Okay." Then he glanced up, tears in his eyes. "Is Mom going to be okay?"

"I hope so, son. I hope so."

"What are you going to do?"

Gabe looked at him expectantly, and Willis's gut dropped. Of course his son would expect him to do something - anything - when his mother was in danger. To stop it, to find her. Willis racked his brain for a minute, trying to come up with a way to explain to Gabe why there was nothing he could do...and he realized that there was.

He jumped to his feet almost instantly, racing back over to the sofa to pick up his datapad from the floor. He must have knocked it over in his sleep after his mother had taken the call. Then he strode back into the kitchen and stood beside Gabe, punching in the numbers and waiting as the tone sounded.

"Dad? What are you doing?" Gabriel asked again.

"I'm calling your uncle Mark," Willis finally answered.


	10. Chapter 9: Shock and Awe

**Chapter Nine: Shock and Awe**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies.**

My best friend Oliver Hayden always used to say how bad the Innies could be. How they could be twisted people willing to manipulate your natural trust in other human beings to get the jump on you, and kill you and your Marines before you even knew what was happening. We'd been at war with the Covenant for close to thirty years - almost my whole lifetime - and even after that, fighting aliens, and later the Prometheans, had never really stopped. The enemy was always someone else - but Hayden had known that wasn't quite the case, and me, in my naiveté, hadn't wanted to believe that.

For me it was the Covenant that were always the real threat. Even during the fighting on Khan I'd tried to broker peace between ourselves and the local population, and even with the rebels. I'd always been unwilling to attack them, even after I'd been shot through the back and shoulder with large-caliber rounds in an attempt to assassinate me. An attempt that had almost succeeded. We were all people, I'd thought then. How could we not coexist and come together to fight another species that wanted us gone?

But I was wrong. People could be a threat, too. And now I felt I truly understood that.

Before he dipped my head in the big water drum again, Garrett smirked at me and said, "How about it, Colonel? Still thirsty?"

I shook my head, my whole upper body nearly all soaked through now, including my battledress jacket and T-shirt underneath. I couldn't possibly stomach anymore liquid, and my lungs were on fire from holding my breath for so long repeatedly. Sometimes I wasn't able to hold my breath, and then I choked on the stuff, rushing into my lungs, and that sucked worse.

Laraza came into the room then, looking appreciatively at Garrett's work. "So? I see the water aerobics are going well. Is it time to start the questions?"

"Maybe," Garrett responded. "Ask her."

"Cooper? Are you ready to talk yet?"

I shook my head again and was immediately submerged. I hadn't been expecting it and I took a deep breath too late, once I was already underwater. I panicked when I couldn't breathe but they wouldn't let me up, and my lungs hurt, and my body desperately needed oxygen. At the last minute, just before I thought I'd pass out, I was brought back out, and I coughed and spluttered for the longest time before I felt like I was taking in any air at all.

"Shall we try something else, perhaps?" Laraza asked then, and he turned to look at me. "I remember something from meeting you in the recent past, Colonel. If there's one thing you very much enjoy, it's a good scotch."

I tried to laugh but my lungs were watery and it sounded strange. "Joke's on you there, sir. I stopped drinking over two years ago. Haven't had a drop of alcohol since. So if you were looking for more 'life of the party'...it's not me anymore."

His eyes twinkled in delight, and I got the sense I should've kept my trap shut. "You don't say? Well, how about I reacquaint you with your former favorite drink, then?"

This time I didn't have the heart to respond. I just sat back against the chair Garrett had propped me up in with my head back, eyes shut tight as I tried to breathe, dripping wet from my hair to my belt.

When I'd been called to deploy again just a month ago, I'd been prepared to face a lot of things - more wounds, more death, more heartache. I'd dealt with them all before, a lot. And yet this was far from what I ever thought it would be like.

"Well?" Laraza pressed.

I coughed again and opened my eyes, making a point to stare him down. "Go for it."

The rebel leader made a sound, but didn't move yet to make good on his promise. Instead he waved Garrett off and waited for him to depart the room. Then he folded his arms across his chest and sighed.

"I will give you a break first. I fear if we try it now you will die," he stated plainly. "You test my patience, Colonel, and you waste my time."

A small smirk formed on face despite it all. "You could always let me go, Laraza. That would solve all your problems right there."

This time he was not amused. "I could, but that would leave me with just one, _larger_ problem. You. And I know from our time on Khan together that you are not an easy one to contain."

"You know what's funny? You're so hung up on wanting me to leave when _I_ don't even want to be here," I finally said. "You have a beef with me and my Marines, who're only doing their jobs, and following orders. Just like me. So if you want to bring this up with someone, do it with the actual government. _Legally_. _Civilly_." I snorted. "Shit, we fought a whole long war against damn aliens, and all you stupid fucking rebels can do is constantly bash other _people_ and make their lives miserable. We gave you that privilege, Laraza. Don't you forget."

"You did nothing!" he shouted then, finally getting angry. "And you _know_ nothing, girl. You were not yet alive when the UNSC's true enemy was _us_. Colonials, wanting nothing more than to be left alone on our own planets, far from yours. We did not deserve the things that happened to us simply because we wished for independence."

"People keep saying that. What was it that the government did to you that was so bad? Besides do everything we could to pull your ass out of the fire when the Covenant shit hit?"

He finally calmed down a bit and smoothed a hand over his hair. He paced for a moment, and then responded, "Daria said you were not aware, but I did not believe her. You have heard of the SPARTAN-II program, yes?"

"Everybody has. They're war heroes. Could've used even just one of them in one of my campaigns. Would've made things a whole hell of a lot easier on my Marines."

He was the one who smirked this time. "Oh, but they have been, from what I have heard. However, they tend to work in the shadows. You might not have seen one yet, but they were there, I assure you."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Yeah? How do you know? All that information was classified by the UNSC until a few years ago."

"We _know_. Because they are _our_ sons and daughters."

I glanced up at him, puzzled. "How?"

For the first time, Laraza looked smug. "You have children if I remember correctly, yes?"

I didn't answer, but that didn't stop him from going on.

"Imagine your boy or girl is born a healthy, exceptional child. You nurture them, love them, teach them - like any good parent would - for six years. Then, one day, they go missing. An accident happens. They are sent to the hospital. You are called home from work to be by their side, or you go looking for them if they're suddenly gone."

I frowned. "What are you - "

"I am not finished," he said, holding up a hand. Then he continued, "When you arrive by your child's bedside, or finally find them unharmed after a day or two of searching, they appear fine. They are not physically hurt. They may seem quiet for a time, but you tell yourself that is because of the ordeal they have just undergone. Nothing has happened. They are okay."

He walked up to me then, so our faces were nearly touching. "You would be wrong."

When he moved away again, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being bated. "Why tell me this, Laraza? What's the point?"

"Because after a few days, you begin to notice changes. Your son never laughed that way before. Your daughter never listened to you, and now she is suddenly obedient. She doesn't recognize your family dog, and he doesn't recognize her. She seems... _off_ , somehow. How could that be?"

"I don't know, but I'm done playing games with - "

"And then some more time passes, and your child suddenly gets sick. You return to the hospital to run tests," he went on. "And what do they find? Your healthy boy or girl is suddenly _dying_. Their organs are shutting down, or they've caught some disease you have never even heard of that is incurable, and fatal. They die a painful death as you agonize by their bedside, holding their small hand, telling them it is all right. They die in your arms. And you _grieve_ that death. For years."

His vivid descriptions brought tears to my eyes before I was even aware of the effect his words were having on me. All I could think about was the unborn child I'd lost, and how I'd grieved for him or her for a very long time without even knowing them. Imagining something like that happening to my youngest now - or any of my kids - was utterly heartbreaking, and I nearly burst into uncontrolled sobbing. The only thing that stopped me was his impassioned story, not yet finished.

"In that time, you wonder what happened to poor little Mia, or Sam. Why they had to die. Why they got so sick when they had been so healthy and perfectly well before. Why your marriage is suddenly crumbling under the strain of the hurt, or why your spouse decided to take their own life after they were unable to bear it. Or maybe _you_ have chosen to end _yours_ , because you cannot go on without your child."

I couldn't stop the tears this time. I kept myself from a dramatic outburst, but only barely, and they were rolling silently down my already-wet face. It was a topic that hit too close to home for me, and it was impossible for me to sit here and listen without feeling a bit of my own tragedy as well. Not that I'd ever say that aloud to him.

"So are you going to tell me how it all ends?" I asked, wiping the tears from my eyes with my shoulder, also wet. "That somehow the UNSC is responsible for some kids getting hurt and maybe getting lost, then getting sick a few months down the road?"

Laraza smiled. "Ah, but that is the best part, Cooper. None of this was coincidence. Your government covered it up, but they came to the Outer Colonies forty years ago in search of these very children. They're the ones that took them. They're the ones who ripped them away from their families and replaced them with flash-clones, ones that looked and easily passed for the same boys and girls, but whom their parents could fundamentally tell were _not_. Their personalities were different, and _they_ were different, as only a mother and father can judge. And then, in a matter of months, they were dead."

I still didn't believe his story. Couldn't. "And why would the UNSC do that?"

"Because they needed recruits for their super-soldier program. They needed children who could be brainwashed, trained, and genetically altered at a young age, before their bodies started to change on their own. Your government will likely tell you it was necessary, because of the Covenant threat. That without them, humanity would never have survived the War. About that, they might be right. But do you know what they will not ever say?"

"What?" I asked, if only to humor him.

"That they were originally made to fight _us_."


	11. Chapter 10: Call to Arms

**Chapter Ten: Call to Arms**

 **1307 Hours, October 22, 2560.** **UNSC Chariot Naval Air Base** **, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Discussion," Inner Colonies. Day Three of the Dark Side of the World**

Navy Captain Mark Andrew Cooper looked sharp in his gray-toned battledress uniform as he stepped out onto the tarmac on base, finally back on his homeplanet again. At thirty-seven he'd recently made the same pay grade as his younger sister, much to his chagrin. But on the inside, Willis knew he was very proud of his accomplished sibling. The two had always been close, especially since their older sister Jenna's death, and that hadn't diminished much, even during the War. News that Natalie was now missing - and likely in rebel hands - had hit the older Cooper hard, and he'd come out right away to offer his help when Hawk had called.

Stationed back on Earth as head of some division or other of ONI now - all classified, of course - he'd gotten clearance to make the trip out here to Mars, only several hours away. With his arrival, Willis didn't quite relax, but at least he felt good that something was finally being done to find his wife. By Major Brewer's estimates, Natalie had been gone over a week now. It wasn't a number that made anyone feel very comfortable. Definitely not Hawk.

Meeting him off the transport Pelican in civvies, Willis still came up to Mark and immediately saluted. The Navy captain saluted back, then gripped Hawk's hand tightly as he clapped him once on the back with the other.

"Hey, Willis," Mark said when they stepped apart, forcing a small smile on his face. "How're you holding up?"

"All right. Trying to keep my head above water," the major responded. "It's hard, you know. Not knowing anything." He licked his lips. "Natalie's been gone for a while now, and I just - "

"Don't worry. We'll find her."

Mark said the words with such conviction that all Willis could do was nod.

"My niece and nephews? How are they doing?"

Hawk shook his head. "They don't know yet. I only told Gabe, and he promised to keep quiet about it for now."

"And the little guy, Logan? Haven't seen him since I came to visit you guys a few months after he was born."

That alone brought a smile to Willis's face. "He's grown. A lot. But obviously he doesn't know what's happening out there to his mom right now." He sighed. "I guess none of us do."

"Well, that's what I'm here for, right? You know I haven't been a field agent myself for quite a while, and they won't allow me to take part in the op anyway since it's for family. But I do have many, many resources at my disposal, and a lot of strings I can pull behind the scenes. I've only got a couple days here, but I can get us going, at least."

Willis nodded. "Sounds good, sir."

"First thing I'm going to do is get access to Natalie's XO, Major Brewer's, reports. Let's see if anything she wrote in there - a time stamp, coordinates, a patrol route - can help pinpoint when and where this attack might've taken place. I'll need a couple hours on base to do that."

"And then?"

Mark sighed. "Then I'm going to have to bring my work home with me, and we can tackle it together." He shifted his stance a little. "I tried to get our sister Allison to come with me to help with the kids while we go through stuff, but she was tied up at work, and Travis is out on a mission himself. They both wanted to be here, though, and they're both anxiously awaiting updates."

"Okay. I think I can arrange for us to have a quiet space somewhere. I can call my parents and see if they'll watch the kids while we brainstorm. Or I can have them stay with their grandparents while you're here, if you want."

Natalie's brother shook his head. "No. I don't think this is a good time for the family to split up. They need you, even if they don't know what's going on. And I haven't seen them in close to a year. I'd like for them to be around when we're not talking shop."

"Good. That makes it a whole lot easier, then."

The two shook hands and Mark said, "Thanks for meeting me out here, Willis. I'll see you at your house in an hour or two. Let me see what I can dig up around here first. And tell Gabriel I'll do my best to bring his mom home."

 _That's what we're all counting on,_ Hawk thought to himself.

* * *

In three hours Mark still hadn't shown up. Willis was close to picking up his datapad and sending him a message when it rang of its own accord. The number displayed as Natalie's older sibling.

"Hey, Mark. What's going on?"

"Hey. I've downloaded some of the records I was looking for. Just took longer than I thought. Is now a good time to come by?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay. See you in a few."

He cut the connection then in true spook fashion and left Willis standing there, looking down at his datapad. The kids had just gotten home from school and were eating a snack at the table. Olivia noticed her father's thoughtful expression and asked, "Daddy? Who was that?"

Gabriel looked up at his dad, too, but said nothing.

Willis tried his best to put a smile on his face. "It's your uncle Mark, sweetheart. He just got in today and he's coming for a visit."

"Yay!"

"We have some work stuff to talk about first, though, so your grandma and grandpa are coming over to help with your homework while we're outside." Willis went over and briefly hugged his little girl, then Liam, and ruffled Gabe's hair as he passed. "Hurry and finish your snacks, guys. They'll be here soon." He picked up Logan out of his seat then and started walking towards the living room, when he noticed his oldest son behind him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Is Uncle Mark here to help find Mom?"

Willis released a sigh. "Yeah. Come here."

Gabriel took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms tight around his father's middle, carefully avoiding bumping into his baby brother in Willis's other arm.

Willis patted his back with his free hand and repeated Mark's words to him. "Don't worry, kiddo. We're going to get your mom back safe and sound. Okay?"

All Gabe could do was nod, and then he quickly pulled apart before the twins came crashing into the room. That's when the door chime sounded, and the basic AI announced, "Sylvia and Robert Hawk have arrived. Allow them to enter?"

"Yes," the major responded, and shortly after that found himself sitting alone in the room while his parents took the kids back into the kitchen to do their schoolwork. He could hear the initial chaos, and then it slowly died down as they got to work. He closed his eyes momentarily in the rare quiet and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could already tell that these few days off he had to deal with all this were going to feel way too short.

The house AI soon announced Mark's arrival as well. Only then did Willis feel a sudden surge of energy again. Hopefully, his brother-in-law had come with some good leads.

* * *

Several minutes later, Mark and Willis were both outside on the deck overlooking the large, grassy yard. Hawk found it much easier to think out here than inside for some reason. Maybe it was the seclusion and ambient nature sounds their backyard provided. Or maybe it was the beers he and Mark were each slowly nursing. Not enough to get impaired, but just enough to relax and focus.

They were both looking at Mark's datapad now, the screen automatically going black whenever the second-oldest Cooper tried to access files Hawk wasn't privy to. Some of these he left shuttered out, and others he overrode using his ONI passcode so Willis could see.

"I'm not sure if you were told this already, but Natalie's on Puget," Mark said. "Looks like from what Major Brewer reported, they decided to set up shop near the city of Cordonnes, in the southern hemisphere. Very cold temperatures to go along with the strong rebel presence there." The spook released a sigh. "The hard part is that much of the local population is involved in the movement, but it can be tough at first glance to know exactly who. It's a historically volatile area, so Brewer said they'd gotten started right away with checkpoints and sending their ONI operative, Lieutenant Lloyd, out on scouting missions and intelligence gathering. Brewer said they hadn't found anything significant yet - the big shipyards or weapons facilities, for example - but they were already hunting a few leads. Lloyd was sent out earlier in the day he and Natalie were captured to keep an eye on a particular group of Innies who'd been suspected of causing trouble in the area for their Marine patrols.

"Last thing Brewer said she heard was her husband calling in to say he may have found a trace of them, and to send over an extra team." He rubbed a hand over his short brown hair, the same rich color as Natalie's. Both had the green eyes to match, too. "Apparently Natalie decided to go with them, against protocol."

It was Willis's turn to sigh deep this time. "That's her all right. Just once I wish she'd try to keep herself safe and out of harm's way." But he knew that just wasn't like his wife. It was something he'd had to bear for many years now.

Mark nodded. "I've tried to tell her the same, but you know how she is. She's got that stubborn streak about her." He smiled faintly, but it was gone again in a flash. "But that might just be what keeps her alive now."

"So...what? You think those rebels Lloyd was following ambushed the new team?"

"Possibly. The extra platoon Natalie sent out with her all reported back to central command within the hour, saying they'd heard several gunshots in quick succession, but had been too far off to get there in time. When they arrived on scene, Natalie's entire security detail was lying dead in the snow with huge holes in them. Killed by shotgun blasts close-range." Again he had to pause. "And my sister and the spook were gone."

Willis nodded. At least they knew what had happened now. But as to Cooper and Lloyd's fate, that was anyone's guess. "Sounds like they didn't even bother with the new team, then. They just wanted Natalie and the spook."

"Yes. Which is why they shouldn't have allowed themselves to get isolated like that. I wonder what happened."

Hawk did, too, but that wasn't the main point they needed to concentrate on right now. It was where the Innies could have taken them once they'd been captured, as nearly everyone surmised had occurred after that. He took a long pull from his beer, then pointed at Mark's datapad.

"Can you bring up that map of the region again? Let's see if there's any buildings around where they could've taken them."

Mark shook his head. "I'm a spook, Willis, and I was gone for three hours looking over this stuff just now. I already inquired about each and every one of the nearby facilities. They all check out. There's nowhere within a fifty-mile radius that they could have taken them." He sighed again. "Wherever my sister and the spook are now, it's far from where they started."

Willis set down his beer and ran both hands over his head. "Shit. That doesn't make looking for them very easy."

"No. Unfortunately, they really could be anywhere at this point."

"So what are we going to do?"

Mark snorted. "Me and you _personally_ , nothing. I can't go there, for reasons I've already explained, and neither can you. You're posted here, you're her husband, and you're not in Intelligence. This requires a specially trained team to go in and scour more of the area to see what they can find. I'm going to have to call in a unit that's already in the galactic neighborhood."

"Got one in mind?"

His brother-in-law shook his head. "No. Not yet. But that's what I'll be researching tonight. Whoever I find that's nearby and fits the criteria, I'm guaranteed to get. I just have to give the word." Mark took a sip of his own beer, then met his gaze and added, "So don't worry, Willis. You can rest assured I'll get the very best to save my little sister."


	12. Chapter 11: Reverse

**Chapter Eleven: Reverse**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies.**

Laraza's threat to treat me to scotch next never came to pass, since it'd been too much of a risk to keep going with something else at that point. It'd been a lot to take in, but I was left alone again for a while after that, and this time I embraced the calm quiet. When they brought in water several hours later - to drink this time, not drown me in - I didn't even look at it. The next day I was thirsty, however, and my throat was dry, so I finally got up the courage to pick it up and swallow some, in small sips at a time. I found though if my hand slipped and I ingested more than intended, I'd panic and spit it all out onto the floor. It was going to be a long time before I felt safe enough to do something that simple again.

Under any other circumstances, I would've snorted at myself. I was scared of drinking water. Just one of many things the rebels had taken from me so far.

I'd also thought a lot about what Laraza had said to me, probably days ago now. About how the UNSC and ONI weren't quite the heroic and noble organizations I'd always believed them to be. It'd been easy to dismiss the story at first as a ploy to try to turn me, or at least make the rebels seem sympathetic, and most of the time I still didn't believe it. But in the solitude and dim lighting of my cell, it got me thinking. I'd been wrong about how bad the Innies were. It was possible I could be wrong in how I'd idealized the government I worked for, too. Humanity had a dark side, as I was learning now, and in my lifetime, it was something that had always been overshadowed by what the aliens had done to us for years. Swept under the rug. Now that that threat had diminished somewhat, even though the Covenant and Prometheans weren't completely gone, people's old habit of being cruel to each other was starting to rear its ugly head again.

And this time, I was in the middle of it.

At least now they felt I was weak enough to throw into a cell under guard instead of keeping me tied constantly to that damn chair. My muscles had hurt badly when I'd first been released, and it was a long time before I could tolerate being in another position. Even sitting now on the dirty floor with my knees up to my chest still made everything ache. But it was getting better.

I had a cot now, too, and it was easier to eat whenever they decided to bring me food. The meals were less frequent and smaller, though - they couldn't risk me getting stronger when I wasn't bound. Their only protection right now were the bars, and I'd been trying to figure out a way to get past them over the last few days - what I thought had been days, anyway. Keeping my mind occupied like that is what usually helped keep the harsh memories at bay in my waking hours, but the few times I was able to sleep, the nightmares began to reemerge. I was starting to wake up often in cold sweat with my heart pounding, not remembering the dreams yet, but realizing the symptoms were getting worse. I needed my meds and I wanted my family picture back, so I spent a lot of time calculating how that could be accomplished.

Plus I hadn't seen Cal since that day with the water. I worried about him, too, and how he was holding up.

It was with all this that I decided I needed to make my move soon, whatever that would be. I was getting weaker, and now I was finally kept unbound in my cell. I figured this was the best time to attempt an escape.

If they ever let me out of here again.

Just then someone rattled the bars, and I pressed both hands tight against my ears at the shrill sound, shutting my eyes. When I opened them again, I looked over to see Daria standing there on the other side, smirking.

"I gather you've had plenty of time alone here to think. The commander wants you outside again. Come here."

"Fuck off," I said in a low voice.

Daria released a theatrical sigh. "Colonel, let's be honest. You know that one way or another, what we want to happen is what _will_ happen. Now I can come in there, and drag you outside, or you can walk up to the bars so I can place your restraints."

For a moment I wondered if it would be best to show cooperation - so they felt secure and let their guard down - or to have Daria come in here, where I wasn't yet bound and had more of a chance to move freely. I figured if she had to come in she'd expect it, and I might lose my shot at getting put back in a cell rather than a chair. So reluctantly I got up, walked over to the bars, and turned around to push my wrists out between them.

"Very good. So you can be trained," Daria said, obviously amused. I grit my teeth and ignored it. She wouldn't be when I slipped out of her grasp.

She carefully wrapped my hands behind me with several feet of tape, then used her combat knife to slice off the end and slapped it down. I turned around again to face her, and as she opened the cell, she added, "Now hurry. Garrett is waiting."

She stood behind me with her pistol at my back as she walked me to what I'd come to know as the interrogation room. I expected to be questioned yet again as to what my mission was here, what orders I'd given to my Marines, where we were based and how many of us there were. I'd never said a word about any of that and I wouldn't. But seeing the water drum beside Garrett when I entered made me pause.

He noticed my sudden change of expression and smirked. "Welcome back, Colonel. This time I took the boss's suggestion again. He said he'd save the booze for later. That you seem to be just fine with water now, too."

I made a show of trying to wrangle out of Daria's grasp in fear, not entirely feigned, but she put a quick end to that when she pushed the barrel of her gun harder into my back.

"You have brought this on yourself, so you will not find pity here," she said icily. "You give us the information we went, and I can assure you, we will spare you this."

"Yeah, and what about Lloyd?" I spat. "You didn't spare him shit. He was shot in the chest and you still beat him to a damn pulp last time. If _anything_ \- "

"Don't worry, he's alive," Daria countered. "You have my word. However, his _future_ well-being will be determined by what and how much you say." She looked me in the eyes then. "As will yours."

At that she handed me off to Garrett, and together they pushed me down into that damn hard chair I hated more than most things I ever had. I noticed that they didn't bind my feet, just like last time, since I presumed I'd be moving back and forth between the seat and the vat of water. And Laraza was gone. That meant just me and Garrett, and possibly Daria. That was good. I was liking the odds so far.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another prisoner to attend to," Daria said then, putting an end to that theory. "I think Garrett will handle you marvelously on his own from here."

She left the room and Garrett immediately stepped in front of me, giving me a dark grin, clearly getting ready to enjoy torturing me some more at the water drum. He was going to be damn surprised when I used that on _him_.

But first, in order to get my plan in motion, I had to stall.

When he made to grab me by the arm and lift me up, I shrank back and shook my head.

"No, please. I can't do the water again."

He stopped and folded his arms across his chest, amused. "Funny. You seemed to like it last time."

"I...no. I just..." I shut my eyes tight, made my voice tremble. "What can I say to stop this?"

"You know exactly what," Garrett scoffed. "Why are you here, Colonel? Where are your men hiding? When will you _leave_?"

Unbeknownst to Garrett, I was already sawing at the tape behind me, using a sharp chip of floor from my cell. I'd grabbed it when I'd heard Daria approaching, and kept it in my fist as she'd bound up my hands. It was proving very useful now, but it would take some time to slice through the thick tape.

"Better yet, what does the UNSC want with Puget?" he asked.

"We came here to help," I answered, and he snorted.

"Help? Really? You expect me to believe that?" Now he straight-up laughed. "Have you _seen_ this place? It's an icy shithole of the first degree. You think the people who live here _want_ to be here? No. We just can't afford to move someplace else, so we _make due_. What could the UNSC possibly hope to do with that?"

"It's a remote planet off the beaten path," I continued, and that much was pretty true. "The Covenant could strike at any moment, and you'd be unprepared. They'd take over this rock in _hours_ , not days. Nobody wants that. Especially not us."

He blinked at me. "That's really why you're here? To _protect_ us?"

"I swear."

His backhand hit me with all the force I remembered, and I grunted at the impact, feeling blood already welling up inside my cheek. I spit it out, breathing hard, and tried to regain my bearings. Remember what I was slowly and quietly doing behind my back as we spoke.

Garrett was in my face this time, and again I smelled his smoky scent. "You're a liar, Colonel, and you're not even a very good one. Just for that, I think I'll give you an extra helping of _water_ today."

I shook my head and chuckled. "Is it so hard to believe we care?"

"About Puget, yes."

He was making his move now, and my attempt at stalling was over. I knew that, so I used all the strength I could muster in one last sweep of the concrete fragment in my hand to release my wrists.

By then he was reaching for me, so it stopped him cold when I reached around for him this time, closing my hands around his throat. If I was smarter and more ruthless, I could have used my fragment to slice open his carotid artery without a second thought, and ended this fast. But I still found I couldn't do it, so I was going to have to do this the hard way - incapacitate him hand-to-hand.

I pressed my thumbs down over his Adam's apple and he groaned, swiping at me with hands but I leaned out of the way, trying to apply just enough pressure to make him pass out. It was working until he got his second wind and I didn't dodge him in time, and suddenly I was doubling over with a harsh punch to the gut.

He got on me then as I was on all fours and punched me in the ribs, forcing even more air out of my lungs. I gave a muted cry, and somehow he turned me over so I was on my back and he smirked, thinking he had me right where he wanted me. But in that same moment I grit my teeth and brought my knee up hard between his legs, and he rolled off and howled. I turned over and got on one knee, punching him hard in the nose, then his head. Before he recovered I quickly pulled one of the shoe laces off his boots and wound it around his neck, coming around behind him now, and tugged.

I watched him struggle and it was almost more than I could bear, but he had done enough to me that I wasn't feeling very sorry about what I had to do. I let go just before he stopped moving, not wanting to kill him, and then checked his pulse at his throat. Still beating. I released a small sigh of relief and, seeing he was out for now, I quickly searched him for his gun and an extra mag and walked out.

In the end, I hadn't even needed to use the big water drum.


	13. Chapter 12: Bull's Eye

**Chapter Twelve: Bull's Eye**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies.**

Out in the hall it was quiet, and I found that strange. I had no idea how large the facility was where we were being held, or if Caleb and I were the only prisoners. It was very possible we weren't - and if so, I would've expected some ambient noise coming from one of the other cells, or from wandering guards. Instead there was nothing, so I paused a moment longer to be sure I didn't hear anyone approaching, glanced behind me to ensure Garrett was still down, and then gripped my pistol tighter and kept moving.

I kept the weapon pointed low as I went, holding it with both hands; if I happened on a guard, my first resort was to evade, and if spotted, find some other soundless way to incapacitate. The gun was more for show than anything else, because I knew without a silencer, I might as well set off the alarm bells myself if I fired it. Hopefully in the moment any guard I encountered wouldn't think of that, but would definitely be deterred by a firearm in their face.

My main goal was obviously to get to my friend before we escaped, but I also needed my medicine and photo back. Maybe that would be easier to track down with two people, but given Cal's precarious status, it might be more work, too. So I set off to find whatever might be the central office around here, and search it to find my stuff. Then I'd go after Lloyd.

My mind raced as I tried to take the hallways and corners slow, making sure the coast was clear before every move. If I tried to rush this we might get out of here faster, but I knew a sloppy escape attempt would only end badly. Caution would prevent mistakes, even if it took longer - and right now, the promise of being free was enough to keep me going at a steady pace.

"Yes? And where is she now?"

I froze and shoved my back against the wall, suddenly hearing voices further down. I recognized the first one easily. Looks like Laraza was back.

"She's in room three with Garrett," a second voice, female, said. Daria. I strained to listen.

"More water aerobics?" This was said with a hint of amusement.

"Yes, sir. Seemed to work well enough last time."

Laraza snorted. "That is relative, I think. She has yet to speak."

"Well...yeah. But I believe we're starting to break her. We always knew it would take some time."

"Her nightmares are returning?"

"Yes, sir. And when we brought water into her cell the other day, she let it sit for hours. Not looking at it, not touching it. She waited until the next day and still barely drank it."

"Ah. So we are having an effect. Good work."

I stood there in silence gritting my teeth. More than anything I wanted every last one of these bastards captured themselves and in UNSC custody, for what they were doing to me and Cal and maybe others, but that would have to wait. If the lieutenant and I managed this escape, I'd be sure to commit the area to memory, and I'd come back with my Marines and hit it in force. They were not getting away with what they were doing out here...wherever "here" was.

Rather than remain and listen some more, I opted to start moving again. While they were engaged in conversation, it meant they'd stay where they were, and I could roam in the meantime. I also thought Laraza might want to come into the room where I was held to come see me, and that was _not_ going to end well when he noticed an unconscious Garrett on the floor. Now, unlike before, I had incentive to hurry.

I slipped past them as they talked through an adjacent corridor, leading me to another small block of cells - three. They were all empty. That made me hopeful that maybe this was a new operation for them, and perhaps me and Caleb were the only ones they'd caught so far. Whatever the case, it meant I had to look harder for my buddy - and where my stuff was being kept.

When I made it to the end of the hall, I saw it lead to a dead end - but I noticed a smaller room off to the side. Thinking it could potentially be an office where prisoners' effects were kept, I leaned in around the corner to get a look...and quickly flattened against the wall again, covering my mouth with one hand to stifle my surprise. Inside was nothing but a small desk with a shut-off COM unit set up - a communications closet. But that hadn't been what had startled me. It was the rebel pair, male and female, making out fervently against the wall. From the looks of it, things were heading in a very interesting direction.

Well. I was not about to get in the way of _that_.

I turned and went back down the way I'd come, feeling a little more at ease knowing at least two Innies were out of the picture for now. Although not by much. I didn't know my way around the building, and I knew I could potentially just be going around in circles until I got caught again. I made an effort to remember each way I turned or went straight down a hallway, and eventually, I made it to another door. It looked heavily reinforced, and I realized that it was a door to the outside. An exit.

Finally.

I reached out towards the barrier and it was cold to the touch. Freezing. And yet somehow, that was comforting. After hours and days stuck inside this place, I was so close to freedom that I nearly teared up. But I couldn't go through that door right now. Not just yet. I needed to get my things, and then break out Cal. Only then could we leave - only together. I wasn't going to abandon him here.

"I see you found the way out."

I heard Daria's voice behind me and stiffened...especially when I felt the hard press of a gun to my back. Shutting my eyes tight, I inwardly cursed. I'd been so damn close.

The rebel's smug cockiness made it into her next words as she continued, "Question is, how did you get here, hmm? Where's Garrett?"

I tried to think fast. I couldn't allow Daria to alert the others, or risk letting Laraza know that Garrett was down. It wouldn't help me at all if she fired off her gun, either, and mine was equally useless for the same reason.

"Fine. No need to answer right away." I felt the bite of the weapon now, digging into me. "But I do need you to lower that gun, unless you want to follow your security team to the grave."

My eyes widened. This was the first time I'd heard her confirm their fate. Sorrow bubbled up inside me, overwhelming my chest, but there was nothing I could do for them now.

There was something I could do for myself though, and for Caleb. And anyone else who might be trapped here. I could escape and come back with an army.

"You bitch," I growled, and spun fast, dropping my gun and swiping at hers, knocking it aside with one arm while I drove the other straight into her stomach. She was surprised by the blow and doubled over, holding her middle while I sent another hit to her jaw. I thought I should feel bad, but I didn't. She'd wanted to hand me over to Garrett on a silver platter and had no qualms about doing it. She'd mocked my pain over missing my family. And she was keeping me from saving myself and my friend now. I punched her again before she recovered, and the back of her head hit the wall. With that she slumped forward and went still. She was out.

I crouched down and checked her pulse, ensuring she was still alive and that I hadn't hit too hard. Daria's heartbeat thrummed beneath my fingers and I released a sigh. Another one down. I was going to have to move even quicker, before the bodies started piling up.

After the next corner I halted for several minutes, as a guard stood down at the end, holding his rifle lightly to his chest. His body didn't move but he kept his eyes scanning, and he was blocking the only way to go forward. I was at a loss as to what to do to get him out of the area without arousing suspicion, but then Laraza showed up from one of the side corridors.

"Where is Daria? Have you seen her?"

The guard shook his head. "No, boss. I thought she was with you."

"She was, but then she left to get something in my office. I haven't seen her return, and she should be back by now."

"I don't know, sir. Maybe she had to use the ladies' room."

That nearly made me snort. I couldn't imagine what kind of accommodations they had here for that.

Finally Laraza let out a sigh. "Fine. If you see her when she is finished, tell her I am waiting."

"I will, sir."

The rebel leader paused then just as he was about to leave. "You know, I do not see you getting much activity here. Why don't you come with me? We will find her faster that way."

"Sure thing, boss."

The guard took one last look around and seemed to shrug to himself, thinking the place was secure enough in his absence. That helped me out a lot, and I was able to see what he'd been guarding. Javier's executive office.

 _Bingo._

I slipped in as quietly as possible, shoving my pistol in the waistband of my uniform pants since they'd removed my holster, and started looking for any signs of the gear we'd had on us when we'd been taken. Sadly, this escape wasn't going to be quite that easy, but I did find my pills after rifling through a drawer at Laraza's large desk. I kept looking for my family picture, something I could do without but really didn't want to, when I found it in one of the most obvious places. Stuck to a frame.

I immediately frowned as I swiped it and put it inside one of my pockets. Why Laraza would keep my family photo on his desk, attached to one of the frames with _his_ pictures in it, I didn't know. The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn't have the time or desire to mull it over. Now that I had what I needed, minus the weapons and armor we'd come here with, I had to get to the spook.

Edging back out of the office quietly took some effort, as I didn't know when Laraza and his lackey would return. I guess they hadn't found Daria yet, or Garrett, or the whole place would've been on alert by now. I probably didn't have a whole lot of time left, so after checking to make sure the coast was clear, I started to half-jog down the hall.

Two more rights later, I entered the third cell block.

And the very first prisoner was Lloyd.

I walked up to the bars, relief flooding through me, and said, "Cal, hurry. We need to go."

He was curled up on his cot at the moment, and he glanced between the bars sleepy-eyed. "What?"

"Caleb. Get up. _Now_."

The Navy lieutenant seemed to take in the scene all at once, seeing me standing there with a gun outside the bars, and he quickly stood. I winced when he limped and groaned a bit at the motion, but otherwise he was good to go.

"Okay, I'm ready, ma'am," he said, looking expectantly at me, blue eyes wide. "How do I get out?"

I pulled the key card I'd swiped from the office and grinned, for the first time in about two weeks. "With this."

For a moment I stuck my gun in the waistband at my back again, needing both hands to secure the cell door while I swiped. I was reaching over to do so when a shot rang out - and in the same instant, I suddenly doubled over against the bars, dropping the card as I gripped them with both hands to keep myself upright. I didn't know what was happening until I felt the searing pain in my leg and cried out. I shut my eyes tight and grit my teeth, muttering, "What the _hell_."

When I tried to stand on it, I couldn't, and pain ripped through my whole body. I yelped again and shifted my weight to my other leg, breathing hard now and sweating. I glanced down and that's when I noticed it. There was blood on the bars, as well as Cal's battledress pants. My blood.

Behind me, I heard laughter.

"So you thought you could escape, eh? I have to admit, that was a very nice try, Colonel. Bravo." He came up to my ear and whispered, "But I don't think you'll be going anywhere again soon with that leg."

"You bastard!" Lloyd shouted viciously from the other side of the bars. "You shot her!"

"Yes. I did what I had to do to secure my very dangerous prisoner. She already knocked out two of my people in her attempt to get to you. But that was her mistake. Trying to save you both instead of only herself, which I believe she could have done quite handily." I heard the smirk on his face as I concentrated on breathing through the pain, still holding onto the bars for support. "And now, she will pay."

I heard boots pounding fast against the concrete floor as two more guards came in. They were bulky, male, and I recognized them both as two of the men who'd captured me. Now, they were doing it all over again.

"No," I croaked, not letting go of the bars when they came up behind me, each taking hold of one arm to pry me off and take me back to my cell. "You can't do this. The UNSC will come after you. I'm not the one who will pay, Laraza. It'll be _you_."

Laraza just laughed again as the two rebels manhandled me off the cell door. I winced as I added weight to my wounded leg, where I'd been shot in the back of my calf, and still didn't really know the extent of the damage. I did know, however, that any escape attempt from here on out would be nearly impossible. Not just because they wouldn't allow me out of their sight again, but also because I could hardly walk on the damn thing. And Javier knew it.

"If you thought you were being mistreated before, Cooper, think again. Now that you have shown your true colors, we shall show you _ours_."

As I was pushed out of the block I turned back one last time to glance at Caleb. He was still holding onto the bars loosely from inside his cell, so close to being rescued but so far, and the empty look on his face said it all.

We'd lost.


	14. Chapter 13: Tyranny

**Chapter Thirteen: Tyranny**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies.**

I was surprised when Laraza ordered his men to take me back to my cell and leave me there. I was expecting some sort of grand gesture of power and I'd feared for Caleb's safety at first. It wasn't out of the question for the rebels to harm him in retaliation for my failed jailbreak. But I guess with my leg now injured, Javier was not anticipating similar attempts in the near future. I was out of commission, and he knew it.

The two Innies searched me first and removed all I'd taken from Garrett and Laraza's office - except my family photo. That I'd hidden where they'd never find it. It was mine and I didn't want it in the rebel leader's hands. Not again. They then remained in the cell with me for several minutes, pointing their weapons at me to make sure I didn't move. I wondered why I was under guard _inside_ the cell when the answer presented itself.

In short order a red-haired man with exam gloves and a medical bag came in. He set his stuff down beside me and said nothing, grabbing a hold of my leg without a word, and I groaned when he moved it. But I wasn't about to protest with so many guns aimed at me. At the end of the day, I still wanted to make it out of here alive.

"That bullet hurt? Good. It means you won't be trying to get out of here again," he said, rolling up my pant leg to my knee. "Get on the cot, Colonel. On your stomach. I need to stop the bleeding and give you some antiseptic, unless you wanna lose it below the knee to infection."

He didn't help me move and neither did the guards, so I grit my teeth and limped there, each step like a fiery nightmare as I applied the least amount of pressure I could to my shot leg. I wasn't really in the mood to chat so I kept my mouth shut, just waiting for the procedure to be over with.

What he hadn't told me, but of course needed to happen, was that he was going to take the bullet out of me first. Without any pain meds.

I nearly screamed when I felt him digging around with his instruments inside the wound in my calf. I started to sweat and shut my eyes tight, biting down hard on the dirty collar of my uniform jacket. I thought I might pass out but I didn't, and after living in blind agony for what felt like minutes, I heard the metallic _plop_ of the bullet shards going into a tin.

"You'll be glad to know the worst is over," he said, then produced a small canister of biofoam and inserted it into the wound. "Pity for me, though. I like watching jarheads squirm."

After that he neatly cleaned the area with cotton pads before wrapping the lower half of my leg in gauze. "All done," he announced to the guards, and then he removed his gloves, placed them in the bag, and turned back to me. "Enjoy your stay, Colonel," he said, smirking as he left. The guards gave me one last hard look and finally walked out as well.

I continued lying there on the cot for a while longer, trying to catch my breath and waiting for the sharp pain to ease. I didn't kid myself that the rebels actually cared about my health either way; it only mattered because they needed me alive to question, and not delirious with fever in case an infection set in. It was the same reason they'd patched up Cal before. But for right now, it worked in our favor - and I didn't have to worry about losing part of my leg down the road.

Once the pain in my calf went from unbearable to only slightly tolerable, I pushed myself up from the cot to sit on the floor again, with much effort. The pain spiked through the movement and became blinding, but again I waited for it to pass, and it did. So I started to think again of a plan.

While my first attempt at escape clearly hadn't worked, I'd learned some valuable lessons. I knew the layout of the building now, more or less. That would help save time in future tries. I also knew that discipline amongst the rebels wasn't the best, if the two lovebirds I'd stumbled on were anything to go by. The problem now was going to be my leg, and the fact that the whole compound would be on higher alert after my attempt. I'd likely have more guards assigned to me - I already had two now outside my cell instead of one - and I probably wouldn't be left alone with a handler in an interrogation room, either. I'd gained more knowledge about what I was up against and how to maneuver through it, but I was also considerably weakened now, with more foes to face. I wasn't sure how Caleb and I were going to do it, yet I was determined to try again. I just had to wait to heal a little more first.

But not too long, because after just a few weeks in without my meds for the nightmares, I knew things would start getting bad.

* * *

Somehow I was asleep when they came - and it was just as rude of an awakening as I'd thought it'd be. My heart started pounding hard in my chest before I was even half-conscious, as I was pulled up from under my arms by the two burly guards again. They didn't say where we were going, or what was happening - but I thought I had an idea, and it scared me.

"Get off!" I yelled, but as soon as I tried to stand the pain tore through my hurt leg and I stopped. "Where are you taking me?"

"Another room. Boss's orders," one of the men replied, then yanked my shoulder harder. "Now shut up."

"Like hell!"

I struggled some more and was hit hard in my bad leg, making me groan loud and deep as the pain nearly blinded me this time. It was so bad I didn't even remember how I made it the rest of the way to the interrogation room. But when I opened my eyes next, I was sitting on the damn chair again, tied up with tape and alone with Garrett and one of the guards.

Apparently he'd recovered.

He laughed without humor as he slapped a new piece of duct tape over my mouth before I could speak, clearly enjoying this. "So I heard you tried to escape after you made me go night-night. Can't blame you, I guess. Like I said, nobody in their right mind _wants_ to be here. You probably less than most. But I have my orders, and you've got yours, and I want to _find out_ what yours _are_. So the wheel keeps turning and the earth keeps moving, until you give it up."

As he spoke he crouched down in front of me and started wrapping up my ankles to the chair legs, like before. My body ached just returning to this damn position, and I wondered how long I'd be here this time. Probably a long while. Until they thought they'd be safe stuffing me into a cell again. I groaned as Garrett wound up my hurt leg extra roughly, and I shut my eyes tight against the pain.

"That hurt? Good. Hurt when you choked me, too." He stopped and glanced up, his face close to me as he balanced on his haunches. "But you made a mistake, see. You let me live. You let Daria live. You've got a heart, Colonel, and that's a rare and _sad_ thing to see out here in the outskirts. It almost always means you won't survive."

I noticed for the first time then that when he moved, there was no big water drum behind him. But there was a large holoscreen, and I wonder what it was that he was going to display.

He grinned darkly as he looked up at the ceiling and said, arms folded across his chest, "Kill the lights in room three."

It all went black. I started breathing a little heavier, not knowing what to expect, but then a clip began to play. It took me a moment to realize it was helmet cam footage from one of the men who'd taken me hostage. Garrett's.

"Thought you might want to relive what happened from another angle, Colonel," he sneered from behind me. "To watch the minute you became our _property_."

I snorted and tried to simply shut my eyes at first, but Garrett leaned over and saw, coming back in front of me and forcing them open again, making sure I watched. I watched all of it, the whole devastating attack, as each member of my security detail was cornered and shot to death, screaming and bleeding out as they died, most instantly. All except for one. As I struggled with my detainers in the video, Staff Sergeant Lynch lay dying a few feet away, still alive but rapidly losing red fluid from his gut.

I tried to look away again, tears rolling down my face now, the impossibility of watching this all over again overwhelming me, but Garrett returned my attention where it was supposed to be. I had to keep my eyes glued to the scene, watch myself get beaten unconscious and dragged away, and then one last rebel walk up to my aide - a good Marine I'd known for years - and shoot him in the head, point blank, to end his misery. At least they'd spared him that. But it was still one of the hardest things I'd ever had to witness. With one last gunshot, Staff Sergeant Derek Lynch was dead.

It was one thing to know your team, people you'd been close to, had died. It was quite another to watch it unfold in front of you, even if only on a screen. I sucked in a sharp breath through my nostrils and felt - knew - that all control over my emotions was nearly gone.

The clip finally ended when Garrett stood staring at the carnage left behind at the scene for a few seconds longer. Then he turned away - presumably to follow the rest of Laraza's goons back to this place. Wherever they'd taken me and Cal. I took in a shuddering breath when it was all over, surprised I'd made it through without a complete breakdown...

But then the video started again.

Garrett just smirked.

"Enjoy the movie, _Colonel_. It'll be playing all night."

And with that, he and the guard exited the room.


	15. Chapter 14: Exodus

**Chapter Fourteen: Exodus**

 **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. Location Unknown. Planet Puget, Outer Colonies.**

More time passed. I wasn't sure how much. Maybe another few days. The hours were starting to pile up and I lost track.

I was losing hope, too.

The night I'd spent inside room three, watching the deaths of my security detail over and over and over, had been without a doubt the worst thing I'd experienced throughout this entire ordeal. I couldn't sleep, couldn't get the images out of my head, and had long since run out of tears by the time Garrett walked in the next morning to finally shut it off. By then I said nothing, didn't move and didn't do anything to stop him when he and the guard untied me from the chair, pulled the tape from my mouth, and walked me back to my cell. I was finally beaten, and they knew it.

The guard returned a short while later with some food and water. I touched neither for a long time. I just laid back on my cot and stared at the ceiling, afraid to close my eyes because then I'd see the horrific clip all over again.

Eventually I'd fallen asleep, and the nightmares got worse. I woke up crying and shaking and I remembered why, for the first time in years. It was strange when I preferred the nightmares to what I'd watched in my waking hours. I hadn't seen or heard from Cal, either, and I worried about him, but there was nothing I could do about that now. I'd tried and failed, and I was broken.

For now, though, I sat in a corner of the cell, with my back to the guards, staring at the last vestige of sanity and good in this place: the picture of my family I'd stolen back from Laraza's office. I'd hidden it inside one of my combat boots under my foot, so it was creased in some places, but still viewable. It took all I had to keep it together while I stared at it, looking at the smiling faces and remembering how happy we'd been just a few short months ago on Mars. It was crazy, really, how quickly things changed.

I missed them, and I wondered if I'd ever make it out of here to let them know. To see them again.

 _Jesus, Will,_ I thought, touching a finger to his face. _I'm sorry._ He must've been sick with worry, if he even knew I'd been captured in the first place. Over the years he'd become more and more adamant that I watch myself in combat, and make sure I took no unnecessary risks, for our family's sake - and his. I knew how much it hurt them all when I was in danger, and this time, I'd really gone and fucked it up.

The thought of leaving Gabriel and Logan and Olivia and Liam without a mother hit me hard. Most of the time while I was fighting, I didn't think about it. My death was an accepted risk, but in the moment it was about protecting my men, my Marines, and stopping the enemy. Here, there was none of that immediacy. It was just time on my hands - to think, to remember, to _fester_.

And here, the idea that I might die if I didn't reveal something soon, if I didn't prove useful, weighed heavy on me.

Not for myself, but for them.

I felt like anything I did now was a betrayal to someone - or something - I loved. If I kept quiet and got myself killed, it was my family that would suffer the consequences of that. If I spoke up and mentioned something about our mission, I was a failure and a disgrace as a Marine, an officer, and a leader. There were no good choices except trying to get out, and I felt I'd long since exhausted any real drive or ability to do that.

And after so much time had passed, I realized now that the UNSC wasn't coming to save us. We were stuck.

So what option did I have except to give it one last shot? I wasn't going to betray everyone and everything I'd always stood for by giving the rebels what they wanted. And neither was I going to die a miserable prisoner in a cell, either. If my family was ultimately going to learn of my death anyway, I wanted to go down swinging.

"Rise and shine, princess," I heard behind me then, and I quickly stuffed the photo back in my boot and turned around. It was Daria. She was smiling.

"I still have a welt on my head where it hit the wall, you know," she said as she approached the bars. "You've got quite a mean hook. I'm surprised, though. You're very controlled...for a caged beast."

"Is there something you want? I'm kind of busy," I replied, and she laughed.

"Oh, I can see that! So many cracks on the ceiling to count, I'm sure. But that'll have to wait for later, I'm afraid. We've got some activities on the agenda for today." She sneered. "I heard you _really_ enjoyed your movie the other day. And now, I think we've got something you'll like even more."

"A ticket out?"

"You'll see. Guards, open the cell. She's coming with me."

* * *

It appeared Daria was just my chaperone, because she stayed only long enough to send me to another interrogation room. I wondered if Laraza would show up, but he didn't, either. Once again, it was Garrett. And he looked particularly happy today, which was not good news for me.

I was trussed up in my familiar chair before Daria left, only this time my mouth wasn't taped shut. There was no water drum, again. That should've been my first indication that this wasn't going to be an ordinary torture and baiting.

"I've got good news, Colonel," Garrett said with a gleam in his eyes. "The boss just said to go ahead with one of his original plans. He said you needed a break. An escape after all you'd been through - _figurative_ , you understand. So he gave me this to share with you."

He produced a bottle of aged scotch from behind his back, one that looked awfully similar to the one the rebel leader had gifted me before I'd left Khan. I'd had more of the stuff than I cared to admit after returning home from that adventure. Now, it looked like I'd be having extra.

I didn't know how to feel about that. I hadn't had a drink in a very long time, for good reason. But then again, I wasn't exactly itching to remain present in my current reality. I hadn't been offered many concessions during my ordeal so far. A drink would be nice right now.

So I grinned. "That's generous. Where's the glasses?"

Garrett smirked, too, but it wasn't a pleasant one. "I think I forgot to mention we're not doing this by the glass. We're going by the _bottle_."

There was another behind his back as well, which he brought forward then and placed on the ground. If he expected me to drink all that, I'd be dead very shortly. _At least it'll be quick._

"Sounds good," I said, trying to keep my voice level. "What're we celebrating?"

"Your new allegiance," he responded smoothly, and came up beside me then, first bottle in hand. "You're going to become one of us today." He popped it open and raised it a little higher. "Because I'm going to make you drink till you _talk_."

At that I was the one who chuckled this time. "I've been known to get drunk, but not spill secrets while doing so. Try if you want."

"Oh, I _will_."

He gestured to the two other guards in the room to hold me steady while he poured the booze. It was almost like being held underwater in the barrel, but with liquor. He poured fast, a lot of the scotch splashing on the ground and on me as I tried to dodge. I nearly choked and swallowed a bunch, the liquid burning down my throat. Then, he stopped.

When he pulled back and I was done coughing on the stuff, I noticed the bottle was a quarter gone.

"That should be enough for now," he said, satisfied. "I heard you haven't had alcohol in a while, so this should get you going quick. Now, we wait."

I sat back and giggled, already feeling some of the effects. "You know I'm getting out of here, right? One way or the other, dead or alive. And when I do, if I'm still living, I'm coming back here with my men. And we'll get every last one of you psychotic bastards. There won't be any clemency this time. Not after what you've done."

Garrett just continued to smirk, folding his arms across his chest. "Yeah? And where are your men? Are they close by? Is there a lot of them?"

"I'm not that drunk yet, you asshole. Just tipsy."

"I can fix that."

He lifted the bottle again from the floor and raised it, gesturing to the two guards to move in to help hold me down again, when the first muffled shot rang out. Both guards went down in quick succession, before Garrett or I realized what was happening. And then, as he turned, the rebel son of a bitch was shot right in the head. He was dead.

I shut my eyes tight and winced as his blood hit me in a spray of red. I heard a heavy body drop before I opened them again, and when I did, my heart pounded faster as a figure clad in black with a dark mask on made their way to me. They'd just shot the rebels but I didn't know what this was about, so I panicked until they lowered their silenced pistol and held out their other hand to me, empty.

"What the hell?" I shouted, once I was put together enough to glance around at the carnage. "Who are you?"

Slowly the figure pulled off their mask with their free hand, and I gasped. The short brown hair and the matching brown eyes were ones I recognized instantly, but hadn't seen for two long years. Ever since the battle in Savannah on Earth, when he'd - for lack of a better word - all but disappeared.

"Natalie, it's okay. It's me. We're here to get you out."

"Ethan," I breathed, but that was as far as I got. I heard rising commotion outside the room, and it sounded like all hell was breaking loose.

My ex became more agitated as well, gripping the pistol in his right hand tighter. "We need to hurry, Nat. We don't have a lot of time and there aren't enough of us to take them all on. Can you walk? Are you hurt?"

I nodded without really thinking, then amended, "My leg. I was shot. It...hurts." I winced at the motion when he cut the tape tying it to the chair. "But I think I can manage."

"Good. I think Lloyd might be in worse shape than you, so he'll need our help."

"He's alive?"

"Yes." He cut the last of the straps and held out his free hand again. "Come on."

I grabbed a hold of it and stood a little unsteadily, my leg screaming in pain, but I tried my best to ignore it. I didn't know if I was just too buzzed to stand, or too hurt, or too weak, but it took me precious moments to get my bearings. Ethan was impatient and eventually just pulled his mask down and tugged me along.

"Stay behind me. I'd give you a gun but I saw those bottles of booze on the ground. I don't think you'd be hitting much right now."

"I'm _fine_ ," I ground out. "Just hand me one. I know who to shoot at and who not to."

He looked me in the eyes for a moment, hesitated, then pulled another sidearm from his leg holster. "Here. It's loaded, so be careful."

I snorted but took his advice to stay on his six. I had no illusions about the kind of shape I was in, and I didn't think charging ahead on my own right now was a good idea. For once.

We raced down the hallway and ran smack into another Innie, who looked just as surprised as us as he raised his gun. He wasn't fast enough. Ethan downed him in two point-blank shots, and we were moving again.

"Not so fast!" I called out behind him, struggling to keep up with my bum leg. "And we need to get into Laraza's office. I need my meds."

Ethan frowned. "Who's Laraza?"

"The rebel leader, and a sick bastard. Let's move."

Somehow I ended up at point this time. Further in the corridors I heard several astonished cries, then the muffled shots from a silenced pistol...and louder ones from an SMG.

"Shit," Ethan spat. "That's Brady. We need to get in and out, fast."

"On it."

When we got to the office door, I tried to pull it open but it was locked. I glanced back at Ethan and he gestured for me to get out of the way, kicking it open in one swift movement. He stepped inside first and immediately took care of the rebel guard hiding the corner. As the man slumped down the wall, his blood trailing behind him, Ethan went up to the desk and began his search. He produced the bottle of pills shortly.

"These them?"

"Yeah."

He tossed it at me and barely waited for me to catch it before hustling me out of the room.

"I gotta say, I'm not sure why they're that important to you," he commented as we made it back out into the hall. "Willis isn't here with you...and they didn't seem to do you much good back on Earth."

My mind was still a little fuzzy from the alcohol, and I didn't follow. "What?"

He pointed down at the pills in my fist and I fumed.

"These are not _birth control_ , Ethan. And that is _not_ your business."

Ethan just grinned. "Sorry. Had to say it. What are they for, then?"

"Again, _not_ your business."

He shrugged. "I could just look it up, you know. I'm a spook."

At that I grew angrier. "You said you wouldn't do that shit, Ethan."

"Relax, I'm joking. Don't shoot me in the back, please."

I was left racing behind him, bewildered, when we rounded another corner into a small massacre. Slumped against the wall were the bodies of two rebels, male and female, and what I assumed to be an ONI operative from Ethan's team on the opposite side, black mask over his face, dead. I recognized the Innies. They were the lovers I'd run into on my failed escape attempt.

I couldn't really say I felt bad about their fate.

"Who's the spook?" I asked, feeling more badly for him. He'd risked his life to save mine, and Cal's.

"Richards. Good guy." He paused to bend down to grab his dogtags, but not much longer. "Let's go. Things are getting way too busy in here, and we've got a Pelican on the way."

We continued down the corridor into the next room, where we bumped into a third member of Ethan's team. It was then that he mentioned there was only one more, currently helping Caleb to escape. He ordered the third we'd found to go down and aid the lieutenant as well, and we followed - more slowly, because of my leg. I found it strange we hadn't bumped into Javier yet, but I figured that maybe the commander wasn't in the compound. He seemed to come and go at odd times, and I briefly wondered where he went. But that would have to wait for later...when we weren't in immediate danger.

My ex and his teammate shot yet another Innie dead at the next door, just before he rounded the corner to tag Lloyd and the ONI operative holding him up by the shoulders. I could tell by the body type it was a woman. Ethan's teammate ran over to them once the rebel was down to grab onto Caleb's other side, and together, they brought him out.

I teared up instantly and wanted to hug my friend, but there was no time. Instead, I just smiled faintly at him. "It's good to see you."

"You, too."

"All right, we need to wrap this up," Ethan said firmly then, using his command voice. "We've already been here longer than we should. Bird'll be landing in two mikes, so let's roll. Don't stop, and kill only if you have to." His eyes darkened, and I understood that that last order wasn't because he was intent on not harming humans. "We'll get every last one of these fuckers when we come back."

I wasn't sure if there was already a plan set in place for that or not, but right now the main concern was getting out in the first place. Several rebels in the complex had been killed already in the op, but likely not the majority. It was going to take some maneuvering to get out with only the five of us.

But I was determined to do it now, and ready, even if I was in a lot of pain. I'd been waiting to make my escape for a long time, and I wasn't going to let this fall apart now. I owed it to Cal and to my family, and to my Marines. And to myself.

When Ethan turned the corner, I quickly grabbed his arm and guided him the other way.

"I know a faster route," I said, taking point again, growing invigorated from the adrenaline and the fight. "There's an exit just down the hall from here. And it won't be as crowded."

Ethan frowned again but followed my lead. "How do you know?"

"I tried to escape once."

I left it at that for now and raced through the corridor as fast as my limp would allow - and as fast as we could go with the two ONI agents helping Caleb. We were nearly there when I stopped ahead of the others, at a crossroads.

Daria was standing in the way, weapon raised.

"One more step, Colonel, and I won't hesitate to pull the trigger." She grinned darkly. "But I know _you_ will. Drop it."

I snorted at her command, holding my gun up firmly. "I have my men coming up behind me, Daria. So that's not going to happen. You're outnumbered."

She chuckled. "You think so? You guys killed what, four or five of us? Do you know how many there _are_ in here?"

"No, and right now, I don't care. I just want out. And you're in my way."

This time, she laughed. "Then do something about it."

Daria was right. I hesitated. But I saw that flicker of motion in her eyes, the intent, and I knew she was about to fire her gun at me.

So I did first.

Two rounds to the chest did her in. She didn't even have time to look surprised, as she was lying dead on the floor, eyes open wide on her face, a mere second after I'd shot her. I stood there a moment, looking down in a daze, not quite believing the sequence of events in my head - and how an unmoving body became the result. But shortly after, Ethan was by my side, tugging on my sleeve.

"Natalie, keep it together. Your spook's in rough shape and the bird's here. It's over." He gestured in front of me and added, "Just through that door, and we're done."

He stepped over Daria's body like it was nothing and shoved open the heavy door. Outside the cold, biting wind came through, and he paused just long enough to hand me and Cal some ski masks, too.

"Put these on or you'll freeze. They've got heating systems inside. Try not to make any loud noises and keep up a good pace. We're almost out." Finally he acknowledged the presence of a corpse on the ground at our feet and nodded to me. "You did good taking out that bitch. She would've tried to stop us, and could've called for reinforcements. Let's go."

I took one last look at the dead rebel before walking out into the freezing snow. I'd remember Daria forever now.

Ethan didn't know it, but she was my first-ever human kill.


	16. Chapter 15: Alive Yet Not Free

**Chapter Fifteen: Alive, Yet Not Free**

 ** ** ** ** **Time Unknown. Date Unknown. On Approach to ONI Safe Zone. ** **Planet Puget, Outer Colonies****. **********

The Pelican ride back to...wherever it was we were going was quiet, and longer than I would've imagined. It made me wonder how far out the Innies had brought us after taking us hostage. It must've been far, because forty minutes into the flight, we were still airborne and I hadn't heard the pilot announce any plans to land.

That made me think of Willis, and what the hell I was going to say to him after all this was truly over and we were safely back in UNSC territory. How did I begin to describe the hours, days, _weeks_ of what I'd just been through to him?

Maybe there wasn't a way.

"Hey. You've been quiet. You okay?"

I turned my head a little to the side to look at Ethan, sitting beside me inside the Pelican's troop bay, and it was only then that I noticed that he'd placed his hand gently on my knee. He gave it a small squeeze and I wasn't sure what to think or feel about it, given what a mess my mind was at the moment. It did feel comforting in a way, as I supposed it was intended, so I didn't push him aside. In the dark, the others couldn't see.

Finally taking in a deep breath, I released it and said, "No. Not really."

Ethan sighed, too. "I know it's a lot to take in. You must be wondering lots of things right now. Why I'm here, why it took us so long to find you...why I left two years ago."

I didn't say anything or give any indication that I'd heard his words. Of course I had, and maybe before all those things would have mattered. Now, they didn't.

"Are we almost there?" I asked softly, and I was surprised when my ex nodded and moved away.

"Yeah. We should be landing soon."

I nodded but again didn't reply. After the living nightmare I'd endured and the surprising success of the escape, I just didn't have anything else left in me at the moment.

* * *

The first thing I wanted to do when we landed was sleep. Or eat. Or shower. I would've also have liked to hear how my regiment was faring while I'd been gone, but none of that was what Ethan had us do. Instead, the moment we got off the transport, he assumed his command role again.

"Welcome to FarCom Five, everyone. Colonel, this is an ONI blacksite we established on this planet about three months ahead of your arrival, just for this purpose - in case we needed a launching pad for more involved clandestine ops. Lieutenant Lloyd, you and the others already know this, so I won't spend time going over it." He gave me a look, then turned his gaze to Cal. "Right now the two of you are both to report to the medical bay for a physical exam and treatment. After that, we'll take care of some other basics. Any questions you might have, ma'am, you can refer to me later in private."

"Sounds good."

I didn't know what else to say, and I didn't really have any encouraging words for Lloyd right now. Under other circumstances I might have resented the fact that Ethan had taken over, but right now, I was grateful for the reprieve. I was in no shape to be in charge at the moment, and this was more his domain than mine. For once I didn't feel like everything was on me, and I had to admit it was sort of nice.

Too bad it'd come at such a very high cost.

The lieutenant and I were shown to the medbay first thing, and were quickly ushered into separate rooms to get checked out. I got a female orderly along with a female doctor, per regulations, and they looked me over to make sure my gunshot wound was healing okay and properly disinfected, that I didn't have any broken bones, that I hadn't gotten sick while being held captive, and a laundry list of other things as well. I got asked the inevitable question if I'd been sexually assaulted, and when I said no, both seemed to look relieved. In the end I was told my leg looked bad but was steadily healing, and though I'd been clobbered around a few times in the head, I had no concussion, just as I'd suspected. Most of the damage - the physical kind, anyway - was superficial, contusions and abrasions that would heal on their own, given time. It was the psychological scars that remained, and those I wouldn't really know the extent of until I was back out in the field. That's where I assumed we were headed next.

"You're all set, Colonel," Commander Claire Thompson said. "We'll have a look at your gunshot wound again tomorrow and switch out the bandages before you leave. Beyond that, you're cleared."

I nodded, said my thanks, and left.

When I reemerged I saw that Caleb still wasn't done yet. It made sense, given that he was in worse shape than me. I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to hang onto him a little longer, despite the fact that I was sure both he and Brewer were eager to be reunited. I thought maybe that would buy me an extra day or two. I wasn't feeling up to snuff at the moment. Far from it.

Ethan approached when he saw me leave, and pointed to a bench down the hall where a fresh set of fatigues, undergarments, boots, soap and a towel were neatly laid out.

"Female head is that way. Come see me when you're done and we'll get you fed."

I glanced down at myself. I was starving, but I could see why the shower came first. I was covered in sweat, grime, and blood. And I probably reeked. "Thanks for not saying anything."

He lifted an eyebrow at me. "About what?"

"How I smell. I stopped being able to tell weeks ago. It all kind of blended together at some point, and I got used to it."

A small smile tugged at his lips. "There'll be time to jerk your chain about it later. I know now's _not_ the time. Go get cleaned up."

I found it all strange as I gathered up the clean clothes and fresh towel and went further into the corridor on my own. Ethan seemed different. More than when I'd seen him last two years ago. I wondered what had changed now, but it wasn't a thought that consumed me too much. I wanted it to; it was better than being consumed by some of the larger events crowding my brain - like the fact that I'd just been freed, but had had to kill someone to do it. That I couldn't stand entering my mind right now, so I thought of something else, more pleasant: my kids.

It hurt to think about them because I was so far away and knew it would be quite some time before I'd get to see them, but it was invigorating in a way, too. I'd fought and I'd survived and I'd escaped for them. I'd been through a lot of shit, but I hadn't left them without a parent. I was still here, and in a lot of ways, that was a victory itself.

As soon as I stripped down in the bathroom and stepped underneath the stream, though, I stopped thinking, and just enjoyed the sensation of the hot water soaking my skin. It was blessing to not have to deal with everything in my head right now and just focus on lathering myself up. I'd been afraid at first that the stream would trigger the fear in me from when I'd been repeatedly dunked in the water drum, but it didn't. The heat of _this_ water made me relax, and I only felt surges of adrenaline if I accidentally swallowed some as it poured over my head. So I tried my best to avoid that.

I came out of the shower feeling refreshed, and more like myself than I had in a long time. Somehow it seemed to put some distance between myself and everything that had happened the last few weeks, at least for now. I knew that wouldn't last, so I took the opportunity and dressed methodically, calmly, in my new battledress uniform and boots. After that I brushed back my wet hair and put it up in a bun to dry. I stopped in front of the mirror before I exited, looking and feeling like a human being again.

But then I saw the flicker of Daria's wide dead eyes off to the side in the reflection, and I screamed.

Once I realized it was just me, I stood there breathing heavily and kept looking at the mirror, wary of seeing her crop up again. She didn't.

It was all in my head. I understood that. But in the moment it'd seemed so real it'd scared me half to death.

I didn't even have any emotion left to feel embarrassed about it after. My heart just hammered inside my chest until I made myself take in deep, steady breaths, one at a time, and I'd calmed down again.

Thankfully, I'd been the only person within earshot.

* * *

"Well, well. You're looking - and smelling - a lot better. Ready to eat?"

I gave Ethan a look as I met him in the hallway. "Is that your not-so-subtle way of telling me there's only MREs?"

"Yup. How'd you guess?"

"My Marine intuition. Or, really, my experience in general."

Instead of replying Ethan just threw me a pack of the stuff, which I caught. "I keep telling the brass if we've got showers, a medbay, and actual _bunks_ , it's only fair we get a mess in one of these places, too, but it never happens."

Wasting no time, I tore the package open with my teeth. "Typical brass right there. If it makes sense, don't implement it."

He chuckled. "Very true."

We met up with the rest of his team members shortly and we all sat in one of the common rooms to eat. Everyone looked exhausted from the fighting, but seemed relieved at the outcome. Caleb was still in the medical bay; I made it a point to remember to go visit him as soon as I got some food in me. I wanted sleep even more, but that could wait until I saw for myself that my buddy was okay.

It felt strange sharing a first meal out with the people who'd saved us. There was so much I wanted to say to them, to express my gratitude, but I just didn't know how right now. I was down to being able to only handle the basics until I got some rest.

I ate fast and in big bites, and my ex noticed. He bumped my shoulder as he leisurely ate his food.

"Don't worry, Colonel. We're not going to take it away. You can take your time."

"I know," I said around a mouthful of food. I didn't feel the need to verbalize that I'd been deprived of this for quite a while. I was sure they all knew that.

Still, Ethan persisted.

"Here," he said, shoving his canteen in my face. "Drink some water, ma'am. Give your stomach a break, or you're just going to throw it all up later."

Wary of the drink, I took a look at it and shook my head before shoving another bite in my face. "I'm good."

"Just take a sip. A few at a time. I'm sure they didn't give you much to drink out there, either."

I snorted. "You'd be wrong," I muttered.

Ethan frowned at me, confused, and finally seemed about to back off. But instead, I watched out of the corner of my eye while I ate as he unscrewed the cap and tried to hand it over again, lidless.

"Seriously, Nat. You've got to drink."

"Actually, Commander, I don't have to do shit."

I stated it plainly, calmly, but Ethan looked taken aback.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked then, accusatory.

Something about his tone made my anger stir inside me. I literally felt my face grow hot and red and I just snapped.

"What's _wrong_ with me?!" I shouted, standing up fast and going over to grip the front of his jacket with both fists right where he sat. "Are you serious? Do you know what the _fuck_ I've just been through? Huh? No! _None!_ So _shut the_ _fuck up!_ "

My ex looked stunned but reacted fast, grabbing hold of my arms to stop whatever I might do next - which honestly, even I didn't know. It didn't hurt, but he held firm enough that I couldn't move them.

It took me a moment to realize the rest of the intelligence team was surrounding me now, too, albeit loosely. They all stood ready to intervene, waiting for Ethan's signal.

"Colonel, please," one of them said behind me. It was the female operative. "You've just gone through a terrible ordeal. We know that. We'll cut you some slack, but you need to let Commander Ackerson go now, ma'am."

It was like the words snapped me back to reality and I suddenly realized what I was doing. My eyes went wide and I instantly let go of him, taking several steps back.

I was so shocked I didn't even think to apologize. I just stood there, not really trusting myself at the moment.

"Shit," I finally breathed, and ran a hand over my put-up hair. "Shit..."

Even though I was still hungry and my half-eaten food sat in my box on the ground, I took in a breath and walked away.


	17. Chapter 16: Course Correction

**Chapter Sixteen: Course Correction**

I felt like an asshole as I limped down the hall. I didn't even know where I was going, just away. Trying to run from my strange behavior. It was like my body and mind were two separate entities now, no longer working in tandem but out of sync with each other. Another thing I had the rebels to thank for.

It didn't take me long to notice I was headed towards Lieutenant Lloyd's room inside the medbay. I wanted to check in on him and make sure he was okay, but Ethan stopped me just as I was about to go in.

"Natalie, you've both had a rough night. Seeing him all done up in a hospital bed isn't going to do you much good right now. Let him rest. You should, too."

"I know," I said, suddenly tearing up. "I know I should. It's just, he's the only one who went through that hell with me. He understands."

Ethan's expression softened and he gently reached for my arm. "Do you need a minute?"

I nodded, unable to speak, and he took me around the corner to an office. He ushered me inside and shut the door.

That's when I finally broke down and sobbed.

"Shh. It's okay. You're safe now," Ethan soothed. "No one will hurt you here. I promise."

The next thing I knew he was holding me in his arms. I leaned into him as I buried my face in his chest and just bawled my eyes out for what felt like a long time, but he never complained. It was quite some time before I finally got a hold of myself - and even then, I didn't let go. It seemed like ages since I'd felt safe and secure, and oddly, despite our history, I felt that with him now. He'd risked his life for mine more than once on Requiem, and Earth. Now he had here on Puget, too.

Finally he pulled back a bit to get a look at my face. "Feeling better yet?"

I let out something between a chuckle and a sob. "No. Not in the least."

"I know," he answered softly, pulling me close again. "You were right earlier. I can't imagine what you've been through. I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner."

"You didn't have to be a dick about the damn water."

"Yeah. I just didn't want you making yourself sick."

We stood there together until I got the uncomfortable feeling we were lingering. I pulled away then and finally went to stand closer to the wall with my back to it, arms folded across my chest. I stared down at my boots for a minute and then the table. Anywhere but up.

Ethan noticed how even my posture had changed and stepped in a little closer again, almost looming over me. His face became serious when he said, "Listen. You don't have to talk about what happened if you don't want to, but I just need to know one thing." He took in a breath and met my gaze. "Did they touch you?"

"No."

He looked relieved. "Okay. Good. That's all I ever need to know about it, if that's what you want."

I nodded but didn't say anything else. That was as far into what had occurred as I was going to go tonight. For now, I was exhausted and completely frazzled, not only from the ordeal and the rescue, but also because I really just needed some sleep. "I think I'm going to take your advice and call it a night. Today's been...overwhelming."

"All right. That's a good plan. I'll show you to your quarters."

Something in the way he said it made me pause – or perhaps it was my own interpretation. Whatever the case, it was something more on top of everything else that I just couldn't handle right now. I shook my head.

"Just tell me where I'm staying. I'll find it."

He was a good spook; his expression gave no indication that he was disappointed or put out with my response. "It's right after the medbay. First door on your left. We have guards posted inside the facility and out twenty-four-seven, so you don't need to worry. You'll get a good night's rest here."

"And tomorrow?" I asked uncertainly.

Ethan released a sigh. "I don't know yet. We'll figure that out then."

That was fine with me. I gave a slight nod before I turned to go, and then I was on my way.

* * *

Inside my quarters it was quiet. For once it was nice – I shut the door behind me and finally had a moment to collect myself after the whirlwind of activity the last few hours. First there was the rescue attempt itself, then killing Daria with two shots to the chest, then making our heart-pounding race to the Pelican for extraction. And the flight here. And nearly…doing something bad to Ethan. Maybe punch him, for a few simple words he'd said.

I stood with my back to the door after I shut it and closed my eyes, concentrating on breathing slowly, in and out. Even in the silence and calm of the room I felt like my mind was racing, and I knew I'd never get to sleep if that were the case. And I desperately needed rest.

The moment of zen seemed to help. When I felt centered enough, I walked up to the bunk and stared down at it as I started to undress. I hadn't seen a real bed in what felt like ages – probably since getting off the transport ship we'd used to come here. I realized then that Ethan had been right aboard the Pelican earlier. I did have a lot of questions, about a lot of different things. But they'd all have to wait for later. Right now, I just wanted peace.

After pulling off my socks, boots, and jacket, I unzipped the fly on my battledress pants and crawled under the covers. The soft warmth of the bed enveloped me, and it made me feel as close to at ease as I was presently bound to get, on a foreign world by myself under harrowing circumstances. Wearing only my T-shirt and underwear now, I flipped over onto my stomach and shoved my head into the pillow, and I was carried off to sleep in record time.

* * *

Not much seemed different in the morning, but it was a new start.

I wasn't sure what sort of miracle my subconscious had pulled off, but I wasn't plagued by nightmares the entire night. I'd been expecting them for sure, especially given what had happened with the rebel I'd personally placed in the afterlife, but through a combination of cosmic mercy and extreme fatigue, I'd made it through without any hang-ups. For that I was grateful, and it made for a slightly easier morning than the previous night.

The problem now was that I didn't want to get out of bed. It was the only thing that had felt comfortable to me in a very long time, and being able to fall asleep without my boots and everything else on had been a perk I'd often taken for granted until I'd spent weeks unable to do it. I laid there under the covers for probably close to an hour after waking up, unwilling to face the world and my duties and responsibilities just yet. I might've even stayed there longer, if it hadn't been for the knock at my door.

"Natalie? Are you okay? You're not still asleep, are you?"

"No," I mumbled, my reply muffled thanks to the pillow in my face. "I'm just...not coming out."

"Okay. Then I'm coming in."

Ethan stepped inside the room before I could protest, and once there, he stood by the door, arms folded across his chest.

"You know, for a colonel, you sure have your fair share of bad habits."

"Oh, really? I'm not allowed to sleep in the day after I get liberated from a rebel _jail_?"

"I wasn't talking about that. I meant what got you in there in the first place." He let out a sigh. "I was told about the ambush. How you weren't where you were supposed to be that night...which was safely inside the command tent. Why do you do that to yourself?"

"Do what?"

"Put yourself in danger like that? You don't have to. And it's certainly _not_ part of the job description anymore at your rank."

"You know exactly why, Ethan. And I'm not going to go over this with you right now, either. Let me get dressed first."

His rich brown eyes gleamed. "Sure. I'll wait."

"I meant _get out_."

I finally sat up with the covers up to my waist and ran a hand through my hair while he left. I waited for the latch to catch and then I got up slowly, pausing at the edge of the bed to hold my head in my hands. It was too early and too much.

And there was still a lot I didn't know that I wanted answers to. Like why Ethan had vanished after Savannah, back on Earth. Why he was here. And in the back of my mind...if what Laraza had said to me in captivity was true. If the government I served - and my husband, and my dead best friends, and my family, and my ex - was really that morally bankrupt. I hoped not, but as I'd come to find out the night before, sometimes all it took to push the needle from good to bad was otherwise insurmountable odds.

My decision to do what I'd done yesterday had been far from simple. But boil it down to the basics, and in the end, I'd killed Daria because _I'd_ wanted to live. It had to be one or the other. And as I'd thought of my family who might lose me, or the ONI operatives coming up behind me who might get hurt, I'd known it had to be her.

Not that it made the choice any easier to live with.

"Hey! You getting dressed or what?"

It was Ethan again from outside the door. Jesus, he could be insufferable in the best of times, but after a crisis, he was even worse.

"Give me a damn minute!" I shouted back, and that shut him up. Maybe he was afraid of me going off on him again. If he was, it seemed a very odd role reversal for us.

I pulled on my missing articles of clothing quickly, then reopened the door for him, making a sweeping gesture that he step back inside. Instead, though, he shook his head.

"I thought we'd get some coffee and a bite and head out. We've got a lot to go over."

I made a face. "Outside? In the perpetual _blizzard_?"

He smirked. "Why not? I heard it's going to get up to negative fifty today. Pretty balmy. Plus I figured you might like seeing the outdoors again."'

Well, he had a point. I didn't really care how cold it was outside, so long as there was fresh air and wind. I hadn't felt either in weeks before last night.

"All right. Let's get the coffee and food first. And I'm going to be wanting more than a ski mask and gloves, by the way."

"I'll do you one better," he said, and pointed down the hall. "We're going out to the OP we have set up. It's quiet, close by, and heated."

"Done."

* * *

Puget was miserable not only because it was frigid, but also because it had three suns - only they were all way too far away to provide much heat. They did provide ample light, however, and seemed to taunt us up in the bright morning sky, there but not helping much with the temperature.

Still, it'd been among the most beautiful starts to a day I'd seen since I'd been here. I was finally free.

"You've gone quiet again," Ethan observed as we walked.

I shrugged. "Just taking it all in, I guess." And it was true. I was. The crisp air, the beaming sunlight, the wispy clouds in the sky and the cold snow underfoot. It all felt great after living in a chair and a cramped cell for a while.

Which brought me to my first question.

"How long were we gone?" I asked.

"Almost three weeks."

"Jesus." It seemed about what I'd been able to calculate, but it'd definitely felt like a lot longer at times.

My ex shook his head at himself. "I know. We should've found you and Lloyd faster. But after they picked you up it was like you just poofed. Mark said he tried everything to find you before he contacted us. We didn't really hit a breakthrough until a few days ago. You guys'd been taken pretty far from where you started."

I took in all of what he said except one thing. "Mark? You mean my brother?"

"Mark Cooper. That's the one."

"When did you talk to him?"

"Probably a couple weeks ago the first time. Apparently Willis called him in a panic when he found out you were missing."

" _Shit._ " Willis knew I'd been captured, then. I felt terrible thinking how much he must've worried about me during my captivity. He probably still did. I just hoped he hadn't told the kids. "Does he know about the rescue op last night?"

Ethan shook his head again. "No. You know we can't give out that kind of information beforehand, Nat. Especially not to family. Too many high hopes." He turned then and met my gaze. "Not that I would've let anything else happen to you, but just...as a precaution."

I nodded slowly. "So...he doesn't know it was you my brother called in?"

"No."

I swallowed. That was not going to go over well when he found out, but I had way more awful things on my plate than that. Right now, I just missed him. "Will I get to call him before we leave?"

"If you want, the option's there." He took in a deep breath and continued, "But honestly, I think for you and Caleb both, you should sit tight here for a few days. You've both been through a lot. I don't think a return to combat right away is the best solution."

"You mean because of my outburst yesterday," I said.

"I _mean_ because you've been interred for the last eighteen days. Do you really already want to go back?"

I huffed out a sigh, exasperated. "What choice do I have, Ethan? Huh? Tell me. I'm here, I'm alive, and I have a duty. I have to get back to my Marines."

"Maybe, but not yet."

" _Why_ is it just you calling the shots all of a sudden? I may be screwed up, and I'm not intel, but I _do_ outrank you still, Commander."

At that Ethan chuckled, but without much humor. "Far be it from me to tell you what to do, Cooper. It's only my suggestion. You're free to decide for yourself, but let me just say you're not doing yourself or _them_ any favors going back before you're ready. Unless you want everyone dealing with your sudden mood swings, and potentially not being able to perform."

Now I was livid. "They're _not_ mood swings, you - !"

"Hey, hey, relax," he said, stopping in the snow to hold up his hands. "I didn't mean it like that. From what I gather, it's a common reaction amongst former POWs. The anger. The crying. The fear. I get it."

His words were meant to soothe, but they didn't. Instead, they lit a fire in me that I hadn't had before - at least not to this degree. And it burned hot.

"You don't get shit!" I yelled. "I watched my men _die_ for me, repeatedly, while I was violently knocked out! I had my head shoved underwater until I felt like my lungs were going to burst, for _hours_! And yesterday, I _killed_ someone, Ethan! Not a Covie, not a Flood, not a Promethean, but a fucking human being! So keep telling me that you _understand_. You don't!"

I got all the words out in a rush, again without much input from my brain, and without a filter. It all just came tumbling out, and now that it was over, I found myself standing there, trembling. I was shaking like a leaf and I was mad as hell and consumed with sorrow all at once, and I felt tears coming to my eyes for the millionth time in less than twelve hours. And once again, it was Ethan who stepped in to help, even though he'd been the cause. Both times.

"Fuck, Natalie," he said roughly as he held me again. "I didn't know. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I held onto him too this time, to keep from completely unraveling. It'd been an awful night, although I'd been freed, and the decent start to the day was now shot. This wasn't going to be something I recovered from quickly, I realized then. This was something that was going to keep cropping up and invading my life, even as I tried my best to try to move past it. I couldn't, at least not yet.

Right now, all I could focus on was moving _through_ it - and hope it didn't take all of me with it by the time it was done.


	18. Chapter 17: Awaiting News

**Chapter Seventeen: Awaiting News**

 **0433 Hours, October 31, 2560. Cooper-Hawk Residence, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Hope," Inner Colonies. Day Twelve of the Dark Side of the World**

Willis was utterly exhausted.

The last two nights he'd taken to sleeping lightly near his youngest son's room because the kid just refused to catch any zees. He had a bad cold and was up wailing at all hours, often waking up the twins and Gabriel with his crying, so to allow the other children their sleep, Hawk only dozed so that he could soothe their younger brother before he woke the whole house. It'd been trying and would've been a little bit on the insane side under normal circumstances, but with Natalie not only gone but also missing, it became a hectic nightmare. He'd had minimal amounts sleep and was expected to be up at 0600 each morning, presentable and in uniform for his air wing. His emergency leave had run out a while ago.

All this on top of anxiously waiting for any updates on his wife's whereabouts. It was beyond rough.

Finally, though, he got the call early one morning, just as he was about to nod off again on top of the sheets on their bed.

The buzz by his head woke him, and he hurried to get up and turn it off before Logan heard. "Hello? This is Major Hawk."

"Willis, it's Mark. We've found her."

An instant rush of relief went through him, so much so that he almost felt dizzy. "You did? Where is she? Is she okay?"

"Natalie's alive and doing...reasonably well. I just spoke with the team on the ground, and they say she's a little battered and bruised. She also got shot in her left calf, but medical checked it out and it seems to be healing. No broken bones. Overall, she's got a good prognosis."

Willis nodded, still trying to make it to full alertness as he sat up in his and Cooper's bedroom. Emotion got the better of him and he had to swallow before speaking again. "What about...do we know yet what happened to her in there?"

"Beyond what's been reported by medical, not really," her older brother answered. "We won't really know for sure until she and Lieutenant Lloyd are debriefed."

"And when's that going to happen?"

"Probably not yet. Maybe in a day or two. We don't want to overwhelm either of them after what they've just been through."

Willis nodded. "Makes sense. When will I be able to talk to her? Can I call her?"

"I'm sure some sort of communication can be arranged. She'd have to contact you, though. She's currently at a secure ONI facility on-planet, recuperating."

The major breathed a sigh of relief. "So they didn't just throw her back out in the field right away. That's good."

"Nope. We take care of our own, Willis. That goes double for my sister."

"What about the team that got her out? I'd like to thank them for saving Natalie."

Mark paused before answering. "You might not like this part, but they were the only team available in the local star system, and they're among the best. Ethan was their team leader. I'm sure you remember him from school way back when...and that he dated my sister before you."

For a moment Willis had to mute the call as he let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand over his hair. Of all the frickin' people in a big wide universe, of course it had to be him. He hoped Ethan had kept his distance from his wife this time. The last time they'd met, Willis had fought him to make sure he knew to back off.

"Willis? You still there?"

"Yeah," he ground out. "I'm grateful to his team for the rescue. I just don't appreciate it being him."

Mark actually laughed on the other end, and it was all Willis could do to keep quiet. The older Cooper still had no idea, after all these years, about what Natalie's ex-boyfriend had done to her in high school. Willis supposed Mark could be forgiven for that, because otherwise he wouldn't be so nonchalant about the whole thing. If ever he'd known, Ethan would've been beaten up twice for what he'd done to his little sister.

"Hey, man, relax," Mark finally said when he was done laughing. "Their story was long before you two, many, many years ago. My sister loves you like crazy. Always has. So no need to get bent out of shape. Just be glad she's okay. She's in good hands now, Willis."

In some ways, that was exactly what Willis was afraid of. He trusted his wife without question - but back on Earth, Ethan had once again proven he was a dirtbag, constantly bent on either breaking them apart or trying to steer Cooper away. Natalie knew better but Ethan didn't, and Hawk had to admit that despite it all he'd felt threatened by the closeness they seemed to have developed during their time on Requiem, and later groundside on Earth. And after going through something so terrible like what Natalie just had experienced...he knew emotions were likely running high.

And he was too far away to do anything about it.

He didn't like the circumstances one bit, but realized he had no choice or say in the matter. He just had to continue trusting Natalie, and he would. He tried his best to push all other thoughts aside for now and focused on the fact that she was alive, and safe.

Finally he took a deep breath and said, "Thanks for letting me know, Mark. I appreciate the call, and I'll wait to hear from her." He paused, then added, "If you get a chance to talk to her before me, tell her I love her, and that I'm glad she's okay." He swallowed again. "And that the kids all miss her, and I wish I was there for her right now."

"Sure thing, Willis. Hope this'll make your morning a little easier. I know it's real early out there for you."

"Yeah, it will. Thanks."

With that he ended the call and placed his datapad back on the nightstand beside him. He leaned back against his pillow for a moment and shut his eyes tight, pinching the bridge of his nose. Natalie was okay - it was fantastic news. But the fact that it had been Ethan who'd saved her was not, and he had to admit that he was worried about their connection.

 _Stop,_ he suddenly thought to himself, opening his eyes again. _Just stop. Natalie loves you and would never do that to you. She's alive and she's free. That's all you need to focus on right now._

Well, that and the kids, as he learned when he heard Logan's crying again. He immediately got up and went into his youngest son's room, pulling him up from his crib and holding him close. It was then that Willis finally smiled.

"Hey, little buddy, guess what," he said softly as he rocked him. "They found your mom. And she's going to be just fine."

Logan seemed to calm down a bit in his dad's arms, so Willis continued speaking to him in a low voice.

"She's far away right now and was in a lot of danger, but she's safe now. I know she misses you and loves you very much. Just like your brothers and sister."

That made him think of Gabriel, and the major almost went into his oldest son's room as well to wake him up and tell him the good news. But with only a few hours to go until he needed to be up for school, Hawk figured it could wait. It'd be a nice surprise for their firstborn when he awoke.


	19. Chapter 18: Destabilized

**Chapter Eighteen: Destabilized**

 ** ** ** ** **1016 Hours, October 31, 2560. ONI Black Site FARCOM 5, ** **Planet Puget****. "The Patrol," Outer Colonies. Day Twelve of the Dark Side of the World**********

The OP was quiet, which was probably what I liked most about it. I sat inside on the heated floor, opposite Ethan, with my back propped up against the wall as we ate from our breakfast MREs. Normally it was just as awful as it sounded, but after living with very little food over the past few weeks, it tasted great to me.

When we'd first entered I'd tried not to stare so much at the rack of rifles on the far wall. It made me wary about the security around here, but Ethan assured me that ONI had left no stone unturned.

"Don't worry. We've got automated turrets positioned fifty meters ahead, and sensors all around the perimeter. If anything so much as sneezes in our direction, we'll know well beforehand." He made it a point to look me in the eyes. "Nothing's going to come grab you here."

I snorted as I looked back down at my food. "I wish the 52nd had that kind of tech. Us regulars are always last to get the good stuff. First comes you guys, the spooks, then the Helljumpers, and then...the rest of us."

Ethan grinned faintly. "That's the Marine Corps hierarchy, Natalie. If you wanted better gear, you should've joined the ODSTs." He glanced up from his meal and lifted his chin at me. "Why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?"

"Join the jumpers. You've got the daring for it."

"Have we met? I hate ships. Always have. Can't stand being _inside_ one, so I'm definitely not jumping _out_ of one, either." I swallowed a bite of food and my throat felt dry, but I ignored it. "I like my boots on solid ground, thanks. No drop pods for me."

"That makes two of us, but sometimes I don't get a choice." Finished with his meal, he set his box aside and took a swig from his canteen before returning his attention to me. "So? Should we talk about why we're really here?"

"What's that?" I asked around a mouthful of food.

"Come on. I know you're dying to know how I came to rescue you. And where I've been."

"Right. I was just held hostage for eighteen days and I killed my first human, but yes, I'm just _dying_ to know all about _you_."

He smirked, the amusement lighting up his eyes. "Thought so." Then he momentarily sobered. "But honestly, I just thought it might take your mind off things to talk about something else for a while."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're being awfully nice and understanding to me, you know, considering how we left things a couple years ago."

"Let's see. I tried to kiss you, and you slapped me and your husband beat me up. Is that not a good place to leave things?"

"Ah, no," I said. I tried not to smirk but failed. "And I hear he did a number on your family jewels."

"My _jewels_ are fine, thank you very much. I just had to ice them for a week."

I wanted to snicker, and maybe under other circumstances I would have, but for now, a small grin was the best thing I could muster. It didn't last long and once it faded, I sighed again. "Do you think I'll ever go back to normal again? And not feel this...fear and anger and hurt every day?"

"I don't know." He gave me a sideways glance. "That's why you freaked out on me about the water last night, huh? Because of what they did to you."

He'd said I didn't have to answer if I didn't want to, but I saw no reason to keep it from him. I slowly nodded.

"Yeah. It was...not good. They tried very hard to nearly drown me, more than once." I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "That wasn't the worst part, though. One night they got frustrated that I wouldn't say anything, so they locked me up in a room and made me watch my detail die, over and over and over again, while I was getting beat up in the background. They played the clip of me and Caleb getting captured on a loop. I couldn't look away...couldn't sleep..."

"Shit, Natalie." His expression went from curious to stern in less than a second. "And I tried to force you to drink."

"It's okay," I said softly. "Like you said, you didn't know."

"Still, I - " He turned away for a second and ran a hand down his face. "I should have handled that better."

I could say the same thing about myself. He seemed very affected by what I'd gone through, and how I reacted to things in light of that. It made me curious, so I finally asked him what I'd been wondering.

"All right. You've been prodding and I want to know. What the hell happened to you in Savannah? And how did you end up here?"

Ethan didn't reply right away. While I waited, I set my food aside for now and stretched out my bad leg in front of me, feeling only a dull throbbing in my calf thanks to the painkillers I'd been given in the medbay. Hopefully soon I wouldn't have to hobble around anymore.

"Well, it shouldn't surprise you to know that Georgia was an awkward affair for me," he finally responded. "Mostly for the reasons I just mentioned. But also because you weren't talking to me, and we somehow still had to work together, and I found out you were pregnant. So I figured there was no use imposing myself further on the situation." He shrugged. "As soon as the battle was over, I left. I asked ONI for a new assignment and got one, and thought you'd be better off not knowing."

I gave him a look from across the narrow space. In some ways, I was grateful for that. I'd needed the space and things had gotten a little crazy once the fighting was over. In others...I'd wondered where he'd ended up. "You left without saying a word to anyone. I thought something was wrong."

My ex's expression changed slightly, but beyond that, his face was unreadable. Must've been that ONI training at work again. It made it frustrating to try to have a conversation with him. "Nope. Just wanted a change of scenery." Then he sighed and smiled a little. "But eventually I ended up here and ran into you anyway."

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to take that, but I didn't get a chance to ask. Just then an alarm went off, and Ethan sprung into action, standing at once to check on the OP's boards.

"Shit. We've got incoming."

Terror suddenly gripped my insides and I froze - definitely not a reaction I was used to having when combat was imminent. I'd just been through the closest earthly version of hell though, and I wasn't itching to go back. Ever. The idea that someone might be here to capture me again truly scared me shitless.

Ethan was surprisingly patient with me, however, and gently pulled me up. "Remember, we've got turrets and sensors. You're safe." He nodded to the gun rack and added, "And if all else fails, we've got half a dozen rifles behind us. Go grab one."

Somehow I pushed though my own fear and uncertainty and made my way across the room, walking up to the rack. When I reached for one of the MA5Ds, however, I found I couldn't pull it out.

"Ethan. They're locked."

He quietly cursed as he kept his eyes on the holoscreen in front of him, tracking the enemy. "Input the code on the left. Three-three-seven-five-eight-zero."

I did as he said and heard a click. A second later I held the hefty weight of an assault rifle in my hands, and I felt a lot better. "So what's the scoop? Where are they coming from?"

"They're straight ahead, twelve o'clock," he answered. Now that I was standing beside him with the gun, he moved back to grab one of the assault rifles, too. "You following them on the screen?"

"Yeah. Doesn't look like too many of them. Probably just a patrol."

Ethan nodded again. "I thought the same, but we still don't want them finding out about this place. We need to steer them away."

I lifted an eyebrow at him for the second time. "And how do you propose we do that?"

"Lead them away ourselves, of course. If they get in range of the turrets and the machines open fire, they've got us pegged." He checked the load on his rifle and readied himself. "You stay put. I'll do it."

"Like hell. I'm coming with you."

"Not advised."

"It's a good thing I'm in charge, then. Move it."

I could tell Ethan wasn't convinced, but he didn't try to fight me about it. Instead he pressed his palm against the door to the OP and it hissed open, letting in all the frigid air outside. I shivered and momentarily wished I _had_ stayed inside, but not for long. Bringing my gun up, I spotted the enemy, still too far away to fire at or see well, but I could tell by their bulky silhouettes that they were armed.

Beside me, Ethan slung his MA5D behind his back and pulled out his field binoculars.

"Well?" I asked, impatient.

"Looks like a patrol, just like you said," he replied. "But something's up. They look way too well-armed to just be out for a stroll."

My pulse skyrocketed. "You think they're looking for us?"

"No. I think they're looking for this facility. Something's tipped them off."

I didn't like the sound of that. The last thing I wanted was this bastion of security to get overrun, too. However much I didn't want to admit it to myself, I needed this time to recover - in whatever way or shape I could before returning to my Marines. And my brain was still too muddled up to think of something to do about this myself.

"What options do we have?"

"Not many if they're already nosing around. We need to make them think we're somewhere else. Maybe it won't get them off our scent, but it'll buy us some time."

"How - ?"

I'd barely gotten the single word out when Ethan burst into motion, holding his gun close to his chest as he sprinted across the snowy landscape. Thankfully this morning he was wearing lighter-colored BDUs, patterned in light gray and white instead of the darker standard ONI ones. I was, too, and it helped to blend in with the scenery in the crisp morning. I knew that would change later in the day, but for now, we could move relatively unseen.

There was just one problem - my leg. Even with the painkillers I couldn't flat-out run on it. It entered my mind almost immediately that he'd done this on purpose to leave me behind, and I was left hobbling after him, upset.

After a few minutes of walking and squinting up ahead to see if I could track him, I realized I'd lost him. It was a testament to his skill as a spook, because I could definitely still see the rebel patrol far ahead. Just the sight made me uneasy, but I tried to power through it as best I could.

Eventually trudging through the snow and holding the weight of a rifle again, given my weakness and exhaustion from the ordeal, proved too much. I suddenly stopped in my tracks and just fell back on my ass in the plush snow, breathing heavy and tired - and I didn't even have any of my usual extra gear on me. I finally had to admit that I had no choice but to leave this particular excursion to my ex. I knew for sure I wasn't going to spot Ethan again until he was ready to show himself, so after a quick rest I got up and slowly made my way back to the observation post. To sit and wait some more.

I was angry, though. I wasn't used to being relegated to this - a helpless observer waiting to see how something turned out. Being benched. Usually, _I_ was the one out there influencing events myself. Maybe I was too hurt, too fatigued, and too torn up inside right now to function at my full potential, but I still wanted to help.

* * *

"What the _hell_ was that?" I demanded when he finally returned twenty minutes later.

He blinked at me as he pulled off his ski mask once he was inside. "What the hell was what?"

"That shit you just pulled with me out there. I was coming _with_ you to help. I think I was pretty damn clear about that. Why did you just take off?"

He looked me up and down and snorted. "I believe the answer to that is _pretty damn clear_ , too." He moved past me to set his rifle back on the rack, then returned his attention to me. "You're in no condition to be out there yet, Cooper. I know your leg's still hurt. You were only going to slow me down, and I needed to get rid of those guys fast."

"I _said_ I had it!"

"Yeah. Like you had those rebels that captured you?"

He came up to my face to say it, narrowing his eyes at me, and I exploded.

"There he is," I said with a firm nod of my head. "Underneath all that shiny new softness is the same old fucking Ethan. Always an ass."

He grit his teeth, neither of us backing down.

"That's not what this is about, Natalie. This is about keeping this facility from being compromised. And keeping _you_ safe in the process, by the way. So you're welcome. _Again_."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means I saved your life at least twice the last time we fought together. And now this time from the rebs."

"So?"

 _"So?"_ he answered in disgust. "Why don't you figure that one out."

With that, he walked away towards the holotable, not sparing me another glance. I couldn't be sure, but he almost sounded hurt. Even more puzzling was the fact that I cared.

He'd shit on me thoroughly in the past. Wasn't I owed some grand gesture of apology - like saving my life, even multiple times - just out of remorse? Did it need to mean something else for him?

At the moment I was just too mad to analyze that. And even more confused.

Maybe I wouldn't ever know. But I had a few more days left in this place to figure it out.


	20. Chapter 19: Not At Ease

**Chapter Nineteen: Not At Ease**

 ** ** ** ** **0832 Hours, November 3, 2560. ONI Black Site FARCOM 5, ** **Planet Puget****. "The Visit," Outer Colonies. Day Fifteen of the Dark Side of the World**********

"Hey, Cal. How're you doing?"

I stepped inside his room in the medbay and walked up to him, trying not to impede the orderly hovering around him. Lieutenant Lloyd was awake and sitting up today, eating his morning meal from his tray on his own. That was good. However, he still had a number of tubes going in and out of him, along with a big, ugly bruise peeking out of his bandaged chest and shoulder on his right side, where he'd taken a hit.

It infuriated me to see him like that, and knowing at least a little of what they'd done to him while we'd been captured when he'd already been wounded pretty badly. It was a miracle he was even alive, and yet despite patching him up, they'd still mistreated him. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but it made me glad people like Garrett and Daria were dead. Anyone who'd done something like this to fellow humans deserved exactly what they got.

Yet I still felt uncomfortable knowing I'd caused one of their deaths. It was a puzzling contradiction I hadn't yet resolved within myself, and I wasn't sure if I would.

Caleb perked up a bit when he saw me and gave a slight nod. "Ma'am. I'm doing all right. Not quite ready to go yet, but...soon."

It didn't really seem like he'd be ready soon, but I didn't mention it. The other bruise around his left eye had yellowed now, and there was still evidence of the old cut on his forehand, too - both of which Garrett had inflicted on him during our time with the rebels. I honestly couldn't think of anyone more deserving of being shot in the head. But I quickly shook the thought aside.

I gave a small smile in return. "I feel like that most days. Getting better, bit by bit, but not there yet."

The orderly finished getting Caleb's IV tubes squared away and then got my attention.

"Colonel, I'll be back a little later to check in on things. You can stay as long as you'd like."

"Thank you, Petty Officer."

He nodded and left, and it was then that I finally let out a sigh.

"Okay. He's gone now, so no bullshit - how are you...dealing with all this?"

The lieutenant attempted to shrug as he ate but didn't quite manage. "I don't know, ma'am. Not...good, but I'm trying."

"Sounds about right."

"You?"

"Me? To be honest, I'm a mess." I sat down in the chair next to him and looked straight ahead at the wall before returning my attention to him. "It's like I can't keep things straight in my head anymore. I just feel angry. A lot. The other day I flipped out on Commander Ackerson over something small, and when I heard there were rebels around, I...froze up." I took in a deep breath. "I can't believe I got scared, but I did. And the meds for the nightmares are helping, but the rest of this...not as much."

"We were there for a while," he said quietly, putting down his fork.

"Yeah."

"Almost feels surreal to be here now. All this comfort is...overwhelming. So's not feeling pain."

I gave something between a snort and a chuckle. "Never thought I'd be so uneasy about nice amenities."

"Yes, ma'am. But I got some help, and that made me feel better about things."

"How?"

"I called my dad and my sister yesterday." A smile finally appeared on his face. "It was really good to see them. Grace said she wished she could've been there at the rescue so she could've killed every last one of the bastards who'd hurt her little brother. My father said something similar."

I smirked. "I think both our families feel that way. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to mine yet."

"You should. I wasn't sure about it at first, but it boosted my spirits. More than I had when we first arrived." Then he sobered. "My dad, though...he got really angry, too." Our eyes met. "You remember I told you back on Khan about his own internment with the Innies. He was pretty upset the same damn thing happened to me. I think he felt like he'd failed me somehow, even though it was in no way his fault. _That_ part made me feel worse."

Looking down at the ground now, I nodded in understanding. "I know you're a good dad to Alexis because Dani tells me all the time, but I think you'll fully realize what that feels like once you have your own kids. You don't want anything bad to happen to them, ever, and this was something so...horrific that he experienced, and now you, that he wouldn't ever want you to know about or feel. It's devastating when it happens to you, but so much worse when you've been through something like this and know your kid had to endure it, too."

"Yeah. I guess we're all just...trying our best to come to terms with it and deal."

"That's exactly right."

The words came out softly and I again thought of Willis. As hard as things had been for Cal and I in captivity, I knew it had affected Willis as well, knowing I was trapped in enemy hands and not being able to get me out. It was a personal trauma and a family one all at once, and again I prayed that our kids knew nothing about it, for that very reason. And as much as I missed and loved all of them, I wondered how the hell I was going to come back from this and explain the terror and pain and anguished hopelessness I'd experienced.

I'd managed it with Ethan, but being ONI I knew he'd encountered these things before. Caleb, too, because he'd gone through it all with me. But someone else, who had no idea about the depths of cruelty the human race was capable of? I knew Willis, and I just didn't see him ever being able to go to a place mentally where he believed this about people, unless he experienced it himself.

Just like me. That's what it had taken for me to understand exactly what Hayden had been trying to tell me all along on Khan.

I was startled out of my thoughts when I felt Caleb reach for my hand and squeeze it.

"Colonel. It'll be okay. We'll make it through this." He swallowed as he let go again, and I knew he was struggling with his own emotions with what had occurred, too. "You know what I think about when things get dark? Alexis's smile. Her voice, calling me Dad. And her mother, who I love so much and can't wait to see."

A lump formed in my throat now, but my eyes didn't prick up anymore like they had been. I think I was all cried out on that front, but I still felt the feelings. "Just a few more days, Cal, and you and Dani will be reunited."

He smiled this time. "Yeah. I like to think that's what's spurring my recovery." Then he looked saddened as he faced me again. "I'm sorry your family's so far away. There's nothing for you to look forward to."

I shrugged, although I felt a sharp stab of pain at his words deep in my heart. "There is. I get to see my Marines again."

For now, that would have to be enough.

* * *

Since the morning had been equal parts emotionally draining and numbing, I thought it was the perfect excuse to head for the facility's gym. I'd been attending every day now, trying to get my strength back up after being held prisoner for so long with little food. The combination of eating more and exercising more, along with getting a good night's sleep each night, was already helping, just three days in. I felt less fatigued and had more energy, though there was a long way to go yet to get back into the shape I'd been before. I'd lost weight and was weaker, but I hoped even a short regimen like this would boost me up again.

And I needed to be back up to par quickly, because each day I lingered was another one my regiment was without me. I wanted to get back.

It was also helpful for me mentally, because I didn't think so much when I was working out, and I had something good to channel all my anger and hurt into. It helped fuel me along with food, and soon, I was lost sweating it out on the elliptical - better for my wounded leg - as I gazed out the large concealed window to the outside.

"Nice view, isn't it?"

I didn't stop moving as I turned, coming face-to-face with Ethan. He was dressed in PTs as well and took up on the treadmill beside me, pumping it up to the highest setting from the start. He had his shirt on but I could see the hard muscles of his arms flexing as he ran beside me, and it got a little distracting.

"You're talking about the snow outside, right?" I asked, out of breath.

He laughed. "Yes. Did you think I meant something else?"

"No, I just...nevermind."

He raised an eyebrow at me, still smirking. "Should I move a few machines down?"

"No," I said firmly, looking straight ahead. "It's fine."

"Good," he replied, and his expression became more serious. "Then I've got a couple pieces of news for you to consider."

"All right. Shoot."

"First one's this: I've gotten you access to our COMs systems now. You and Lloyd both, actually."

"I heard. I went and saw him this morning. He's still banged up but he was sitting up and doing things on his own, so I think he's getting better."

Ethan nodded as he ran. "That's good. That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"What?"

He carefully kept his own gaze straight ahead, too, as he answered. "I spoke with Major General Bolowsky on Mars earlier. He said given your ordeal, you and the lieutenant can opt to go home rather than return to your unit once you're well enough."

In my surprise I nearly missed a rotation and tumbled forward. I quickly slowed down the pace to something I could handle even when my mind was abuzz and repeated, "What?"

"You heard me. You've got a ticket back now if you want it. You can go to Mars and see your family, and as far as you're concerned, the mission will be over for you."

At that point I had to completely stop. I put my hands on my hips and focused on taking in one deep breath at a time, still breathing heavy from the exertion. I glanced down and blinked a few times, fully considering whether or not I should quit.

Being able to see my family again was what I wanted most in the world. It would've been amazing a month ago. Now, I still wanted to see them and missed them all terribly, but I was different. I had a young son at home who was not even a year and a half old yet. I hated to admit it, but I wasn't sure what that would mean for me given my current volatile state. I didn't want my kids or my husband to see me that way.

And we still had a duty to perform here. As much as I wanted to be home - I'd never wanted to leave on this deployment in the first place - I couldn't let my regiment down. What would that do to morale if their leader just _left_?

"Natalie?" Ethan asked, stepping off his own machine now to look at me. "You okay? I thought you'd be happy about this."

"I am, I just..." I ran a towel over my face, sweaty now from the workout. "I need some time to think this through."

"Sure thing. You've got as long as you're here recuperating to decide. But we need to know fairly soon. Otherwise we'll have to prep Major Brewer to take over."

I nodded, although I was still a little out of it. "I understand. I'm uh...I need a minute."

Ethan flipped a thumb back to his machine. "Well, I'm going to get back to it. Let me know when you've made your choice. Like I said, no rush."

 _Right,_ I thought to myself. _And no pressure, either._


	21. Chapter 20: Code Red

**Chapter Twenty: Code Red**

I sat on the bed in my quarters in a UNSC-MC T-shirt and sweats, looking over my datapad. There wasn't anything in particular I was doing on it, more like mindlessly wasting time in the calm and quiet of the room. It was then I heard a soft knock on the door.

Getting up from my bunk with a frown, I went to open it and was startled to find Ethan standing there.

"Hi," I said, giving him a curious look. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to drop in and see how things were. You okay?"

I shrugged. "Can't complain, I guess." Then I let out a nervous chuckle. "Feels like I've done enough of that these days."

"You're entitled, Cooper. You've been through a lot." He looked past me and seemed to hesitate. "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

I thought he'd want to talk, maybe about the fight we'd had in the OP the other day, which we hadn't so much resolved as silently agreed to move past. I still didn't know what he'd meant by his words, or what he expected of me...or this. Whatever this burgeoning attraction between us turned out to be. I felt the pull between us as soon as he came in - and when our gazes met, it seemed like he knew what I was thinking, and the air got thick.

He moved closer until he was inches from my face, both of us standing together, and I looked into the depths of his rich brown eyes. I saw the longing there. For me.

"Ethan, we can't - " I started, but in one slow movement he was running his thumb over my bottom lip, and I shivered. He leaned in and my pulse spiked, not knowing how to react to his closeness, but I didn't need to worry. He paused just before his lips touched mine.

"It's okay," he whispered softly, bringing his hand up against the side of my face now and into my hair. "I won't kiss you again unless you want me to." He almost laughed. "I learned my lesson last time. So...do you?"

I could hear the loud pounding of my heartbeat in my ears as I tried to breathe. It felt wrong but heady, and I found that I didn't even voice my eventual decision. I just leaned in the rest of the way, and things took off from there.

Ethan's arms were around me in an instant, and we kissed with a hunger and a fervor that must have been lying dormant all this time, because I'd never felt anything like it. Not with him. Maybe it'd been those two years apart, or my captivity, or something else, but it made me feel alive and wanted in a way that shut out all the heavy darkness from my time as a prisoner. _This_ was the only thing that would make it go away - albeit temporarily.

But I told myself that that was enough.

We were making out more furiously than we had as teenagers, back when we'd dated at sixteen. Now there was the promise of more to come, and I found myself grinning as he pinned me against the closed door, enjoying the feel of his body against mine. I pulled him closer by his belt loops and he slipped his hands under my shirt, bringing it up over my head before giving me a kiss so hard it left me breathless. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and -

And then I woke up.

* * *

It was a rude awakening to be sure. At first I was confused, as I leaned back against my pillow and stared at the ceiling, breathing heavy...but not from a nightmare this time. Or a nice dream about Willis, now that we were apart. Ethan, of all people, seemed to have invaded a sacrosanct space in my unconscious mind, and I wasn't sure how to react to that.

A few moments later I shut my eyes tight and shook my head.

Then I just felt guilty.

I didn't know for what. I hadn't actually done anything in real life that would come close to betraying Willis. I loved him and missed him like crazy, and even through everything I'd just undergone with the rebels, I always thought of him. But having a dream like this was new territory for me. I wasn't sure how to deal.

He was the only one I'd ever been with, and the only one I'd ever wanted to. So why this, now? If I could have controlled my subconscious, I would have, and told it not to come up with such preposterous scenarios. But I still felt bad even for something I couldn't help.

I wasn't sure what would make it go away except rolling out of bed and getting on with the day. So that's exactly what I did.

* * *

As I sat in the common room a short while later drinking coffee and eating breakfast, one of the enlisted ONI operatives came up to me and saluted.

"Ma'am, you've got a call for you in the COM room. It's Captain Cooper."

I thought of my younger brother and frowned. How had he gotten access to a secure ONI channel?

"Navy or Marine?" I asked then.

"Navy, ma'am. He said it's urgent and to come get you straight away."

At that I leapt to my feet, leaving my coffee and tray behind in the room, wondering if something had happened to one of my kids or even Willis after I'd just been frickin' captured. It was completely like the cosmos to rupture all at once, but I hoped that the one bright spot in all this was that my family was all safely back at home, far from the shit. I felt the panic well up inside me as I all but ran down the hall, and when I finally made it into the COM room, I went red with anger from head to toe when I saw my brother Mark's face. He was _smirking_ at me through the video feed.

"Really?" I yelled at him. "Is that your idea of a joke? Haven't I been through enough already?"

Mark laughed. "Come on, little sis. Lighten up. I just heard through the grapevine about your...radio silence ever since you arrived at the facility, so I figured a little pressure to get you in to talk wouldn't hurt." Then his expression gradually went serious. "So how are you?"

I scrubbed a hand over my face and took in a calming breath. Only for my older brother would I do all I could not to blow a gasket at him, even over something like this. "Given that I almost had my _second_ heart attack of this lifetime, not so great." I finally sat down by the monitor and looked up. "Can you at least confirm to me that Willis and the kids are okay?"

"They're fine, Natalie. That's not what this is about." He paused, then amended, "Well, Willis is pretty shaken up about the whole thing, but I think that's mostly because he hasn't heard from you yet and is fearing the worst. What's up with that, anyway? Thought you'd be dying to talk to him."

Anyone else I would've told it wasn't their business. With my brother, it was usually different, but right now I didn't have the emotional wherewithal to get into it. "I've been meaning to call," I answered simply. "I just haven't gotten around to it yet."

"Yeah? I was told you got COM access four days ago."

"I also just got my life back _less_ than a week ago, so cut me a little slack, okay?"

"All right. No rush. Just know that your silence isn't doing much good back home."

I gave a heavy sigh. "I know. I know he's worried about me, and I know I should have called already. I'll do that as soon as we're off the line."

"Good. But you still haven't answered my question. Are you doing okay?"

Again I breathed deep, then replied, "I take it day by day. That's...about all I can handle right now."

"Hey, sometimes that's all it takes. One step at a time. And then you'll show those bastards, Natalie. I know you will." He suddenly grit his teeth as his green eyes - same as mine - darkened. "I know if I were there right now, I'd leave no man standing for what they did to you."

"I appreciate it, big bro."

His face lightened again, maybe for my benefit, before he reached for a bud in his ear. "Damn. I've got to go, kid. But I'm glad you're not letting this keep you down. Promise me you'll stay safe from now on, got it?"

I got as close to a grin as I was going to get. "Got it."

"I love you, sis."

"I love you, too, Mark."

He flashed one last smile at me, and then the screen went black.

I sat there perhaps longer than I should have staring at the shut-off COM unit. I kept glancing down at the small keyboard in front of it, trying to will my hands and fingers to move, but they wouldn't.

Finally I put my head in my hands on the desk and swallowed hard. I felt like something was wrong with me. My husband was millions of miles away, alone at home with our kids and worried about me. I wanted to see him and talk to him so badly - but after what I'd went through, I didn't think I'd ever be able to get the words out. I didn't even think we'd be able to relate anymore. Every time I started to reach for one of the keys to type in his number - our number - I found I just couldn't do it.

There was nothing to say. And deep down, I was afraid of what seeing his face might do to my carefully constructed composure that I'd struggled to regain the last several days. I thought seeing his hurt might double my own, and I'd already been drowning in enough of that. I needed more time to pull myself back up - not dive right back in.

When I made my decision, it was sudden and swift. I simply got up out of the chair and walked right out, not looking back.

Even though that hurt, too.

* * *

When I walked into the gym a little later, hoping to find some kind of solace, I went straight for the bench press and tucked myself in underneath the barbells. Imagine my surprise when Ethan sidled up from off to the side, apparently to act as my spotter. I hadn't forgotten about my dream earlier this morning, and my face immediately went red with embarrassment.

I shrank back to try to hide it. There was no way I was letting him see that.

"Cooper, you know better than to do this by yourself," he said, reaching out to grip the bar with the underside of his hands. "Okay. I've got it now. You can start."

If I left now he'd know something was up. So I took a moment to steel myself, then forcefully pushed up.

"So? How're your workouts coming along?"

I grunted, grateful for the easy conversation topic. "Good. They've helped a lot. I already feel a lot stronger."

"That's great, because you don't have much time left here, you know." He gave me a look from above me, but I kept my focus on the reps. "Do you know what you're going to do yet?"

I grit my teeth as the weights fell close to my chest. "Yeah."

"So what are you thinking?"

With that I stopped and released a sigh. "I have a baby at home, Ethan. I'd like to be there for him, and my other kids, but I...I don't want this to beat me."

"What do you mean?"

"The rebels," I said, pushing up harder once again. "I don't want to be broken, because then they'll win. I want to...come back from this, and I don't think I can do that from Mars. And I don't like the idea of abandoning my Marines."

"Then stay."

He said it softly, almost hopefully, but I ignored it and snorted.

"Yeah, but that's easier said than done. How do I tell Willis I _chose_ to be here? How do I justify being away from my family when I don't have to?"

"I don't know. But it sounds like you already have."

At that I frowned. He was right. It was a moot point now; I'd made my choice.

I just hoped - for my family's sake, as well as my own - that it was the right one to make.

"You're right," I finally said, working through yet another rep. "I want to go back."

"Back where?" my ex asked.

"To my regiment," I answered on a labored breath.


	22. Chapter 21: Vengeance

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry it's been so long. Usual string of excuses here.

Put this short chapter up in the meantime, and I hope to have more soon. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-One: Vengeance**

 ** ** ** ** **1503 Hours, November 8, 2560. Near the City of Cordonnes, ** **Planet Puget****. "The Reunion," Outer Colonies. Day Twenty of the Dark Side of the World**********

It was times like these that I keenly felt Hayden's absence. I missed his advice - not only in professional matters but in the personal as well. If he'd been here now, he would've probably made some crack about my dilemma with Ethan, or just told me I was being stupid. Without him here, though, I didn't know how to navigate this all myself - my internment and release, my ex, and now, finally, regaining command of my 52nd Combat Regiment.

We stepped off the Pelican under cover the next day, on the opposite hillside from the city. Our team was small - just me, Cal, Ethan, and four of his operatives. But we certainly had a big welcoming at the command tent once we made back inside friendly lines.

There to greet us was Major Brewer and the usual command group, along with Major Harris and Major Mullen. Everyone started clapping the moment I walked in in uniform along with Lloyd. I was moved by the reception but tried not to show it, even as the reunited pair of Brewer and Lloyd couldn't seem to help it at all.

My normally very stoic XO had tears in her eyes when she saw her husband, and Cal's facade cracked pretty easily, too. While everyone else remained standing and clapping, Brewer rushed over and grabbed Caleb's face in her hands, kissing him hard on the lips. The lieutenant reciprocated and that's what finally made me smile a little. This felt like a real homecoming after what we'd both gone through, and he deserved it.

As soon as the applause died down and Lloyd and Brewer had composed themselves again, I realized all eyes were on me. I wasn't unused to the feeling but now it made me feel awkward, out of place. I figured it was going to take a while to get used to that again.

"Well, we made it back," I said.

That caused another moment of celebratory uproar before I motioned for them to stop. Then I looked over at Caleb, standing beside his wife, and continued, "I want to thank Commander Ackerson and his team for rescuing us. God knows we tried hard to get out on our own, but once we'd been in there long enough even I was starting to feel like it was a lost cause. So thank you, for our lives and bringing us back to our families. And to the mission."

I placed my hands on my hips then and looked down at my boots, feeling very light all of a sudden in my battledress with no armor or weapons on just yet. I didn't know how I was going to feel once I was fully geared up, but I hoped it would eventually be natural again. But first, there was more to say.

"The others I would like to thank aren't here to accept it, and I want them to be remembered. Because if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have even survived our capture."

Before I went on, I suddenly stood at rigid attention and saluted.

To my left, my XO called out, "Marines, atten- _hut_!"

Everyone present did so as one. Only then did I begin.

"To the members of my detail who were lost, and laid down their lives for their CO. PFC Statton, Corporal Hayward, Corporal Leonard, Lance Corporal Dektri, Lance Corporal Amagi, PFC Chong, and Staff Sergeant Lynch, whom I had the pleasure of knowing and working with for a few years now. I will not forget any of them, or their sacrifice, and neither should we."

I finally released my salute and everyone else did the same, finally relaxing at Brewer's command. I had to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in my throat, and still it didn't completely go away. Whether I wanted it or not, I'd have the images of each of these brave Marines dying in my mind forever now, after having witnessed their deaths over and over and over that night Garrett had played me the clip on repeat. In that moment, I once again felt bitterly glad he was dead. It seemed like justice.

And it made me think of Willis, too, and how he probably wouldn't understand this new, angrier side of me. I still hadn't called and I knew I was avoiding him, but in a way it also felt like I was protecting him. He wouldn't want to know I'd changed like this. So I didn't show it just yet.

* * *

After the fanfare died down I spent another uncomfortable moment shaking hands with Majors Harris and Mullen before they returned to their respective battalions. I only really started feeling better when most of the non-essential personnel filed out of the tent. That did not, unfortunately, include Ethan, who it was determined would be taking over Caleb's duties from now on until Lloyd was well enough to return. My ex did me a favor though by keeping mostly out of the way and remained huddled with his small team of spooks, while I got to talk with Major Brewer more or less in private.

"So?" I asked her, coming around the center console to take a look at it. "Where do we stand since me and Cal've been gone?"

She stole a quick glance at her husband, lying asleep on a cot in the corner, before folding her arms across her chest. "How much were you told, ma'am?"

"Not much, really. Lloyd and I were too focused on...everything, and I think ONI didn't want to overwhelm us before we returned."

The major nodded carefully. "I figured that was probably the case. Let me show you, then, because you might be a little surprised to know we've got new friends in town."

Though I wasn't sure what she meant at first, I didn't ask since she was quick to pull up a vid on her datapad. It showed me exactly what I didn't want to see - a new wrinkle in our mission here on Puget.

"I'm surprised we've got something else on our hands, but I can't say I'm floored that it's _this_ ," I answered. "Rebs had to be getting their supplies from somewhere, right? And we knew it wasn't us."

"Yes, ma'am. But you know what this means. It brings with it the greater likelihood that the Covenant will come here."

"Yup."

I looked more intently at the end of the clip, which showed Jackals coming off their commandeered old warship with cratefuls of equipment, all of which were going to a half-dozen men in rebel uniforms. And it was a good thing I kept a close eye, because several meters behind them, waiting by the beat up Warthog the Innies had no doubt also bought off aliens or stolen, was Javier Laraza himself.

"There. That's him," I said then, pointing at the figure. "Pause the vid."

Brewer did so, then glanced over at me with a raised eyebrow. "That's who?"

"Laraza. You didn't meet him on Khan so I wouldn't expect you to know, but he's the rebel leader." I narrowed my eyes at the screen, tapping on his image. "We need to take him down."

"Is that going to be our first step, Colonel?"

I shook my head. "No. Our first step is liberating that hellhole your husband and I were locked up in. We can't know for sure, but we were told it was larger than we knew, and we couldn't be sure if there were others being held prisoner in there, like us. Ackerson and his team were sent to find me and Cal, but there's no telling if we might've missed anyone else. And I'm not leaving _any_ Marine to that fate."

She slowly nodded. "Okay. And what about this guy? Laraza?"

If I'd been feeling a little different and more like my chipper self, I may have smirked. But right now, I just felt a simmering anger bubbling up inside me.

"I know the bastard well. If we go in and mess with one of his pet projects, he'll come to us. So if we're going to be successful, and cut the head off this snake, we need to plan a well-coordinated ambush."

I wasn't blinded by revenge. I knew that the rebel movement was bigger than any one person, even someone as omnipresent and conniving as Javier. But disrupting their leadership would be a great boon nonetheless, and maybe enough for us to finally get a handle on things out here on Puget.

With the added element of the Jackals, there was no telling how crowded the field might get very soon. Better to go after the largest game in the savannah first, and then clear out the rest.


	23. Chapter 22: More Time

Author's Note: I'M BACK. Yes, from the dead, apparently. To bring you not one, but **two** new Cooper chapters. :D

Apologies for my year-long hiatus, guys (with good reason, I assure you) and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Two: More Time**

 **1725 Hours, November 8, 2560. Cooper-Hawk Residence, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Uncertainty," Inner Colonies. Day Twenty of the Dark Side of the World**

"Dad? You said Mom was okay. How come she hasn't called?"

Willis had spent the last week or so asking himself that same question. It was frustrating knowing his wife was finally safe but currently being kept in a facility that he couldn't get a hold of himself. Mark had said he'd have to wait for Cooper's call, so he did. He'd waited…and waited…and waited. Now, Natalie had both him and their oldest son concerned, so he decided to reach out again to his brother-in-law.

"I don't know, son, but I'm going to find out," Hawk answered as he pulled out his datapad from his uniform jacket pocket. It was mid-afternoon and he'd just come home from base, tired and anxious since they still hadn't heard from Cooper. He punched in Mark's number and waited.

As he did so, his mind began to drift. _It's not because of Ethan,_ he told himself. _Natalie's just been through hell and maybe she's just not ready to talk yet._ Still, it wasn't like her to not even bother checking in. If not for his sake, then at least for their kids. _But she doesn't know I told Gabriel,_ he reminded himself. _Hell, maybe she thinks I didn't mention this to any of the kids –_

"Hello?" an equally tired voice answered on the other end.

Willis took in a deep breath and began. "Hey, Mark, it's me. Any word yet on Natalie? I thought you said she had COMs back now, but I haven't gotten anything."

An uncomfortable silence stretched between the two, and Hawk started to get the uneasy feeling that the lack of communication was purposeful. Definitely not like Cooper at all.

"Yeah, about that…" Cooper's brother said, then released a sigh. "Look, man. I don't want to sugarcoat her condition to you. I talked to her last week. She was a holding it together, but barely. I'm sure she misses you and the kids, of course, but I just don't think she knows what to do with that yet. You know I can't say much about the mission, but she's in the middle of some deep shit, and that's without her stint as a prisoner. I think it's going to take her a while to…you know…get back to herself."

 _If ever_ was left unspoken, and Willis felt as though his heart had been crushed. The woman he'd loved for over a decade and a half, the mother of their four kids, certainly didn't exist anymore at present, and perhaps wouldn't ever again. In the moment, he wasn't quite sure how to come to grips with that. His end of the line remained silent, as did Mark's for a minute. Then came more words from his brother-in-law, resigned.

"Willis, listen. I did what I could on my end. I let her know you're anxious to hear from her, and I'm sure my niece and nephews are, too. I'm sorry. I think she just might need more time."

 _More time,_ Hawk thought, running an exhausted hand over his face.

He felt defeated and helpless. He could understand that what she'd been through must have been truly devastating, unspeakable even, but he wanted to be there for her now, as he'd always been in her time of need. He didn't want her to shut him out like this. And what made it worse was that it wasn't just his feelings involved this time. Their kids were suffering from her lack of contact, too – and that, he couldn't help but resent.

To her brother, though, he said softly, "Okay."

And then he hung up.


	24. Chapter 23: Siege

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Siege**

 **0534 Hours, November 11, 2560. Rebel Holding Facility Gamma, Planet Puget. "The Assault," Outer Colonies. Day Twenty-Three of the Dark Side of the World**

Three days later I sat in the snow on the hillside as I waited for an update from Major Harris. Dressed in white patterned fatigues with my arctic camo rifle in my lap, I kept an eye on the progress his battalion was making through my field binoculars. My new security detail surrounded me. As always, it was hard to wait - but this time, it was even worse, because I knew what the Marines stuck inside the compound were going through. I'd been through it firsthand, not two weeks earlier.

I didn't notice him at first, but Ethan entered the small perimeter my team of Marines kept around me, and waved them off for a minute. They appeared hesitant until I nodded to their new leader - Gunnery Sergeant Gage York.

In a rare show of exhaustion, my ex sat down beside me in a soft _crunch_ of powder.

"So? How long are we going to wait?" he asked.

I didn't look at him. Instead, I dropped my binoculars onto my rifle and pulled out an energy bar from one of my cargo pockets. "As long as it takes," I answered, ripping open the wrapper to eat.

"Want to tell me what this is about?"

"You know what this is about," I replied evenly around a mouthful of bar.

"Revenge?"

"Justice."

"I don't see how - "

"Well, frankly, you're not the one in charge. And I'm not leaving those Marines down there."

Through his research into the rebel base, Ethan had discovered that at least twelve more of our men and women were being detained inside. I wouldn't have left even one of them behind. As soon as Harris was ready, they'd be going in to rescue them...and I planned on joining them.

There was silence between us for a moment. Then, "What did your husband say about all this?"

"I haven't talked to him yet," I said through another bite. "And even if I had, I wouldn't recap our conversation to _you_."

He snorted and I saw the breath come out in the freezing air. "Trouble in paradise?"

"No, I just...he wouldn't understand."

"I do."

He said it calmly, matter-of-fact, and I'd just turned to face him when my COM buzzed.

"Colonel, we've got our way in. Rebel guards on the south side of the wall neutralized. On your orders, ma'am."

"Go in," I commanded. "I'll be down with my detail in ten."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good luck, Shawn."

"Thanks. You, too, Colonel."

I abruptly stood then, and so did Ethan, following behind.

"Lock and load, Marines," I said to my detail. "Major Harris has his in. We're aiding in the rescue as well. Let's move."

I heard muted rounds from silenced weapons on our approach, once we were down the hill. I knew this was risky, my being here when I'd left Brewer, Cal and the rest of the regiment in Cordonnes. But I trusted my former battalion to get the job done, and I was itching to get back into the fight myself. To prove that I was ready. That I was done being the victim, and had become the warrior again.

"We should be cautious, ma'am," my ex warned me through the general channel. "The rebs can sound the alarm anytime."

"Don't worry. We'll be prepared."

And we'd had to be. I'd discovered that Lieutenant Lloyd and I had been captured and transported over five hundred kilometers away from where we'd been taken. Getting the Pelicans in near here without being seen had been the tough part. This might be easier, if done right - but that would depend on our diligence, and our luck.

"My concern isn't that we can't take them on, Nat," Ethan clarified on our private channel now as we moved. "We have more than enough Marines here. I'm worried about the other prisoners. They might be executed before we can get to them, if the rebel bastards find out we're here."

"Over my dead body," I breathed.

We walked into a grisly scene on approach. For the rebels, anyway. One guard was slumped against the ground, blood on the wall behind her, while the other had a clean shot straight through her head.

"No helmet," I said aloud as I moved past. "Bad mistake." After angling with my weapon, I lowered it momentarily as I faced one of my men. "Corporal Gideon? The major said we had an in?"

"Affirmative, ma'am. It's just behind this door."

Gideon guided me around the corner, where another downed enemy fighter lay crumpled in the snow, dead but still bleeding from his gut. Even after all I'd been through I couldn't help but wince. I'd always hated seeing our own this way. Now, to think _any_ person was not _our own_ anymore was simply...strange. _We_ had done this. To each other. No crazed zealot alien warriors needed.

I took in a breath and looked past, to the heavy metal door the corporal was talking about. It looked a lot like the one I'd tried to escape from several weeks ago and failed. It was also the backdrop of my own first human kill, and for a moment, I faltered, catching myself on the wall.

Or so I thought. Ethan was beside me in an instant, holding me up.

"Cooper?"

"I'm fine. Let go."

The words were automatic but not true. Ethan knew that out of instinct. He tried his best to help me save face in front of my Marines.

"The colonel is still recovering from her injuries," he declared to the corporal while I took a moment to get it together. "I see the entrance, Corporal, but I also see it's locked. What's our next move here?"

Gideon finally turned his attention away from me and examined the doorway, crouching in front of it. "Simple, sir. I can plant explosives to - "

My ex scoffed. "Perfect plan, if you want to wake everyone within a five-mile radius. We need to breach it with something quieter."

Ethan gave me a quick glance then to make sure I was okay to stand on my own. I gave him a slight nod in return and he let go, stepping up to the doorway himself. Elsewhere around the base, we heard more muffled gunfire.

"We need to move," I said, finally regaining my posture as I gripped my gun tight. "Whatever you're doing, do it quick, Commander."

"Yes, ma'am. This'll only take a minute."

The ONI operative produced a small device from one of his cargo pockets, something that looked like a flat pen that he then slapped down parallel to the door's electronic entrance system. Once engaged the device glowed red, and Ethan began dancing his fingers across its panels. Quickly each quadrant went from red to green, then flashed. Then the panel was steady with a dull green glow.

"We're in," Ethan said. "Step back and get ready."

All of us behind him, including my security detail, raised our weapons up, raring to go. Ethan pulled on the device, which now had the consistency of a strip of putty, and shoved it back into his pocket, presumably for use later. Then he put his gloved hand on the door handle and said through the COM, "Three, two, one. _Mark._ "

The door swung open outward automatically - and we all dove into the snow as a hail of bullets met us.

"Automated turret!" I yelled, covering my helmeted head as snow kicked up in my face from the rounds. "Let's get a grenade in there!"

"What about the noise?" Ethan shouted back via COM.

"I think we're well past that now! Do it!"

I heard more than watched as my ex braved the fire to toss in a frag. The stationary turret went abruptly silent in a loud burst of shrapnel. Now we were really in...and prepared for the fight of our lives.

"Well, this won't be easy now," I murmured. "Marines, stay sharp and let's proceed."

* * *

Alarms were blaring throughout the facility now, making my heart pound fast not only in anticipation of a brutal fight, but also in apprehension for our fellow UNSC service members still holed up here. I worried for their safety and survival now that the enemy knew we were present. But nothing could help that now. This was the situation, and we had to adapt. Fast.

"Move! We need to get through these corridors and get our people out!" I shouted. "Careful around corners - there could be more turrets and certainly more men! Weapons up!"

As we all but sprinted past familiar locales - Laraza's office, an interrogation room, another empty room like the one where I'd been held in overnight watching clips of my former security detail die over and over again, I felt my breath catch in my throat. For a moment I felt like I couldn't breathe and I nearly tripped myself, stumbling around a corner. Along with the adrenaline now came fear - a cold tightening of my insides that slowed me down.

But it also saved my life.

"They're UNSC Marines! Open fire!" I heard down the hall.

"Marines, hit the deck!" I countered over the COM.

As soon as my stomach hit the floor I brought my gun up in front of me and returned fire. The first of the rebels charging us fell backwards in a spray of blood, screaming. _My second kill?_ I wondered. I couldn't tell in the heat of the moment whether I'd only stopped him or if he was dead. Besides, there were plenty more coming up behind him.

Bullets danced in front of me, _pinging_ off the bulkheads and whizzing past my helmeted head in a frenzied rush I hadn't been a part of in a very long time. It felt familiar but at the same time different, and while the cause was apparent, the sensation was interesting and new. For the most part, though, I knew that if I were to pull this off, to carry my weight and stop hauling my memories behind me, I needed to stop feeling and just _do_.

"Keep up the fire! Don't hold back!"

The shout sounded strange and for a moment I didn't even register it was me. I just kept moving my weapon from target to target - no longer person to person - and pulled the trigger, one burst after the next. These were the Covenant, trying to kill my Marines. The Flood. The Storm. The Prometheans, and everything else we'd fought in between. I couldn't see the rebels as human anymore. I couldn't afford to, and even more importantly, they'd shown me otherwise.

And now, they were dead.

Breathing hard, I blinked a few times as my pulse rushed in my ears. The brief skirmish was suddenly over and it took me longer than usual to realize that. As my chest heaved up and down on the floor, I just laid there, staring at the bodies before us. There were six in all. One just around the corner, three closer, and two gunned down on top of one another. Human bodies with a large puddle of red underneath.

I shut my eyes tight and started to shake. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't _me_. What was I do -

Before I could even finish the thought process I felt myself getting hauled up to my feet, rifle still in my hands.

"Natalie," I heard a tight whisper behind me. "Not here. Do not break down _here_ , understand? You have a job to do." Ethan gave me a quick squeeze of the shoulders to steady me, then continued, "Breathe. Dial it down and just...breathe."

"Okay," I repeated softly to myself. "Breathe."

I turned around then and asked over the COM, "Status? Everyone all right?"

"Yes, ma'am," Gunnery Sergeant York replied. "Couple rounds got close but everyone on our side is good."

"Acknowledged," I said.

In a move that surprised no one, however, it was Ethan who had the last word. "I've got a feeling the rebs are going to regret this little operation they've set up here on Puget."

* * *

Stepping over the corpses of enemy dead was easier than I thought, maybe because I did my best to shut down and move along. I knew that soon I'd have to check in with Major Harris and the remainder of his battalion's progress through the facility, but for now, we kept to ourselves and continued charging our way down the hall. Another few unfortunate run-ins with the Insurgents - mostly for them - and we found ourselves just feet away from one of the main detention blocks.

Before we went in I held my hand up to signal the others to halt and held a gloved finger to my lips, holding my gun in one hand. This was going to be tricky; I expected a lot of resistance past this point. And hopefully, we found some of our own still alive in the cells. All that stood between us and them was this one last doorway.

Finally, I looked over at Ethan, crouching behind me, and pointed to the door.

"Wanna do the honors?"

He flashed me a smug grin. "Thought you'd never ask, Colonel."

Ethan moved quickly, checking the scene before repeating his trick with ONI's putty pen. Probably not its technical name...but that's what I thought of it as in my head. In the meantime, we kept watch behind him, making sure his six was secure while he worked. I had to admit, I'd be more than a little distraught at this point to lose Ethan. In many ways, he was the only thing keeping me together right now. After what had gone down the past few weeks, I needed all the help I could get.

And maybe he was growing on me a little, too.

"Go," he said quietly over the COM, interrupting my thoughts. Gripping my rifle tight, I moved forward as he opened the door and -

 _Bang!_

A flash of sound and light enveloped the small corridor outside the detention room and for a moment I couldn't see - couldn't _think_. I felt myself fall to my knees with my gun down, hearing muffled shouting and _pops_ in the air that I belated recognized as live rounds, but they didn't sound right. It sounded like they were far away, moving through water. Not barely missing me as they sped past my ears. I blinked a few times, nearly losing hold of my weapon, before all at once the rush of full sound and motion became a whole reality for me again and I was thrown back into the chaos.

 _Flashbang_ , my mind finally supplied. The rebel bastards had used a flashbang on us, and to great effect.

Before I could even bring my gun back up, I saw two of our Marines slumped against the bulkhead to the side of me, dead - one of them Corporal Gideon, the other a private. I searched frantically ahead for Ethan and found him alive, but he was currently pushing a reb up against the wall without his weapon, fighting him hand-to-hand. I watched as my ex gave the rebel a hard knee to the gut, then a swift fist to the face, before the front of my armor was griped hard out of nowhere and I was pinned, too.

Getting my back slammed against the wall did nothing to help me recover my faculties and I let out a loud grunt, just as much from surprise as hurt. I looked the rebel I was now fighting in the eyes and I could see the savagery there, the hate. He wanted me dead. If his face didn't say it, the combat knife he pulled on me with his next motion certainly did.

The unnamed fighter tried to shove the blade in the space between my torso armor and web belt, right in my gut - but something in me switched on at that moment and I held him back, gripping his shoulders with both hands and all my strength to keep him at bay. I pulled my leg up and slammed my thick, heavy boot onto his foot, causing him to howl before he swiped at me again with the knife, but now I was able to loosen myself up enough out of his grip to dodge to the side and hit him in the chest with the butt of my rifle. He stumbled back and I dropped my weapon, pulled out my sidearm and shot him point-blank. Three times.

 _Pop! Pop! Pop!_

He hit the ground in a growing pool of dark red almost instantly. I was left standing there, breathing hard, taking in the moment I'd just saved my own life...at the price of another. Again.

"There's more where that came from!" Ethan suddenly shouted to everyone, having just dropped his own opponent in front of him. "Colonel, I respectfully suggest we get inside!"

"Right!"

I didn't want to leave our own dead behind, but for now, we had no choice. If we had any hope of saving ourselves - so that we could in turn save anyone still stuck inside the detention rooms - we had to get in and reseal the doors. Before more rebels showed up. With Ethan taking point I had all of our Marines file in, and only once we knew we were all safely inside did I finally breathe a sigh of relief.

"Welcome to Cell Block Bravo, Marines," I said then, reading the large sign on the bulkhead as my ex moved past me to access the COM unit just inside. "Let's start moving through and make sure we get all our guys and gals. Quickly."

As the Marines dispersed at my order, I turned back to Ethan and the control panel he was attempting to access.

"This looks a lot fancier than the wing Caleb and I were held in," I said to him. "I had no idea a block this big was here."

"I think they just wanted you separate from the main crowd, Colonel. For very obvious reasons."

I snorted. "Couldn't be seen as a wimp who got captured?"

Ethan shook his head as he continued to work. "Opposite of that, ma'am. The Marines and ODSTs here couldn't see they had hope."

As I slung my rifle over my shoulder and stepped forward, I saw the panel Ethan was working on finally light up.

"We in?"

"Yup. Every cell should be open now, Nat." He gave me a small flash of a grin then, and the first good news we'd had all damn day. "Let's go free some Marines."


	25. Chapter 24: Ready Or Not

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Ready Or Not**

As soon as Ethan had the holding cells open, I went with the rest of my security detail to help free our Marines and Helljumpers being detained in the block, leaving my ex back at the entrance to keep watch and continue tinkering with the electronics. I approached my new team's leader first, Gunnery Sergeant York, and gestured to the cells.

"Well, Gunny? How many do we got?"

"Eight active cells, ma'am. There's enough room in here for sixteen, though."

" _Sixteen?_ "

"Yes, ma'am."

"Rebel operations at this facility in particular are definitely more advanced than in our neck of the woods," Ethan interjected over the general COM freq. "You also noted the fact that this is Cell Block Bravo. That means there's an Alpha, too, with just as many - if not more - cells available."

"Jesus Christ." I glanced down at the concrete floor for a moment and just stared. This was much larger than I could have imagined. The rebels definitely had a stronger hold of Puget than I'd given them credit for when I'd first arrived. Of course, over the last few weeks I'd been disabused of a lot of preconceptions about this place - and the rebel movement itself. In that respect, this was no different. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though. Laraza is nothing if not grand in his endeavors."

"He's a guy who likes to make a statement, Colonel, I'll give him that," Ethan agreed.

I raised my gaze then and took in a breath. "All right, then. No use stalling. These prisoners have been waiting for freedom long enough. Let's get them out."

One by one my Marines and I went into the small cells and pulled out men and women in various states of hunger, filth, fear, and stubborn nonchalance. One man with cropped dirty blonde hair, an ODST who looked to be in his mid-twenties, just glanced up at my gloved hand when I held it out for him to grab. He remained sitting on the ground in the corner of his cell, knees to his chest, even with the door wide open. He refused to look me in the eye.

"What's your name, son?" I asked, arm still outstretched.

"Jared. Clint Jared. Sergeant."

Gunnery Sergeant York stepped forward then, wanting to correct the young man on his omission of the honorific, but I held up my hand to stop him. Instead, I crouched down to the Helljumper's level and looked him in the eyes. They were green like mine, but dull. That spark - that zest for life - was gone.

For a moment, I wondered if mine were that way now, too.

"Clint. I'm Colonel Cooper. My team and I are here to get you out. Can you stand?"

Sergeant Jared snorted at me. "Can I stand? Yeah, I can stand. They beat my ribs, my arms, my face. But not my fucking legs. Lucky I guess."

" _Ma'am,_ " York said behind me.

"Ma'am," Jared mimicked.

"York, go help the others," I ordered, turning to face him for a second. "Let me handle this one."

"'This one'?" Jared laughed, but it was humorless. "Oh, a high-flying Colonel, here to save the day! And a ground-pounder at that; I don't see no flaming skull tattoo on you. What's the matter, _ma'am_? Desk get too cushy for your ass? Decide to come down to hang with the common folk for once? Come 'save the prisoners' so you can finally get that shiny star on your sleeve?"

I chuckled. "No, actually. I'm not a Helljumper, but I was a prisoner here, just like you. That spook over there rescued _my cushy ass_ two weeks ago. I was held in South Bay. Had a pet guard named Garrett. And Daria. Ring a bell?"

Sergeant Jared's face went from bitter derision to surprised understanding in an instant. "No shit?"

"No shit." I stood a little to show him my uniform, messy with a spray of blood that wasn't my own. "And I didn't get my cammies like this from the dry cleaners, either. And this?" I pulled out my sidearm and ejected the clip, pulling out all the rounds except for what I'd just used on the reb who'd tried to kill me. "Not missing bullets from target practice, Jared."

"Okay." He said the word quietly, slowly, but very clearly. "Okay, ma'am. You're all right."

"Good. Now what do you think about taking a Pelican ride out of here with a battalion of friendlies at your back?"

The faintest shadow of a smile tugged the corner of the ODSTs lips. He finally took my hand, again outstretched, and said, "I'd give anything, ma'am. Where do I sign up?"

"Get with Gunny York, Sergeant. He'll get you squared away."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Colonel! You need to see this!"

I practically leapt at Ethan's words and started for the control panel, where he was still at work. "Update me!"

"We've got rebs swarming the doors! I'm doing everything I can to keep this block on lockdown but my countermeasures won't last long! I don't have all the tools I need to keep - "

There was a loud bang at the door, and I knew the rebels were trying to get back in.

Funny. We'd inadvertently barricaded ourselves in an enemy cell block, and they wanted to get us out.

Ethan huffed at the growing noise outside, frustrated, and finally stepped away from the controls. "Do we have any extra weapons?"

"Our sidearms," I answered. "Why?"

He gestured up ahead at Gunnery Sergeant York, who was gathering the former prisoners. "Well, we got eight new fighters on board to help us out, ma'am."

"No."

I said the word loud enough and firmly enough that my ex just balked.

"Don't you realize the hell they've just been through?" I said through our private channel, to avoid having a very public blowout. "'Cause I do. No way are they ready to - "

" _Feelings_ don't matter right now, Cooper. They're Marines and Helljumpers. They'll adapt and overcome, just like you did."

" _I_ wasn't in here as long as they've been! And I was allowed to keep a _tiny_ bit of my dignity because of my rank. You think they got any special treatment in this place?"

Ethan just scoffed. "It's your call, Colonel. Try not to make the wrong one."

I had to bite back a reply when another loud bang sounded, and I wondered how much longer we had in here on our own.

"And make it fast," my ex said, reading my mind. "Or the rebs will do it for you."

With the banging growing louder I let out a growl of frustration of my own and keyed the COM. "Marines, get the prisoners equipped for the fight. Now. Pull out your pistols and let 'em have it."

It would put the members of my security detail at a disadvantage, but as a whole we'd be a stronger unit with more numbers. I saw the benefit, but all I could think was how I'd felt when I'd been rescued, being immediately thrust into combat right away. It hadn't done much for my psyche, that was for sure.

 _Semper Fi,_ I thought to myself, raising my gun now at the door. _Do or die._

It was a good thing I'd gestured my Marines - and Ethan - back from the door to the cell block just as I'd gone into a crouch up front, because it burst open with the earth-shattering force of an explosion. Ethan must've blocked the entryway well enough that that was the only option to get in.

And if that weren't enough, one of the rebs, hiding behind the door still, tossed in a smoke canister right after.

"Compensators on!" I yelled, tapping the side of my own helmet at the same time. "Could be gas!"

As my helmet's system filtered out the newly contaminated air in the chamber, I saw a shadow move through the smoke and brought my rifle to bear, firing three quick bursts in that direction. A hail of bullets behind me helped, too, and we heard a body drop in short order.

Then another. And another.

The smoke had been meant for us, so that we couldn't see, but the enemy had inadvertently blinded themselves instead - all we had to do was fire into the gray fumes as the Insurgents pushed their way into the block. All the while bullets ricocheted off the floor and the bulkheads, final bursts of live rounds from rebels who were falling in an instant by the door. Eventually the smoke dissipated, and all that was left was a scene of mass carnage in its wake.

I stood there breathing heavy for a moment. I was closest to the entryway, gun still up and finger inside the trigger guard. No one else appeared.

"Commander Ackerson," I said then, adrenaline winding down from the fight. "Let's reseal the doors."

"Right away, ma'am."

Turning to face my security detail, I lowered my weapon as I looked to York and asked, "Our former prisoners?"

"All accounted for, Colonel. No injuries."

"Good." I took in a deep breath and began to follow after my ex. "I think it's time we get a sitrep from Major Harris, then. After that, we move forward."

"Ah, ah, _ah_ ," a voice suddenly echoed through the cell block. "Not so fast, Cooper."

"The fuck?" Sergeant Jared said, lifting up his sidearm again.

My heart pounded in my chest, but I tried not to let it show as I shot a look at the control panel. Over our private channel, I asked, "Ethan?"

"Prison COMs, Nat. It's Laraza. I can't...I can't stop him."

"You've made quick work of my men, haven't you, Colonel? From you, of course, I'd expect no less!"

I couldn't help but grip my own rifle tighter as his voice filled the chamber once more. I kept looking over at the door, littered with dead Insurgents, and kept expecting more to come around the bend. Maybe this was a ruse. A way to keep us in here until more reinforcements showed up. To keep us distracted and unaware.

"Laraza," I ground out, searching everywhere for the source of his voice. "Show yourself."

"Certainly. And I think you will find I have what you're looking for, as well. Or shall I say, _who_."

Without the spook even touching it, the panel beside him suddenly emitted a sharp _ping_ sound and then lit up. Projected before us in the room was a live feed of the former mayor Laraza, now rebel general, holding a pistol in his hand.

Beside him, on his knees, missing his helmet and bleeding from a cut on his forehead, was a familiar black Marine officer.

"Shawn!"

My insides turned to absolute ice. Last I knew, Harris was clear across the rebel facility. There was no getting to him in time.

This was what we'd feared all along. Prisoner executions, before we could even rescue them. But having one of my men - one of my best and most trusted officers - captured in the raid was not what I'd anticipated. Especially not him.

"Come now, Cooper. You've managed to save, what? Eight of your men and women in that sector alone? I'd say that's a good trade-off for one man, no?"

The rebel leader lifted his hand then and pressed the weapon to my former XO's - to my _friend's_ \- head.

"No! Don't!"

"Let it go, Colonel," Harris said, his voice quaking slightly but his posture firm. "Let it go. Save those other Marines. I'm...I'm sorry I got caught."

"Laraza, you sick son of a - You let him go! _Shawn!_ "

There was the loud and familiar sound of a gunshot across the projected video feed, and I watched as Harris crumpled to the floor. I felt the reverberation of the blast in my chest, in my heart, and for a second I felt like all the air had left my lungs.

My breath. I couldn't breathe.

On the feed, Laraza seemed pleased with himself. Smug, as he stood over Major Shawn Harris's body.

"There. An eye for an eye, yes, Colonel Cooper? Although not quite. You've killed dozens of my people already. This is but one of your own. There will be more if you do not leave. _Now_."

Ethan stepped up beside me, glowering at the rebel in charge.

"You're bluffing, asshole. You've got no one else."

"Do I? I suppose you will not know until you test me."

The feed abruptly went blank then and I felt like the world that I'd blocked out in the moment of Harris's death suddenly came flooding back. I sucked in a deep breath and nearly heaved, leaning over and grabbing my knees for support. Ethan stood there, placed a hand on my back, and whispered, "Remember what I said earlier, Natalie. Breathe."

But I couldn't. I felt tears well up in my eyes for yet another friend I'd lost, this one in such a needless and cruel way, and a sharp sob escaped my throat.

"Natalie?"

"I can't," I croaked, aware of my detail and the former prisoners behind us, but unable to care at the moment. "Ethan, I can't."

"Yes, you can. You have to."

"So many dead. So much - "

"Come here."

He took me in his arms then and there, weapons and gear and all, and I hugged him back fiercely. After Harris - and the last few weeks, and my internment and recovery and subsequent return to command - it all felt unbearable. Too much too fast. How was I expected to just...continue?

"Hey. None of that," my ex said softly. "No second-guessing, okay? Just take a minute and regroup."

It felt like an eternity before I felt oxygen come back to my lungs. It still felt strange when I took in a breath, like the air was heavy. Or my lungs too weak. Or my heart destroyed.

"We need to go," I finally said, and as soon as I straightened, I saw my ex give me an incredulous look.

"You're abandoning the mission? What about the rest of the prisoners?"

I solemnly shook my head. "No. I'm leaving this room. We're going after Laraza."


	26. Chapter 25: Diverging Pathways

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Diverging Pathways**

As we emerged back into the hallway, I knew we needed a plan. The original was to get the prisoners out, but Laraza had somehow very obviously taken the upper hand here. One of my senior officers - and a good friend - was dead, and I wanted to find out how.

And more importantly, I wanted Laraza to pay.

"This isn't like him," I muttered under my breath, forgetting that my private channel to Ethan was still active.

"What?" he answered, moving up behind.

"Laraza. This is completely not his style. He isn't a doer; he hires others to do the dirty work, always. At least that was his modus operandi on Khan."

Ethan scoffed. "That was three years ago on a different planet, Nat. Things change."

"I know, I just..."

I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong here, out of place. But since watching Major Harris get killed, what little progress I'd made towards inching back to something resembling my old self was gone. It was hard to think when my mind flooded again with awful memories, sensations, emotions - all of them bleak. My head hurt, and my heart, and I felt a startling loss of control - loss of _self_ \- with every step that terrified me.

 _Take a deep breath, Cooper,_ I thought to myself, mirroring Ethan's previous words. _Just breathe._

It was a mantra I felt I'd be saying silently in my mind for quite some time to come.

"Natalie?" came my ex's voice again. "I know better than to ask if you're okay, but are you prepared to move on?"

I didn't answer him. Couldn't. I did take a step forward though, and then another, and somehow found the determination within me to see this through.

* * *

Out in the hall things were eerily quiet after all the commotion the rebs had just caused. My team and I, along with the rescued prisoners, continued ahead with weapons at the ready, yet we were met with no resistance. I knew we hadn't managed to take everyone out in the facility, not by a long shot, and so I wondered at the silence.

I felt like it was as good a time as any to get a hold of Harris's second in command, Captain Norfolk, so I hailed him over a private connection.

"Captain, this is Colonel Cooper. Please respond."

No reply. I tried again.

"Norfolk, this is Cooper. Please answer the hail."

Silence filled the channel and I got the uneasy feeling that maybe Laraza hadn't been bluffing after all. Maybe he did have more than one Marine in his hands.

"We need to move quickly," I said to my team. That included Ethan, and I watched him perk up. "Laraza may have more of us he's holding."

That was enough to get everyone going as we picked up the pace, staying just under a full sprint past more corners, hallways that branched off to the left and right, and interrogation rooms. As we got closer and closer to the center of the facility, the rooms we passed changed from "prisoner accommodations" to things more geared towards housing a light garrison of troops - barracks, two more offices, a small gym, and a mess hall.

I had a feeling that past this epicenter of amenities was Cell Block Alpha - and hopefully Laraza.

"Which way, ma'am?" Gunnery Sergeant York asked at the juncture, weapon up since he was currently at point.

"Ackerson," I said, gesturing to the first office. "Check both for any intel we may have missed. Fast. O'Bannon, watch his six."

"Yes, ma'am."

In the meantime I moved just past York to peek in the hall that led to the barracks, but I wasn't looking to attract even more company. "I'm betting the mess hall joins the two big cell blocks so we'll go through there. Let's check the gym while the commander inspects the offices though, just in case. Don't want to get hit in the back."

"Understood."

York moved to take point again, but I gestured him behind. The gym wasn't large and quite frankly, I doubted anyone had remained inside during an assault.

But it turned out that even after thirteen years on the job, I could still be wrong.

No sooner had I taken a step towards the room then a woman dressed in a T-shirt and shorts came barreling out, a huge weight in her hands that she tried to bash into my side. I side-stepped just in time and grabbed the reb by the arms, spinning her bodily and throwing her against the opposite wall with the momentum. She crumpled on the floor beneath the heavy weight and groaned.

When she blinked open her eyes again, I saw the rage but also the fear. Five Marines, myself included, stood over her with guns raised - and she looked to be barely older than conscription age.

"Speak," I ordered, finger just outside the trigger guard on my rifle. "What are you doing hiding here?"

"Nothing!"

"Bad time to go lift some weights, huh?" York added beside me.

"I didn't _know_ we'd be getting attacked!"

"So what's your story?" I pressed, willing to offer a reprieve because she seemed young and, despite myself, reminded me of Matt when I'd first found him - naive and inexperienced, caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. "You heard the commotion and the alarms and just...stayed put?"

"Clearly _not_ one of the brave ones," York quipped.

The rebel snarled fiercely at him. "Go to hell!"

I lowered the barrel of my rifle for just a second to indicate the large weight on top of her. "Used that in lieu of a weapon? Pretty clever, if you'd hit."

"What do you want from me? Why not just kill me?"

"Because you can help."

"Fuck you! I ain't helping no Marine!"

"Then you can take a bullet," one of my team members said behind us, stepping forward, but I raised a hand.

"No. She's coming with us. York, Patterson, secure her."

"What the hell!" the young rebel cried, staring daggers at all of us. "I said _no!_ Kill me!"

"Not today, kid, and not if I can help it."

Once the reb was restrained I turned to the Marine who'd offered to take her out and got in his face.

" _Never_ aim to kill an unarmed prisoner, Meyers. Do you understand me?"

"But she's the ene - "

"Yes or no, Marine?"

"Yes, Colonel."

"Because believe it or not, that doesn't exempt us from following the rules of engagement. Now where's Ackerson?"

"Here, ma'am!" I heard down the hall. "O'Bannon's with me. Offices cleared."

"Good. Then you - " I said, pointing to the secured reb, " - can show us the way to Cell Block Alpha."

The rebel prisoner became belligerent then, fighting against York and Patterson but shrinking back when something pained her - likely damage from weight. "Fuck! I said no! I'm not telling you shit!"

"York, bring her with. We'll see if she changes her tune later, but in the meantime, we can't afford to linger here."

"Understood, Colonel."

I raised my own rifle again, and made for the mess hall. "Through here. Keep your eyes and ears sharp."

* * *

As I figured for a situation like this, the mess hall was empty, too. It was the largest room we'd been in by far, but still not too big by garrison standards. While the facility could hold quite a few prisoners at one time, it obviously didn't have a huge staff. That made me feel better about our chances of overtaking this place, before Laraza could take out anyone else - but I was still worried. And because of that, I almost made a rookie mistake and stepped out in the opposite hallway first.

I would've walked right into a squad of rebels racing down the corridor.

Instantly going into a crouch, I gestured for my Marines to do the same, including the prisoners we'd freed and the reb we'd just taken. I also signaled for quiet, but as soon as I did so, I heard a young female voice call out from behind us.

"In here! They're in here!"

Shit.

Just as the rebels turned around I charged out and opened fire. Two rebels went down in quick succession before I dropped to the ground on my stomach, going prone to avoid the hail of bullets sure to come my way. York came out behind me, followed by Ethan, then O'Bannon.

A round from one of the rebels ricocheted off the wall and into O'Bannon's sleeve, making him cry out and putting us at a disadvantage with only three of us trying to fight them off. But most of the rebs were still trying to make it back to the remainder of their squad, taking cover in small nooks in the wall and behind crates.

"Nat! They're probably buying time for Laraza!" Ethan suddenly yelled into our private channel. "We better hope he doesn't have anyone right now. And I think it was a mistake to bag that reb - "

"Shut! Up!"

Nothing was going to get the rebs out of their chosen positions, and we were out in the open. So to get them out, I did the only thing I could think of - pulled a frag off my web belt, pulled the pin, and let it fly. "Marines, take cover!"

The rest of my security detail came rushing out of the mess hall just after the grenade went off, taking down two more rebels and scattering the rest. I heard guns going off beside and behind me, a total wall of sound, and watched as the rest of the rebs dropped one after the next. One rebel slipped on the blood on the ground and I got him in my crosshairs as he fell. I immediately pulled the trigger and when he hit, he didn't make any move to stand again.

My ears were ringing when the skirmish ended, and I found I was breathing fast. I felt lightheaded and I didn't jump up to my feet right away. My stomach churned and I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to this feeling.

"Come on," Ethan said beside me, half pulling me up. "Let's see if your reb'll play ball now."

"Right."

I shook my head to clear it and pushed myself up the rest of the way. Looking behind us when I stood, I saw O'Bannon getting treated, and then I picked out our prisoner's face among the group. There was a mix of horror and unshed tears in her eyes. When I indicated we were ready to move, Patterson, who still had a hold of her, had to shake her to get her going.

"Is this the way to Block Alpha?" I said, stepping in front of her. "To Laraza?"

She glanced up and our eyes met. The tears finally spilled over and she nodded wordlessly.

I turned around and got my Marines moving. She had no idea I felt the same.

* * *

The closer we got to the block the worse the feeling became. I continued to feel it until we heard the sounds of a scuffle going on just up ahead, then four gunshots in rapid succession.

"Shit," Ethan said over the general channel, mirroring my thoughts exactly. "He's got another one!"

We all picked up the pace, ready to face whatever lay before us...

Except when we got there, we all lowered our guns in an instant.

Out in the hall was Captain Norfolk and a bevy of Harris's Marines.

"Colonel!" Norfolk shouted, stepping over the body of a dead rebel - whom I presumed had been at the business end of those shots we'd heard - and coming towards me. "We've got a situation on our hands, ma'am."

"I hailed you twenty minutes ago, Captain," I replied. "Why no response?"

He tapped the side of his helmet. "I got very lucky, ma'am. Bullet dinged my helmet in a firefight but not me. Fried the electronics, though."

"You were saying?"

"Yes, ma'am. We just cleared Cell Block Alpha. No prisoners left."

My eyes widened despite myself. "None?"

"Not one, ma'am," he answered solemnly, shaking his head. "No sign of Laraza, either."

"Son of a _bitch_."

I was still trying to digest the information when Ethan came up beside me.

"Colonel, our own prisoner says he may still be here."

"Who? Laraza?"

"Yes. She says the room he broadcast from...it couldn't have been the cell block. She said he has another office in this wing of the facility as well. Was likely done in there."

"You told her about the broadcast?"

My ex just shrugged. "Thought it might help, and it did."

I finally shut my eyes tight for a moment and blew out a long breath. "Okay. Get her up here, then. She can lead the way."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Norfolk?"

"Colonel?"

"Keep the area secure in the meantime, please."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ethan," I said over our private channel. "This better be on the up and up. We should be wary of where this is going."

"Agreed. I'll come up at point with her if you want."

"Do it."

With Ethan and our rebel prisoner as guides, my team and I set off again past the cell block and further into the long corridor. Although it was quiet and there were no signs of trouble so far, I felt my heart rate going wild under my skin. I worried about an attack or an ambush, but I was more worried about what we'd find.

Eventually our prisoner indicated that her commander's office was the next one, up ahead. Ethan exchanged custody of her with York and Patterson, then focused on the room. A couple of Marines and I stacked up beside him, and then my ex went in first, gun raised.

I waited for a shout, a fight, something. Instead it was silent.

"Ackerson?"

"All clear, Colonel."

"What?"

I practically ran inside to see, and immediately wished I hadn't.

It looked like Laraza had made a space for himself in here expressly for the holo broadcast - the desk and chair were moved, other items and furniture all pushed to the walls. It would've looked silly, except for the fact that there was a dead body on the ground.

I nearly lost my breakfast then and there. Not because I wasn't used to seeing this by now, but because of who it was.

Facedown in the middle of the room was Major Shawn Harris, my former XO and good friend. There was blood pooled on the floor beneath him, a spent casing by the desk, and a sizable hole in the back of his head.

"I'm sorry, Natalie," Ethan said over our private channel, pausing in his work looking over the office for material. "I'm sorry you had to see him like this in person, too."

"Yeah." I said the word softly back over our shared channel, but didn't move. I wasn't going to allow myself another lapse in front of my Marines, but I felt the hurt and the anger bubble up again, and I hated that we had nothing to show for this, nothing to go after now. "I don't see Laraza in here. Does that mean he's gone?"

"For now."

"How?"

"I don't know, Nat. Maybe the bluff was to help him escape."

There was nothing I could do but shake my head. I could certainly lose my shit and start beating on every available piece of furniture in the office - and I thought about it - but it wouldn't help. Besides that, I was hopeful Ethan might still find something in all this that could be useful in tracking the bastard down. So instead, I crouched down by my friend's body, placing a hand on his back.

"I'm sorry, Shawn," I said softly. "I'm so sorry."

With O'Bannon's help we turned the body around so at least he wasn't crumpled against the ground anymore. I pulled off his dogtags and put them carefully in a pouch on my web belt.

"We won't be back, but I will get him for this. For all of you."

After that I stood. As soon as Ethan was finished we went back the way we came, still encountering no resistance, and I walked up to Captain Norfolk.

"Is everything ready?"

"Yes, ma'am. Demo team came in and rigged what they could along the way, just as you ordered."

"And you're sure we checked every inch for any more of our prisoners?"

"Yes, ma'am. All checked out."

I nodded. "Good. Let's get out of here then and blow this place to hell."

Fitting, I thought, for a place that had been my personal one. And that of many others - some fortunate enough to be departing beside us, others whose bodies and memories and stories we'd be leaving behind forever. I never thought one of those would be Shawn's, but as I'd come to find out by now, life was full of surprises.

And Laraza would be getting his one day, too. Soon.


	27. Chapter 26: Force of Nature

Author's Note: Warning for language in this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Six: Force of Nature**

 **1700 Hours, November 13, 2560. Near the City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget. "The Call," Outer Colonies. Day Twenty-Five of the Dark Side of the World**

"So the facility's gone now, huh? Glad to hear it."

I was inside the medtent set up in my regiment's fortified position near Cordonnes, arms folded across my chest as I stood by the foot of Lieutenant Caleb Lloyd's bed. His wife and my XO, Major Dani Brewer, was seated by his head, holding one of his hands in hers. I felt bad that I'd been gone recently, and not given her enough time to spend alone with her husband, but I'd wanted to stop by after our mission to the rebel holding facility for a number of reasons. One was that my buddy deserved to know what happened and I wanted him to hear of our success from me. Another was more selfish, in that I needed time to process how it'd felt to finally see that shithole go up in smoke. Only Cal, who'd been there with me, could understand.

Before I could respond though, Caleb turned to me again, his voice low, and asked, "Did we get anyone else out, ma'am?"

"Seven Marines and one Helljumper were rescued," I answered, then shook my head. "We weren't able to get to the other cell block in time. And you know Harris - "

"Yeah," Brewer released on a sigh. "I told him about that. But at least we know for sure no one else will ever have to experience that place again." She seemed to hesitate for a moment before asking, "Who do you want in charge of the Eighth Engineers now, Colonel?"

I threw my hands up, not a gesture I would have made in the presence of anyone else. "I don't know, to be honest. Norfolk is acting commander for now, and it's going to stay that way for a bit until I can figure it out. I don't think he's ready to helm the battalion on his own just yet."

The major nodded in agreement. "I'll start thinking of some names, too. You don't have to do this alone, you know."

"Yes, ma'am," Caleb said, cracking a rare half-smile. "We've got your back. Always."

A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as well. "Thanks. There's a little more to it than that and lots to do, but I appreciate the sentiment." I looked to Brewer then, suddenly feeling uneasy about ruining the mood by bringing up some of the darker emotions Caleb and I no doubt shared over the destruction of our detention site. Therapy for that would have to wait. "Major? Are we ready to convene everyone for the debriefing?"

Brewer gave her husband's hand one last squeeze and stood. "Yes, ma'am."

"All right, then. Cal, we'll talk later."

He nodded. "I look forward to it, Colonel."

"And get better soon - we need you out there."

"I'll try my best, ma'am."

* * *

It was only later, once my senior officers were filing out of the command tent, that the exhaustion of the last two days since the op really hit me. As I'd mentioned to Caleb and Brewer earlier, taking out the facility had eliminated one problem but birthed a host of others - finding Laraza, replacing and grieving Harris, taking care of our newly released prisoners, and tending to our own. I had yet to speak to our new captive since getting back to Cordonnes, but I resolved to do it soon. I'd let Ethan handle that aspect for now because the truth was...I simply couldn't. I couldn't bear it all at once at the moment, even though by rights I should have. It made me feel terrible and like I was letting go of my responsibilities, but in a lot of ways I was in emotional survival mode at this point. I had to try to take a load off where I could, or I'd collapse under the weight of everything that had occurred so far. And that would help no one.

"Colonel? You said you wanted to speak to me after the debrief?"

I glanced up from the holotable to find Major Harris's XO, Captain Darren Norfolk, standing in front of me. I pinched the bridge of my nose for a second and released a sigh. "Yes, Captain. I wanted to hear from you what happened back at the facility."

He appeared confused. "Ma'am?"

"Major Harris, Darren. How did he die?"

"No disrespect, Colonel, but I think you know the answer to that."

I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back against the holotable, now behind me. "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around...how was he captured? How did the rebel leader manage to separate him from the unit?"

At that Captain Norfolk swallowed, obviously trying to keep his composure. "He was a good Marine and a fantastic leader, ma'am. When he heard - " He paused again. " - when he heard gunshots in the vicinity, single shots - not ones you'd hear in a firefight, but ones you'd hear for methodical kills - he charged ahead. He wanted to save those captive Marines, ma'am. He knew they were being murdered and he wanted to stop it."

I blew out a long breath. I almost couldn't even speak.

"And Laraza was right there," I guessed.

"And Laraza was right there," Norfolk affirmed. "He had a small detail with him. They tried to stop him. But they were killed, and he was determined."

"Those Marines and Helljumper we did save...they owe Harris their lives. Not me."

It wasn't a statement I expected an answer for, and Norfolk didn't reply. He simply stood there, his stance mirroring my own, looking off into the distance. Every day as Marines we did what we could to protect our own - but inevitably, some of us always paid the price.

"You're dismissed, Captain," I finally said.

Norfolk came immediately to attention, saluted, did an about face and walked out.

I was left alone in the command tent then, as I hadn't allowed the handful of aides and other officers back in yet. I needed this moment, this time, to recenter myself, to focus. Because if I stopped for a second to try to take it all in, I knew I'd be lost to the hurt and despair forever.

I desperately needed something to pick me up, to make me feel like what I was doing was really still worth it. As much as I'd tried to deny it over the last few weeks, what I truly needed right now was my family - Willis and our kids. I felt buried under the horror, the experiences and the pain. I needed someone to help dig me out - or at least poke a tiny air hole through so I could breathe.

That's when I knew I had to call home. It was time.

* * *

"Hello?"

"Willis, it's me."

The words felt odd to say after all this time. In reality, I guess it hadn't been all that long, really - but for me, and for the changes I'd gone through, it might as well have been a decade.

I waited as the other end of the line remained filled with silence.

Then, finally, "Natalie?"

"Yeah, honey. Hi."

"Holy shit. Are you okay? Where've you been? How come we haven't heard from you?"

Maybe I should have expected it, but suddenly tears were in my eyes. The hurt engulfed my throat and I didn't know how to answer.

"Cooper?"

"I'm here," I said, voice wavering. "I'm here, Will, but I'm not."

"What? You're okay, aren't you?"

"Yes. Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

"You don't sound like it. Can you switch this call to vid? I want to see you."

"I don't know. I can try."

After fiddling with the controls, I pressed the button, hoping the COMs hadn't been restricted.

Thankfully they weren't. Shortly after that, Willis's face appeared, looking tired and worn. His short, golden brown hair was mussed and his hazel eyes were dull - either from stress, or lack of sleep, or both. He also had a shadow of a beard, something I was sure he'd be made to shave before reporting for duty the following day.

"Oh, crap. I forgot it's the middle of the night for you guys. Sorry."

"Not a problem. I've been wondering when we'd finally hear from you. Gabe has, too. It's good to see you, Coop."

"You, too." Then the rest of his message made it through my muddled brain. "Wait. Gabe? Do the kids know - ?"

My husband shook his head. "No, just him."

" _Willis._ "

"Natalie, he's ten. I know you'll always think of him as your baby, but he's getting older and he put two and two together himself. He realized something was up with you, and I couldn't not say anything. He's been worried." Our eyes met, and he said, " _I've_ been worried. Sick. I even got your brother's help to look for you."

"Mark. I heard."

"Yeah. He said you guys got COMs back almost two weeks ago. So tell me - why haven't you called?"

I opened my mouth to reply but once again, nothing came out. It was as if my brain and mouth could no longer coordinate to make intelligible sound. I shut it again and just...sat.

Apparently, that set Willis off.

"Really? Not one thing to say? Natalie, I have been busting my _ass_ trying to keep the house running and everything going smoothly for our kids here. Your kids. Our oldest has been beside himself wondering where the fuck you are and if you're okay. And you can't even tell me _why_ none of that bothers you? Why you didn't _ever_ try to reach out before now?"

"Willis, it's not that - "

"It is, though! It is that simple! One call, Natalie! One fucking call, to soothe your worried husband and son - that's all I ask. Not an unrealistic expectation, I think, but obviously you couldn't even be bothered to do that."

It took me a moment to catch up, because this was not at all the direction I'd been expecting things to go when I'd first sat down at my personal COMs unit in my quarters. But now I was starting to get angry, too.

"Are you fucking kidding, Willis? Do you even know what happened to me?"

"Yes, Natalie, okay? I heard everything from your brother. I know you've been through...some really awful shit. I know you're probably hurting and - "

"No, you don't!" I suddenly shouted, drowning out his voice. "You don't know shit! You think a report told you everything? Do you know what they did to me? To my Marines? What _I_ had to do to some of _them_?"

His face changed then. "What - Natalie, what are you saying?"

"I'm not saying shit! I'm not defending myself for an ordeal _I_ fucking had to go through, alone! Me! This happened to _me!_ Not to you!"

He snorted. "Well, don't think it's been a picnic on our end, either, having no fucking clue what was going on with you this whole time." Finally he blew out a breath, ran a hand over his short hair, then turned back to me and asked, "Just tell me something. Any of this have to do at all with Ethan being there with you?"

I didn't even realize I was suddenly standing until the chair I was sitting in clattered to the floor behind me. "Fuck you!"

I was shaking with anger now. But little did I know, the best was yet to come.

"You know, I thought you'd at least care enough to let me know about your well-being yourself. But I truly thought you'd have more compassion for your kids than allowing them to wait and wait _and_ _wait_ for you to contact them after this."

"Don't you _ever_ make _any_ insinuation that I don't love my children with _every single thing_ in me, Willis. Ever."

"You definitely have an interesting way of showing it, Cooper."

By now I was honestly out of words. I couldn't believe that's how he felt - and what he thought of me. I had half a mind to just hang up and be done with this conversation when someone else suddenly came into the frame, dressed in pajamas with disheveled light brown hair, rubbing his eyes.

"Dad? What's going on?"

Then he looked up. My son just stared at the screen for a moment and I held my breath, until finally he broke out in a big, wide grin.

"Mom!"

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Mom, you're okay! I knew it! I knew it I knew it, but I wanted to see!"

It was the first time I'd smiled in a long while, but it was marred by the tears still welling up in my eyes - and the hurt that engulfed me from his father's words. "I love you, son. And yeah, I'm all right. I'm sorry it took me so long to call."

"It's okay, Mom. I was worried, but you're a Marine. I know you have a job to do and you can't always call home. But I miss you, and it's good to see you."

"You, too, baby. How are your brothers and sister?"

My oldest just grinned, excitement overtaking him. "Come on, Mom. I'll show you!"

"Hey, Gabriel, don't wake them up!" Willis called behind him, but Gabe was already bounding off down the hall to the twins' room with our portable COM unit.

"Here's Liam and Olivia," he said in a loud whisper. I half winced, hoping he wouldn't wake them, but both my daughter and middle son remained fast asleep. My heart swelled at seeing them, and I ached to hug and kiss them and stroke their hair as they slept. But before I could get too wrapped up in the emotions, Gabriel was already off to the next room.

"And here's Logan! Dad just got him to sleep all night again 'cause he had a cold and was up all night a while ago. It's nice when he sleeps; he's not so loud."

I nearly lost it then looking at my youngest. He was asleep in his crib, a peaceful look on his face as he slept on his back, one arm by his head and the other at his side. His pacifier glowed slightly in the darkness of the room and I missed him. I missed my still-small baby, knowing he'd only be that little for a short time now - and I was spending it here, away from him.

"Thank you, Gabe," I said once the brief tour was over. "I love you, and tell them all in the morning that, too, okay?"

"Okay, Mom. Love you, too. Here's Dad again!"

It was strange to go from the happiness and excited energy of my oldest son back to my husband, who still seemed tired and upset. I was, too. And I didn't really have anything left to say.

"I'm going to go now, Willis. Please take good care of them, and know that I'm okay out here." _Physically, at least._ "I'll try to call again when I can."

He swallowed. "Natalie, I - "

"Willis, let's not - I don't want to do this now. Honestly, I just can't. Okay?"

My husband sighed. "Okay. Goodbye."

"'Bye."

The link cut out then and I was left in the darkness and emptiness of my private quarters, thoughts and emotions swirling through my head. Far from putting me at ease, the conversation had left me reeling, and I wondered at the state of my marriage in all this. It was great to see the kids, but Willis had been another matter entirely.

Maybe after sixteen years together, this would be the very first storm we couldn't weather.


	28. Chapter 27: A New Wrinkle

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: A New Wrinkle**

After my talk with Willis, I needed to do something to keep my mind occupied so I wouldn't think. I'd called him hoping to find some small measure of solace in all this, and instead I'd only found even more hurt. I was exhausted and it was already getting dark out, but the day wasn't over yet.

I just needed to keep going. I just needed not to stop.

Since I'd been meaning to head there anyway, I found myself pulling my boots back on in my quarters and grabbed my rifle and helmet to go outside. Our prisoner wasn't as unfortunate as me, Caleb, and the others had been at the hands of the rebels - we didn't have a holding facility, so we'd spared a small room where she was simply kept under lock and guarded by MPs. The catch was that the room was on the outskirts of our perimeter and therefore not well insulated; even with the extreme temperatures she wouldn't get cold enough to freeze, but it would make for a few unpleasant hours during the night.

I would've taken that over my treatment any day.

The bitter cold wind hit as soon as I stepped outside, and in the moment before my uniform's systems compensated, I felt like ice inside and out. _Funny,_ I thought. My body finally felt in tune with my emotions.

I shut down that train of thought fast though as I trudged through the snow, occupying myself with ensuring the Marines manning our perimeter were aware of my presence with a quick hail. My leg wound was making itself felt again now, too, after heavy use during the op at the holding facility. _Should've taken it a little easier, Cooper,_ I thought to myself.

Eventually I could see the small building in the distance, and though I kept the barrel of my rifle low within the 52nd's territory, I also held the gun tighter against me, just in case. When I saw a figure approaching in the dark, I raised it again - just a bit.

"Nat, it's me," I heard inside my helmet, and in an instant I relaxed.

"Is this a private channel?" I replied back.

"Of course. I wouldn't be excluding the honorific if it weren't."

"That's not...how's the kid?"

At that Ethan's voice became slightly amused. "You mean our prisoner?"

"Yeah."

"She's doing fine. Complaining, but perfectly fine, in the grand scheme of things." There was a pause, then, "You?"

"What?"

"How are _you_ doing, Cooper?"

As we got closer we both slowed down a bit and seemed to take the last few steps towards each other leisurely. I finally stopped when he was just ahead of me, turning slightly to take in our surroundings, making sure we were truly safe.

"To be honest, not so great," I answered. "Being back here...we've had a lot to do the last couple of days, but I've also had a lot of time to think."

"Not always a good thing."

"No."

"Make that call home yet?"

I swallowed. "Yes."

"Yeah? How'd it go?"

"Ethan, I'm not getting into that with you."

He held his hands up in the dark. "Okay. Just asking." He turned in the direction he'd just come from, then added, "So, are we going to freeze our asses out here all night, or are you coming in?"

A frigid gust of wind picked up at just that moment, and my whole body shivered. "Coming in. _Definitely_ coming in."

* * *

Most of the building was occupied by our small contingent of military police, clustered largely around our prisoner's room near the front entrance. Down a long corridor there was a big empty space, though, with a raised section that looked like a stage, and that's where Ethan and I ended up sitting. With our legs dangling from the edge, I pulled off my helmet and gloves and just sat there for a minute, enjoying the brief reprieve and the fact that my mind went blank for once. I leaned back on my hands and stared out into the room, trying not to imagine the deaths of my security detail in it. I'd witnessed the scene so many times that night Garrett had left me alone in the room that I projected it now sometimes in my head, when things were quiet.

I shuddered. This was exactly why I couldn't go home.

"Natalie?"

I glanced up and saw that Ethan was sitting closer now, his rich brown hair a little mussed from taking off his own helmet. His same color eyes studied me with concern.

"Are you sure you're okay? Really?"

Infuriatingly, instead of answering the question, I found my own eyes welling up with tears again. The hurt was so intense I couldn't speak, so all I did was shake my head.

"Hey, it's all right," Ethan said, in a soft tone I hadn't heard from him in ages. "It's all right, Nat."

Somehow I found myself leaning into him and he took me in his arms. He cradled me for a long while before a harsh sob escaped me.

"Ethan, those rebels I killed the other day - "

"I know."

"And Shawn - "

"I know."

"And all the prisoners we couldn't save - "

"Shh. I know, Cooper. I know."

The tears were coming hot and fast now, like they wouldn't ever stop. "I finally saw my kids tonight, Ethan. How do I explain this to them? How do I go back?" My breath hitched, and I half-whispered, half-sobbed, "What if I do get back and I'm never _me_ again? What if their mom is gone?"

Ethan held me tighter, and I relished the warmth and feel of his body around me. I needed that right now - craved the comfort and reassurance more than he knew. "Not possible, do you hear me? You're a good mother, Natalie, and a damn good Marine. I know it's hard, but you'll get through this. You have to trust that. You will."

Rather than taking heart in that, it only made me doubt again, and fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. "But what if - "

In an instant Ethan's hand was in my hair and he pulled me to him, his lips touching mine both softly and firmly at the same time, passionate yet controlled. Before my brain had a chance to intervene, I reacted on instinct and need and kissed him back, relaxing further in his grasp and getting lost in the moment. It felt amazing just to feel _something_ again that wasn't pain and trauma and despair, and without even realizing it, I soon had one of my hands behind his head, pulling him deeper into our third kiss -

And then it was over.

I was more than a little astonished to find my ex to be the one to break our embrace. He sat looking me in the eyes for a second, as if contemplating his next move - as if he wasn't sure of himself. It was a behavior and a trait I'd never seen in him before, and I didn't know what to make of it.

"Ethan?"

He suddenly pulled back even further. "I...I have to go."

" _Ethan!_ What?"

But he'd already jumped off the short ledge and grabbed his rifle. "Duty calls, Nat!"

In my confusion the remainder of my tears dried as I watched him hustle out of the room. I was left feeling very puzzled...and very unsure of my kissing skills.

* * *

Much like my memories of the last few days, I didn't want to think about what I'd just done. Not the act, not the justification, and certainly not the consequences. I tried my best to simply keep right on rolling, because I was afraid of what it would be like in my head once I stopped. I chalked up Ethan's odd reaction to nerves or just plain reconsidering getting involved, and mentally moved on. For now.

With my rifle slung behind me and my helmet in one hand, I walked up to the door to the young rebel's "cell" and gestured to the nearest MP. "Let's open this up, Lieutenant. I want to speak to our prisoner."

"Yes, ma'am. On it."

The door to her room had been made to resemble a cell door as much as possible, albeit a crude one. Four jagged cuts near the top were for the guards to see inside and keep an eye on her. They'd also used a thick, broken piece of wood to further bar the door, and I noticed that on the inside, the two windows in the room were boarded up with the same.

Sitting inside the room on the floor, dressed in nondescript sweatpants and a sweatshirt now, sat our young prisoner. Beside her was a headlamp, likely given to her by one of the MPs for light, and a cot with a pillow and blankets sat in the opposite corner. There was also a half-eaten tray of food on a small card table, along with a bottle of water. I let out a low whistle.

"Hey. This is a lot nicer than some of the places _I've_ slept in," I said.

The girl finally looked up at me and scowled. "What do _you_ want?"

"I came to see if you've been getting treated okay. Have you?"

She scoffed at that. "Why do you care?"

I turned on the main light in the room and signaled for the MPs to leave us for a minute. I waited until they'd retreated down the hall to answer. "Well, for one thing, I'm in charge of this place. So I want to be sure that any prisoner of ours is being treated fairly." I gave her a pointed look. "Not something your side has been very concerned about, historically." _Or now._

"Oh, right, good cop. Come to talk to me about the nobility of the UNSC? Save your breath." She looked over at her tray of food then, and added, "And I think you're getting real close to war crimes with that stuff. Could hardly stomach it."

"It comes from our mess hall. It's what we eat every day."

She snorted. "Then I'd feel sorry for you, if you weren't a Marine."

It was my turn to sigh. "Look, you're young. Despite whatever propaganda you may have been fed, we're not evil. If you joined up and got in over your head, say so. Help us and we'll help you."

"Fuck no!" she shouted. "I'm not some stupid kid, all right? I joined because I _believe_ in what we're doing! I believe you _are_ evil! And like I said before, I ain't helping!"

"Okay." I paused, then said, "And for two, believe it or not, my brother-in-law was in a similar situation around your age. Found out he was a rebel the night we attacked each other."

Oddly, she nodded as if that made sense. "I thought you were married. I saw your ring." Her expression suddenly changed to amused. "But then I also saw you sucking face with Agent Hottie, and I _know_ he's not your husband."

I had to admit, that shut me up.

When I didn't reply, the young rebel simply rolled her eyes. "There's a hole in the wall in the back. I can see through it." Then she leaned slightly closer and mock whispered, "You guys should really fix that."


	29. Chapter 28: Bombs Away

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Bombs Away**

 **0605 Hours, November 16, 2560. Near the City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget. "The Briefing," Outer Colonies. Day Twenty-Eight of the Dark Side of the World**

As I sat on my bunk in my quarters, dressed only in my T-shirt, battledress pants, and socks, I couldn't help but stare for a moment at my surroundings. Nothing had been spared the night I'd come back from speaking with our prisoner, and knowing that she knew what I did - something I was only beginning to come to terms with myself - had been the last straw to set me off after a very hard week. Beside me on one side the desk lay overturned on the floor, along with the chair and some of my smaller belongings. What few changes of clothes I had with me were strewn haphazardly around the room, with my spare uniform jackets either only half-hanging still in the tiny closet, or crumpled on the bottom of it.

In three days, I hadn't bothered to pick any of it up.

At a certain point, I'd had it. I was fed up with feeling miserable all the time, with being responsible for so many things in a time of personal crisis, with Willis for not being even remotely understanding, and with Ethan for being there in a moment of need and then suddenly disappearing off the face of the fucking planet. Again.

And with myself as well, for reasons I didn't even want to fully explore yet.

And besides all of that, I had a snarky teenager for a POW that knew I had, at least in some capacity, cheated on my husband, and was likely going to milk that for all it was worth for however long she decided to keep her mouth shut about it.

I finally closed my eyes for a minute and let out a long breath. For now, there was nothing I could do about any of that. Unfortunately, time stopped for no one, and I was needed elsewhere in just a few minutes. Climbing over the mess, I made my way to the closet to pick off a jacket from the bottom, pulled it on, then sat on my bunk again to lace up my boots. After slipping on my gloves I grabbed my rifle and helmet, and then left.

"Are you happy now?" I grumbled at the sky when I walked out into the freezing morning. "You both left me here alone, and now I have no one left to turn to to tell me which way is up." I shook my head, thinking of my two dead best friends, Oliver and Dean. "Thanks, assholes."

I think they knew I only half-meant what I said.

* * *

In the cold snow, I headed towards the command tent for the important occasion. I figured any minute now, he'd be due to show up.

Not Ethan, but Cal.

Today was the day he'd finally be released from the medtent and resume his duties. That meant I'd have two ONI operatives in play once again, which in turn, meant I could avoid Ethan as much as possible from now on. Assuming he ever came back.

At least, that was my train of thought before I almost bumped right into him.

Ethan, not Cal.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him and nearly did a double-take. "Where the _hell_ have you been?"

"Good morning to you, too, Nat," he replied, sounding completely unfazed as he spared me a quick glance.

I frowned at him. "I'm serious."

"I can see that," he answered. "If you really want to know, I was off on official ONI business."

"For _three_ days? And you didn't even think to run it by me first?"

"This is out of your jurisdiction, Natalie. I can let you know as a courtesy, since you're my superior, but I'm not obligated to give you a rundown beforehand."

"Ethan - "

"It's true," my ex said in a bored tone. "You can look up the regs."

At that I grew frustrated, and it seeped into my voice. "I don't care about the regs. It just would've been _nice_. To know." I finally let out a sigh. "Are we ever going to talk about...you know..."

"Our kiss?" He finally looked over at me again and smirked. "Maybe. But now might not be the best time for that."

"Was it that bad?"

I blurted it out before I could stop myself, and Ethan laughed.

"Not at all, Cooper. Far from it."

We walked together the rest of the way to the CP, which coincidentally wasn't much further. Once inside I spotted my XO right away, with Lieutenant Lloyd standing right beside her. Despite everything, I couldn't help but smile to myself a bit. It was good to see him back in action.

I went up to him first and held out my hand. "Glad to have you back, Lieutenant."

He took my hand and shook it. "Thank you, ma'am. It's good to be here again."

"You may want to confer with your colleague," I said to him in a low voice, casting a sideways glance at Ethan. "I gather he has some new information to share from his assignment."

"No need, Colonel," my ex interjected, apparently overhearing. He looked over at Brewer as well to include her in the conversation. "Since we're all here, I was going to give the three of you the brief."

"I'd like my other battalion commanders present as well," I said.

Ethan nodded. "Yes, ma'am. By all means."

Major Brewer took that as her cue to clear the room. "All non-essential personnel, we need the tent."

In a minute, aides and less senior officers - including my head of security, Gunnery Sergeant York - had scrambled out. Five minutes later, Major Wayne Mullen, in charge of the 904th Infantry, and the acting commander for the 8th Engineers, Captain Norfolk, entered the tent.

With Ethan standing by the holotable and the rest of us clustered around it, he began.

"A few days ago I conducted a standard interview of our new prisoner," he said. "She's young and fairly new to everything, fiesty, but she actually had some good information to give us." He activated the holotable, projecting the same video of Laraza getting weapons and equipment from Jackals that Brewer had shown me when I'd first returned. "We've known for a week now that the rebels have been gearing up for a fight. Now, thanks to a slip of the tongue from our captive, we know they haven't actually used these weapons yet, but have been stockpiling them. Here."

A tap of the table conjured up a map of a large compound - but given its surroundings, I recognized the area right away.

"Shit," Brewer said for me. "That's right near the city."

Ethan nodded. "Yep. Ladies and gents, here's the next big feat we have to pull off. Destroying a rebel weapons depot right here in Cordonnes." He glanced up from the map and gave each of us a look in turn. "I don't think I need to point out that while this is in the outskirts of the city, it's by a densely populated spot. Any blast or large fire could engulf civilian homes and businesses as well. And however much the rebels have provoked us lately, the UNSC brass is clear: don't start shit with the civvies."

He paused then and I could almost feel everyone looking at that one spot on the map - the weapons depot we somehow had to get rid of, yet without harming day-to-day life for the locals.

"Thankfully, I've already taken the liberty of touring the place - mostly from the outside, but inside a bit as well, thanks to sending in tiny drones through the air vents. I'll make the details available to the datapad of everyone present. Questions?"

Much to my surprise, it was Captain Norfolk who spoke up first. "Sir, you mentioned you've already reconned the place. Who's running it? The rebs or the Jackals?"

"I only saw evidence of insurgents while I was there, but that doesn't mean they aren't still associating - or that they weren't Jackals elsewhere in the compound."

"What's the enemy strength like, Commander?" Caleb wondered, and Ethan answered promptly.

"Could be high for a cache of this size; I wasn't able to get a clear number from the outside, unfortunately."

"I've got a question," Major Brewer said then, turning to me. "How soon are we doing this?"

"That's up to the colonel," Ethan replied.

All eyes were on me all of a sudden, and I felt a little uncomfortable. I didn't have an answer for them before I looked over the data the spook had gathered. "I'll look over the files this morning, then send out orders by tonight."

My ex nodded again. "I think that's a good plan, ma'am. I'd like to add that, based on the footage we saw earlier, this place seems very important to the rebel leader. Given that we lack solid intel on Laraza's location at the moment, it may benefit us to go after this supply cache and see what comes of it. Respectfully, Colonel."

I folded my arms across my chest, considering. "You think this may lure him out."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I guess there's no debate, then," I said. "We go in as soon as possible."

* * *

As soon as the briefing was over my battalion commanders filed out, and the other personnel returned. Ethan and Lieutenant Lloyd disappeared for a while, likely to catch up on his new findings, and Major Brewer and I were left alone by the table.

"Do you believe the spook, ma'am?" she asked.

"Which part?"

"That this may lead us to Laraza?"

I shrugged. "Can't say for sure, but I agree with Eth - with Commander Ackerson's assessment. It's the best shot we have right now of not only striking a blow to his enterprise, but also forcing him out of hiding."

"I hope you're right." She looked off into the distance for a moment and added, "Every time I look at Cal, and what he's had to endure...it makes my blood boil. I want Laraza taken down. Caleb is a good man. He didn't deserve what happened to him." She turned her gaze to me then, shaking her head. "Neither did you, Colonel."

I sighed. "Well, what happened happened. Taking out Laraza now won't change that."

But I had to admit, it would feel like a great accomplishment.

* * *

I was on my way out of the tent when I once again bumped into Ethan, who was on his way in. We stopped and stared at each other for a moment, both taken aback, before my ex turned on his heel and followed me out.

"Natalie, wait up."

"Not now. I need to get started on this whole new clusterfuck you've dug up."

" _Natalie._ "

I turned on him then, as soon as we were out of sight and earshot of the CP, exasperated. "Oh, now you want to be serious?"

He gave me a puzzled look. "What?"

"You kiss me and then disappear for _three_ days? What am I supposed to make of that?"

"Why?" His smirk returned. "Did I leave you wanting more?"

I threw my hands up and started walking away again. "See? Exactly that."

"Oh, come on, Nat. I'm joking."

"Is that what this is to you?" I asked him, stopping in place. "A joke? A big fucking game?" Before he could answer, I went on. "Just tell me - are you after me because I'm married? Because you want to see if you can snag someone that's already taken? An ego boost? Or is it because of _who_ I'm married to, and you've always had this secret desire to get back at him for it?"

"What? No!"

"Then what is it, Ethan? Why go after me when you could literally have your pick of any woman here? What are you not saying?"

Ethan was pacing now, clearly upset. But he finally stopped and looked at me, exploding at the questioning.

"Because I'm in love with you, okay?" he yelled. "I love you, Natalie Cooper. And I know that you love Willis, and you have a family, and you'll never choose me. That's why I left two years ago after the fight!" He took in a breath to calm himself, then said, "You made it very clear to me, more than once, that you chose him, and that you always would. And given our history, who could blame you?" He shook his head. "I knew when I fell for you on Requiem and back on Earth I had no chance, especially when you two were having another baby, so I left."

It took me a moment to process everything. I could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth; I'd thought that all of this, including our kiss the other night, had been entirely for his own amusement - at my expense. Instead, he was hurting. He felt something real for me, and I didn't know how to even begin to react to that.

"So what are we doing here, then, huh?" I finally asked. "Why...all this, when you know it can't go anywhere?"

Ethan seemed at a loss himself for once. He stood staring at the ground for a while before replying softly, "I don't know, Cooper. This was clearly a mistake."

And with that, he walked away.


	30. Chapter 29: Upping the Stakes

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Upping the Stakes**

 **1657 Hours, November 30, 2560. **UNSC Chariot Naval Air Base, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars.** "The Note," Inner Colonies. Day Forty-Two of the Dark Side of the World**

It had been almost three weeks now since Cooper had called home, and Willis had spent most of it oscillating between being angry at her and feeling guilty about their fight. In any case, he'd been thinking about her a lot, especially at night when the kids were finally all asleep and the house was quiet. He didn't regret being confrontational during their call; in his eyes she'd messed up and he'd wanted her to know that. He did, however, regret that they hadn't had the time or ability to talk things through, and the longer Natalie waited to contact him again, the less sure he felt that this was something they would get past.

Her being alone on a planet light years away with Ethan didn't help, either.

 _And neither does this type of thinking,_ he reminded himself. _Cooper has never given you a reason to worry about that before. She'll do the right thing._

But he also had to remind himself that he wasn't fully aware yet of the extent to which his wife may have changed. And changed she had, given that it was now two weeks since their talk and he still hadn't heard anything further from her. It wasn't like her to be so distant and silent, to not want to repair things or check in on their family. Although he didn't want to admit it, it often had him worried.

Hawk finally sighed and ran a hand over his short hair. Being in his head wasn't doing him any favors. He'd just have to be patient and wait.

"Hey, man. You okay?"

Willis glanced up to see his best friend, Captain Brandon Heat, had wandered into his office. It was just about time to head home for most of the personnel on base, so out in the hall things were getting quiet. Hawk figured most had probably already left and hadn't even realized Brandon was still there.

"Yeah," he answered. "Just tired."

"And worried about Cooper?"

"And worried about Cooper," Willis confirmed.

"Well, if it helps, just know that a lot of people see you two as the golden couple," Heat said. "Myself included. You've been together forever, and both gone through a lot of shit. That means something, you know? Whatever bump you're hitting in the road, I know you guys'll get through it."

Willis used to be sure of that, too. Now...he didn't know. "Actually, that doesn't help at all. She hasn't called and I just...I get this feeling that maybe she doesn't care."

Heat surprised him by giving his friend a vigorous shake of the head. "No way, Willis. I've seen the way she looks at you, even after all these years. You've got nothing to worry about."

"But with the shit she's going through now?"

"I'm telling you, I don't ever see _that_ changing."

Major Hawk finally came around his desk to gather up his things, and Heat clapped him once on the back.

"Don't sweat it, bud. Everybody goes through dips. You guys just hit yours a little late." Then he grinned. "And if you _really_ want to forget your problems, you'll come out with me tonight, for burgers and beers and good company."

Willis smiled a little, too. "That sounds fantastic, but my parents are pretty much done cutting me slack right now. I've got to head home to the kids."

"All right, man. Then let me know when you hire a babysitter one night and we'll go."

"Sure thing."

Captain Heat stepped out then, and Willis had just picked up his cover to leave when his gaze caught the small photo on his desk. In it, he, Cooper, and their children were smiling. For a minute, he wondered if they'd ever get to have a moment like that again.

* * *

Hawk felt his datapad buzz in his pocket on the way home, but he didn't stop to check it until he was in the driveway. He knew as soon as he walked in it would be chaos, so he decided to read the message outside first. As soon as he opened it up and read through it, he was grateful he had. It was from Major General Bolowsky.

 _Major Hawk,_

 _I have forwarded this request from your wife, which I have approved and is effective immediately - your air wing will be it. See below:_

 _TOP SECRET! EYES ONLY!_

 _/TO: Major General Aiden Bolowsky, Commander of Planetary Ground Forces, Desmond, Regent State, Mars. Charter Territory, UNSC Marine Corps_

 _FROM: Colonel Natalie M. Cooper, Commanding Officer 52nd Combat Regiment, 1st Marine Division, UNSC Marine Corps_

 _MESSAGE:_

 _Sir,_

 _We've hit a major roadblock in our mission here on Puget. I won't go into specifics here, but suffice it to say that enemy strength is far greater than we anticipated, and we're going to need more firepower than what we've got to take care of it. I'm sending an encrypted data packet along with this message with the details. I realize it will take time to get the reinforcements in that we require, but I will handle that in the meantime._

 _I am requesting the additional support of an air combat unit and an armored company. I think you'll see what I mean once you view the packet._

 _Respectfully,_

 _Colonel Natalie M. Cooper, Commanding Officer 52nd Combat Regiment_

 _/END MESSAGE/_

Willis was still trying to digest the stunning news when his datapad buzzed in his hand again. A second message appeared, and Hawk knew what it was before he even opened it.

Orders to deploy. He and his air wing were going to Puget.

He sat in the car a lot longer than he should have, wondering at the coincidence and going through a mix of emotions. He hated to leave his kids, but a part of him was excited to see Natalie again. Another part of him dreaded it.

The major didn't know what he would find on Puget - that was the most frightening thing of all. Between waiting to deploy and the trip there, he knew they wouldn't arrive for a few weeks at least - probably closer to a month from now. A lot could change in that time.

Eventually he ran a hand over his face and finally decided to go inside and give everyone the news. In the past, he'd always known where he stood with Cooper. Now he wasn't so sure, and the uncertainty was taking a toll. For now, though, he had to focus on his parents and his kids - none of whom would be happy about the new development.

"Daddy!"

"Hi, Liv!"

Willis put on a grin for his kids as he enveloped his young daughter in a hug, but felt a sharp stab of pain in his chest when he pulled back and looked at her. She looked so much like her mother it hurt. Liam came up next with his crop of brown hair, and Hawk's mother approached with Logan, who gave him a big smile that Willis couldn't help but reciprocate.

Gabriel was last, and when their eyes met, Willis again saw an echo of his mother in him.

And her perceptive mind, as well.

"Dad?" Gabe asked. "What's wrong?"

All eyes directed to him then, and Hawk finally released a sigh.

"I got some news this afternoon that none of you are going to like. Your mom's fine," he said right off the bat, to avoid any worries about that - even though from the sounds of it, she did seem to be in danger. "But there will be some big changes coming up. I'm leaving for the Outer Colonies in a couple days, too."

While the kids and his mother were stunned, it was his father who processed the announcement first.

"Where to, son?"

Willis took a happy Logan from his mother's arms and hugged him close. "I'll be joining Natalie's unit there. We've been called in as reinforcements."


	31. Chapter 30: Public Enemy Number One

**Chapter Thirty: Public Enemy Number One**

 **One Week Earlier. 1355 Hours, November 22, 2560. City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget. "The Scramble," Outer Colonies. Day Thirty-Four of the Dark Side of the World**

I knew immediately that I hated being in the city.

Since my mission to Khan three years ago, I'd always been told it was best to keep an eye on the civvies in a rebel-occupied planet, as they might not be what they presented themselves to be. I'd known this, and yet I hadn't. I'd still been of the belief that belonging to the same species - after waging a devastating, decades-long war with not one, but two extraterrestrial factions - was enough to give us some common ground with the insurgents, even if they abhorred us. Now, I knew better. Now, I realized that was utter naive fantasy, and I knew exactly how to treat any "civilian" that made a wrong move towards myself or one of my men.

But still, I wasn't here to try to pick a fight. I hoped this could be kept contained, for our sakes as well as the true innocents in all this. Yet I could already see, by the fact that a curious crowd was gathering at the base of the building we'd occupied within the city limits to observe the weapons depot, that things might soon take a turn for the worse.

"We seem to have an audience," a voice behind me said, and I instinctively tightened my grip on my gun.

"Commander Ackerson," I said in return. "I believe I - "

He released a sigh. "Yes, Natalie, you did. You told me to go through Lloyd for all communications from now on. I get it."

"Then why aren't you respecting - "

"I am doing nothing _but_ respecting. I told you I loved you, and you asked me to keep my distance, and I have been. But now we've got work to do that's not always possible - or quick enough - to do with a middle man."

"So you're approaching me, as head spook, about the...situation down below?"

"Yes, ma'am. That and only that."

I finally sighed and lowered my rifle a bit, taking a step back from the edge of the rooftop. "Okay. Go ahead. What is it?"

"I was wondering if you'd like me to do something about the civvies. Make sure they don't interfere."

I shook my head. "No, not yet. I don't want things getting dangerous for us, but I don't think they've done much yet to warrant our attention that way, and I'd like to keep confrontation to a minimum."

"Understood."

Ethan didn't appear to agree with my orders, but to his credit, he said nothing. He still didn't leave though, either, and it made me a little annoyed.

I realized this couldn't be easy for him after what he'd confessed, but being around me had to make it worse. For my part, I felt bad enough for doing what I'd done once; I wasn't going to repeat the same mistake. Pushing my ex away was a good solution, then, both to protect his feelings and to ensure we maintained a professional relationship from here on out, rather than an ever more intimate personal one.

"Anything else?" I finally asked.

My ex released a sigh. "No, ma'am."

"Okay, then. You should - "

A loud cheer rose from the streets below, and I couldn't help my curiosity. I raised my rifle a bit and peeked over the edge, but couldn't find the source of their jubilation. Perplexed, I kept looking around without any visual enhancements, not wanting to do so with my gun's scope to give the wrong impression. Apparently, though, that didn't matter to the locals, because the moment I started to pull back from my perch, a pair of gunshots rang out.

I immediately dipped my head beneath the ledge, as did Ethan and members of my security detail, coming up beside us now to cover me.

"The fuck was that?" one of my Marines cried, voicing my thoughts.

"I'll take a look," Ethan volunteered, but I grabbed hold of his sleeve as soon as he tried to stand.

"Don't!" I shouted. "You don't know what's going on. They've probably got a bead on us now."

"Well, someone has to - "

A prolonged burst of fire came our way then and we all ducked even further. I cursed just how low the ledge was as we were forced to nearly flatten ourselves against it to keep from getting hit.

"Keep the colonel down!" Gunnery Sergeant York yelled through the COM channel, and I felt his arm on my back, holding me there. "Duncan, see what's - "

One of the PFCs beside us, not of my security detail, raised his head just inches above the ledge for a quick look. A second barrage came his way and he was killed instantly, falling backwards in a spray of blood without so much as a groan. The bright liquid pooled beneath the hole in his helmet and started to spread, and I felt my anger boiling over.

"Fuck this," I said, and shook off York's hand, brought my gun up before my head, and returned fire. "Let's go, Marines! Tag 'em!"

We all brought our guns up then and sent a hail of lead their way. The fire coming towards us momentarily ceased and we were able to get a better look around, finally spotting that the shots hadn't come from below, but from one of the rooftops near ours. Ethan was the first to find them.

"There!" he cried. "I got 'em, Colonel. There's a whole squad up on the left!"

"Take them out, now!"

The enemy started firing towards us again just seconds later, and I had to duck once more as a trio of bullets whizzed right past my head. My heart pounded in my chest at the close call, but I reloaded my battle rifle and popped right back up, squeezing the trigger in tight bursts at the rooftop. Using my scope, I could see each of the rebels clearly now that I knew where to look, and hit two - one in the head, one in the chest - as they popped up from cover themselves. I couldn't say it felt good, because it didn't, but it did feel like justice for the Marine they'd killed.

Down below, I heard members of the crowd screaming and cheering at the skirmish, all at once. Some were afraid of the gunfire, others excited at the prospect of my Marines and I dying. It made me even angrier, and, ducking low, I scrambled behind Ethan and my security detail to the corner of the roof, where I could get a better shot at our adversaries.

I realized the mistake of isolating myself, however, the instant a single, loud _crack_ sounded and split the ledge inches from my face.

"Sniper!" my ex called out, then I watched as he aggressively grabbed hold of Gunny York's armor. "Get her out of here, Marine! Get her out of here _now!_ "

Still ducked behind what was left of the ledge, I quickly opened a private channel between us and said, "I'm not going anywhere, Ethan."

"The hell you are!" he barked back. "You've already been captured, I'm not going to let you get killed! All due respect, Colonel, but you are done here."

"Ackerson - !"

"Ma'am, we need to get you out!"

This time it was York, and I glanced up to find him already in front of me, my security detail running low behind him. He pulled me out of my sitting position bodily and onto my feet, and with my Marines and Ethan providing suppressive fire on our six, the gunnery sergeant and another member of my team covered me with their bodies and rushed me to the stairwell that led back into the building.

We went down the first set of stairs fast, until I skittered to a stop on the first landing and took in a breath, breathing hard now.

"Gunny, what the hell was that?" I asked him, and he finally backed off a bit. Physically, at least.

"Ma'am, this site is dangerous. It's gotten too hot for your presence, and we need to get you somewhere safer."

"Not if I don't ask to be removed!"

"Yes, ma'am!" he shouted back. If he were anything other than a grizzled vet, I'm sure he would have surprised himself at the outburst, but York didn't even blink an eye. "It is our job to _protect_ you, Colonel. In matters of security, that overrides your express order to remain. Ma'am." He took a breath himself, then said, "My apologies, Colonel, but Commander Ackerson did the right thing here. Now let's get you out, okay? None of us want to see you dead, or injured, or interred again. I'm sure you don't want that, either."

It took a moment for my head to clear, for the adrenaline from the fight and the rush down the stairs to die down a bit, but when it did, I nodded. "Okay. Let's move."

York nodded as well and stepped past me to take point, holding his weapon to bear. I did the same, following behind, with the remainder of my security team bringing up the rear.

We took the stairs two at a time, practically flying down the stairwell even with all our gear, until we hit the bottom. There, Gunny York came to an abrupt halt, stacking up by the doorway with two other Marines and pausing to listen to the commotion outside - to see if any rebels had anticipated our exit and were waiting for us to emerge. The brief lull felt long to me but was probably less than twenty seconds. Then we were once again on the move.

"I take point," York stated before we left. "Two Marines behind, then the colonel, then the rest. Don't box her in to make her conspicuous - just be careful."

Acknowledgement lights winked green, and I gave the senior noncom the go-ahead to move when ready. I saw him take in a breath, and then the bitter cold wind hit our uniforms in a rush of fresh air.

For a moment it was sensory overload between the deep chill and the frenetic sounds of fighting up top - and the raucous crowd here below in the streets. We didn't burst in on the middle of the pack, but we could hear the noise coming from the far side of the building. In front of me York breathed a sigh of relief over the COM, likely just as thankful as me that we hadn't happened right into the mob.

"Got lucky," I said to him via a private channel, and he nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. Follow me."

We'd just started to pick up the pace away from the building when an explosion sounded, right above us. Debris rained down on our uniforms for a minute. Then a rebel body hit the ground several meters ahead.

I didn't even have time to be shocked. I quickly keyed the general COM and yelled, "Sitrep, now!"

"Rooftop is secure, Colonel," came the hurried voice of Captain Norfolk. "A couple of Marines got hit, but - "

"Ackerson?"

It took him a beat longer to answer, and I unconsciously held my breath until he did.

"Present and fine, ma'am."

I tried not to let my relief seep into my words too much. "Good. Keep me updated."

"Will do."

When I returned my attention to my surroundings, I saw that Gunny York had already moved up ahead along with another Marine from my security detail - the remainder was formed up loosely on me. I looked out in the streets and then glanced at York, and he gave me a thumbs up. It seemed safe to cross over to the next street, so I did, along with three more men from the team.

"I know you gave express orders on what to do if things got hot, Colonel, but respectfully, I'd like to alter that plan. It's just you we're trying to get out, so I think discretion would be wise here. But it's your call."

Hearing the roar of the crowd just beyond, I looked at him and said, "Right. Your show, Gunny. Just remember to give that sniper perch a wide berth."

"Roger that."

I had to say I was just a bit grateful to be following someone else's lead for once. I'd felt the same regarding Ethan's handling of my rescue - it was a welcome respite after everything that had happened, and it gave me a moment to breathe. What I hadn't exactly counted on given our current position was the peace getting shattered by gunfire yet again - this time dangerously close to my boots.

"Rebs!" York shouted, immediately taking cover behind a bus stop weather cover.

On the plus side, it was heated. I felt the warmth emanating from the surface as I scrambled forward myself and threw my body in right beside him, barely ducking beneath another volley of lead. Rifle tight in my hands, I glanced backward and saw my team trying to do the same, either diving for nearby cover or dropping prone in the snow.

These were my men, here to protect me. I had to keep them safe and alive in return. _Not like my last team,_ I thought.

I'd failed them. I'd let them down. It wouldn't happen again.

"Fire back, Marines!" I yelled, going around York to bring up my gun. "Do it now!"

I could see now that the rebel group was small, three men armed with automatic weapons and secondary guns either holstered or slung behind their backs. They meant business.

Sadly for them, so did I.

I tagged the first as he popped out of cover and aimed down the sights; my trigger finger was faster. His body jerked back after being hit and landed in a puff of snow, a visible wave of heat rising from the wound into the frigid air. He shouted in pain and surprise, but it didn't carry past the street due to the commotion of tens of others on the opposite side. In the rush his buddies hankered down behind their own cover, and that's when I gestured to my team still in the street.

"Get to cover! Move, now!"

My Marines did so immediately, rising up from the ground with snow falling from their chests as they raced for nearby spots that would provide better protection from the enemy. And it was a good thing they did, because just as I glanced up, I saw four more rebels running in behind the two that remained. Our quick exit was very rapidly bottling up, and we needed it open once more if we were to make it out without being spotted by the growing mob.

If that happened, I could only imagine what would occur to our team of less than ten Marines against _that_.

Ducking back behind my own cover, I exchanged a look with Gunny York and he nodded.

I watched as he messed with something in his hands, then suddenly popped up and yelled, "Frag out!"

The gunnery sergeant had a strong arm, and the live grenade sailed past the cover of the first two rebels to hit dirt just feet from the ones joining the fight. We weren't close enough to see their expressions, but I could only imagine their eyes went wide as they realized what that meant for them.

Seconds later the explosive went off admist the screams.

I stayed ducked until the reverberation passed, then peeked over the side of the bus stop. Two rebels lay dead in the street, while a third and fourth were moaning. One, I could see from here, was missing half his leg.

I had to take in a deep breath to continue, but York was already on the move. With the last two rebs going for blood, the senior noncom sprinted ahead for the next cover, trying to move in. I glanced back at the rest of the team and gestured them to do the same, then let loose a long succession of bursts from my battle rifle to cover them.

By now the crowd had to know something more was going on, and I worried that some of the civvies would come investigate. I hoped the action up above muffled some of our movements, or at least kept their attention hooked.

"We need to wrap this up, Gunny!" I said through the COM, and York replied right away.

"Yes, ma'am! We'll cover as you move ahead, and take these last guys out!"

I nodded to myself and got into position to spring up from cover just as soon as the sound of gunfire grew. _Three, two, one..._

"Go!"

Holding my rifle hard against my chest, I rose quickly and sprinted for York's position, dodging bullets all the way. Somewhere in the mess one of the last couple rebs got killed as he tried gunning for me. That left just one when I planted myself right beside my team leader, safe for the moment.

The cold air came in spikes through my lungs as I breathed hard. It made me uncomfortable and sick, but we had to see this through to get out.

I slapped York on the shoulder and quickly brought up my gun, aiming down my sights for the last rebel, but he was smart. He was down so low we couldn't reach him from here, so I called out over the COM to the rest of our team instead.

"Marines, flank him! Move up on the left now and let's get this done. We'll keep his attention here."

The gunnery sergeant and I had just risen up to provide suppressive fire when, without warning, a rebel grenade came sailing our way. And it looked just about ready to go off.

"It's cooked!" one of the Marines cried, and before I could even think, I jumped for it.

It was going to land amongst my team. I couldn't lose them all again. I wanted it to be me.

"Colonel, _no!_ "

I hit the ground hard, the weight of myself and all my gear crashing on top of the explosive. I curled myself around it as best I could, to contain the inevitable blast, and then -

I waited to die, to burst into a million pieces, but nothing happened.

Instead I held my breath and kept my eyes shut as I heard another long burst of gunfire, only belatedly realizing it was our own. Then York's relieved voice came through the COM.

"Enemy neutralized," he said matter-of-factly. Then, closer, "Colonel Cooper? Are you okay?"

My heart was pounding so hard in my ears that I barely heard him, but somehow my limbs got the message to move. A little shakily at first, I rose to a crawling position, remaining on all fours for a moment as I blinked down at the grenade beneath me.

It was smoking, but it hadn't gone off.

A Marine beside York chuckled. "Holy shit, ma'am. You are one lucky son of a bitch."

That earned a sharp glare from York as he quickly scooped me up out of the way with both hands underneath my armpits. I stood on my own when he released me, and watched as he picked up the dud explosive and chucked it away. Then he pointed a finger at me.

"Besides being your commanding officer, the colonel just saved your life. Show some respect."

"Yes, Gunny. Sorry, ma'am. And thank you."

I held my hands up. "No need. You'd do the same for me." I looked out across the helmeted faces around me. "All of you. No harm, no foul this time. So let's get moving."

Though my tone had been steady and even, I felt anything but on the inside. That had been one close call I hadn't ever expected to make it out alive from. It felt...odd in a way to still be here. Alive and upright.

But I had to lock it up fast and keep going. We still needed to get clear of the city before things got worse.

As we jogged as a group down the street, we passed by the bodies of the rebels we'd just downed. I turned my head to look while we ran by, noting that both the insurgents injured in the blast had now succumbed to the cold and their injuries.

Combat was never pretty, but today felt especially dark to me. I hadn't thought I'd ever get used to seeing dead civilian bodies during the Human-Covenant War. This was different. This was us against our own. Somehow it made it all much worse.

"We've got a few blocks to go to get to the outskirts," York said to me, unaware of my inner turmoil. "After that we can hunker down for a bit, make sure no one's behind us, and then we can start moving in on the objective."

 _The weapons depot,_ I thought. That was our true goal here today. I had no doubt Captain Norfolk would keep things secure on the rooftop - now they just had to get the civvies clear, and we'd be golden.

"Except it's never that simple, is it?" I muttered to myself inside my helmet.

York turned back at me for a second. "Ma'am?"

"Nothing, Gunny. Let's keep on task."


	32. Chapter 31: Escalation

**Chapter Thirty-One: Escalation**

The sun was nearing the horizon when Gunnery Sergeant York finally decided it was time to venture out again. By then the sounds from outside the building we'd taken refuge in had almost ceased, as the cold only got worse with the light gone, and less of the locals were willing to go about their business in the elements. It was safer now - in theory - to reemerge.

I was glad; sitting here holed up for the last few hours while waiting to make our move had been difficult for me. I was used to doing, not staying put.

As the senior non-com stepped past me to the front door, I tracked him until he'd reached it, then watched as he gripped his rifle tighter in his hands, barrel pointed down but alert as he took a quick peek outside. Satisfied with what he saw, he took a moment longer to be sure, then finally glanced over at me.

"We're clear now, Colonel," he said. "No hostiles that I can see. No civvies, either."

I released a long breath. "Good. We should start heading for the rendezvous point, then." I looked around the room. "Everybody gear up. I'll radio Captain Norfolk."

While the surrounding Marines did as I'd ordered, I took a second to stand and stretch before picking up my own rifle and slinging it behind my back. Then I grabbed my helmet from a nearby stoop and pulled it on.

"Norfolk, this is Colonel Cooper. We're just about ready to move here. Give me a sitrep."

There was a brief pause, then, "Colonel? I was told Commander Ackerson is on his way to your location. Said he'd brief you when he arrived."

I didn't even want to respond to that. "I asked for _your_ assessment, Captain. Not - "

There was a sudden noise at the entrance and instantly nine guns went up, including mine.

Gunny York stepped up first. "Come out and show yourself. _Now_."

"It's just a friendly," I heard a male voice answer. "Ackerson."

Everyone's weapons went down as fast as they'd come up.

"Enter, sir," York said.

Ethan pushed through the doorway covered in snow and slightly shivering, not surprisingly. I was torn between being glad to see him doing well after the fighting, and yet annoyed that he'd come after us instead of just meeting at the RV point, as planned. I hoped it wasn't for me but had to think it was, even though I'd made it clear I didn't want that kind of attention from him anymore.

"Thank you, Gunny," he said to York, then turned his gaze to me. "I'll give you all a brief rundown of what's happening out there, but first I need a moment to converse with the colonel in private."

"I'm all ears, Commander," I replied, speaking loudly enough to be heard by all, and beckoned him forward. "Let's make this quick. I've been waiting to get this show on the road long enough already."

"Yes, ma'am. It won't take long."

My security detail dispersed and kept to the front of the room while Ethan and I ventured further inside. Once we'd positioned ourselves out of earshot, and out of sight, he pulled off his helmet and rubbed the snow fluffs off his sleeves.

"We need to talk," my ex said without preamble.

I stood in front of him with my arms crossed and pulled up my visor. "Yes, we definitely do. You can't skirt around orders just to come check on me when I expressly asked you to - "

"Oh, no. Not this again. Right now we talk about the fact that I heard you _jumped on a live grenade_? Natalie, what the hell?"

"Not your subordinate, not your spouse, not your problem."

"Oh, really? So you think the fact that the CO of the entire regiment could have died is not cause for concern for the whole mission? To the hundreds of men and women under your command who are devoted to you and look to you for orders and leadership? You don't think that's a _problem_?"

"Again, not yours."

My ex let out an exasperated sigh. "Who's should it be then, huh? Willis's? Because I'm sure he'd be more than happy to hear about this, too."

At that I grew angry. "Leave my husband out of this. None of this is his - or your - choice to make. It's mine, and I'm done letting people die for me."

"Is that what this is about? Because I get the feeling sometimes that maybe, after everything that's happened to you, you may just have a death wish."

I chuckled darkly at that. "I have four kids to get back to, Ethan. I wasn't looking to go out with a bang, trust me. I just..." I shifted my stance, uncomfortable. "I'll do what I have to to protect my men this time. I need to."

"But you don't, Cooper," Ethan replied firmly. "You've got it fucking backwards. They're here for you. _You_ are not expendable. You are the last person we should ever lose, because your death would _cripple_ this mission. How do you not see that?" He paused a moment, then looked me in the eyes and added, "Like it or not, you're important now - and have been for a long time. You need to start acting like it. Not for yourself, not for ego, but for everyone around you who's counting on you to see this through. We _need_ you."

"I just - "

Ethan rolled his eyes. "I know you're concerned with doing the 'right' thing. Trust me, the right thing here is to keep yourself alive."

I blew out a breath I hadn't even realized I was holding. "Okay."

"Okay. No more crazy stunts." His voice went low for a second. "Because besides all that, I don't know I could take it."

I swallowed. "Ethan..."

Our eyes met again, and they held there for a while in silence. It felt like time was suspended, and I waited for...something. I wasn't sure what. Ethan flinched, then hesitated, then finally moved to pull his helmet back on. And the moment passed.

"Come on. I'll get you and your team briefed, and then it's high time we get after that weapons depot."

* * *

Once back out with the others, Ethan waited for my team to gather loosely around him before he assumed his ONI persona and began.

"I'll get right into it," he said. "After our brief incursion earlier this afternoon, Captain Norfolk was able to get the rooftop secure and disperse the crowd. It took a couple hours, and then we sat tight again, observing the weapons depot under the guise of mapping out the city." He gave us all a look, each in turn. "It looks like there's more activity there than we were anticipating, so it'll be important to stay sharp when we go in. Also - " He gestured down at himself, the snow now melting on his battledress pants and boots. "As you can see, the weather's made a turn for the worse. It's not quite whiteout conditions yet, but it could be headed that way soon, so my suggestion would be to make our move now."

At this point he looked to me. "Colonel. As always, the call is yours to make."

I felt everyone's eyes shift, but this time, rather than discomfort, I was ready for it.

"I have no problem with your assessment, Commander," I answered. "You heard what he said, Marines. Now's the time. Let's rejoin Captain Norfolk and get started."

* * *

Ethan wasn't kidding; it was indeed even colder than usual outside, if possible, and already snowing hard. This was going to make things a lot more difficult - but given what had occurred in the city earlier, it was now or never. We'd have to make due despite the weather and push on.

"Norfolk, this is Cooper," I said over an open channel. "We're heading to the RV point now. Ackerson is with us."

"Understood, ma'am. We'll be waiting."

The cold was tough to bear in the waning light, but with our uniforms' systems working overtime and all of us hustling to get in position fast, before conditions got even worse, we made decent time. Eventually, with the weapons depot looming close, I called for a halt and hailed Captain Norfolk yet again.

"Darren, we're here. Give me the skinny."

"Eighth Engineers are in position, Colonel. We're ready to enter at your command."

I took in a deep breath. This was it. I glanced back at Ethan, and though our visors were both down and we couldn't see each other's expressions, I knew he was staring back. I blew out the breath and ordered quietly, "Go."

Gripping my gun tight, I crouched by the wall of the small abandoned barn we'd designated as our meet-up spot and waited, impatient, for the next update. It was something I'd had to do more often than not on this mission, as I wanted to be down there myself, but given all that had happened so far - especially today - I tried to keep steady and lay low for once. It was killing me, and my ex knew it.

"That's it?" he asked, slowly moving up beside me.

At a loss as to what to do with myself in the meantime, but not wanting to get into any nervous-seeming gestures in front of my men, I stood and folded my arms across my chest, involuntarily shivering against the freezing temps. "What?"

"Just 'go'?"

"Yes. They know what to do." And what not to, given the depot's proximity to the city.

Still, Ethan persisted. "And Norfolk? You think he's ready?"

"He's capable enough to be my eyes and ears. But no, I don't think he should at the head of my batt - of the Eighth on his own." I sighed. "If the circumstances were different..."

Ethan chuckled. "They're still yours in a way, Cooper. Now you've just got more than them to babysit."

I snorted. "Yeah. Thanks for reminding me."

While I was out here, my XO, Major Brewer, had remained to oversee things at our main camp. I trusted she'd let me know if anything went on over there, so I wasn't worried about that at the moment. Right now, my focus was on what lay ahead here - and what my Marines would find inside the place. The spook had done a good job with the recon, but there'd also been additional info he'd been unable to fully pin down about the cache. I guess we'd find out shortly how bad - or benign - the situation really was. I continued to wait, channel open.

 _"Contacts!"_

 _Not benign at all,_ I thought to myself, and immediately tensed up.

Before I even registered my own feelings, Ethan's hand was on my shoulder, squeezing.

"Easy. We knew there'd be _some_ resistance."

I glanced around at my detail; thankfully, they'd made themselves relatively scarce without leaving me completely exposed. "I know. I just...you know me. I'm not used to sitting on my hands. It's...wrong."

"It's what someone of your rank does. Embrace it."

With the channel to the captain still open, I tried to listen calmly as gunfire filled the line. A few minutes later there was an explosion, followed by a second one - louder, closer - and then Norfolk shouting, "Get 'em, get 'em!"

A deeper rattle this time - an LMG. Screams from humans. Then an animal-like screech.

"Colonel, we've got Jackals!"

"What're their numbers, Captain?" I finally asked, unable to keep silent any longer.

"I don't know, ma'am. A dozen? Two? We just made it into the hangar, and it's - "

"Link me to your helmet feed."

A pause filled with deafening fire - his own - then, "Yes, ma'am! Getting it online now!"

In seconds my field of vision filled with what Norfolk was seeing in real-time - it was a little jarring at first. I watched through his cam feed, in the first person, as he ducked incoming fire one moment, then popped back up the next, bringing his assault rifle up and letting loose a long spray of lead. He turned with sickening quickness to the left, spotted a Jackal sniper setting up, shot it down from the level above, then threw himself flat without warning as a tight beam rifle round - from the opposite side of the hangar - barely missed his head.

Somewhere ahead a smoke canister deployed, and I heard him cough both through our shared COM channel and the live video feed.

"Is that ours or theirs?" I asked.

"Theirs, ma'am," he ground out.

"Then use it against them," I ordered. "Send your men in, now."

"Y-yes, ma'am. On it." Louder, he said, "Marines! Move up! Use the smoke as cover!"

A squad of Marines did just that in front of him, and I watched as Norfolk himself got to his feet as well, advancing with the next group. He moved fast to the next available cover, taking care to stay behind the main line, then rattled off another long burst before pausing.

"Shit. Colonel, I think there's a lot more in here than the spook was letting on."

Ethan made a noise of derision behind me, but I ignored him.

"We never got a clear number on enemy forces, Captain. The commander did what he could. The rest, we improvise."

"Yes, ma'am. I just - "

He suddenly ducked and rolled, and the speed with which he did so made my stomach feel like it was rolling with him. Hands came up over his head off-screen and then we both winced at the sound of a nearby detonation.

At that point, I finally gave up trying to watch through his feed and disengaged, returning our link to audio-only. I'd gotten enough of a gist of the situation now anyway - and disorienting myself without actually fighting was helping no one.

But having seen what I did made me wish even more that I was in the thick of it with them.

Still, I forced myself to stay put for now. They were in a fierce firefight for sure, but not in trouble yet. _My job,_ I reminded myself, firmly, _is to remain here. Provide commands and direction from_ here.

"Colonel? Orders?"

The question was barked louder than before, and finally broke through my thoughts.

"Come again, Captain?"

"There's no way we're getting to their stockpile in time. Between the snipers and the rebels - with our restrictions, it's not going to happen. What are your orders?"

Their restrictions being that the use of explosives on the stockpile of weapons and ammo was forbidden. Given the fact that a gathering of loot that large was bound to cause a huge detonation near the city, I couldn't risk it. And that meant that rather than sneak a demo team past the enemy, they had to fight it out to reach the main cache - and if they weren't able to get through...the mission would fail.

I couldn't afford that, either.

"Get our own snipers set up and let's get our heavy MGs into play. We cannot let them get to those weapons first, understand?"

"Affirmative, Colonel. Standby."

Captain Norfolk dutifully relayed my orders over his command channel then, but I barely listened. We needed this to go right - besides the enormous risk the depot posed to the local civilian population, we needed this to work to get Laraza out of hiding. To do that, we had to hit something big - like this. Without it, I wasn't sure we could track him down before he struck at us again.

And I was tired as shit of being on the receiving end.

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath, just in time to see that a movement of my chin inside my helmet had switched the channel back to my private one with Ethan.

"Natalie. Stay cool. They'll get it."

I was just about to reply with my reservations in that regard when I heard a whoop through my other channel with Norfolk. I switched back to active with that one and actually heard the captain _laugh_.

"Darren?" I said, raising an eyebrow inside my helmet. "What's so funny?"

"The rebs and those Covie bastards, ma'am! We're actually beating them _back_! I can't believe we had the firepower to - "

I shared in his elation for about half a second before I started to feel something was wrong. Something in the background...a sound.

"Captain?"

There was a painfully long hesitation, then a complete one-eighty in tone. "Oh, no. It's not us. It's - "

The impatience finally overtook me and I nearly yelled, "It's _what_ , Captain?"

Instead of responding he patched me into his feed once more, and I was taken on a ride along with him without even moving. He was sprinting, dodging fire from multiple angles now as well as dishing some back in return himself. In the middle of the run I heard him suddenly grunt and go down, following with him as his body went crashing to the floor of the hangar and rotated once, twice, three times before finally coming to a stop. He groaned and tried to get up, failed, and was eventually helped up by a subordinate behind him, off-camera.

"Thanks, Corporal," he said.

By now I felt very close to losing what little I had in my stomach. It was just too much to witness all this motion at such a personal level while my own body was firmly planted, upright and unmoving, far away in the snow.

"Norfolk, what's going on?"

"There, Colonel," came the rough reply. "Look, behind the Jackals at ten o'clock."

"Zoom for me."

"Done."

I furrowed my brows until I could see what he did. Something was picking off the Jackals up top, one by one. Some were getting thrown off the edge, others dragged off from their six. I couldn't make sense of it until I saw it - a sudden warp in the frame, then a familiar mechanical being appeared, driving its blade through three of the aliens at once.

"Holy shit!"

It took me a moment to realize the exclamation had come from me. I was officially involved in too many channels and feeds at once. I instantly unlinked myself from Captain Norfolk's first-person point of view and cried into a new general channel, "Marines, we're up. Let's move!"

I'd barely begun to stand fully from my own position when I felt Ethan grab hold of my arm.

"Cooper, don't - "

"Hands. Off. Commander," I snapped, turning to face him fast as I shook off his grip.

My ex took a step back and raised his hands. "Hey. I'm just looking out for you."

"Well I don't need it, and I'm tired of having to tell you every fucking time that _I'm_ still the one in charge here! Is that clear, Ackerson?"

"Yes, ma'am. Crystal."

"Okay. Great. Then _please_ , follow fucking orders and let me do my damn job."

I was breathing hard now inside my helmet, despite the bitter cold. I think Ethan heard it over our shared channel - and if not, he could definitely tell the way I was standing right in his face, waiting for him to get out of my way.

For a crazy moment, he almost raised his visor, then thought better of it and simply turned it from opaque to clear. His expression was...pained.

"Natalie, I just...I don't want to see you get hurt again."

I blew out a breath, exasperated. "I get it. But Ethan, I can't do - " I gestured between us. "This. You know that. You know that I won't. Okay? So let me be who I need to be, do what I need to do, and leave the worrying to someone else."

I didn't wait to see or hear his response. Couldn't. Right now, my Marines were in trouble - and I wasn't with them. Colonel or not, proper or not, I knew I needed to be there myself to see them through.

Sprinting down the slope in the ever-thickening snow hurt my lungs and my legs - especially the one that had been shot. But I pushed through the pain, ground my teeth and kept on. I was not letting Laraza win again - and I was not letting the Prometheans ruin this for me, too.


	33. Chapter 32: One-Way Mirror

**Chapter Thirty-Two: One-Way Mirror**

 **1022 Hours, December 28, 2560. **City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget** **.** "The Descent," Outer Colonies. Day Seventy of the Dark Side of the World**

" - which would really be for the best. Colonel, are you listening?"

 _Shit._ Now I'd completely missed what he'd said. "Um...yes, sir."

"Is something distracting you?"

I shook my head. "No, sir. I agree - the mission has to take priority here."

"Good. Then I trust you have things under control? Those reinforcements will help as well, I'm sure."

"No doubt, General."

He nodded in approval. "Thankfully, they're due to arrive soon. Keep me apprised of the situation there. I know things have gotten pretty far outside your original scope...but that's something we all prepare for in our line of work."

I gave him a small self-deprecating smile. "Me more than most, sir."

"I realize, Cooper. Good luck to you."

"Thank you, General."

"Bolowsky out."

My superior's face soon faded from the private COM console in my quarters, and the moment it did, I leaned back in my chair and released a long breath. It was the second time the general had checked in in the last month, since I'd sent him my data packet letting him know of the changed circumstances here on Puget - and our need for additional troops. I'd relayed the info to him the night Ethan, my team and I, and the 8th Engineers had been forced to abandon our mission at the weapons depot near the city - at least at the time, given what we'd found. Now that we were getting in a fresh wave of Marines...I had decided, with General Bolowsky's blessing, that it was worth another shot.

Things had changed in the last several weeks, of course, but that couldn't be helped. The plan would just take some adjustments. It pushed back my timeline for finding and defeating Laraza, but as the Prometheans were now confirmed to be present and involved - and the more immediate threat - I had to let that take precedence. The thing I was really worried about - what had me so stuck in my own head - was the fact that I'd be seeing Willis again soon, and I had no idea how to handle it.

I'd known the moment I'd asked for reinforcements weeks ago that it would mean a reunion; my husband's air wing was first in line on the list of air units for deployment. Obviously it wasn't why I'd requested their aid, but I knew where they stood, and that had made the choice a tough one. On the one hand I wanted him far away and safe from this enormous cluster we'd walked into; on the other, we really needed them. So of course my men - and the mission - took priority, as I'd told Bolowsky just now, and I'd made the call.

We still hadn't spoken face-to-face since our fight. Somewhere in the intervening weeks, sometime during his voyage, I saw that my husband had left me a brief video message. I hadn't even watched it. At this point, I figured that whatever it was, we'd deal with it in person when he got here.

Presently, I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I certainly had things to tell him that were best done once we could have a moment alone, now that the opportunity was available to do so.

 _Like the fact that I kissed Ethan a while ago,_ I thought to myself. _That's going to go over well._

I took a look around as I stood and psyched myself up to leave again. At least this time, everything was tidy inside my personal quarters, and my clothes were neatly tucked away in the closet. I didn't know exactly when Willis and his air wing - and the rest of the reinforcements - would be arriving on-planet, but I did know it'd likely be in the coming week. Almost absent-mindedly I went over to my small closet and moved everything over to one side, to make room.

It felt strange to think I'd be sharing my space again. I wasn't sure what that would be like now, either.

Thankfully, I still had a few days to figure it out.

* * *

"Hurry, Lieutenant. We don't want to be late."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm ready."

I'd stopped by my XO's quarters after exiting my own to come get Lloyd. I knew that if we were to try to deal with the depot again, and have a shot at pushing the rebel leader out of hiding, we needed an edge. I was hoping we'd gain that from our young prisoner.

"How're things looking today?" I asked the ONI operative as we walked, and he sighed.

"To be honest, the setback hasn't helped, Colonel. It's unfortunate the rebs've now moved the cache - but it might actually work in our favor."

"How so?"

"Won't have so many implications with the local civvie population, for one. However, Commander Ackerson tells me there's still the issue with - "

"With the Prometheans we found."

"Yes, ma'am." He stopped for a moment, and his piercing blue eyes met my green ones. "We've had eyes on the old location for weeks. They still haven't been seen since. We don't even know where they came from."

I was the one to exhale in a huff this time. "And that's troubling."

"Definitely."

"So what you're telling me is what I already know then, essentially." Coming to a complete halt, I lowered my gaze to my boots for a second and rested my hands on my hips, gun slung behind my back. "Our strike needs to come soon, before everything comes back to bite us in the ass."

To his credit, Lloyd didn't bother to respond.

I looked back up. "All we're waiting on now are those reinforcements. Let's hope they're here when we need them."

"Yes, ma'am."

By now we were outside and nearing the meet-up. It was cold, as usual, but at least it was bright. I steeled myself as we approached, already seeing Ethan standing stoically by the entrance to the makeshift POW building.

"Commander Ackerson, sir," Lieutenant Lloyd said in greeting.

My ex just gave him a slight nod. "Lloyd." Then he looked to me. "Colonel."

Skipping over the pleasantries myself, I said, "Remember, Ethan and I will tag-team. Lieutenant, I want you to hang back and just observe for now. See if any of her answers feel off, and keep her on her toes."

"Yes, ma'am," the two spooks answered in unison.

"Good. Let's get in there."

Ethan entered first, then me, then Lloyd. It was somewhat of a tight fit in the small room occupied by our single rebel inmate, but it had the desired effect. The teenager's normally surly, unaffected expression changed to one of tense apprehension. She knew we meant business this time.

"Shit. Did I get famous or something?" she asked.

"No," my ex replied, arms folded across his chest. "Why?"

She gestured vaguely at the room. "Well, I mean... _three_ of you?"

"Don't focus on the numbers," I said, pulling up the single fold-up chair in the room and sitting on it, directly in front of her so we loosely boxed her in. I put an ankle up on my opposite knee and leaned back, waiting for her to get her guard up.

It happened; I saw the change in her eyes, and I knew the spooks did, too. Only then did I go on.

"As you might expect, we're in a bit of a pickle we'd like you to help us solve."

Instantly the anger returned. "What do you want to know? I've already told you shit. I'm not that high up in the food chain, if you know what I mean. I don't know much more than - "

"You've helped us more than you know," Ethan said, moving in a little closer. "If there's anything else you remember, anything at all - "

"No!"

" - the UNSC would be grateful. Your accommodations could improve, we could get you more insulation from the elements...maybe even something more to entertain yourself with in here?"

"Fuck the UNSC!" she growled back. "You pretend to be all about the 'greater good' and 'looking out for humanity' and blah blah blah, but you're just as corrupt as the rest of them. A bunch of fucking hypocrites, like you've got some moral high-ground to stand on. Like you're so much better." The girl darted her eyes to Cal then, watching us quietly as ordered from behind, and sneered. "Case in point, _these_ two are fucking each other. She's married! Did you know _that_ about your CO? The UNSC at its damn best."

I wasn't as skilled as the spooks, but I tried not to let my expression betray me. I'd figured she'd just been waiting to plant that bomb as soon as someone besides Ethan and I were in the room with her. I knew she'd try to use that to her advantage, feel like she had a leg up, and I went with it.

Without turning around to see Lloyd's face, though.

Ethan, however, beat me to the punch. "What's your real beef with the UNSC, huh?"

She was riled up now, cornered, and unsure of how her biggest advantage had landed. Behind us, Cal still said nothing, and for a moment she glanced fervently between the three of us, trying to get a read on someone, anyone, but finally gave up when she couldn't.

"My uncle, okay! You murdered him!"

Ethan purposely overacted and furrowed his brow, pointing at himself. "Me? Was he killed in a firefight?"

"No!" Now the teenage rebel grew flustered. "Not you, personally...the government. You _stole_ him. My grandmother said so. Her baby was stolen from her, replaced by some...some _thing_ that looked like him and talked like him but _wasn't_ him..." A few angry tears dropped from her face, but she quickly wiped them. "You ruined our family. You ruined her. She raised me when my mom and dad left. She was all I had. And she was _broken_ most of her life because of what you did."

Suddenly something inside me clicked. The talk I'd had with Laraza while in captivity - small children taken from their families and altered, made to fight for the UNSC during the war. The Spartans.

"Your uncle was a Spartan?" I blurted. I couldn't help it.

"Yes! One of my superiors got hold of the declassified lists. He was killed at the age of eleven - _eleven!_ \- in a training accident. Said he was in the woods alone - just a damn little kid - and didn't diffuse a bomb in time." Tears rolled more surely down her face this time, and I didn't think it was anger anymore. This was raw hurt. "My uncle was blown to pieces. At eleven. And somehow, my grandma found out how he...how it happened, when the documents came out after the War. My poor Nana was crushed. She thought knowing would bring her closure. It would've been better if she'd never learned about it at all."

The whole room was silent for a moment. We'd come in here with the intention of taking the prisoner off her guard, of making her feel vulnerable enough to give us more information, but it had backfired. Despite being prepared for her to drop what I thought was her biggest bomb, it turned out she'd had more in store. It wasn't what we were looking for, but at least now, we knew her motivations.

"That's why I truly believe in our cause," she said then, quiet but firm. "That's why I don't want to make nice, or hear your excuses, or listen to your lies. You're just as bad, if not worse, than everybody else." She snorted. "Us rebs, we know we're not perfect. We wear it on our sleeve." She looked directly at me now, searching for someone to pin this on. "But _you_? You pretend you're the greatest, biggest force for good of them all, and then do shit like this behind _everyone's_ backs." She stared at me like I was shit, and nearly spat, "You're the very definition of a snake."

* * *

I remained in the room after that just long enough to show the rebel that I hadn't been rattled by her words...but in reality, I most definitely had. I wasn't a spook; I couldn't hide my feelings as well, so I knew I needed to leave as soon as it was appropriate so that I didn't give anything away. I waited just outside the room for a while, eventually going out into the freezing cold elements to get some air. About twenty minutes later, Ethan appeared behind me first.

"We got what we needed," he said, all business. "Another location they might've moved the cache to. Lloyd helped suss it out."

"That's good," I said tonelessly. "We'll use that as soon as our reinforcements arrive."

I heard my ex shift his stance behind me then as he came around to my right. "Natalie? That was an intense interrogation session, and I know you're not...used to that. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

This time, he got in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Cooper."

For a good minute I couldn't find the words. Then, finally, I heaved a big sigh and forced myself to keep my voice steady. "When I was being held prisoner, I saw Laraza once. A couple times, actually. He told me in a round-about way about the real origin of the Spartans. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to think it was real, that we could - " I swallowed. "But it's true, isn't it? That really happened."

Ethan didn't mince words. "Yes." He sighed, too. "But times were different then, and it's not like the decision was ours to - "

I threw his hands off me and tensed up. "It doesn't matter! Don't you see? Everything that girl said about us is right! She's _right!_ "

"What?"

"Me and you, Ethan. We're not good. We're...snakes. I...holy Christ, I almost forsook my marriage for you. I just - "

"We're not talking about Spartans anymore, are we?"

I shook my head unnecessarily, then glanced back up. "She looked right at me, Ethan. She meant what she said. And dammit, she was right."

I was about to turn to leave when we saw Lieutenant Lloyd finally emerge. He trudged through the high snow to us, then stopped in our small circle and paused.

"So...just to be clear, you two aren't really..."

"No," Ethan and I answered firmly at once, and then I walked away.


	34. Chapter 33: Fissure

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Fissure**

What I really needed was some time alone to decompress after what I'd learned, but not surprisingly, I didn't get very long. Hadn't been expecting it, really, but shortly after I'd sat down in the small mess tent with my second cup of coffee, Gunnery Sergeant York approached.

"Colonel, they're here," he said without preamble. "Our reinforcements, I mean. Air command group just landed, with armor to follow later this evening. You asked me to let you know once they were dirtside."

Despite what I was drinking, I instantly went cold inside. I'd calculated things all wrong earlier; I didn't have _days_ until Willis arrived. He was already _here_ , now.

It was too much too soon, and I felt way in over my head. I took in a discreet breath, however, and tried my best not to let it show.

"That I did. Thanks, Gunny," I responded calmly. "That'll be all."

My aide gave me a slight nod and made an about face, stepping back out of the tent. I allowed myself exactly three minutes to compose myself again, quickly gulped down the rest of my coffee, and crushed the paper cup into the trash.

Apparently, today wasn't quite done screwing me over just yet.

* * *

As commanding officer, I knew I should have been part of the welcoming committee for our newly arrived pilots and troops. But the knowledge that Willis was among them - and the fact that I wasn't ready to face him just yet - made putting the plan into action hard. So I put it off for now, and made my way to the command tent first.

I stepped past the gathering of aides and staff officers and instead walked straight over to my XO. She'd been busy by the main console, but glanced up in slight surprise when she saw me moving towards her.

"Brewer, a quick word."

"Of course, Colonel." She waved off some of our subordinates, and the two of us clustered around the holotable. "What's this about?"

"A couple of things, actually." I placed my hands on my hips and sighed. "You know Cal and Ackerson and I interrogated the girl this morning."

"Yes, ma'am. My husband didn't give me any details, but he mentioned it was quite...productive."

I nodded. "It was. We've now got a new lead on where the rebs might've moved the cache. I was also just approached by my aide. Apparently our reinforcements are here." Our eyes met as I turned away from the projected map displayed above the table for a moment. "That means our planned meeting will be tonight, once all the commanders are planetside. We'll confer here first, then brief the 52nd's battalion commanders and their XOs right after."

"Yes, ma'am," she said, running a hand through her short red hair. "Things are moving fast now, huh?"

"I figure we've spent enough time laying low. Time to get back into the fight."

* * *

I spent some extra time in the command tent getting some items ready for tonight's briefings. Major Brewer was right - now that our additional troops were here, things were indeed kicking into high gear. Surprisingly, both us and the enemy had been lying mostly dormant during the interim; I didn't want to lose out on gaining the upper hand with the new info we'd received from our rebel prisoner. The faster I could get things in motion, the better equipped we'd be to handle the coming battles.

And of that there'd be many, I was sure. Not only in the sense of combat.

I'd just walked out to check on the lines once I was finished when I heard a shout.

"Cooper!"

I turned around to find a solitary figure jogging up behind me, and my heart caught in my throat.

Willis.

I wasn't ready for this. I was _not_ ready.

But I guess now I had no choice, so I forced myself to stop and stood still, facing him as he got closer.

"Hey," he said as he approached. He seemed hesitant at first, nervous even, though I couldn't see his expression underneath his helmet to tell for sure. "So...did no one tell you we were here? Our Pelican touched down half an hour ago. I was expecting to see you."

The words to reply were hard to find, stuck in my throat. I thought talking to him in person would be easier. Instead, I very quickly realized that this was much, much worse. I swallowed, suddenly unsure of what to expect. "I'm sorry. I got...caught up in some stuff." In hiding, mostly.

"Did you get my message at least?"

"No," I said, then corrected myself. "I mean, yes, but I didn't...I thought we'd talk once you were here."

Willis's stance stiffened and I could immediately tell I'd said the wrong thing. His tone changed, too.

"You know, despite everything, I was looking forward to seeing you. It's been four months since you left Mars. But you didn't even come to greet me."

Something inside me snapped then, and I stepped a bit closer, gesticulating at the air now. Exasperated, as I had been for weeks with him.

"Me, me, me! You know what? Not everything is about _you_ , Willis! This may come as a shock, but I have things to do, many that don't involve you. So I'm sorry that I can't afford to make you my very top priority here." I finally dropped my arms then and added, "And actually, I was thinking of you, because after our last talk, to be honest, I wasn't even sure you _wanted_ to see me."

"Of course I did!" my husband shot back. "And you would know that if you'd even bothered with the message I sent at all. But _clearly_ you're too busy here, for me or for your kids, so it's a good thing we're here now to wrap things up. Here's hoping this all gets resolved soon so I can go home and you can...do whatever it is that you want to do."

I frowned at that, though I realized belatedly he couldn't see it. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Fuck. I - " This time, it was Willis who threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know, Natalie. Ever since you...you've been different. Distant, avoiding me, not interested in us - I just really can't tell where your head's at." He paused, turning away for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh. "And I worry about bringing this up because I know it's a sore subject, but...what's happening with you and Ethan?"

Again when I opened my mouth to answer, the words didn't come out right away, and Willis misinterpreted my hesitation.

"I'd like the truth, please," he said with forced calm. "Just tell me."

"Okay. We kissed. I kissed him back this time; it wasn't all on him. I participated fully, and I'm sorry."

"When? Is it still going on?"

His coldness threw me off a little. It was harder than I'd imagined to hear that in his voice.

"After our fight. Just once."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No. Never. Like I said, it was just - "

But apparently he'd heard enough, because he broke me off with a curt wave of his hand.

"Fine. You didn't have sex, but it's still Ethan. And you know how - " His voice rose and he didn't look at me. "How _sick_ that makes me, after what he did to you. And I guess you suddenly don't remember, or don't care, what you went through back then, and what I did to pull you out."

"Willis - "

He shook his head. "No. No, just - " He let out an incredulous chuckle completely devoid of humor before turning to face me again. "I honestly thought you were smarter than this. Better than this, than to go back to a lying piece of shit who _beat_ you. But you know what? Knock yourselves out. If that's what you want, if that's the kind of guy that gets you going, have at it, okay?" He shook his head in disbelief. "I saved you from him once, Cooper. I'm not doing it again. And I'm done fighting for you."

And with that, he started to walk away.

" _Goddammit._ Willis!"

"No! I am done with this...this complete insanity, Natalie. Let's just..." He stared at the ground for a second, then back at me. " - just give each other space for now, okay? I'm going to request a separate billet, we'll be cordial with each other for the mission, blah blah blah, and that'll be that. I really just...I can't fucking stand you right now."

As he left I just stood there in the cold, stunned. Somehow, deep down, I'd always known it'd be bad. But I never could have imagined how much...or just how awful the hurt it left in its wake would be.

Now more than ever, I truly felt this might be the killing blow to our relationship. And the enormity of that finally hit me full force.

My marriage was lying in the snow with a crater in it, and it was my fault. And I didn't know what I could do, if anything, to fix it.


	35. Chapter 34: A Friend When You Need It

**Chapter Thirty-Four: A Friend When You Need It**

Despite having had two cups of coffee, I felt utterly devoid of energy. What was worse was that I didn't have a choice but to continue on with the day. To continue to lead, when I felt a hole so large in my heart I thought it was better to be shot through the chest again than to feel this.

I loved him. I'd missed him, and our kids, but I didn't know how to say that. At this point, I didn't think he'd care. For Willis, I knew it'd be too little, too late.

Captivity had taken a lot out of me, but I'd never thought it would have taken my words away from the person I'd bound myself to for life. I couldn't speak around him, too afraid to say or do something that would give away just how different I'd truly become - and I was too afraid to find out how he'd react to that, if he'd accept our new reality. And that fear was very clearly driving us apart even faster.

In the past few months I'd changed and I'd stumbled and struggled with it all, but the love was still there - my pain was proof. I just wasn't sure it was the same for him, not after everything he'd said. I had no choice but to give him the space he needed, and resign myself to the fact that whether or not we made it was now entirely his decision.

And maybe he'd already made it.

I knew I hadn't done myself any favors growing closer to Ethan, but I couldn't go back and change that now. Time moved inexorably forward, never back, and I had to live with it and hope we'd be okay.

But even through the hurt, I was still so angry that my internment had been somehow turned against me, that my husband couldn't find it in himself to have been more understanding and forgiving in the beginning than he had been, after what I'd endured. It was a confusing state of mind, to say the least, and one I had no idea how to navigate under the circumstances. Right now, I didn't even try to figure it out.

Instead, I went back to what I did know how to do, and what I could control. The mission.

* * *

I'd just reentered the command tent, emotionally held together by a thread, when I bumped into my XO.

"Ma'am. I just received a roster from Major Hawk and Captain Sakato. Rooms have been assigned, but it says here that the major has his own separate quarters. Is that an oversight?"

"No," I replied. "It's not." I suddenly realized I couldn't be here right now. "Excuse me."

Brewer's expression went from puzzled to astonished in an instant. "Colonel, my apologies. I didn't mean to - "

I held up a hand to stop her there, and that was all I could do. I got out as fast as I could, trying to think of where else I could go, what else I could do, to make this stop.

A few minutes later I found myself back at the mess. I knew _someone_ aboard one of the ships had to have smuggled in contraband. And the crates would be right where they always were - mixed in with the kitchen's food rations.

No one questioned my presence in the back; yet another perk of my rank. I was able to pull a bottle of clear liquor from the hidden stash, grab a paper cup, and pour myself a drink then and there.

I'd had a budding problem with alcohol two years ago. Getting pregnant with my third son made me quit right away. But ever since Garrett had used it on me while I'd been a prisoner, my desire for it had grown. I'd just needed a big enough catalyst - like this - to go back.

I took my first swig and didn't stop there. As the alcohol burned down my throat I felt something inside me settle - felt some of the anger and pain and raw hurt dissipate. I knew it wasn't gone, only dampened - but it was like going back to an old friend. Someone who would always be there for you, no matter what. _Since all my friends are dead,_ I thought with a dark chuckle. I took another drink and sat on the floor, back against the wall, right by the crates.

I was past the point of giving a fuck.

Time passed. By my fourth cup I got just as much booze on the ground when I poured as my cup. Finally my head was swirling - and the deep ache in my chest, the extreme pressure and stress I was under every day - was all buried underneath it.

Satisfied, I sat there a little longer until I felt...ready. Picking up the bottle and cup, I stood - or more truthfully, teetered and caught myself against the wall. I pushed myself up to fully stand, waited a moment for the room to stop spinning, and finally emerged back out into the mess hall.

Only to be accosted very quickly by Lieutenant Caleb Lloyd.

"Steady, ma'am," he said to me, grabbing hold of my shoulders and turning me around. "We'll go out the back."

"Cal?"

"Yes, ma'am."

I furrowed my brow. "How did you - "

"My wife. Dani said something was clearly wrong back at the CP. And, well, when your CO goes missing..."

Almost imperceptibly he took the bottle and cup from my hand, set them down on a table we passed, and made sure I got my helmet and gloves back on before going outside.

"Shit, it's cold," I said very helpfully.

"Puget hasn't changed since you were in the back, sadly."

After a couple minutes of trudging through the snow - at a very slow pace, as calf-high snow and drunk didn't go well together - I asked, "Where're we going?"

"To your quarters, ma'am. I don't think you'd like the impression you'd make being seen like this."

No, I probably wouldn't. "Thank you, Cal."

"Not a problem, Colonel."

I still didn't have it very well together as we approached, but it was when we got there that everything fell apart. Just seeing my quarters, and knowing that although I'd prepared for his arrival, Willis wasn't going to be there with me - had explicitly asked to be placed elsewhere, far away from me - made me lose it. Despite Caleb's best efforts, I collapsed in the snow and let out an earth-shattering wail as the monumental implications of the day's events finally hit.

I was drowning in tears clouding my vision when I heard the spook whisper, "Okay," as he pulled me back up, and helped me past the threshold to finally close the door shut behind us.

"Easy, easy," he said softly, holding me steady enough to get me to sit on the chair by my desk. Then he pulled off my helmet and gloves, and just stood in front of me while I bawled.

"Let it go, Cooper. Just let it go."

I did, and I didn't hold back. I couldn't; I was well past the point of being able to do that now. I'd already been doing it for so long that two stunning events in one day was more than enough to fully break me.

And it was then that I understood why Caleb had been the one sent to go after me - he'd gone through this, too.

"I had to do this, too, ma'am, with Dani," he said, voice shaking ever so slightly. "I broke, too. We were _broken_ in there. And I always thought, after we got out - " He stopped, took in a breath to steady his voice, and went on. " - I thought, I have Dani with me. She'll help me through this. Cooper, you had no one. And I couldn't understand how you...how you went on this long without...I'm sorry."

My sobs were still too loud and I was still very drunk, but his words came through. I felt them, I knew them. I'd lived them. We both had, and he suddenly crouched beside me, grabbed my shoulders again, and squeezed in support, getting close to my face now.

"It'll always be the two of us, who went through that hell together. Who really, truly know. But we can get past this, ma'am. We can, and we will, and we must."

"I know," I blubbered. "I know."

I couldn't form anything more coherent than that at the moment. Instead I leaned forward into his shoulder and just kept crying. I wasn't sure when, if ever, it would stop. It felt like a lifetime of pain and hurt and fear was rushing out, and I had enough backed up to go on forever.

* * *

It was dark out when I stopped. That was my only indication of just how much time had gone by. I was sitting on my own now, Caleb beside me. Somehow we'd ended up sitting side by side on the floor, backs against the wall like I had been when he'd found me in the back room of the mess. I still wasn't feeling very sober yet, but I did feel like some of the weight I'd carried with me lately had lifted. Not all - it wouldn't ever be all - but enough.

Just enough to be able to breathe again.

"How do you feel?" Lloyd asked quietly, and I curved my lips upward a bit.

"Mostly still drunk."

"Then I'll let Dani know you're postponing tonight's briefings."

He stood for a moment, went off into the corner to send off the message on his datapad, then came back over to sit next to me again.

"I'll stay as long as you need."

"Thanks, Cal. I don't know how - "

He shook his head. "No. I knew you were alone in this. I should've helped you a long time ago. But I didn't." He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "I was so wrapped up in _me_...in what I'd experienced...I had to get myself to a good place before I could help someone else, you know?"

"Yeah."

"And I know...I know there's more going on here, too. What's happening with you, and Ackerson, and your husband - it's your business. I won't pry and I won't ask. I know how difficult and confusing things can be...after going through what we went through. I just want you to know there is a silver lining, once everything settles." He looked me in the eyes then. "And you saved my life in there. You kept us alive and did everything you could to give us a chance to escape. I'll always be grateful to you for that, and I'll always have your back. For bringing me back to Dani."

I wasn't quite up to smiling yet, and I didn't respond. But it felt good, knowing I had someone like Caleb in my corner.

 _Maybe not all my buddies are dead,_ I thought then. _I've still got at least one._

And for now, that was enough.


	36. Chapter 35: The Great Divide

**Chapter Thirty-Five: The Great Divide**

In the morning I awoke with a groan - and a faintly familiar sensation of an ache in my head and my gut.

 _Hangover,_ I thought to myself, squeezing my eyes tight as I pressed a hand to my temple. _Great._

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, all things considered. But it put a definite damper on the start of a day that already wasn't the best.

For a moment I leaned back into my pillow and just stared at the ceiling. Two years ago I never would have been in this position. Now my husband all but hated me, and I couldn't even look around the room or go into my closet, half cleared out for him, without being starkly reminded of that. Of the fact that he was missing, my heart hurt, my bed was empty, and today I'd have to face all of that head-on at the briefing.

I finally forced myself up and swung my legs over the side of the bunk. _Better to get it over with,_ I thought with a sigh. _But first things first: coffee. And probably some aspirin._

* * *

A half-hour later, the painkillers I'd had at breakfast were finally kicking in. Two cups of joe had me buzzing, and I thought I was as ready as I'd ever be to resume my duties.

Walking into the command tent and seeing Willis first thing threw all of that confidence out the window.

"Colonel," he said to me, and never had the rank sounded worse, more painful. I swallowed hard on the lump in my throat and tried my best to take it in stride.

"Major. You're here early."

At that he scoffed and lowered his voice, so that only I could hear. "Let's not do the small talk," he said. "I'm only addressing you because I have to, as a professional courtesy."

"Right."

If that didn't spell things out clear as day, I didn't know what did. Obviously, he'd had no change of heart overnight.

As we stood by the main console, I checked my watch. Ten minutes to go before everyone else was due to arrive. Aides and some junior staff officers maneuvered around us, but beyond that, it was an uncomfortable wait in silence.

I almost breathed a sigh of relief when Major Brewer and Lieutenant Lloyd came in. Captain Kenji Sakato, commanding officer of our newly arrived armor company, followed shortly thereafter.

It was the last person who walked in that I was most apprehensive about. I practically held my breath when I saw him stride into the command tent, and I did all I could to keep from glancing at Willis to see how he'd handle it. My husband said nothing, however, and his expression didn't change. He simply folded his arms across his chest as he stood on the opposite side of the holotable, focused intently on the image it displayed.

After over a decade and a half together, though, I could read Willis very well. There was a slight tension in his stubbled jaw that gave away just how hard he was trying to keep cool, and not cause a scene over Ethan. I guess that was the best I could hope for at this point.

Since everyone was now here, I gave a slight nod to my XO, and she quickly turned to the rest of the personnel inside the tent.

"Marines, clear out. You will be allowed back in once we're done."

In less than a minute, all had left except for the six of us. At that, I began.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm going to jump right in. Our mission a month ago to destroy the rebels' weapons cache was obviously a bust," I said. "But yesterday morning, Commander Ackerson, Lieutenant Lloyd, and I were able to get a new lead from our prisoner." I looked over at Ethan, and gestured for him to proceed. "Commander."

"Yes, ma'am." His first action was to turn his attention squarely on Willis and Captain Sakato. "For our new arrivals, besides the depot - which is our intended way of going after General Laraza - we've also discovered the presence of the Prometheans on-planet."

"We've been briefed," Willis said tightly.

"Perfect. So you know we've got a new wrinkle in all this to contend with." Ethan reached out and manipulated the hologram before us. "What you're seeing now is an estimate of where we think the cache has moved. It has the added benefit of having potential clues as to how - and from where - the Prometheans came to Puget."

"It's not for sure," I amended. "We have yet to recon the area and confirm Promethean presence there. But it's worth a shot, and it's more of a lead than we've had in weeks. I'll be sending both spooks out to observe and collect intel tonight. We should know by tomorrow exactly where we stand on this." I finally glanced up. "Questions so far?"

"Numbers, ma'am? For the Prometheans?" Captain Sakato asked, and I shook my head.

"No hard stats yet, unfortunately. So far, as you probably know, we've only seen them once at the old depot. I will say, however, that their numbers there were...significant. It's why we were forced to scrap the mission altogether and try again later, once you and Major Hawk arrived." I released a sigh. "Which brings us to here, now."

I changed the display myself this time, a zoomed out view of the new location. "The former depot was always going to be difficult to deal with from the start, due to its proximity to Cordonnes. The new place won't interfere much with the local population, but it comes with its own hardships. As you can see, its in a thick forest about forty klicks from here."

Sakato frowned. "Getting armor that far without the enemy knowing will be...damn close to impossible, Colonel."

"Yes. Which is why I plan on using it sparingly, and having our air unit help bring you guys in." I looked over to Willis. "How many tanks do you think you can airlift in, Major?"

"Without giving away our approach? Two, maybe three, tops, ma'am. That's if you still want the rest of us wings ready to provide support to the ground troops, too."

"We'll definitely want that. Captain, can you prepare two of your armored units for this?"

"Yes, ma'am. What's the timetable?"

"I'd like to go in right away once our intel's available. No more time to waste. I want us in before they get wind that we know, or that we're coming."

A brief silence fell then, and I could practically hear the gears turning in everyone's heads. This was going to be a tight fit, both in terms of time and equipment. Everything had to go smoothly, everyone work perfectly in sync, for this to work.

After intense scrutiny of the holomap in front of us, my husband finally reached out and pointed to the new structure that we thought might house the cache. "I don't see any clearings for us to land the armor, Colonel."

He'd gestured with his left hand, and I noticed he still wore his wedding ring. That was something, at least. But I quickly forced my brain to shift focus and concentrate.

"There aren't any," I responded. "The best I could find on the map is here, about two hundred meters down."

I pointed to the spot and Willis studied it for a moment.

"All right. That'll have to work."

"You got it?"

"We'll get it done."

"Good. Anything else? Anyone?"

No one made any other remarks, so it was time to wrap this up.

"Very well," I said. "I was going to have us brief the battalion commanders and XOs after this, but let's wait until Lloyd and Ackerson return from their recon. We'll have more information to give them then. Dismissed."

Predictably - and quite painfully for me - Willis was the first to leave. Captain Sakato followed suit, then Lloyd. Major Brewer remained, but stepped out briefly to let our aides and staff back inside.

That left just me and Ethan alone for a minute, and I took in a small breath to brace myself.

"Wow," my ex commented, and I could hear the amusement in his voice. "He's really mad at you, Cooper."

"Yeah, you think?" I tried my best to keep busy, but finally gave up and looked at him. "Do you have to be so blatantly excited about it? Can't you at least fake being upset for me?"

"Nope."

Ethan said it smugly with a straight face, and I shook my head.

"Right. Thanks for that. And for helping to create this problem in the first place."

His expression went serious, but he shrugged. "We can't help who we love, Cooper. You know that."

"Yeah, and you made sure to go after the one person you could never have, didn't you?"

"Like I said, not my choice." Now he smirked faintly. "And anyway, I never made you kiss me. You made that bed all on your own."


	37. Chapter 36: Headstrong 1

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Headstrong, Part One**

 **0403 Hours, January 4, 2561. Rebel Facility, Planet Puget. "The Battering Ram," Outer Colonies. Day Seventy-Seven of the Dark Side of the World**

"Colonel, we're on approach. Hitting the LZ in five."

Even a week after his arrival, the sound of Willis's voice over the COM forced me out of my thoughts. Along with it came the memory of everything else - and his professionalism with me was a mixed bag of cold insult, admirable behavior, and a dagger to the heart. I took in a deep breath to recenter myself, then answered the hail.

"Acknowledged."

That's what we were down to now - sixteen years together, thirteen of marriage, four kids, and we could only manage a handful of curt radio addresses to one another.

I'd had hope at the start that that could change given time, but Willis had kept his distance back at the main camp, speaking directly to me only when our duties necessitated it, and during briefings, again as needed. The one time we'd nearly bumped into each other in the mess hall one evening, my husband had picked up his tray and left before we could even make eye contact. That had definitely hurt.

I'd come to the sad conclusion that he either still needed more space and time...or there was nothing left there for him to want to salvage. By now, I was leaning very heavily towards the latter.

Unconsciously I rubbed my hands together, feeling the comforting hardness of my wedding band on my finger inside my left glove. I hadn't yet removed mine, either, but I did wonder - often - if I'd still be married by the end of this. And how both of our lives would change if we weren't.

And the kids...

"Natalie."

I quickly turned around to find Ethan standing behind me, arms folded across his chest with his rifle slung behind his back, staring straight ahead into the forest around us.

"Word of advice: don't overthink. Stay focused."

I frowned. "Easy for you to say. Are you nearing the end of your thirteen-year union?"

"No, but I've had a pretty bad case of unrequited love for the last two years. And counting."

"Touché."

It wasn't the same, but I wasn't going to argue that now - not with what was at stake. Here we hoped to initiate the endgame with Laraza, and the Prometheans, and Puget itself. And with the intel brought back by Cal and my ex, there were strong indications that this depot could hold some answers for us.

I hoped so. I really needed something to celebrate. Something in all this to finally go right.

 _New year, new life,_ I thought. _Here's hoping it gets better._

* * *

"Captain Sakato, report."

He answered in an instant. "Wolverine-One and -Two ready and standing by, ma'am. On your order."

"Excellent. Major Mullen?"

"904th in position, Colonel."

I hesitated a second before checking in with the last leader. "Major Hawk?"

"Armor deployed, ma'am. Wings on station, ready to provide air support at your command."

"All right, then. Let's get this party started. Kenji, you're up."

"Yes, ma'am. Armor, you heard the lady. Let's roll!"

"Right up behind them, Wayne."

"Understood, Colonel."

"Hawk - "

"I know what to do."

Willis was firm and, just so there was no misunderstanding, cut the connection right after that. As things were getting underway at this point, I didn't press, and clicked off myself.

Beside me though, Ethan frowned. "Cooper...be careful he doesn't cross into insubordination territory."

I sighed as I folded my arms across my chest, anxiousness filling me just a little. "Relax. He wouldn't do that."

"That's funny," my ex said matter-of-factly. "Because he almost just did."

* * *

There was no high ground in the forest, and nowhere safe for our command group to maintain position while the op was underway. Things could turn at any moment, so I'd taken a company of Brewer's Marines with us as extra protection. Even knowing we were still, in some sense, in the thick of things, I tensed up as I heard - and then watched - our two tanks rolled by, one after another on the 904th's flanks. In the meantime, I kept an ear on the main channel, but didn't butt in this time. I'd only do so as necessary.

"Getting close," I heard Sakato say over the COM. "Both units, open fire on my mark. Three, two, one... _mark!_ "

The twin tank salvos launched in unison then, combining into one loud blast that reverberated through the forest. And lifting my rifle up, I watched through its scope between the trees as both massive rounds landed squarely against the rebs' fortification - hopefully housing the weapons depot we were after. Each one smashed large holes through the façade...and let the enemy know without a shadow of a doubt we were here.

"Knock, knock, motherfuckers," I said under my breath.

Not surprisingly, the response from inside was almost immediate. Rebels already on the outside began firing back first, then I watched as more came pouring out of the building. Four heavy machine guns opened up on our side alone, sending bullets flying off the Scorpion tanks' armor. I quickly gestured to Brewer's Marines around me, knowing the tanks would need a moment to reload their cannons.

"Snipers up! Get after the gunners first!"

Sharp _cracks_ sounded through the forest, hitting two gunners at once; I watched through my scope as their bodies erupted in red and then slumped atop their guns. My own trigger finger twitched outside the guard, but I knew we were too far off for me to hit anything from this distance. Luckily, by then the tanks were back in business, and a second pair of ear-shattering salvos lit up the last two gunners.

"Great work, Marines! Push up!" I said into the COM.

The Scorpion tanks did so, as did Major Mullen's battalion, coming up right behind them as ordered. Yet for all the arsenal we had at our disposal this time, the rebs seemed to have some tricks up their sleeves, too.

Captain Sakato and I both found that out the hard way as several rockets streaked towards the lead tank.

"Wolverine-One, they've got heavy! Watch it!" Sakato yelled.

To the snipers, I said, "Sharpshooters, redirect fire!"

Things seemed to be in a deadlock for a few minutes - it was clear that despite us getting the drop on them, the rebels were ready this time, and had definitely prepared. As two of the rockets exploded against Wolverine-One, a third narrowly missed Two, and I heard Captain Sakato shout frantically over the radio.

"Evade, evade, evade! Be careful that they don't - !"

A fourth rocket shot from a tube a split second before one of our snipers tagged the bastard in the head, but by then it was too late. It hit the lead tank yet again, and while it was barely smoking before, a dark plume now spiraled up from the front hatch, and a small fire started to blaze.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. "Kenji!"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Have them stick as close to the trees as possible! Keep them hard to hit!"

"On it!"

Already a stray rocket had blown up against a tree rather than hitting its intended target, sending charred wood shards everywhere. But those bounced harmlessly off the tanks' thick armor - whereas high-explosive rounds from a launcher did not.

Now that the fighting was fully underway, I finally clicked the COM to my channel with Cal.

"Lieutenant, sitrep."

"Still no sign of the Prometheans, ma'am."

I turned back to look at Ethan, and he stood firm.

"They're there, Colonel. Lloyd, tell your team to keep their eyes peeled."

"Yes, sir. Ma'am? Orders?"

I released a breath. "Go. Let me know what you find, and when you've got a visual on the cache."

"Roger that."

Besides throwing everything we had at a frontal assault - no sneaking around this time - our play here was to send in Lloyd's ONI team into the facility while everyone else was occupied out front. I hoped that meant the cache would be lightly guarded, and thus easier to destroy. And I hoped we'd get some leads on the return of the AI-bots, too.

"So now we wait," I said, mostly to myself, but Ethan picked it up via our shared link.

"Look on the bright side, Cooper," he replied. "You've already lasted longer in one place than you did last time."

"Yep. I suppose that's progress."

* * *

Crouching in the woods under the protective cover of a large tree, far from the fight, I kept one knee to the ground as I watched my Marines' progress via the holomap on my datapad, surrounded loosely by my security detail. It sucked to be this far back, but I knew now it was for the best. At first I thought maybe over time I might get used to it, but quickly realized I'd never want to. I made a silent vow to myself then and there that if I ever felt like staying behind rather than being up front with my men, that would be when I finally threw in the towel and called it quits. Retirement sounded like a good idea once I lacked the very motivation that made me who I was as a leader.

Then and only then, though.

"Mullen, Sakato, Lloyd, Hawk - give me some updates. How're we doing?"

"Moving forward, ma'am!" the commander of the 904th answered first.

"Keeping 'em busy, Colonel!" Captain Sakato replied.

"All right. Hawk?"

"Skies are clear for now. Standing by."

That only left Caleb...and I didn't hear him respond.

 _Oh, hell,_ I thought. _Dani just got you back, buddy. Don't make me -_

"Colonel?" came his voice, finally, and I relaxed just a bit. "We've made it inside. But we're pinned down in here as of now. I think we just...discovered the hornet's nest."

I frowned. "Of what? Prometheans? Rebs? Jackals?"

"A little of all three, but mostly our AI adversaries. It's...a mess in here."

 _Crap._ "Any progress to the cache?"

"Negative, ma'am. We need - "

There was a loud shriek and then an explosion. For several seconds, I heard nothing but static.

"Lieutenant? Lieutenant? _Cal!_ "

No answer.

I waited a minute longer to be sure, but once the connection cut on the other end, I knew they were in trouble.

"Dammit. Ackerson, gear up."

"Colonel?"

"Grab your team, too. We're going in after them."

My ex hesitated. "Ma'am, I just want to say..."

"Yeah, I know. Not advised." I sighed and gave him a look. "I've sat on my hands as long as I can, okay? And now Cal's neck-deep in shit. We're going."

After gathering my security detail, I had Ethan's team of spooks take point, and followed them into battle - leaving Major Brewer's company behind for now as rear guard. It was then I clicked my COM again.

"Cal? I don't know if you can hear this, or if you're still alive, but we're coming to help. We're pretty far out, so it'll take some time...but just, please, stay alive."

I couldn't bear losing one of my last friends right now. Not with everything that was going on with Willis, and starting to finally come to terms with my internment, and the mission being up in the air.

 _Come on,_ I thought to myself as I brought my gun up as we jogged through the snowy woods. _Give me something to work with here. That's all I ask. Please don't let this entire deployment consist of one big pile of misery._

Yet it seemed my pleas to the big man upstairs went unheeded, because the next thing I heard over the general channel was _not_ what I was expecting. At all.

"Colonel, this is Flight Leader!" Willis suddenly cried. "Keep your heads down! We've got enemy air support incoming!"

Oh, right. Because I didn't have enough on my plate right now.


	38. Chapter 37: Headstrong 2

Author's Note: Slight warning for gore.

* * *

 **Chapter Thirty-Seven: Headstrong, Part Two**

We scrambled through the forest even faster after hearing Willis's warning, but it helped very little when a ragtag group of Pelicans and Banshees came swooping in. The battlefield was already overwhelmed with noise - from weapons, explosives, tanks, and MGs - and yet still, they managed to cut through the chaos and send my heart into overdrive.

"Everyone hit the dirt, _now!_ "

It was the last thing I yelled before diving into the snow, hoping the thick cluster of trees just outside the compound would be enough cover. I dropped hard onto my rifle and grabbed my helmet in my hands, feeling the earth shake beneath us as heavy fire poured down from above. For a horrible minute everything in the early morning darkness of the forest lit up, first from the rounds as they came at us, then from the detonations they caused on the ground. And the devastation that followed in their wake was immense.

Breathing hard now with my pulse thundering in my ears, I raised my head as soon as the air cleared and stared at the carnage - fallen trees, massive black craters in the ground, screams from Marines who'd been hit - as well as rebs - and the hulking, burnt-out metal carcass of Wolverine-One about a hundred meters ahead.

"Fuck." I picked myself up fast, snow fluffs falling from my uniform and gun, and keyed the COM. "Sakato? You okay?"

"Y-yes, ma'am," came the reply. "I'm in Wolverine-Two, thankfully. But my men..."

"I know. We'll get them back for this." I quickly switched channels. "Hawk?"

"Colonel. I saw what happened down there. We're going after 'em now to try to prevent another run."

"Good. Those looked like older models."

"They are," he confirmed.

"I guess the rebs've been collecting more than just 'Hogs and guns, then."

They certainly seemed to have cleaned up those old war souvenirs well enough. Their air support wouldn't be able to rival ours in a straight fight, but there was no doubt they'd been fixed up to do some damage. And the results were right in front of me to see.

But I couldn't spend time dwelling on that now. We had to pick up and go on.

"Keep me updated, Major."

"Will do."

I cut the connection and switched to the main channel. "Marines, let's move. Push forward. Captain Sakato?"

"Colonel?"

"Do everything you can to keep that last tank running. Keep in the trees until our flight leader has things under control upstairs."

"Yes, ma'am."

With that we were on the move again, trying to break through the intense fighting around us to reach the compound. I still hadn't heard back from Lloyd, and at this point I feared the worst. We had to get in there - not only for the success of the mission, but to rescue my good friend.

As we rushed past as fast as we could on foot in the snow, I spared a quick glance to my left at what remained of Wolverine-One. The fire was out now, thanks to a cascade of snow that seemed to have fallen on it from the trees above, but the blackened battle scars were there. The entire top hatch had melted, the twisted figures inside all that remained of the Marines who'd operated the tank. I shuddered. That wasn't a good way to go.

Bullets whizzed past my head, forcing me to focus again on what lay ahead. We tried our best to move cover to cover, tree to tree, but many were now either smoking, splintered, or all but completely uprooted as we got closer and closer to the main line. The 904th's Marines were also now fighting with us - and we were all the subject of attention from the rebs that guarded the depot.

I couldn't let them take out our last tank; despite having Willis's air wing in the skies, it would be a massive blow to our firepower here on the ground. With that in mind, I hailed my husband again while I came up to a tree trunk and crouched, pausing for just a moment to fire back at the enemy now that we were finally in range.

"Major, give me a sitrep!"

There was a moment's hesitation, then, "Keepin' 'em busy, ma'am!"

"Are all of your squadrons engaged?"

"Negative!"

"Then give me one at the entrance for a run! Be sure they're just shy of the facility - we don't want to light the whole place up. But I need those heavy weapons gone and a straight shot in for Mullen's battalion."

"Acknowledged, Colonel. Standby."

In the meantime, I addressed my own team of Marines as well as the 904th. "Everyone halt! I repeat, do _not_ go forward! Friendly air incoming! Wait for my order to move."

Acknowledgement lights winked green across my HUD, and I took the moment to hunker down and pick targets through my battle rifle's scope, rather than just fire blindly in the enemy's direction. I soon found Gunnery Sergeant York crouching beside me, as well as a second Marine from my security detail on the other side, and together we focused our efforts on the rebs up on the rooftop - scurrying from one side to the other with either rockets or sniper rifles, and running ammo for the MGs.

I aimed down my sights and saw one of the enemy machine guns rattling away, then quickly spotted a runner moving from cover to cover. In the last few meters, though, I saw he'd have to expose himself for just a couple of seconds to reach one of the guns - and that's where I positioned my crosshairs, waiting.

A short while later he picked up and made a go for it - and got two tight bursts of lead in his chest for his efforts, just above his torso armor. He dropped to the ground in a spray of blood, and didn't even twitch again.

"You got 'im!" the Marine beside me cried.

I nodded and keyed the COM. "Snipers, MG on the left is out of ammo! Tag him now!"

The response was instant. I watched as a sharpshooter made a clean shot right through the rebel's helmet.

"Kill confirmed," I said through the radio. "Nice shot."

I'd just swept to the side with my gun, picking out my next target, when my husband's best friend's voice flooded my helmet.

"Colonel, we're coming in hot! Better hunker down!" Captain Heat shouted.

"Got it! Give 'em hell, Brandon."

"Plan to, ma'am!"

"All ground units, hold! Friendly incoming now!"

The sound of a squadron of Pelicans flying in - the newest models this time, ours - was something to behold. They fired as they rushed past, a succession of explosions sounding one after another, creating a deadly chorus of chaos all along the facility's entrance. It was exactly the kind of softening up we needed, but one I had to make sure was done correctly and precisely, if we didn't want our spook team inside to go up in smoke, too. Ultimately we had to destroy the cache, but only once we got out with the intel. Thankfully, Heat was just the man to ensure that happened.

"Yeah! Direct hit, Colonel," he said over the COM channel. "You be sure to let us know when you need us again. That was fun! And stay safe down there, Cooper."

"Will do, Heat. Thanks for the assist."

The fact that my husband's friend was more concerned about my well-being than Willis himself was telling, and hurtful. But like the rest of my unit now, I had no choice but to just move forward.

* * *

Captain Heat's run had made an enormous difference in the level of resistance my Marines faced outside, but even as my detail, Ethan, and I moved in on the entrance now, I could see the fight was far from over. Once the smoke cleared, even more rebs moved into position - and this time, they brought along some alien friends.

"Marines, you've got Jackal snipers coming out! Watch yourselves!" I said into the general channel.

"Not only that, Nat," Ethan added behind me over our private link. "Look on the far side."

"Holy shit."

Joining the fray were dozens of Knights, Watchers, and Crawlers - I could see their faster-than-a-blink blurs of movement from here, conspicuously different than the more natural motion of organic forms, like humans and Covies. Caleb had been right; even on the outside, their numbers were staggering.

"That's not good," my ex remarked. "If they're rushing out, it's very possible that - "

"Cal's position got overrun," I finished. With dread filling me, I addressed everyone again. "All units, we've got Prometheans pouring out of the compound now. Sakato, focus your efforts on them. Call in air support if you need it, but keep that tank alive and _hold those lines_. Major Mullen?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I'm heading inside with Commander Ackerson's spook team. Remember you've got Brewer's company in the rear if you need them. It's your show here until I get back."

"On it!"

"All right. Cooper out."

I turned back and nodded to Gunny York, and then Ethan. More so than before, we had a definite time limit we needed to stick to now. To get Lloyd's team out, grab our intel, find and rig the cache, and get the hell out.

 _All in a day's work,_ I thought with a sigh.

* * *

"Suggestions on how to get in?" I asked Ethan once we were clear of the main line.

He gestured ahead. "Same way as the lieutenant's team, I think. Just have to be prepared for extra trouble."

"Okay. York, we'll go in first, with the spooks behind. Stay cautious, but above all, move _quick_. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," came a chorus of voices.

"Great. Let's go."

With the battle raging outside, I was expecting more resistance at the entrance. There was none. Since the thick door had previously been breached by Lloyd and his spooks, there wasn't anything special we had to do this time to get inside.

No alarms sounded, either, and no auto-turrets activated.

"Just like that, huh?" I said, and Ethan shrugged.

"Forgot the lock?"

"Maybe, but I don't buy it. Stay sharp."

Caleb had said he was pinned down by the various forces in here. If they weren't at the entrance, they had to be further in.

The silence and lack of enemy presence so far was making me nervous. I raised my gun, gripping it tight. The Marines up at point did the same, moving at a clipped pace now down the hall and between rooms.

I risked a hail to the lieutenant. "Lloyd, it's Colonel Cooper. I need to know if you and your team made it. Ping me back if you can't speak."

I waited, alternating my attention between my HUD and the corridor.

"Anything?" my ex asked.

"No." I sighed. "I think we need to be ready to - "

"Contacts!" one of the noncoms up front yelled, and we all instantly stacked up against the wall.

I couldn't see from my vantage point, so I keyed the COM. "What've we got, Corporal?"

"Prometheans, ma'am! They're coming up n - "

It was a Knight, followed quickly by a Crawler Gunny York put down in a split second. My team's leader then pivoted in one fluid motion to shield me, keeping me back.

The corporal up at point, however, had no one, and no warning. Before any of us could react, the Knight sunk its blade deep into his chest, leaving the Marine gasping for breath and choking on his own blood. He dropped to the floor with his eyes wide open, gagging, and that's when the rest of us recovered enough to engage.

"Open fire!" I shouted, going down on one knee as I skirted past York to shoot. "Open fire _now!_ And get to the corporal!"

I realized very quickly that I hadn't missed fighting these bots at all. I took aim at another Crawler on fast approach and squeezed off two rapid bursts, putting it down, only to find three more were behind it.

"Núñez! Let's get that SAW into play!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"York, get your Marines on the bigger targets! Ackerson, your team will keep these dogs off!"

"Understood!"

"Good. Grenade out!"

I stepped up in the middle of the fray, unhooking a frag off my web belt as I went, and tossed it into the oncoming bunch. With gloved fingers I signaled the rest of the Marines to prepare for the detonation - _three, two, one_ \- and then pressed my back hard into a nook in the wall. The explosive went off the same moment I shut my eyes tight, and when I reopened them, smoke and the stench of burnt and twisted metal permeated the air.

"Now! Get 'em while they're down!"

For my part, I stuck close to the wall, turning the corner just to pop off several quick bursts before ducking back. York came up on the opposite side, along with a couple other Marines from my detail, including Núñez, trying to take the brunt of the counterattack. The SAW did wonders for crowd control in the tight space, and in a matter of minutes, we had it all wrapped up.

While the Knights' bodies had disappeared, as usual, we found ourselves stepping past dozens of pieces of wreckage from Crawlers and Watchers - a testament to their numbers as well as our ability to handle them better now that they'd been studied.

Yet still, as I walked up to the mortally wounded corporal and realized he hadn't made it, I felt the emotional punch of losing one of our own. One of _my_ own - and that put a huge damper on the mood.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, crouching for just a moment as we passed. I touched a gloved hand to his helmet, then looked over at Ethan. "We need to get his body out of here when we're done."

My ex shook his head. "Don't think it'll be possible, Colonel. You should focus on the living."

"I am," I answered solemnly as I pulled off the Marine's dogtags and stuck them in my cargo pocket. "But I won't forget those who sacrificed for me, either." I released a second sigh. "That's another one, Ethan."

"Don't dwell on it, Cooper. He knew what he was getting into. We all do."

I frowned at his words but said nothing while I stood. "All right. Eyes and guns up the rest of the way, Marines. Based on Lieutenant Lloyd's report, there's plenty more where that came from."

* * *

Running into the Prometheans had been expected, but we still had no idea about how they'd arrived, why they were here, and why they seemed to be cropping up in all the places the rebs were in lately. They obviously weren't working together; they were fighting each other here on Puget just as much as they fought us, and I didn't see any benefit to their cooperation. At this point I didn't have a clue what was going on with them - and I was starting to doubt that the cache alone, if found, would hold those answers for us.

But it was sure nice to see that our enemies had enemies, too.

As we moved in on one of the main common rooms now, York suddenly cried, "Hold it!"

"What's going on?" I radioed from further back. "What do you see?"

"Big open space, two stories. And miles and miles of crates, ma'am."

"This is it. The weapons cache."

"Affirmative, Colonel."

I glanced back at Ethan. "Tag it. All of it."

He nodded and immediately stepped forward. "Moving."

Still up at point, the gunnery sergeant stepped inside first, on the lookout for any guards. Three of my security detail followed him, then two more. Only then did Ethan and his ONI team go ahead.

"Clear?" I called out.

"Clear," my ex confirmed. "It's quieter than I'd expect, but if they had that many troops outside, and the Prometheans inside were hounding Lloyd...it doesn't surprise me that security's light."

"Yeah. That's exactly what I was hoping for." I paused. "Even so, make sure you move fast. We still need to locate your colleague."

"Yes, ma'am."

My buddy was still on my mind as I finally walked into the room, the last two Marines in my detail coming with me, just a few steps behind to cover my six. With everyone on the spook team cataloging the crates and readying the cache to blow, and my own Marines simultaneously keeping an eye on me and any potential threats, I was mostly my own first line of defense.

And I hadn't counted on a group of rebels to be hiding _amongst_ the crates, rather than _guarding_ them.

"Rebs!" I yelled. "Weapons up!"

My detail reacted fast, but as only two were on my six - and the rest had to maneuver into better positions to fight - I didn't have quite the coverage I should have. A pair of rebels were killed as they lunged for me from their hiding places, but the third was not, and he managed to clock me in the side of the head before I could squeeze the trigger.

It took me a moment to realize that I'd been hit by the butt of his rifle - and besides giving me an instant, massive headache, it had me seeing stars. Momentarily disoriented, I was grabbed by the shoulder, hauled across the room, and shoved into the wall - hard - all in the space of a few seconds.

Head still spinning, I heard shouting all around me, but couldn't make out the words. I reached quickly for my sidearm, only to feel a sharp pain in my hand as I watched it skitter across the floor in front of me; it'd been batted away by the reb before I could use it. With my battle rifle also on the ground from the initial hit, that left me with only one last weapon at my disposal: my combat knife.

I wasn't able to grab it yet, though. The rebel came at me with another swing, an uppercut to the chin, but this time I was able to recover enough to dodge out of the way. I swung instead, and found purchase right on his ribs. He howled but didn't budge, and, surprising us both, suddenly reached down and pulled my leg out from under me.

I panicked and grabbed a hold of his arms with both of mine and we went down together. The shouting around us got louder, gunshots were fired, but I still couldn't make out what was said or what was happening - and in this instant, I didn't care. This reb was going to kill me - I knew it, I could feel it. No one was close enough to help yet that I was aware of.

But in the moment my vision was down to a single, focused frame, and that was encompassed wholly by the man now on top of me trying to make me die.

He had the same idea as me and almost immediately reached for a blade at his hip, but I pushed past and grabbed hold of his throat in one hand and punched his knife hand with the other. He'd barely touched the hilt before he groaned and shrunk back, and that was the opening I needed. I pulled at the grip of his knife with my left hand, keeping my right exactly where it was until his fist hit my elbow with crushing force, and I let go with a yelp.

He tried to take the knife back but twisted to do so, and I was able to get my knee up hard between his legs. He grunted again and stopped, and I was able to switch hands, grabbing hold of his jacket in my left with the blade in my right this time.

Someone fired a bullet that whizzed past the both of us, and he flinched. That's when I used all my strength to lift my upper body from beneath him, and sunk the combat knife deep into the side of his neck.

The only thing more startling than the fountain of blood that hit me like an ocean wave was his agonized scream. I was certain I'd remember it forever. I shut my eyes tight as I pushed him off, enough to get him on his back beside me as he died, but not enough for me to roll over completely. I felt momentarily spent, breathing hard, soaked in his blood, and way too tired to get up.

The reb was no longer a threat, too weak to move - and I knew a wound like that would kill him in minutes. Still, my ex didn't even wait that long. As soon as he finally reached me, Ethan stood over the reb, lowered his sidearm, and shot him point-blank.

"He was...going to bleed out anyway," I managed.

"Call it a mercy kill."

He reached down and offered me his hand, and I took it. Once he hauled me up to my feet, I could see that my detail and his spooks had already cleared out the rest. In all, eight rebs lay dead on the ground.

"Shit," was all I said. I leaned forward and rested my hands on my knees, my breaths continuing to come too fast.

"The bastards put up a tough fight, but it was still a lighter guard than I was expecting. You okay?"

"Yeah. My head hurts. Could use a shower." I glanced down at myself and winced. "Preferably one with water and not...this."

The carnage all around made me queasy - it really did. But Ethan just smirked.

"Still made out better than he did."

I didn't know what came over me, but I actually laughed. Hysteria from the near-death experience, I supposed.

"That's very fucking true."

While Ethan's team finished up with the cache, though, I sobered. I'd just killed a fellow human being in a very brutal way - and my good friend was still missing. My arm throbbed where I'd been hit, and my head, and I was filthy from top to bottom now. The adrenaline was completely gone, and all I felt in its wake was intense, utter exhaustion.

 _I hope this is over soon,_ I thought to myself then. _And Cal, I hope you're just hunkered down somewhere...and not dead._

We'd find out soon enough.


	39. Chapter 38: Headstrong 3

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Headstrong, Part Three**

I reeked.

I could smell myself even past my helmet's filters. It made it difficult to try to put what had just occurred behind me, at least for the time being. I knew I'd never forget, and I knew I'd had no choice but to do what I'd done - unless _I_ wanted to be the one lying lifeless on the floor in a pool of blood instead of him. I didn't. I wanted to live. But it was still hard for me to realize that more often than not, it meant a life had to be taken for mine. And that was something that would never sit well with me.

Before we moved out, I felt Ethan squeeze my shoulder.

"You did what you had to, Nat," he said quietly, reading my thoughts. "We need you. And so do your kids back home."

I took in a shaky breath over our private channel, the only loss of composure I'd allow myself here. "I know. But how do you...knowing what I know now, about what we've done...I can't even blame them for hating us."

Ethan snorted. "It's not the first resort you'd ever want to take. But no matter the circumstances, Natalie, the Spartans in large part saved the War for us. We both know that. They're what allowed us to last long enough to even reach the point of a truce with the Elites...and without that, I'm sorry to say, the human race would have been over. No doubt about it."

"I...understand that." I glanced up at him then. "But Ethan, if I ever found out someone took my kids like that and left me with a dud, turned them into cyborg soldiers...I'd want revenge, too."

"Life's not black and white, Cooper. There's always going to be some gray."

"You say that because you're not a parent."

"Colonel?"

It was Gunny York interrupting over the general channel, and I turned in his direction.

"Gage? What's going on?"

"I hear fighting down the hall, ma'am. It's faint, but - "

"It could be Cal," I finished. I looked back at Ethan. "Wrap things up here, now. I'm going ahead with York to see what's happening."

"Be safe," my ex said, and I nodded before heading out.

* * *

Upon reentering the corridor, I strained to listen as we jogged in the direction of the sounds. We were getting deeper into the facility now - and I had to believe that meant my friend was alive.

 _Don't get your hopes up,_ a part of me thought then. _It could just be rebs fighting off the Prometheans._

But still, that would be our best bet to find Lloyd.

"Clear those rooms up ahead first," I ordered over the channel, and York rapidly went through with my security detail and did so, leaving two Marines behind to guard me.

"All clear," he announced when they finished.

"Good. Let's move."

It didn't take long for us to join the fray. As we continued down the long corridor, we ran smack into three rebs running the opposite way - trying to get away from the fighting, which grew louder and closer now. We were all equally surprised and brought our weapons up at the same time, but it was the rebs who were outnumbered and outgunned here. York and Núñez made quick work of the trio using assault rifle and SAW, and we ran past the bodies to reach the doorway they'd just exited.

"Well, this is where the party's at!" Núñez cried.

"Shit. Look for the lieutenant and his team!" I called back. "We've gotta push through and search!"

That was easier said than done, however. We were in what looked like the mess hall for this place, and it was huge. There were two decks, just like in the room with the weapons cache, and small skirmishes between the rebels and the Prometheans raged all around us. If Lloyd had only run into the AI-bots before, it seemed that at some point, many of the rebs left behind had decided to engage as well.

That wasn't our problem, though. If anything, the chaos may have helped Cal and his team escape.

As I moved through the room with my detail, I tried hailing him again. "Lloyd, Cooper! If you can hear me, I _need_ you to tell me where you are!"

I didn't get an answer, but as I sidestepped a fallen Watcher and brought down a second while we ran, I heard a faint _ping_ go through my helmet, followed by a quick flash in the corner of my HUD. Even in the midst of the battle, I almost chuckled in relief.

"He's alive! The lieutenant is here!" I said through the general channel. "Let's find him!" Switching back to my link with Cal, I added, "Got you loud and clear, buddy. Now where are you in this mess?"

"Top floor, ma'am!" came a distant, static-filled reply.

"Roger that, Lieutenant!"

It was going to take some maneuvering. We'd been sticking close to the edges of the room until now, trying to keep out of the fighting as much as possible, hoping we wouldn't get noticed in the chaos. That was about to change now as I led the charge straight into the thick of it, rushing past a hail of bullets and light rounds and bodies, and sprinting right up the main stairs.

An unexpected EMP blast almost made me trip up the last step - a Promethean somewhere had tossed a light grenade. But since our deployment to Requiem, and the subsequent fighting on Earth, more intense training against such things had been implemented across all levels of the UNSC's ranks. Rather than lose complete orientation, I blinked and continued forward as my helmet's systems rebooted, barely missing a step. Behind me, my detail did the same.

"Colonel, watch out!"

York issued the warning just as a pack of Crawlers approached, but just as Núñez sprinted up to my side with his SAW, a group of rebs unleashed a storm of bullets from their assault rifles to bring the bots down. Then, before they could turn their attention to us, Núñez and I redirected our fire to them and squeezed our triggers.

"They're down! Let's go! Caleb?"

"Here, ma'am."

I grinned. "It's damn good to hear you. We're here, but I don't see you."

"We're...inside a maintenance shaft, ma'am. It's why it's been so hard to get a signal out. I ordered my team in here once it was clear we'd get overrun out there, and then the rebs showed up, and it's...well, it sounds like it's been a battle royale ever since. So we stayed put."

"You did good!" I shouted over the fighting around me. "It's crazy out here, but we're all done. Found the cache and it's rigged to blow. We just need to get you out. Think you can get to us?"

"Yes, ma'am! Coming out now."

In the meantime, neither the rebels nor the Prometheans allowed us much room to breathe - there was hardly _any_ room out here that wasn't taken up by the two factions trying to kill each other. I quickly ordered my detail to take cover behind some crates, an odd but fortuitous set up that kept us out of reach from the rounds down below, as well as the ones up top. As rebs or bots grew closer, we'd pop up from cover to tag the few that noticed our presence, but most were too engaged in their own fights. That worked to our advantage, as I saw soon after that Lloyd's team was making their way towards us, heads ducked low as they ran and pausing on occasion to unload on enemies, as needed.

"Cal!"

I couldn't help myself. I stood out of cover and pulled him into a quick hug, and Lloyd chuckled as he patted my back once.

"Good to see you, too, ma'am. We're ready to get out of here now if you are."

"Follow me."

Reemerging from the chow hall took some strategic movements and a lot of guts, but we were able to get past unharmed - all of us. It was nice to have something go right for once, but things weren't quite over just yet. We still had to make it back outside - and even then, there'd still be resistance.

But one thing at a time, I reminded myself.

"Down the hall!" I yelled as we sprinted through the corridor again, back towards the cache. "We're picking up the commander and his team and getting the hell out."

"What about our intel on the Prometheans, Colonel?" Caleb asked.

"Did you find anything out?"

"No, ma'am. No time. We got cornered pretty early on. Still no leads."

 _Dammit._ "Well, we'll have to cut our losses for today, Lieutenant. I'd say things here are just warming up, and I do _not_ want that fight in there to make it to the outside."

"Copy."

I knew what that meant. Now that the depot was rigged, we'd be blowing not only the precious supply cache Laraza relied on, and not only the AI-bots inside, but also all of the rebs still engaged in the enormous skirmish in the mess.

They'd have no warning whatsoever of what was to come. But I had no choice but to make the call.

We reached the room with the cache. Finally pausing for just a minute to catch our breaths, I glanced around the place for Ethan and found him.

"We need to leave, now. Is your team ready?"

He nodded. "Good to go, ma'am."

"That's what I wanted to hear. Out the way we came, then. Let's hope there's no stragglers."

There weren't. We ran back out into the surrounding forest, where the battle out here was continuing to rage, too. But perhaps not for much longer now.

"Willis - uh, Major Hawk?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Status upstairs?"

"Enemy air neutralized, Colonel. You shouldn't have any more problems on that front."

"Good. Then tell your flyboys to steer clear of the compound. We're lighting it up in a second."

"Understood."

I reentered the general channel then to include the 904th battalion. "Marines, the depot is officially rigged. Retreat to a safe distance, _now_. I repeat, disengage and haul ass to the RV point."

It would take several minutes; the combat out here wasn't quite as intense as when we'd gone in, but the enemy wasn't just going to let us pack up and leave. And _we_ still had to get out of the blast radius as well.

"Lloyd, Ackerson, York - let's get these teams moving. We're heading back to the command position. Engage only where needed; our goal here is to get the hell away from the compound, not stop the battle."

"Yes, ma'am," the three men answered, and with that, it was back to running like our asses were on fire.

And in a way, they were. Or at least would be, very soon.

* * *

We were only about halfway back to Brewer's rear guard company when we heard the explosion. Even all the way back here, a hot blast of air hit with the force of a strong wind, nearly bowling some of us over as we ran. I tripped but managed to keep myself upright, then halted to turn around and watch. Slowly, so did the rest of us, everyone breathing hard and no doubt sweating inside their helmets, even in the cold. I knew I was.

"Fucking shit," Núñez murmured, and I couldn't help but silently agree.

We hadn't witnessed the detonation head-on, but just seeing the results was very humbling. The entire compound had crumbled in on itself, a thick smoke plume covered the main lines, even more trees had fallen...and suddenly, much of the battlefield had gone quiet.

"Mission accomplished, ma'am," Ethan said softly behind me.

"Not yet," I said, equally subdued. "We need to confirm."

I hit the COM for the general channel again. "Status?"

"Air is green," my husband replied, surprisingly the first to respond this time.

"Sakato?"

"Wolverine-Two remains operational, ma'am."

"Mullen?"

"Company commanders are still checking in, ma'am, but I think we all made it out in time."

I forced myself to keep in my sigh of relief until I knew for sure. "And our enemies? Any Prometheans and rebs make it out?"

"None so far, ma'am," the 904th's commander replied. "Not from the compound, at least. We've still got some stragglers to mop up outside, but no large force to deal with, and Hawk announced there's no more enemy air."

"I've been notified, Wayne. Thank you."

"No problem, Colonel."

"Cooper out."

There it was - now, I could finally let go that one last, relieved breath.

 _Finally, a step forward,_ I thought.

* * *

It was hours before the combat truly ceased - even mop up duty took its time. I thought I'd been exhausted before, but now it was sinking into my very bones. When I finally slung my battle rifle behind my back, I didn't even have any extra mags for my gun left. At least that made my person lighter, not carrying around so much ammo. But I still ached all over, and smelled, and now the rebel blood all over me had darkened and hardened into a cakey paste. Not the way I wanted to present myself...but I supposed it was a fitting way to be after battle.

I finally leaned back against a tree and shut my eyes tight - still standing for now, but only just.

"Well, I'm definitely not winning my husband back looking like this," I said, and Ethan snorted over our private channel.

"You forgot about your stench, too. They can probably smell you from Cordonnes."

"There's a thought."

"Better put your best foot forward, Nat. He's coming over."

I reopened my eyes then, startled. "What?"

"His Pelican just touched down behind us."

I pushed off the tree trunk and turned to look. Sure enough, a Marine dressed in a flight suit was coming towards us. Subtly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ethan make himself scarce - as did most of my security detail. They remained keeping watch over me, but broadened their perimeter. I guess everyone had known of his arrival dirtside but me.

"Colonel, we're ready to depart if you are. We just - "

Willis stopped mid-sentence then and just stared, momentarily taken aback. "Holy...Natalie, what the hell happened to you?"

I glanced down at myself before looking back up. Yeah, it still looked really bad. And stunk.

Unfortunately, I couldn't help either of those things at the moment.

"Not mine," I said quickly. Then I made a feeble attempt at a smirk. "You should see the other guy."

My husband had removed the tint in his helmet's visor, and I saw him frown rather than smile in return. Not what I'd been going for...but to be expected, I guess.

More than anything, he still seemed shocked at the state of me.

"I had to make a...very close quarters kill," I explained. "Didn't leave me a lot of room to stay clean."

Willis didn't respond at first. Just continued to stare. When the scrutiny finally got to be unbearable, he shook his head.

"You really have changed, haven't you?" he said quietly, then turned back and motioned towards his bird. "Come on. Your ride back to base awaits."


	40. Chapter 39: Angel on Fire

Author's Note: Chapter title comes from the song "Angel on Fire" by Halsey. Yes, I'm obsessed. :P

* * *

 **Chapter Thirty-Nine: Angel on Fire**

 **0235 Hours, January 11, 2561. Near the City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget. "The Long Way Down," Outer Colonies. Day Eighty-Four of the Dark Side of the World**

A week had gone by since our op at the rebel weapons cache, and there'd still been no word. Nothing from the rebs in town, or Laraza, nothing more about the mysterious Promethean presence...and no further interaction with Willis, either, barring business.

We hadn't been going down a great road before, and now, with what had happened at the depot, things between us seemed to have been placed firmly on hold. I had no doubt seeing me in the state I'd been in at the end had done a number on our relationship. It was everything I'd feared for so long: Willis saw me in a different light now, no doubt about it. And just as I'd predicted, he didn't like it one bit.

I'd cleaned up as soon as we'd returned to our main camp here in Cordonnes, done the whole nine yards - showered, changed, and then showered again. I'd tossed out my blood-drenched fatigues entirely, not even bothering to try to get them back to decent condition. It wasn't worth the trouble, and I knew they never would be.

And even if they could be brought back, I didn't want them. Didn't want to literally wear the memory of me taking another person's life that way. Even if it had been justified, I just didn't want that lingering over me in my wardrobe, as well as my mind.

So that's how my husband and I were now sitting at two weeks since his arrival, and we still hadn't spoken after our fight. Not beyond courtesies and terse one-word answers, anyway. And the longer we went without addressing the problems in our relationship - or even if we were still _in_ one at all - the more anxious and restless I got.

Right now I lay inside my private quarters, just staring at the walls in the dark. I couldn't sleep. Hadn't been able to for hours. I just went over everything in my head again and again, and I knew I needed something to break free of this...mental prison. I needed to know what was really going on. The uncertainty was killing me, and in order to process - in order to prepare myself for the inevitable and move on - I had to know where we stood.

I rolled over to grab my watch from the nightstand. It was past 0230 hours. He'd probably be asleep. But right now, it didn't matter anymore. At this point I wasn't even going to wait until dawn to finally try to talk.

As far as I was concerned, it was now or never, so I got up and dressed. After I'd pulled on my battledress pants over my underwear and thrown on a T-shirt over my bra, I pulled on my socks and stepped out into the hall.

I wasn't going to have to go outside to get to Willis's quarters, so I decided to forgo my boots and jacket and the rest of my gear. It was warm enough inside the senior officers' barracks thanks to the engineers. I just had to find the right room.

Seeing as my XO and Lloyd shared one, there weren't exactly many options left. There was theirs, mine, Mullen's, what used to be Harris's - now painfully empty - and my husband's. Only five in all, although they were spaced out pretty well. I reached his door in short order, then stood outside for a moment, trying to get up the courage to knock.

After taking a deep breath, I finally raised my fist and did so.

"Willis?" I called out, only half-whispering. "It's me. Open up."

It didn't happen right away. In fact, I was just about to knock again, unsure if he'd heard the first time, when the door was suddenly pulled inward.

In the dim lighting, Willis looked exhausted as well, and it didn't seem like he'd been sleeping at the time, either. His short hair was a mess, his hazel eyes tired and red-rimmed as he ran a hand over his face. He was dressed only in a white T-shirt and boxers, though he pulled on a pair of PT shorts in his hand as he stood there.

"What?"

"We need to talk, Will. Please."

My husband spared me a quick glance before quickly saying, "No," and began shutting the door again.

I stopped him.

"Then are you ready to call this what it is and end things here and now? For good?" I countered, raising my voice just a little. "Because I'm not going to grovel and plead with you, Willis. If you're truly done with this...with _us_ , then you need to say so and own it."

"Yeah? Just like that?"

I took in another steadying breath, but my voice still faltered. "It would break my heart," I replied with emotion I couldn't hide, enunciating each word. "This already has. But I am the victim here, Willis, and I'm damn tired of being punished for it. I went through something of a magnitude so great you can't possibly understand. And yes, I made a mistake while I tried to process, but you...you've been so _frustratingly_ unfair to me." I finally regained control of my voice again and sighed. "All I'm asking for here is a chance."

There was a moment where our eyes met, and I thought he was going to turn me away again. But instead he released a heavy sigh, stepping out of the way and opening the door a little wider to let me in.

"Fine."

"Thank you," I said, and crossed the threshold into the room.

Willis sat down on the chair at his desk, facing it outward. In the meantime, I stood awkwardly by the closed door, folding my arms across my chest, very unsure how this was going to go.

When neither of us spoke and the silence hung in the air between us, he sighed again.

"Go ahead and sit. I can't do this with you hovering over me."

"Okay."

The only other place was his bed, so I sat down slowly on the edge. I'd thought about what I'd say to him for weeks, but now that we were here, I found myself with the same hang up as always - my voice was gone.

"Do you want me to start?" he asked.

"No. I think you've made your position pretty clear. I just..." I ran a hand through my hair, let down for the night, and tried to form the words. "To be honest, I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about everything and I...wanted to come see you."

My husband leaned back in his chair, seeming to settle from the communication. "I couldn't sleep, either. This...has been hard for me, too, you know. To see the woman I love..." He trailed off and shook his head. " - be so changed. And so close with someone I can't stand."

I quickly raised my hand. "Hold on. Look, just...take Ethan out of the equation for a minute. We kissed, and I'm sorry, but I want you to know that I don't have those kinds of feelings for him. I don't love him. I just..." I hesitated, and seeing as words were failing me right now, I thought maybe action might work better. So before I lost my nerve, I reached out to touch my husband's cheek. "I miss you."

My voice had lowered but remained steady, although I could feel the emotional pull just behind my eyes. Willis stared right back, giving away nothing until his eyes softened, and he finally brought his own hand up to mine. That became the spark for us both - I felt something when we touched, and apparently so did he.

I wasn't sure how it happened or who leaned in first, but a moment later we were kissing. It was slow at first, experimental, but then Willis moved his hand behind my head and pulled me further in. I couldn't resist, even though given the circumstances, this was the last thing we should be doing.

It'd been too long and I wanted him. Everything else we'd figure out later.

At his beckoning I stood to come straddle him on the chair, deepening our kiss and taking his head in my hands as our lips and tongues met. He wrapped his arms tightly around me in the beginning, kissing me back with equal fervor, until we were rocking gently against one another and anxious to remove all our barriers and get to it.

We said nothing, and for once I didn't have to worry about having to get my point across to him with words. I kissed his neck as he slid his hands beneath my shirt to unhook my bra, making me shiver in the best possible way, and then I pulled back for a second so he could take everything off. With a wicked grin I leaned in again, planting my lips on his as I got him out of his own shirt. I slid my hands up his chest while he started in on the fly of my fatigues...and soon after that, I was pretty damn sure my brain took a vacation.

* * *

We'd never made it to the bed the first time. It was only once we were ready to go again that we did. Afterward we both sunk into the sheets, side by side, and fell asleep. It was pure bliss while it lasted, and I even managed to wake up with a very satisfied smile on my face.

Until I remembered what had brought us together in the first place. _That_ was like a punch to the gut.

This hadn't been like the other times we'd made love throughout the years. In fact, if I were honest with myself, I wouldn't even call that what we'd done. It'd been more a matter of physical release for both of us, and that was something I was very unused to in our marriage. There'd been heat, and passion, but the closeness and heart were missing.

I wanted that back. Because without those things, it felt...empty.

Like now. As I became more awake and fully aware of my surroundings and circumstances, it suddenly felt wrong. I was lying naked beside my husband - not unusual, but in that instant I remembered he didn't even know if he wanted to be with me anymore. And the fact that he hadn't spoken a word to me before last night and generally didn't even want to interact with me at all...even after what had happened, I just didn't know where we stood.

So I got up, quietly, to dress. And with one last look at his peacefully sleeping face, I left.


	41. Chapter 40: An Almost Truce

**Chapter Forty: An Almost Truce**

After showering, I went back to my own quarters to pull on the rest of my uniform, along with my helmet, weapon, and gloves. Once I was geared up for the outside I made my way to the mess hall, where I downed a quick coffee and picked up another to bring with me.

It was quiet inside the command tent when I walked in. It was early still, and only a skeleton crew of a few aides and an officer were there. I glanced up in surprise to find that one of them was my XO, Major Brewer.

"Good morning, ma'am."

"Good morning, Dani."

I took a generous sip of my second coffee. I thought I'd left my husband's quarters before anyone else in our part of the barracks had woken up; I wasn't running on only a couple hours of sleep for nothing.

"A better start to the day for some than for others," she said cryptically, still not looking at me.

I started to get a little uneasy.

"What do you mean? Anything new to report?" I asked. I really hoped she was alluding to something to do with the rebels or Prometheans, and not me.

"No, ma'am," my XO answered with a straight face. "I just saw you leaving Major Hawk's room earlier."

"Um...what?"

She did a terrible job of hiding a small grin. "I'm glad you two finally made up."

I didn't even have a chance to touch that one, as just in that moment, one of the aides in the room approached.

"Ma'am, the latest reports from the spooks checking in, as requested."

Brewer and I both stared at him.

"Did they find something?" I asked.

"Didn't say, Colonel. Just mentioned to read the text."

I exchanged a look with my second-in-command before downloading the message.

"Cal okay?" I questioned once the aide had left, and Brewer nodded.

"He's fine, ma'am. So is Ackerson." Then her eyes got big. "Prometheans. They found another site where the bots might be congregated. It doesn't sound like the rebels have found it yet."

"That's good to hear. Less resistance for us. And Laraza?"

"No sign of him, but they're keeping their ears to the ground."

That was more disappointing, but Lloyd had just as much reason as me to want to locate the rebel leader who'd successfully disappeared for the past couple months. If anyone could find him, it'd be him and Ethan, along with their teams.

"No leads yet, either, huh?"

"There might be," the major replied. "Caleb mentioned in his report that there's a club in the capital that Laraza manages. It's three hundred klicks from Cordonnes. I'd imagine he'd have to check in over there at some point, since he hasn't poked his head up since our op."

I snorted, recalling the similar locales the rebel general had been in charge of back on Khan. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" Then I frowned. "An operation in the capital would be a whole other ballgame, though."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'll wait on more information to decide."

I was busy scrolling through the spooks' text myself when I heard someone else approach behind us. I turned and was a bit surprised to find Willis standing there, dressed in his armor and fatigues, all geared up. He'd pulled off his helmet, though, and fluffs of snow fell from it as he gripped it in one gloved hand. An SMG slung behind his back completed the outfit.

"Ma'am," he said to me, then glanced at my XO. "Major Brewer."

"Hawk," Brewer returned.

"Colonel, I'd like to speak with you for a minute, if I could. In private."

I met my husband's gaze and shook my head. "No. Not right now."

"It's important."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but kept whatever it was to himself in the presence of others.

"So's looking for the man that held me prisoner," I said, focusing my attention on the message again. "And Cal."

I could tell by the slight tightening of his jaw that he was getting frustrated with me, but it was a subtle mark I doubted anyone else could read.

"Please."

At that, my XO interjected.

"I can take things from here, ma'am," she offered. "I'll let you know if anything more comes up."

Finally, I released a sigh. "Okay. I'll be back."

Brewer gave me a knowing look as we spoke, then quickly turned back to her datapad. Willis looked at me right after, but he didn't say anything until we'd pulled our helmets on, and I'd followed him out of the tent.

"What was that about?" he asked me.

"Brewer knows. About us, I mean, last night. She saw me walking out of your quarters this morning."

Even given the slight tension between us earlier, I could hear a faint smile in my husband's voice now. "Ah. Cat's out of the bag then, huh?"

"There's no cat and there's no bag. It was a one-time thing."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Until we figure out for sure what the hell is happening with us, I think that'd be best."

Willis sighed, going serious again. "All right." We walked along in the snow a little further before he tried again. "So...is Puget always this cold?"

"Yep." It was me who couldn't keep a straight face this time. "And sometimes, if you're _really_ lucky, it gets even worse."

* * *

In short order we found ourselves back at the mess. I hadn't eaten earlier but found I was suddenly starving now - probably due to all the activity the night before. Since there was nothing pressing happening just yet, I took the brief respite for what it was, and settled down into a seat at an empty table with my tray. Willis did the same on the opposite side, and we dug in.

"So what was so important you wanted to talk about?" I asked around a mouthful of eggs.

Willis snorted. "You mean besides the obvious?" He paused to take another bite, but didn't leave me time to reply. He did lower his voice a little, though, as others were having their own morning chow around us. "You didn't wake me before you left."

"I'm sorry. I was just...a little overwhelmed."

"About what?"

I gave him a look.

"Okay, fair enough. But at least it's progress, right?"

"Progress? Willis, we didn't even talk. Not really. I still have no idea...what it is we're doing here, or what's going on."

"Well, we do have a hell of a lot to work out. I won't argue that. But you know I still love you."

I suddenly slammed my fist down on the table, instantly embarrassed that I'd done it - and in doing so, attracted the momentary attention of several other Marines around us. I waited until they returned to their own breakfast trays to speak. I didn't even want to glance up at Willis to see his reaction to my uncontrolled outburst.

"And I love you, too," I said tightly. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shut my eyes for a moment and sighed, collecting myself. "You say you still love me, but do you love the new me, too?"

My husband didn't answer, and I took that as my cue to go on.

"And as I said, I love you. I never stopped. But do I love the person you've been to me throughout all this?" I finally met his gaze. "It's not that simple anymore, Will. You know that."

Willis sat back in his chair then, suddenly disinterested in his meal. I was, too.

The fact that he never came up with a response to what I said spoke volumes about the state of things.

* * *

Not long after, I left my husband sitting in the mess tent as I trudged back to the CP, alone. The cold didn't bother me so much this time; I was too amped up. I was angry once again at Willis, at myself...and above all, at that bastard Javier Laraza, for bringing all of us to this unwanted crossroad.

"I changed my mind," I announced to my XO when I came in. Stepping through the tent, more crowded with aides and staff now, I finally reached Major Brewer by the main console and tapped my datapad in front of her.

She glanced over at me, confused. "Colonel?"

"Send this message out to the spooks. I want Commander Ackerson and his team redeployed immediately to Glacier City."

"The capital, ma'am? But I thought you wanted to - "

"No," I said, cutting her off. "I'm done waiting. We take whatever lead we have now and get after Laraza, any way we can. In the meantime, Lloyd will continue to gather intel on the Prometheans, and then we'll deal with them, too."

It was high time we concentrated our efforts on the real enemy here - the one who'd started it all. The one who'd set me down this path of painful uncertainty in my once-happy marriage, a broken self, and months of turmoil as I tried desperately to cope and rebuild.

It wouldn't help me deal with all the life-changing problems and issues that had arisen because of him. But it would be justice.


	42. Chapter 41: Days Gone By

**Chapter Forty-One: Days Gone By**

 **Five Months Earlier. 1837 Hours, August 3** **, 2560. UNSC Chariot Naval Air Base, Desmond, Regent State, Planet Mars. "The Couple and the Game," Inner Colonies. Pre-Deployment**

It had started out innocent enough. After a long workday with the regiment, Cooper had gone to pick up the kids from the daycare on base. While Willis waited for her to come back, he'd started a pick-up basketball game with his best friend, Captain Brandon Heat, out by the airfield. There wasn't a proper court, just a couple of hoops on opposite ends of some faded, painted lines on the tarmac by the hangars. But it was enough, and with a ball found in one of the nearby offices, Hawk thought it was a good way to pass the time.

"Oh, ho! Heat got _skills!_ "

Brandon said this about himself as he dribbled, poorly, and Willis just snorted.

"Come on, man. I've never seen someone who hits the backboard as much as you. Never the _net_."

"No way! You see, on this court, I'm reigning champ. Even got some Galactic Finals rings to my name."

Hawk just smirked, getting in a wide defensive stance in front of his buddy, who currently had the ball. "Right. And where are those again?"

"Locked up in my safe at home of course...you know, my _mansion_ that I bought with all those _millions_..."

"Dream on. You're a fighter jock who makes just a little more than what you need to live on."

"Hey, man, I'm a bachelor. Pay's not bad for a one-person household." He paused to dribble and fake out Willis, then pushed into him with his shoulders to get past him for a lay-up. "Then again, must be nice to have a wife who's got such a high paygrade backing you up."

"Hey," a voice behind them called out. "I worked really hard for that. And with a brand-new baby to boot."

Hawk's friend momentarily froze, then turned back to face her. "Sorry, Cooper. We're just jabbing each other."

"I know," Natalie returned with a smile. "Think you can give my husband a quick break to say hi to the kids?"

"Sure. He's all yours."

Willis had since taken possession of the ball, but he dropped it and left it bouncing on the court to come greet Gabriel, Liam, Olivia, and little Logan, who was strapped to the front of Cooper's uniform in a carrier. He was facing out and gave his father a big, toothy grin.

"Dada!" he cried, and both Willis and Natalie smiled.

"That's right, little buddy!" Willis said to his youngest, coming up to stroke his hair after giving quick hugs to the older kids. He leaned down to plant a kiss on Logan's head, then said, "Your dad's playing basketball with Brandon. Can you say _basketball_?"

"Bassssball!"

"Good job, little dude!" Heat said, coming up beside them. He turned to Willis. "Hey, man, I don't want to rush you, but the game's tied and the sun's going down."

"Right." Hawk moved to the side a bit to kiss his wife, conscious of their baby son between them, and wasn't the least bit surprised when she kissed him back, briefly putting her hand on his cheek.

"Ew!" Liam cried.

"Gross!" his twin sister said.

"You guys must have a lot of cooties," Gabriel added with a disgusted look on his face.

Cooper and Willis broke apart and continued to grin at each other.

"Okay, lovebirds! Back to the game!" Heat shouted, and tossed the ball playfully at Hawk's chest as he turned around. "Thirty-to-thirty, man. Let's see who can get it done."

Willis tried to get his head back in the game, but was aware of his family watching him now. He tried to dribble past Heat on his last attempt at a basket, faked to the left and stopped, went for the jump shot, but the ball circled the rim before falling out. That gave an open opportunity to Heat, and he grabbed the ball on the rebound and somehow got past the major in a blur to score.

"Yes!" he cried. "I am the _man!_ "

"Not so fast," Cooper said from the sidelines, a small smirk on her face. "No one's challenged _me_ yet."

Brandon smirked, too, pointing at her. "That's 'cause you have a _baby_ on your chest."

"Watch him for a sec. I bet I can take you."

Willis's best friend spread his arms out. "Hey, you're welcome to try. Just know I won't go easy on you just because you outrank me."

"Duly noted."

Hawk went to grab their infant son from his wife then, and she pulled off her cover and jacket to the cheers of the kids. Now dressed only in her T-shirt, battledress pants, and boots, with her dogtags hanging off her neck, Cooper gestured for the ball. Heat tossed it at her.

"I take you, I win. Loser plays Will," Heat said.

"Okay, you got yourself a deal."

Willis just stood on the sidelines and watched the action unfold, as into the game as all four of their kids - even Logan seemed invested in his mother's on-court performance. Though not naturally gifted at the sport, she was surprisingly aggressive, which seemed fitting to Hawk. It was her MO in the field - why should she be any different here?

"Get him, Mom! Score!" Gabriel shouted, and Cooper landed a jump shot a few seconds later.

The kids went wild. "Yes!"

Things seemed to be going fine until Heat came back a minute later with a shocking three-pointer. Even he seemed surprised with himself. Unfortunately for Natalie, that sealed the game.

"Sorry, Nat," Heat said to her with a smirk. "Guess you're just going to have to play your hubby for the number-two spot."

"I guess so," she answered, looking right at Willis with a corner of her lips upturned.

In that moment, Hawk realized she'd lost on purpose to play him.

"Watch the little guy?" he asked his buddy, and Heat nodded and took Logan carefully in his arms.

"Hey, little dude. Your parents are going to play each other now. Who do you want to win?"

"Dada," Logan said, still smiling brightly.

Brandon laughed. "Hear that, Cooper! Your kid's a little traitor!"

"That's just his favorite word these days. He'd pick his dad over anything." Cooper got into place and stared Willis down. "Besides, I know I can take him."

"That's what you said about me!"

"Nah. This time I mean it. I have other ways of...distracting him."

Willis had possession of the ball, but hesitated a moment before starting. His wife was looking right at him, love and hunger and excitement all plain on her face all at once. She was into this. She wanted bragging rights and she wanted to win.

She also wanted him.

That last threw him off his game. The worst part was that she knew it.

"Come on, Hawk," she said, her voice dropping a bit. "What're you waiting for? Let's go."

The major swallowed and started to dribble forward, but she quickly laid into him, stopping him from advancing. Even a fake to the left, then right, and then a spin didn't get him much further down the court.

"Come on, Dad!" Gabe yelled out.

"Go Mommy!" Olivia countered.

"Play!" Liam called.

Willis had stopped with the ball in his hands, waiting for Cooper to try to take it, but she didn't. Instead she just crouched in front of him, preventing him from moving. He couldn't help but smirk.

"What's it going to be, _Major?_ " she asked. "Are you going to get past me? Or try for the far shot?"

"Don't know yet. I guess you'll just have to see."

Surprising her, he suddenly leaned forward and kissed her, full on the lips, before ducking back to the side and breaking away towards the net. By the time Cooper had recovered and reacted, Hawk had scored the basket, much to Gabe and Logan's delight.

Natalie put her hands on her hips after the score, mock-glaring at him as he looked back and grinned.

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"Just a little something called _fighting fire with fire_ , honey."

Willis pulled his wife into his arms then, the game entirely forgotten. Cooper initiated a sweaty kiss and the kids groaned behind them.

"Wait...that's it? So who won?" Heat asked as they walked back to the sidelines together.

Hawk smiled, a tired arm happily around his wife of thirteen years. She smiled back.

"I think we both did," he replied.

* * *

 **Present Day, Puget.**

Willis wasn't quite sure why that particular memory cropped up for him as he sat back on the chair in his quarters, but it did. Things had changed so much since that day that it hurt, and it hadn't even been that long ago. It was only about a month before Natalie had left for Puget, five months ago now. She hadn't even known she was deploying then. They'd finally been back on Mars with their family, she'd just been promoted, and they'd been happy.

Now...he could feel the pain tight in his chest. Especially after how breakfast had gone earlier.

Despite his best efforts this morning - and a wonderful night together - things were still rocky between him and Cooper. They just couldn't seem to get on the same page for longer than a few minutes at a time, and even that had taken a great deal of effort to achieve in and of itself. He supposed it was to be expected; neither fully trusted the other yet, for varying reasons, and that would take time to fix.

To be honest, before last night, he wasn't even sure he'd _wanted_ to fix it.

Now he did, but Cooper seemed to be holding them back. He still had his own reservations, too - it was plain to see she was not the same person who'd left Mars. She was angry, distrustful, more volatile, and it seemed she'd gotten over her past hang-up with fighting humans. She was often distant - again, before last night.

That's what had brought them closer as of late, however short the reprieve from their arguing had been. It gave him hope.

But it wouldn't be enough if they decided they couldn't get over their issues with one another. And of that, there were many.

The major sighed and ran a hand over his face. Natalie had been right yesterday. She'd gone through something he couldn't understand, and had grown even closer to Ethan in the process. Had even kissed him.

Maybe he'd gotten what she'd been through better. Willis didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted his wife back...and he was only now beginning to understand that if that were the case, it wouldn't ever really be _her_ , but this newer, hardened version instead.

He still wasn't quite sure what to do with that. The Natalie he'd known - that they'd all known - was never coming back.


	43. Chapter 42: Patience

**Chapter Forty-Two: Patience**

 **1143 Hours, January 15, 2561. Near Glacier City, Planet Puget. "The Prime Target," Outer Colonies. Day Eighty-Eight of the Dark Side of the World**

"So I heard you and Willis are back together," Ethan commented as I walked up beside him.

"And I see the regimental rumor mill is in working order, even out here." I frowned, crossing my arms across my chest in the cold. "No, not quite. We're trying to work things out. I'm not sure if we will, but maybe we can get there with time." I turned to face him now. "I'm sorry you found out like this."

My ex shrugged. "I always figured you guys would. You love him."

"Ethan - "

"Don't. It's fine."

It wasn't, but there was nothing I could do to change that for him.

A heavy moment passed, and then the head spook's whole demeanor suddenly changed. "So? Shall we get down to business?"

"Shoot. You said you had something to show me?"

"Yes, ma'am. This way."

He motioned for me to follow him and I did. He walked up to two members of his ONI team and gestured for their equipment.

"Here, sir," the first operative answered. Ethan took the long-barreled rifle in his hands, and indicated I should get the spotter's rangefinder.

I gave my ex a look. "I have field binoculars, if you were wondering."

"Trust me, you'll want this."

I decided to go with it and moved a ways ahead in the snow with him. Ethan positioned himself in a crouch, his white arctic fatigues - similar to mine - blending in perfectly with the surroundings. Even his operative's sniper rifle was patterned in white and light gray.

"I'll give you the coordinates," Ethan said as he settled in behind the gun. "You ready?"

I chuckled lightly as I looked through the sight. "That's not how this works, you know. I'm supposed to read that for you."

"Yes, but I already know them."

"What are you looking at?"

"An old friend's place."

He rattled off the coordinates to me and I calibrated the scope accordingly, crouching just a couple feet from where he was. I had a feeling where this was going - but when I looked through the sight, all I saw was the building Ethan had already sent me a photo of before: Javier Laraza's club in the heart of the city.

"Okay...I'm going to need some new data here soon, Ackerson, or you've just put me in tight spot in the exact city I shouldn't be seen in."

"Just watch, Cooper. It gets better, I promise."

I had to admit, the establishment looked impressive, even from afar. Certainly miles away from anything the rebel general had ever managed or owned on Khan. Outside the place, a vertical sign in blinding chrome announced the club's name - Maelstrom - complete with a multicolored cyclone logo. There was a rooftop pool with a lounge, closed for now, and what I could only guess were multiple stories of dance floors with bars inside. A full eight.

I whistled low inside my helmet. "Damn. Would love to get lost in there for a couple days."

"You'd need a disguise, of course...but could potentially pull it off."

"Nah. Probably not. Laraza'd have orders to shoot me on sight. And you can take the Marine out of the uniform..."

"But not the uniform out of the Marine," Ethan finished. "I may be a swabbie, but I know the drill."

"Hold on a sec," I said then. "The pool up top, and the open-air lounge...how's he do that?"

"Glacier's a big city. There's a climate-altering dome over it. The rebs could actually afford one here, unlike on other parts of the planet."

"Not climate- _controlled_ , though."

My ex shook his head. "No. Just enough to keep things comfortable, but they can't, unfortunately, turn any part of Puget into a tropical paradise."

"Ah. A girl can dream."

It was as we were spoke that I noticed a flicker of movement up on one of the top floors. The second to last, just before the rooftop, had a wider, more spacious balcony than those below. The railing was made entirely of glass - or something transparent like it. It was great for a venue. Not so much for a crime lord trying to keep his whereabouts unknown.

"I'll be damned," I said under my breath. "It's Laraza."

I watched him through the scope. He was dressed to the nines in a sharp suit and tie, enjoying a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other, just looking out at the city. Completely at ease.

Just beneath the surface, my blood boiled.

I realized I could shoot him here and now if I wanted to, and he'd never be any wiser.

"Ethan?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"The gun."

He hesitated. "Natalie, I don't think that's - "

" _Now,_ Commander. It's not a request."

My ex had no choice but to relinquish the weapon. I took the sniper rifle in my hands, exchanged places and equipment with him, and crouched just as he had, in the same spot. After a couple of moments of fidgeting and adjusting, I found Laraza again, still standing on his balcony, only now with just his drink in hand and resting his elbows on the clear railing, leaning forward calmly as he overlooked the traffic downtown.

Slowly and gently, I slid my finger inside the trigger guard. It'd be a picturesque place to die.

"Natalie," Ethan said again beside me, speaking even and low. "You know you can't hit him this far out."

"I know."

"And any shot you take out in the open like this...someone is likely to hear with no cover. You'll give our position away, and we'll lose our edge."

"I know."

"You don't want anyone knowing _you're_ here, either."

I grunted in frustration and quickly removed my finger from inside the guard, then blew out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding. I suddenly felt light-headed, like I'd just come back down to earth after concentrating so hard.

"Shit. I _had_ him. He was _there_."

"I know," Ethan replied. He moved a little closer and squeezed my shoulder. "We'll get him, Cooper. Don't worry about that. That son of a bitch _will_ pay. But all in good time."

* * *

My ex must have realized I needed a moment to collect myself after seeing Laraza again, even from miles out, because he left me sitting there as he went to return the gear to his operatives. I just sank back in the snow, ignoring the cold, staring out at the area I knew the building was in, though I was no longer able to see it.

I had to keep telling myself that at least we knew for sure where he was now. And that meant we could strike.

"So give me the rundown, if you would, ma'am," Ethan said when he returned. "What's the situation as of now?"

"Right now?" I asked, and sighed as I stood, folding my arms across my chest again. "Your team's here, focused on Laraza. Brewer and her batt are out with Lieutenant Lloyd and his group, checking out a potential Promethean site the rebs haven't tapped yet. I've got Major Mullen with the 904th back at the CP, holding down the fort. Norfolk and the engineers are in reserve. Both units are ready to deploy where we need them."

"So they're available to come here? What about armor, air support?"

"I'm thinking that's a no-go for the city. If we're taking Laraza, I'd like it to be a small tactical strike. Quiet, and possibly lethal."

"All right."

"I will, however, allow a battalion to move in as a rear guard nearby in case things get hairy. But that would have to be weighed against the risks. Anyone notices a large movement of troops, Laraza might bug out before we have a chance to tag him."

"Right."

I turned to go then, but somehow it didn't feel right. Instead I turned back and said, "And Ethan, about everything else..."

My ex held up a hand to stop me. "My problem, Natalie. You made your stance clear. I'll figure it out."

I nodded. There was nothing else left to say or do here. So I walked back to the Pelican I'd flown in with, my security detail dutifully in tow.

* * *

"Took you long enough," Willis said once we arrived by the back hatch of his bird. "What did he want?"

He asked that last with quite a bit of bite, and I suppose I didn't blame him.

"Laraza," I answered, noting my detail had taken up loose positions around us as we spoke, but remained respectfully out of earshot. "They found him. He's here."

Behind his currently translucent visor, my husband's eyebrows shot up. "He actually came back? Showed himself?"

"Sure did. It's more luck than I was expecting, to be honest. But I'm glad to finally have some coming our way."

"What's the plan, then?"

"I'll let you know once we're back in Cordonnes," I replied. "I don't want to stick around here any longer than we already have. I've got enough of a bullseye on my back to make things _very_ unpleasant if even one person spots me here."

"All right."

He took my hand briefly and squeezed before returning to the cockpit. It sent emotions flooding through me again, but now wasn't the time or place to analyze those. I quickly ordered my detail to load up into the troop bay, then did so myself. It'd be a short ride back to our main camp in Cordonnes, despite the distance on land.

* * *

The command tent felt kind of empty without my XO there. After spending so much time here in my absence, first because I'd been captured and later because I was out on missions, she'd understandably been itching to get out herself. Instead, Major Mullen was in here now, and the blond-haired battalion commander gave me a nod as I approached.

"Ma'am."

"Major."

"There's a message for you from Lieutenant Lloyd, Colonel. Said he had a sitrep for you."

"Very well. Let's hear it."

"Lieutenant Commander Ackerson sent along a data packet as well. Said he intercepted some interesting communications for you to read."

"Go ahead with Lloyd's message first, Mullen."

"Yes, ma'am."

My husband stood beside me and frowned as Cal's voice came on through the main console.

"Colonel Cooper, this is Lieutenant Lloyd. Just wanted to update you on what we found here. Major Brewer will fill you in on the logistics with her battalion, but...from an intel perspective, there's a whole hell of a lot to go through here, so bear with me."

There was a pause in the recording, then he continued, "Well, the Prometheans being here is just what we thought, ma'am. There's an active portal near our location, and that's where they seem to be coming from. Who knew, right? The downside is that we don't have a science team here with us this time, so we have no idea where it goes or where it connects. It could even lead back to Requiem...we just don't know. And I think enlisting the help of any local authority won't get us anywhere, either, for obvious reasons."

I snorted. _Ain't that the truth._

"So...other than fighting these things, I'm not sure how to proceed. I realize you may want the portal gone for convenience and safety, but then we'll never know where it linked, or how and why the Prometheans chose to appear here, now. So, when you get this message, please - let me know what you decide."

I raised an eyebrow at both my husband and Major Mullen. Both remained silent as the recording stopped, contemplating.

"Will? How many squadrons can you spare to send over to Cal and Brewer in case they need help?"

"Two or three, probably. They'd be ready when you need them."

"Okay. Get them on standby. Mullen? How quickly would you be able to accompany me to Glacier City and provide back-up for an ONI op?"

"Less than an hour, Colonel," he answered without hesitation.

"Then it's settled," I said. "We go after Laraza _today._ "

Willis's frown deepened. "What about the bots and the portal, ma'am?"

I sighed, hands on my hips as I focused on the map that appeared above the holotable. "I tend to agree with Lloyd here. I'd hate to be too rash and lose the significance of the where and why - but at the same time, I don't want to put lives at risk for data."

"It sounds like it could be important, though, ma'am," Mullen added.

"That it does, Major." I glanced over at him then. "But I need to settle this with Laraza first. Get me Lieutenant Lloyd on the line."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Tell him they're to maintain position for now. Observe and report and try to stay out of the fighting as much as they can. I'll revisit this once we're back from the city. It shouldn't take long."

"Understood," Mullen said, and quickly went to work issuing my orders.

At that I took my leave from the CP, although I wasn't surprised when my husband followed me out.

"Natalie? Are you sure you're making the right choice here?"

He was too professional to question me in public, but I'd absolutely expected this from him in private. That didn't mean I had an answer for him, though.

"Honestly? No. But now that I've got the chance, I'm not letting Laraza get away again." I stopped walking to face him and released a sigh. "He disappeared for months after taking us captive, Willis. This time, it could be permanent. I just...I can't risk that."

And as much anger as I harbored for the rebel leader, it wasn't just for me that I wanted this finished. It was for Caleb, too, and everyone else we'd managed to rescue. For my former XO and friend Shawn Harris, and the prisoners we weren't able to save. They - all of us - deserved closure for what he'd done.

Not to mention the fact that it would be a huge blow to rebel operations across the planet. Maybe even the system.

Javier Laraza had to go down. And I had to see to it.


	44. Chapter 43: Devil's Lair 1

**Chapter Forty-Three: Devil's Lair, Part One**

Going through the correspondence Ethan and his team had been able to gather from the rebel leader was enlightening, but didn't really give much in terms of intel for the op. Despite appearances to the contrary, Laraza had indeed noticed that we'd completely demolished his weapons depot almost a week ago now, and he'd described it as a "worrying and extremely vexing" blow to his movement here on Puget. He was sharp though and had already guessed that the action had the ulterior motive of getting him to counterattack, and thus show himself - the reason why we still hadn't gotten any blowback for it.

I had to smirk to myself as I sat in the troop bay, even a little. The man was nothing if not clever. Always had been.

That's why tonight, we'd have to be especially on point if we were to pull this off.

As the Pelican touched down near Glacier City several hours after our last trip, I breathed a small sigh of relief. Keeping myself occupied with the report while on board had been good, to keep my mind off the fact that we were in flight - but being back on solid ground was much better.

"All right, Marines," I said as I stood, bringing my battle rifle tight against my chest with the barrel pointed down. "We're headed back to the observation post. Let's try not to create any waves before we're ready to go live."

Acknowledgement lights winked green in my HUD, and I followed Gunnery Sergeant York out the hatch. The rest of my security detail trailed behind, but quickly formed up loosely around me once outside.

"Should be everything," Willis said as he emerged from the cockpit.

"Rest of the pilots on schedule?"

"Yes, ma'am. They'll be here to land the 904th as soon as you give the signal."

"Good."

To avoid showing our hand too early, I'd arranged for our backup with Major Mullen's battalion to be brought over only after Ethan's team and I had departed for the city. It'd be a lot of Pelicans coming in, but I hoped being this far out and getting a head start wouldn't compromise things for us.

My husband had been leaning against the back hatch of the troop bay, but he came down the ramp now to see me off. He reached out and gave my hand a squeeze, something that had become our way of saying goodbye lately - not only because we were in front of my detail, but also because things between us were still too uncertain for anything else.

"Stay safe, Cooper."

At that I suddenly tensed and pulled away.

"What?" he questioned.

" _Now_ you care?"

Willis stared back at me, puzzled, and I huffed a sigh.

Aware of my team around us, I lowered my voice and said, "At the depot, you never asked...you didn't exactly seem too concerned for my welfare back there."

"Things were different."

"Because we hadn't spent the night together yet?"

My husband released a frustrated sigh of his own. "No. Because we weren't even really speaking at that point, and I didn't know how you felt. Afterward...I did. I do now."

I shook my head at him. "But it's still _me,_ Willis. Even when we weren't talking."

I didn't tell him how hurtful that had been. I didn't have the time or ability right now to get that involved.

But I did let him see my face behind my visor before I finally stepped off.

* * *

"Okay, everyone. Gear up, Colonel's here. We move in ten."

My team and I arrived at the OP just as Ethan was barking orders to his group. I watched the operatives collect their things for a moment, then turned to face him.

"Everybody ready, Commander?"

"Just about, ma'am." He held something out to me in the dark, and I finally had to switch to nightvision to see. "Here, take it. These cloaking devices will get us into the club undetected."

"Breaking out all the cool toys, huh?"

"Being a spook has its perks."

I frowned at the object in my hand, uncertain. "Will it work with this many people?"

"No reason it shouldn't, so long as we don't overstay our welcome."

I nodded. I'd always known ONI had these things at their disposal, but I'd never had the opportunity to use one myself. It was going to be yet another trial by fire.

"Commander Ackerson, go ahead and have your team take point," I said to him. "We'll follow."

"Yes, ma'am."

As Ethan set off, I opened up a COM channel to my husband.

"Willis, have your pilots bring in Mullen's batt now. We're leaving."

"Acknowledged, Colonel."

That was all he said before the connection clicked off.

I took in a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed for a moment at the number of plates I was spinning: Captain Norfolk in Cordonnes keeping our camp manned, Mullen's battalion in reserve near the city, Lloyd and Brewer at the portal site with the Prometheans, and us, here, now, hunting Laraza.

It was up to me to make sure they all landed okay - and that none were left to fall and shatter.

"Let's get this done," I said simply, and with that, we set off for the bright lights downtown.

* * *

The comfortable temperatures inside the dome were a welcome relief from the harsh and unrelenting cold of the rest of the planet. It was the first thing I noticed when we walked through, and I found it was easier to keep on task when you weren't busy freezing your ass off.

"I could get used to this," I said over my private channel with Ethan, and I could hear the smirk in his voice when he responded.

"I think we all could, Nat. Don't get too comfortable."

"Hey. That's my line."

"Well, as of now, this is my op. Tonight, you take the backseat."

"Insofar as being here qualifies as 'backseat'."

He chuckled. "Now that I _know_ isn't in your vocabulary."

All talk ceased shortly after that, as maneuvering quickly and quietly - and without getting seen - through a bustling city full of civvies going about their night made for some difficulty moments, even with our high-tech electronics.

"We'll want to conserve battery life and use these only in the club, if we can," Ethan had said as we'd stepped off. "So until we get to Maelstrom, we'll be on our own."

Initially we were on foot, but with the distance still to go and such a tight timeline, that obviously wasn't going to work. My ex suggested early on that we commandeer two vehicles as soon as we could, and we did - two large SUVs that fit both our respective teams in each. They were plentiful in the city, so wouldn't cause any second glances our way. And it sped things up significantly.

As I sat anxiously in the passenger seat of the second vehicle, rifle hidden out of sight between my legs and the seat, I pulled my uniform jacket off, as did our driver, Gunnery Sergeant York. If we did get any second looks, there'd be no obvious government designations to see. My Marines in the back were surrounded by tinted windows, and thus didn't need the extra protection. A few still opted to do the same.

I kept the body armor on over my T-shirt, though. That, I'd never go without.

"Ackerson? Just checking in. How far out are we?"

"Getting close now, Colonel. We're about a klick and a half away."

We were in touch through the buds in our ears, since full-face helmets were also dead giveaways - and something else everyone who could be seen in the vehicles had opted to go without.

"Acknowledged," I replied, and then resumed staring out at the city. It looked nice - not like the rest of Puget. Here the night air was mildly warm, people were out and about, and life looked a lot different than in our corner of the world, just three hundred kilometers away.

They were scenes of a life I hoped to live myself someday. Peaceful and calm.

 _I had that, for four years after the War,_ I thought. _And again for two years after the Prometheans were pushed back on Earth._ I'd gotten to be home for almost a year and a half with my new baby while attending War College, and several months before that while I'd been pregnant. I'd been able to enjoy some sort of normal, daily life with my family. I missed that now.

"Logan," I murmured to myself then. "Liam. Liv. Gabe. I miss you guys, and I love you."

"What?" came the immediate response from Ethan, and that instantly brought me back to the present.

"Nothing. Keep moving, Commander."

I missed all four of my kids terribly, but realized I couldn't let myself get too distracted on the ride over. This wasn't a sightseeing tour - we were on a mission.

 _To take down the very person who nearly prevented me from getting home to them,_ I thought. _Twice now._

It wouldn't happen again.

* * *

Our two-car convoy stopped a few blocks short of the venue; we weren't _quite_ crazy enough to roll right up to the door. Gunny York got out of ours first, checking the surroundings before giving the rest of us the all clear. I got out next, followed by the rest of my Marines in the back. Once Ethan had disembarked from his own vehicle, I went to meet up with him.

"Anything else before we go in?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Yes. My guys will already know this, but we should let your detail know, too." He raised his voice just a little as he opened up our channel to the others. "The active camo's on a timer, so we're going to have to make our way through each level quickly. Our intel suggests Laraza's main suite and office are on the penultimate floor, just before the rooftop lounge - so that's where we're headed. We'll pause in the stairwells between each level to get the cloaking devices recharged before we move on."

"There's a lot of people here tonight," I added. "Most obviously, we need to move fast but also carefully. We cannot afford to run into anyone. And I mean that literally. Watch your steps."

"And remember that the camo does not make you invisible," my ex said. "If someone looks hard enough, you _will_ appear as a shimmer. That's why we don't follow each other too closely to create a large distortion in space while we move. Keep a few feet of distance from the next Marine at all times."

"Is all of that clear?" I asked.

"Yes, ma'am," came the replies.

I turned back to Ethan.

"Ready to roll?"

He shook his head. "One last thing, ma'am. Ditch the battle rifle. Use your sidearm only. It's silenced?"

"Yup."

"All right, everyone," he said, louder this time. "Follow me."

* * *

I left my rifle in the SUV we'd come in, feeling lighter but also far less protected than I wanted to be. Few of us wore helmets; even less had replaced their jackets after taking them off on the ride over. Ethan's group of operatives in particular were running very light - but in some ways, the lack of bulk was good. It made us move faster and quieter, both of which were a plus on a mission like this.

I did, however, miss the sound dampener on my helmet. As soon as we slipped past the bouncer at street level and entered Maelstrom, my ears were on overload.

The music inside was thumping so loud I thought my heart would burst in my chest.

Or maybe that was just anticipation.

Strict radio silence meant everyone was somewhat on their own from here on out. For my part, I just followed the shape in front of me, which happened to be York - I only knew where he was because I knew exactly where to find him, and what I was looking for. He moved through the crowd by the doorway with ease, sticking near - but not too close - to the last of Ethan's operatives.

We managed to weave our way through the raucous laughter and drunken attempts at dancing, actually finding that not accidentally touching someone in all this was nearly impossible - but given the amount of bodies in the room, most people were entirely unfazed. Without my helmet's filters, the air smelled heavily of alcohol, various perfumes, cigarette smoke, and sweat.

None of that was very attractive when you were sober, but the crowd didn't seem to mind.

Finally I spotted the stairs, becoming aware that the camo for this level was about to wear off. The last of my detail entered the empty emergency stairwell - separate from the elaborate set of stairs on the main floor leading to the next level - just in time, as they stuttered into existence in front of me the moment the door closed behind them.

"So?" Ethan asked, addressing us all. "How are we doing so far? Good?"

"Yes, sir," his operatives, as well as my Marines, answered.

Ethan nodded. "Excellent. Only six more levels to go, ladies and gents. Step lightly. We move in three."

I don't know how we managed, but somehow, once near the floor that held Laraza's office, we stopped in the stairwell and I checked my watch. We'd already been inside for over twenty minutes. I found that I was sweating, but not so much from the exertion - it was more nervous fear, that one small mistake would send all of this belly up and end with all of us being dead.

I understood a little now of what spooks felt on the regular.

"Nat," Ethan said, suddenly beside me. "Doing okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just ready to get this over with."

"One last floor, Cooper. We'll nab the guy and extract."

"Right. I just hope he - "

My ex quickly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me behind him. "Camo on, everyone!" I heard him whisper through my bud, and then he shimmered out of existence. I rapidly did the same.

Someone on the floor below had just entered the stairwell. Bad news for us.

Heart pounding in my chest, I moved a little to see what was happening. A young male patron had stumbled in, and leaned over the railing now to retch. A young woman, possibly his girlfriend, followed him in to help.

"Oh, Peter, yuck!" she cried, then her voice softened when the boy reeled. "Are you okay?"

"I'm...ugh. Lucy, I...I think I need to go..."

"Come on, P. Let's head downstairs."

"Okay."

As soon as the young teen couple turned to go down, Ethan reappeared and signaled for us to exit on our floor.

 _Almost caught,_ I thought to myself. As a mother, though, I hoped someone gave those kids a stern talking to when they got home. They couldn't have been more than sixteen.

Feeling the cold steel of my silenced pistol in my hands reminded me of the task at hand. I gripped it a little tighter in both hands, expecting a fight once we reached Laraza. When we entered the room, however, I was surprised to see it was mostly empty, save for a handful of people by the extensive bar in the corner. Nearly everyone was making use of the large balcony outside.

The music was still loud, though, and the multicolored floor lights dim. We'd be perfectly masked here, even without the cloaking devices.

"Which way?" I said low to Ethan, and I watched his still-translucent arm shimmer to the right.

"Expect security outside the doors," he cautioned me. "Four. Inside, too. We weren't able to gather how many in there, but I know he wouldn't leave himself unprotected."

I nodded.

"Also, we know from those messages that his office walls are soundproof. So that'll be some extra cover for us if things get hot."

We maneuvered around a couple of very enthusiastic dancers, oblivious to the fact that most of the party seemed to be outside, and then I brought my gun up. I only saw two guards on either side of what looked like a metal door.

"Take 'em down," I said over my bud.

I fired the first shot and took the bulky guy on the right. Ethan got the left. I quickly glanced back to see if anyone noticed, but seeing as we were no longer in direct line of sight of the bar, we were clear.

"Grab the bodies and get them inside as soon as I open this door," Ethan said. He pulled out his trusty putty pen and got to work. "Watch our six in the meantime. Should be two more guards floating around."

The moment he said that I spotted one of them - she was outside, a blonde with her hair up in a ponytail. She seemed to be keeping tabs on both the gyrating crowd on the balcony as well as the surrounding rooftops. So they expected someone might come after the rebel leader here. Or maybe he'd ordered the coverage.

Good thing we hadn't entered the club from above.

"There's one," I said lightly over the COM. "Where's the other?"

Beside me, Gunny York bumped my shoulder. I turned to the other side of the balcony and saw him - this guy was a redhead, and I immediately pictured Dean in a suit in his place. _Would love to have you with us, buddy._

Neither guard seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary, or even look our way. So we let them be for now.

"Ethan?" I asked. "What's your ETA?"

"And...done!"

He was in. We stacked up by the door, a mix of operatives and Marines, ready to go.

I was second on the door, Ethan in the same position on the other side. One of my men and one of his were on either side of the frame, and they entered first.

The room in here was dimly lit, too. There was no gunfire and no movement. For all I knew it was clear, so my ex and I moved in next, guns up.

That did little to stop the bullet that hit me straight in the chest.

 _"Natalie!"_


	45. Chapter 44: Devil's Lair 2

**Chapter Forty-Four: Devil's Lair, Part Two**

For a moment the wind was knocked out of me and I felt like I'd been struck by a freight train. I couldn't breathe, and as soon as I fell, the pain took over.

I hit my head hard on the ground without a helmet and grunted, but I didn't black out. I just laid there on the floor, gasping as muted chaos erupted around me, until I was finally able to take in a much-needed breath. I coughed to clear my lungs and the pain got worse.

When I opened my eyes again, Ethan was crouched beside me.

"Colonel?" he said, and it was the first time I was hearing him. "Colonel? Cooper!"

"I'm here," I managed to croak, but barely. My chest felt like a great weight had fallen on it. It ached to take in oxygen, even though I'd been sputtering for it just seconds earlier. "What's - "

"You were shot, but looks like your body armor stopped it. Are you okay?"

At that I grinned groggily. "Kind of. 'Least it's...not a grenade this time."

One more muffled shot came from one of the operatives around us, and then Ethan helped me sit up.

"Not to rush you, Nat, but there's also some bad news," he stated then. "Laraza's not here."

That was confusing, to say the least. "What...what do you mean?"

"He could be elsewhere in the club. We had eyes on right before we left the OP. Maybe he just didn't return to his office suite."

"That sounds...complicated."

"It's going to be. And it'll be a lot riskier searching the floors for him. Someone might find the bodies in here before we're able to bug out." He paused then, giving me a look. "But it's your call, ma'am."

"No," I ground out. "We're so close, Ethan. I'm not...giving up."

"Okay."

He stood, gripping his silenced pistol in one hand as he issued orders to move. He was helping me stand to my full height when another round whizzed right past my ear.

"We've got another!" Gunny York called out through his bud, and quickly brought up his suppressed SMG and took out the final guard.

"Damn," my ex muttered. "That's six in here alone."

"The two on the...balcony?" I asked. I was able to keep myself upright on my own now, but I was still clutching my chest in one hand while I held onto my sidearm in the other.

"Both are still out there. That's why we've got to make this quick. I'm sure they'll check in soon."

I noticed just before we left that the bodies of the two guards we'd downed in the hallway were also stowed away in the soundproof office now. Ethan sealed the door shut behind us, buying us a little more time, but now - even more so than before - we were racing against a clock whose timer was unknown. I just knew it wouldn't be nearly long enough.

"Back to the stairs, everyone," Ethan ordered over the bud. "Let's make this quick."

* * *

We'd already gone through the sixth and fifth floors respectively, taking even less time to pause to recharge the camo devices between floors, hearts pounding as we waited to finally be found out by the guards on each level. We'd been lucky so far and hadn't, but I wondered briefly how we'd even get out with Laraza if we did find him. If he was in the middle of a crowd, there was no way around it - people would notice. And his guards wouldn't let us take him without a fight.

 _First things first, though,_ I reminded myself. _We_ need _to find him._

I couldn't even imagine him slipping away again. The idea just made me sick.

"Fourth floor," Ethan said as we stood in the stairwell. "Let's go."

I pressed on the active camouflage and followed Gunny York out the door. Ethan's team was ahead us, somewhere, and I watched for the telltale shimmers to make sure we stepped behind them. They made their way in an arc around the bar - which happened to be right in the center on this floor - and wound their way back to the stairwell from the other side. That's when we finally spotted him - a middle-aged gentleman in a clearly expensive silver suit, white shirt, and silver-blue tie with white diagonal stripes.

Javier Laraza was doing what he did best: schmoozing the crowd, drink in one hand as he shook hands with another important-looking patron. They laughed together, and it took everything I had to keep my pistol hand in check.

"Got him, one o'clock," Ethan said low in his bud. "Move in."

So we did. Unbeknownst to the crowd, two of my ex's operatives positioned themselves right behind the rebel leader, so fast that he and his associate were still guffawing when Laraza was suddenly hit in the back of his head.

All I saw of the operative's movement was a brief distortion in the air around the rebel general. Then he was falling to the floor, his drink shattered in front of him, and the whole crowd of people around us gasped and screamed.

"Get him out of here!" I whispered fiercely. " _Now!_ "

There was little point in completely hiding our presence now - the crowd knew something was going on. At the same time, though, we still didn't want to fully show ourselves. Ethan's operatives dragged a very confused but still conscious Laraza out of the room, while we all ran straight for the stairwell.

We'd known it wasn't going to be a perfect exit. So long as it worked.

Things were even trickier now as we burst onto the emergency stairs just as two of Laraza's guards appeared, trying to follow behind UNSC Marines and operatives they couldn't see, but knew were there. They even fired a couple of shots at us before the door closed...but thankfully, I didn't get hit this time. Neither did anyone else.

"They're on our tail," Ethan said then, shimmering into view along with the rest of us as he bolted down the stairs, practically flying to the next landing. "More guards'll chase after us at each level until we get to the bottom. Just keep heading down!"

Once again my pulse thumped in my ears as I rushed down the stairs, too, my detail sticking closer to me now than before. Pain ripped through my chest, where I'd been shot, but I ignored it with the knowledge that given our numbers, if we didn't work quickly here it was very likely we'd be killed by Laraza's guards. That spurred us all to fly down the stairs several at a time, even before we heard the sounds of doors opening up on the levels above us. Guards were rushing inside.

"Camo on," Ethan said low into his bud, and we did so, with our units now fully charged again. They knew we were in the stairwell, but no use giving them perfectly visible targets to shoot.

I glanced up front to see Laraza trying to speak, to get the guards' attention, but one of the operatives holding onto his arm shoved some cloth into his mouth while they continued to run. His partner taped the bastard's mouth shut, and that was that.

The fire alarm sounded.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath, and somehow forced my body to move even faster, even with the greater pain that caused. Fire alarms meant mass panic, the arrival of emergency services, and clogged up roadways. We needed to bolt before all of those became an insurmountable problem.

We were also dodging more bullets now, too. As I rounded the corner of the stairwell - we were finally on level two - one of the guards' rounds hit a pockmark right into the wall behind me. He'd missed, but I had a feeling it was only because we were still disguised...which wouldn't be true anymore in about fifteen seconds.

We finally hit level one, and that's when we heard the crowds on all floors finally rush into the stairwell themselves. It was pure chaos, but on the plus side, it meant the guards could no longer take blind shots at us.

And that was a good thing, because just as we reached the door to the ground floor, our camo units ran out of juice.

"Go! Move it!" I called out, and in the middle of the mass confusion and hysteria - and in some cases, flat-out shock of what was happening around them - we made it out the door in full view of the patrons in the lobby, too stunned to do much of anything except watch.

"We've got just enough power for one last cloak, everyone," Ethan said then. "Let's use it to get back to the vehicles, but only once the guards come out."

Shots were fired in the night, and that's how we knew our tail was approaching. Ethan expertly changed route then, telling us all to shimmer out of existence before we rounded a dark corner to the left. It was anyone's guess from there where we were, and we heard frustrated shouts - as well as sirens now - in the distance. Some guards even tried to follow us anyway, but ended up going down the wrong streets. And with Laraza gagged so he couldn't make a sound, and too weak from the hit to do much more than get dragged along by the operatives holding onto him, we got away with it for now.

Up ahead were our vehicles. We were home free.

Or so I thought. Just as we headed for the SUVs, I doubled over in pain, nearly collapsing in the street. One of my detail - I couldn't see who because of the active camo - caught me from behind.

"You okay, ma'am?" he said over his bud, and I recognized the voice as Núñez.

"Fine, I just - "

Ethan turned back, too, and started to head toward me. "Colonel?"

I held up a hand while I clutched my chest in the other. "I'm okay, Commander. I just need a minute."

He continued in my direction, however, and seeing a distraction like this, Laraza seized the moment to break free of Ethan's men, and ran.

Even in the state I was in, I reacted fast - before anyone else even noticed he was booking it down the street. I was _not_ losing this opportunity to make him pay for what he'd done.

But we were going to do this on my terms.

I fired a shot from my silenced pistol and he immediately went down in a heap on the concrete, blood pouring out from under him. Beside me, I heard my ex gasp, until the rebel leader let out a loud groan and shifted his weight to grab hold of his leg. The one I'd shot.

"Collect him and let's go," I said calmly into my bud then. "We need to be out of the city before we get more tails."

It took all my remaining strength and self-control to say so without giving myself away, however. Inside I was still burning with anger and hurt at what he'd done. But as much as a part of me may have wanted to, I wasn't about to gun him down in cold blood on the street, even if he did try to run away.

No. Laraza was going to pay by way of _true_ justice. As of now he was going into our custody - and after that, if all went well, before a UNSC tribunal. But first, we had to get out of the city.

* * *

We were back on the road by the time things were reaching a head at the nightclub - we could tell because besides the sounds of mass panic and sirens behind us, there were also helicopters circling overhead now. I let out a long sigh, not particularly enthused about the amount of circus we'd created in our exit, but glad nonetheless that we'd all managed to get out safely. This was not going to go over well for our operations in Cordonnes, however, as we'd now not only have angry local rebels to contend with, but also the populace at large as well.

And I was sure the brass would be none too happy with this development, either.

"Natalie?"

The voice was Ethan's. I glanced up then as I sat with my legs up to my still-throbbing chest, cramped in the back this time. I wasn't about to put myself in the spotlight anymore tonight.

"Don't," I replied quickly. "It's not your job to make me feel better."

"I was going to say congratulations. We got Laraza."

I snorted. "Yeah, but at what cost? You know how this shit goes, Ethan. This is only going to fuel their movement."

At that my ex frowned. "I'm confused. I thought this was what you wanted."

"It is. It just...it should have gone better - at the end there especially. And it worries me that we left in plain sight."

Ethan was the one to heave a sigh this time. "Last I checked, no one's dead but a couple of his goons, and he's alive and in our hands. Given the odds here, I'd call that a win."

"Calling this a _win_ is ignoring the fact that we've now created pandemonium in a very large city, which happens to be full of rebels who want to kill us."

"Yes, but they're without a leader now. And, we now have the opportunity to question him. That'll help our cause immensely."

I didn't have anything else to say to that. Instead I just leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes, relishing the feel of the lukewarm night and being light without all the heavy gear I'd soon have to don again. In some ways Ethan was right - we'd made it out alive, and with our target, and that was what we'd come here to accomplish. The fact that Laraza had _also_ come out alive was a bonus, and one we could greatly use.

It was the manner in which we'd left things that put a wrench in our plans. Between the rebels and the Promethean presence back in our neck of the woods, I had a feeling we'd have a hell of a time keeping things under control there after this.


	46. Chapter 45: War Inside

**Chapter Forty-Five: War Inside**

There was a soft knock on the door to my quarters shortly after we got back. I almost didn't answer it; much of what had happened today brought up wounds, new and old, that I wasn't sure I was completely ready to absorb yet. But I supposed it was never a good time to face your demons. And it was better if you didn't have to do it alone.

Ethan and his team had taken Laraza away the moment we'd landed, so at least for tonight, that wasn't something I had to deal with. Seeing the man who'd more or less ruined my life from afar was one thing, and had already been difficult for me to handle. Seeing him up close and shooting him was...something else entirely.

Willis had flown our craft back, as always, but I'd jumped out the troop bay before he'd left the cockpit. I'd needed some time to process all that had occurred tonight. It was a lot to take in.

"Come in," I said at the door. I heard it open then, but I kept my attention on my datapad as I sat at my desk. I was already working on my report to the brass, but I was finding it hard to come up with the right words at the moment. _Failure_ didn't seem like the correct word to use given the situation. Technically we'd done what we'd set out to do. Yet neither did _success_.

"You ran out on me again," Willis commented softly as he entered. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to write my report for the brass. Not very successfully, mind you." I finally sat back in my chair and shut my eyes tight, pinching the bridge of my nose. I still hadn't looked at him yet.

"What's holding you up?"

"Laraza."

"What he did to you?"

I nodded. It was all I could do in response.

Behind me, still standing by the now-closed door, I heard my husband swallow. "I heard you were shot during the op. Are you doing okay?"

"So far." I unconsciously pressed a hand to my chest, where the bullet had luckily hit my armor. "I've got a bad bruise under my shirt and it hurts, but it didn't pierce me. That's something."

Willis chuckled, but I could tell that beneath the surface, he was still shaken up a bit. "You don't set the bar very high when a bullet _hits_ you, and you think that's the least of your concerns."

"I've endured much worse."

I said the words in an even tone, not even realizing that Willis would understand my nonchalance even less than he did the other changes I'd undergone recently. I only made the connection when I finally glanced up and saw his expression. It was somewhere between hurt, concern, and confusion. I heard him take in a shaky breath.

"Natalie, I've got to tell you, I don't always understand you anymore. And that...scares me. I want to."

"Willis - "

He licked his lips and moved to sit on the bed, as I had in his own room a week ago now. He sat there for a long time before he said, "I don't know what you want, or how you imagine this - us - fixing things. And I don't need you to relive...I don't want to make you go through your captivity all over again. But in order for us to move forward, I need to know what happened."

At that I frowned. "My brother said you - "

"I read the report, yes. Mark gave me access to it. That doesn't tell me how you feel, though, or how you processed...everything."

I turned so I was facing him now, and met his gaze. "Okay. What do you want to know?"

He seemed surprised by my reply. To be honest I wasn't sure myself how this was going to go, or how I would handle it, but I wanted to try.

My marriage depended on it.

"Whatever you feel you're ready to tell me," Willis answered. "Just...start at the beginning."

"Okay," I said again, and this time I took a deep breath. "We got a call from Lieutenant Lloyd one night. He was out on patrol with his team. Said he'd found something and needed backup. I sent a team out for him. I went, too." I sighed. "It wasn't a good decision. I know that now. But I was eager to help, and get out of the command tent, so I left."

"And then?" my husband prompted gently.

"I think you know how it went down. We saw one of Cal's operatives dead, Cal was missing, so we investigated. That turned into an ambush I won't...I'll never forget." I had to pause to take in a steadying breath. "My whole security detail was killed in front of me, just like that. And then they pounced on me. I fought like hell not to get caught, Willis. I really did. I got a couple good knocks in, but there were too many, and I was caught off-guard. There was just no way I could've stopped it." I met his hazel eyes again. "Next thing I remember was waking up in a place I didn't recognize, bound and hurt and scared out of my mind about what they'd do to me...what they might have already done..."

Before me, Willis leaned forward, his jaw set tightly. "Did they touch you?"

"Not...in the way you're thinking. I'm sure I would've noticed, or felt it after the fact. But I didn't know where I was when I finally came to, or what they wanted with me, and Cal was gone." I shrugged, and felt silent tears roll down my cheeks without warning. I quickly wiped them away. "I thought maybe he was dead. I definitely believed I was on my own."

At that I stopped speaking for a few minutes and looked away. I couldn't face him now, not with all the pain and torment and memories resurfacing. After a while I felt my lower lip quivering, and I had to take in another deep breath to steady it.

"I panicked, too, you know," Willis said softly then. "As soon as I heard you'd been taken. I didn't know what was going on - could hardly believe it. I thought about you, and the kids, and how they'd take it, and then I thought to contact your brother. But even then it took some time and some sleuthing to figure out where you might be, where you'd been taken, and if you were even - " He swallowed audibly again. "Alive."

I snorted. "Well, I was. Not that Laraza and his assholes didn't try hard to make me wish I wasn't."

I told him then about all of it. It just came spilling out of me, and I surprised myself at first at how steady I was able to keep my voice as I recounted the horrors I'd faced while I'd been a prisoner. I told him about Garrett's taunts and his thinly veiled threats to harm me, I told him about Daria mocking my pain, I told him about seeing Cal be hit in front of me in the state he was in, worrying he was going to die, and about my failed escape attempt - then getting shot, and spending the night watching my men get torn apart by shotguns in seconds, over and over and over again until it was day again.

Next I told him about the physical torture I'd endured, too. Getting punched and kicking my chair over - with me in it - and being stuffed headfirst into a vat of water I couldn't escape from until they'd chosen to be done with me. I told him about Laraza's taunts and Garrett pouring alcohol down my throat, trying to get me to talk.

"And then, in the middle of all that...Ethan showed up. He's the one who killed Garrett on the spot, right there as that animal was getting me drunk. He saved me."

I risked glancing over at my husband to see his reaction. It was an odd mix of relief, that I was finally safe and close to freedom, and a simmering anger and jealousy - that Ethan had been the one to do that.

I watched him take in a deep breath of his own.

"I can't...even begin to imagine what all of this was like for you, Coop. I just...can't. And if I'd been in any position to help you, I want you to know that I would have given anything to do it. But I want to know something, too. Is that why you - " He swallowed again, and this time, I could see the pain clear on his face as well as in his voice. "Is that how the two of you grew so close? Because he saved you?"

"Among other things."

It was hard for me to see the hurt in his eyes as I spoke. I knew that I'd caused that. I understood then that I had done something irreparable to our marriage when I'd kissed Ethan. Just as Willis had played his part in growing the chasm between us.

My husband prompted me to go on.

This time, my breathing wasn't as steady. Again I had to pause a time before I could get the words out. "Ethan killed Garrett, but I killed Daria. On our way out. She was keeping us from leaving, blocking the exit, threatening to send more rebels after us to stop the rescue. I couldn't...I _needed_ to get out. I needed Cal out. So I shot her."

I broke into sobs then, crying tears I'd long thought had dried up by now. "I...I know I did the right thing," I said between gasps, "but I never wanted to do it that way. I had to."

Willis's arms were around me in an instant, comforting. "I know," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

It took another while for me to get ahold of myself enough to continue. Somehow, I did. My husband straightened, and I spoke.

"That was...very hard, for me to deal with. I didn't take it well. We were moved to a secure ONI facility to recuperate, and I just felt...so fucking out of my own body, you know? Sometimes even out of my mind, like I just wasn't myself anymore. And I wasn't. That was the most difficult part of all this to process, and I just...I didn't...I _couldn't_ do it alone."

"So in came Ethan," Willis said mildly.

"Yes." I let out a frustrated sigh. "And then I got the bright idea to rescue whoever else remained in Laraza's custody in that hellhole, and we did. We succeeded. We got most of the other prisoners out. But during that op, Harris was killed - trying to save them. And at that point, I just couldn't take...I fucking broke, Willis. I just couldn't do it anymore. It hurt too much - my captivity, the escape, recovering, getting back into action, my friend dying, our fight..." I paused to wipe the tears running down my cheeks. "It's not an excuse, as much as I want it to be. I own what I did, and it's my fault and it shouldn't have happened. I know that it hurt you, and I'm sorry for that. I am _so_ sorry that _I_ did this. But to be honest, at that point, I was struggling just to get by. I didn't..."

I wasn't even sure how to end that. I'd been at the end of my rope after my former XO's death. It had been too great a burden to bear, and I couldn't do it any longer - my heart and my body and my mind and my _soul_ had all felt destroyed by that point. But I didn't know how to say this, and instead, Willis picked up the slack.

"So after our fight, you went to him for comfort," he said, and I could hear the pain behind each and every word. "You kissed him." Although he kept his words gentle, he looked me in the eyes then, serious. "You could have come to me, Natalie. You could have let me in, instead of running away to _him_. I _wanted_ to help you with this. I just didn't know how."

"I know that. And I wanted you to be that for me. But I was...scared."

Willis made a sound, like he was flabbergasted. "Of what?"

"Of what you'd see," I answered slowly. "Of you knowing how much I'd changed. I couldn't handle that at that point. I just...couldn't bear it." At that I released a sigh. "And then when we finally _did_ talk, things didn't go well, and I just felt...lost and broken all over again."

"You should have given me a chance." He ran a frustrated hand over his golden brown hair then. "I knew something was wrong when you weren't calling, or messaging me, or trying to communicate with me at all. I knew he was here with you, and I tried not to think the worst. But it was killing me, Natalie. You shut me out." His voice faltered for a moment. "I really thought I was losing you. To yourself, or maybe to him. You were just so distant all the time, and I thought you just...weren't interested in us anymore. Didn't care. About me or our family. And I love you, Cooper. That hurt me. Deeply."

I wasn't sure what came over me then, but his words lit a fire in me and I leaned forward, nearly shaking with indignation.

"I hurt, too! I _needed_ you after something so terrifying and horrific, I felt like I was drowning in it, and you were nowhere to be found!" I stopped for a second to compose myself, to regain control. "You have always been there for me, Willis, but for this, when I needed you most, you weren't. You just...you took the opportunity you had to drag me down even further, and I just couldn't... _survive_ that on my own."

My husband stood off the edge of the bed now, spreading his arms out wide in front of him and raising his voice, incredulous. "What was I supposed to do when you wouldn't let me in?"

"I needed you to be more compassionate and understanding instead of fixated on these... _exact specifications_ of how I was supposed to behave after what I'd gone through! And yes, I made a mistake kissing Ethan, and getting so close to him to begin with, but Jesus Christ, Willis, I'm a human being and I could _not_ take what had happened to me! I was _drowning_ in it! I _am_ drowning in it, still, every single time I no longer recognize myself in my actions or my words! You will _never_ know what that's like, or how it feels! And no, that doesn't excuse any form of infidelity, and I know you have high expectations of me - everyone does - but I needed more from _you_. I needed you to be there, to forgive some mistakes, to forgive my distance, to be the one person who knows I am not a fucking robot, and that I cannot take everything I am dealt all the damn time."

At that I finally paused to catch my breath, and I found that I was standing now, too.

We were two people, formerly in love and still in love now, in a different way since I'd changed, who just maybe wouldn't ever be able to see eye to eye on all this. But I had to get it out - no matter how painful, no matter how devastatingly honest and brutal I had to be. Because without this, we would never be able to move forward.

"But you were nowhere to be found, and now I don't trust you," I said, quieter now. " _You,_ Willis. The person I have trusted with my life and my heart for over fifteen years. You don't think that _killed_ me, too?" I shook my head at him. "Especially after you finally arrive on planet and instead of taking yet another opportunity to be there for me - unconditionally, despite being angry and upset - you make my hell even worse by shunning me at every turn, and not even allowing me to speak!"

Tears were falling fast again, and I swiped at them angrily this time. I was tired of this - of feeling so hurt and defeated. But I couldn't help it. Willis was the man I loved, and the one person who could make me feel this way. For better or worse.

"I don't know how we get back from that," I said then. "At least not right now." A sharp sob escaped me, and more tears flowed, but I clamped it down. I had to finish what I needed to say. "I went through things you'll never understand, even now that you know about all of it. I love you, Willis. I always will. But I think that maybe who I am now, after all that...maybe that's not the person you want to be with."

My husband shook his head now, too, and I could see the red in his eyes when he replied, "It's not true, Natalie. I still want to be with you."

"You don't know who I am anymore. Neither do I. I'm still learning, still trying to figure that out. And it's not fair to you to stay with a wife who's now a fucking stranger to you, and will never be the person you remember. The _real_ person you love."

A heavy pause followed. The entire room went silent for a moment before Willis said, "So that's it then, huh? After all these years...our family, our kids...we're done?"

"We're done."

They were the hardest words I'd ever spoken in my life, and I couldn't stop the tears pouring out of me after I'd said them if I tried. Willis just stood there in front of me for a minute, totally in shock, before he nodded as tears welled up in his eyes, too.

"All right, then. Make sure you...make sure you get that gunshot looked at. And take care of yourself. I'll..." He swallowed for the third time. "You know where to find me if you need me."

I nodded without any more words - it was all I could do.

As soon as Willis walked out of the room, I broke down completely, sliding down my closed door to the ground with my hands to my face, knees to my chest, my heart feeling like it was going to disintegrate from the terrible, raw pain.

So this was what divorce felt like.


	47. Chapter 46: My December

Author's Note: Chapter title comes from the Linkin Park song "MyDsmbr".

* * *

 **Chapter Forty-Six: My December**

 **0810 Hours, January 17, 2561. Near the City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget. "The Purpose," Outer Colonies. Day Ninety of the Dark Side of the World**

I hated waking up. Everything hurt every second of every day.

I thought about drinking again, but somehow couldn't bring myself to do it. I needed to leave at least one of my vices behind me, and I couldn't deal with yet another problem.

Work was always there for me though, and I immersed myself in it until I could get to a place where the pain wasn't at the forefront of my mind. This morning would be, mercifully, even more distracting: we were set to finally interrogate Laraza. I wish that were enough to make me feel like I wasn't getting my insides ripped apart and chewed up by a starving dog.

Before I left my quarters that morning, I finished buttoning up my uniform jacket over my T-shirt, and then caught a glimpse of my gold wedding band when I glanced down, still on my left hand. As I picked up my gloves in the other, I stood there for a long moment staring at it until I finally tossed the gloves back onto my desk and yanked it off.

It was too painful to wear now that it meant nothing.

I left the ring sitting on my desk. Afterward I stopped by the mess to pick up some coffee to keep me upright, then made my way to the command tent. Major Mullen greeted me by the main console; Brewer and Lloyd still weren't back yet.

"Good morning, Colonel."

"Good morning, Wayne." I set my coffee down nearby and folded my arms across my chest, studying the figures scrolling above the table. "Any word from our units at the Promethean site?"

"Yes, ma'am. New message came in earlier today."

"Let's hear it."

"Right away."

I put my hands on my hips as Mullen pressed something on the console and the audio started. This time, the voice that came through was my XO's, Major Brewer.

"A quick update for you, Colonel," she began. "We've gotten some extra firepower now from Major Hawk's squadrons; it's been helping a lot. But we're getting enmeshed in the fighting here more and more, and pulling out is no longer an option. We're going to need reinforcements soon to maintain our position, ma'am."

That was all the message said as the audio abruptly stopped. I brought a hand up to my face and shut my eyes for a second.

Incidentally, it was my left hand, which now felt achingly bare.

"Shit," was all I said in response.

In sharp contrast, Major Mullen stood calmly beside me, the picture of a poised officer. "What are you orders, ma'am?"

"Tell Captain Norfolk to gather up his battalion, and make sure they're ready to go at a moment's notice. Commander Ackerson and I are questioning our new prisoner this morning, but after that, we'll head for the portal to back up the 213th." I met his gaze then. "I'm keeping you and the 904th here in the meantime, Major. Especially after what went down in Glacier City, I'm not leaving our main camp undefended. I'll expect timely reports of the situation here."

He nodded. "Understood, Colonel. I'll relay the message to Major Brewer now."

* * *

I met up with Ethan next, just before we walked into the makeshift building that housed our prisoner. _Prisoners_ now, I reminded myself. Javier Laraza had gotten the room right beside the rebel girl's, and I hoped we didn't pick up any more, because it'd been the only room left that could be easily transformed into a holding cell.

It was a small kindness that I hadn't run into Willis around camp yet this morning. Seeing my ex triggered it all too, though, and I did my best to take in a deep breath as I faced him.

"Ready to do this?" he asked, and never in my life had I felt less prepared. I didn't say so, though.

"Yeah. Let's go in."

We passed the MPs standing outside the two cells. There were six of them now, to cover the increase in the number of rebs they had to watch. Laraza was also a high-value target, and thus warranted more. His VIP treatment was made all the more obvious by the fact that when Ethan and I walked into his room, I saw just how differently it was set up than our other prisoner's.

Unlike the girl, the rebel leader's cell was not so full of small niceties. There was little for the cold, no table, and no cot. Laraza was not only bound to a chair - albeit more humanely than I had been - but also surrounded by two MPs on either side of him. With him, we were taking absolutely no chances. He'd shown his true colors often enough that I wasn't going to allow any leniency in protocol here.

There was the fact that I hated him now, too, but I tried my best to keep that in check as I came to a halt in front of him. It was difficult, but I managed somehow.

I glanced up at the two guards first. "Leave us."

"Yes, ma'am."

Ethan and I waited for them to exit, and before either of us said anything else, I stepped over to the back corner of the room to grab the other chair in here and brought it in front of Laraza. I turned it so the back was facing him, then sat in it backwards, my booted feet spread out on either side of the chair legs.

"Hello, Laraza."

"Colonel Cooper. Here to gloat about your successful operation?"

"No," Ethan said, speaking for the first time then as he came up beside me. "We're here to...have a little chat."

The rebel leader scoffed. "I know what that means. Shall I spare your guards and beat myself up?"

At that I felt the simmering anger bubbling up. I only just kept it contained, but a little creeped out in my voice. "We don't run a torture block here, Laraza. That was you."

He chuckled darkly. "Then how are you expecting me to talk? By offering...puppies and rainbows?"

"No," I replied. "I'll do you one better. We have your daughter in the next room."

That did it. I watched his eyes go wide. Probably the first time I'd ever seen him that genuinely surprised.

"You...I do not _have_ a daughter!"

"Oh, you most certainly do, Laraza," Ethan cut in then. "We've cross-checked the databases and took a DNA sample from our prisoner. A simple cheek swab did it. Sofía Valentina Rios - born Laraza - is definitely your child."

"And, we also know from records that she's your only one," I continued. "Her grandmother raised her alone when her mother died, and you left to start your criminal empire." I gave him a hard look. "You came from poverty, Mr. Laraza. You wanted better for your daughter, but you didn't want her implicated or put her in unnecessary danger once you got into some...unsavory company. So you set up a fund, routed through many aliases and fake institutions, and left her in the care of your mother."

"And why would I - "

"Because the UNSC took your brother when you were eight," Ethan responded.

"I was wrong about your age when we first met, Laraza," I said. "You carry your years well. You look a lot younger than you actually are."

Laraza's whole demeanor changed. Although he tried to hide it at first, he was stunned into silence, and soon started to sweat. Then came the fear-fueled anger. I knew it well.

"If you have...touched a _hair_ on her head, I will - "

"Relax," my ex assured him. "She's been treated well from the moment she got here. However...that could always change. And that all depends on you."

The rebel leader's eyes darted to me. "No. You would not allow it."

I made a bored face and shrugged. "I don't know, Laraza. You've taken a lot from me recently. I'm not so invested in keeping what you hold dear safe." To drive the point home, I raised my empty left hand then. "See this? I'm getting divorced when we get back to garrison. I have you to thank for that, at least in part. So...not seeing why I should do you a favor here."

"She is a _girl_."

"She's a prisoner, Laraza, and a known rebel. There's nothing I'm bound to in this situation."

That wasn't necessarily true, of course, but he didn't need to know that.

He was quiet for a long time, and I could almost hear the gears grinding in his head. He was caught between surprise, anger, and fear, and they all flashed across his face at one point.

"Fine," he said eventually. "Ask what you need." His eyes met mine. "But you must promise me that my Sofía - "

"You have my word," I said with a nod.

I exchanged a quick glance with Ethan as Laraza glanced down at his shoes and blew out a breath. He was still dressed in his suit, though his jacket and tie had been removed. We knew we had him now.

"We'll get to some other questions later, Laraza, but for now, we have a more pressing issue to deal with," Ethan said.

The rebel general finally glanced up and faced him. "And that would be?"

"The Prometheans," I answered. "What can you tell us about their presence here? How are they...even a threat on Puget?"

Laraza shook his head. "They are not a threat to the planet as a whole. Not yet, anyway. But they are most certainly a threat to Cordonnes."

"How did this happen?" Ethan asked again.

I saw him hesitate, and Ethan stepped in closer, lowering his voice.

"You don't want to test me, Laraza. Guards!"

The two we'd sent out before suddenly reappeared at the door. "Sir?"

"Bring me our other prisoner. Now."

" _No!_ " Laraza cried, his eyes going wide. "No. I will answer. Give me a moment."

My ex looked at the MPs and waved them away again. He waited until the three of us were alone to stare Laraza down.

"I'm waiting."

"Very well." He released a long sigh. "The Prometheans are here from our moon, Juniper. We discovered a portal there - our scientists say from Requiem. Rather than destroy it, I decided to keep it active, and attempt to attract the Prometheans' attention."

At that I furrowed my brow at him. "Why would you do that? Didn't you learn _anything_ from what happened to us on Khan?"

"Yes," he said, and looked directly at me. "I learned that the Prometheans were an excellent unsuspecting enemy for _our_ enemies. If there was a way to harness their power, their armies, and shift them to those we wanted gone..."

"What are you talking about?" Ethan questioned, seeming just as confused as me. "The UNSC wasn't even here yet. Who could you possibly have to - "

My ex stopped mid-sentence when Laraza burst out laughing.

"Ah, my boy. You know nothing. I'm speaking of the Elites, of course. They are the ones who destroyed most of our Outer Colonies - half of Khan included - during the War. Other than the likes of you and your colonel here, there is no faction I want ravaged and decimated more."

"So...you wanted to use the Prometheans on your moon against the Elites?" I frowned. "I've got to tell you, I am not following this one. There aren't even any Elites _here_ , let alone on that moon."

"No. But they are on the other side of that portal your Marines are currently clustered around."

It was my turn for my eyes to go wide. Beside me, Ethan made no change in his expression, but I couldn't help it. I hadn't been trained like him, and it was written all over my face. I could feel it.

"How do you know they're there?"

"I have my sources. And, it's a location _my_ army scouted first." He paused, then said, "The portal links to Sanghelios."


	48. Chapter 47: Uphill Battle

**Chapter Forty-Seven: Uphill Battle**

My frown deepened when he said that.

"Sanghelios," I repeated, even more bewildered than before. "You left a portal to _Sanghelios_ unmanned? Why?"

"We did not want any distractions for the Prometheans there. I did not want them attacking my own men; I wanted them to go through the portal and sneak up on the Elites, fight _them_. It worked, for a time. Now, too many have come, and they have been moving more freely back and forth, causing us as much trouble as our enemies."

Ethan snorted. "Come on. You had to know that was going to be the end result. Prometheans can't just be controlled the way you're thinking."

"Yeah," I added. "And you left no one there to keep tabs on the situation. What were you hoping to achieve by just...leaving?"

Laraza seemed a bit flustered now. "I realize that things did not go as planned. I cannot change that now."

"So what? You're hoping _we_ take care of this for you?" I asked with an edge in my tone.

He shook his head. "No. I do not want the Prometheans gone. Only contained." His eyes darkened. "The Elites...they must pay for what they've done to us. We will still bring this fight to their home planet, one day very soon. And we will watch it burn."

My ex gave him a look. "That's your plan, then? Attack Sanghelios with your rebel army through the backdoor? After softening them up first with the bots?" He almost chuckled in disbelief. "Do you have any idea how dangerous and _stupid_ that is? You want _another_ war on your hands?"

"Yes, if that is what it takes." The rebel leader stared back at him, defiant. "My people have been caught underfoot and treated like insignificant _nothings_ from everyone who has ever crossed our path! We will be subservient no longer! We will have our revenge _now_. We have the numbers and the strength to fight."

Ethan said nothing in response, and the silence hung in the air for a while longer before I finally stood.

"All right. I think that's enough for today." I glanced Laraza's way and sighed. "Thanks for the information. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make sure we get your monumental fuck up under control." I leaned in a little closer. "Yet again, Laraza."

"And my daughter?" he called out when we were nearly to the door, his tone completely different. He sounded subdued, defeated. "May I see her?"

"No. Not yet."

* * *

As soon as we exited the room, Ethan walked right past the guards without another word. I followed him until we were back outside in the freezing temperatures. Thankfully, we'd both replaced our gloves and helmets by then.

"That man is insane, Natalie," he said to me, clearly upset. "He doesn't know what he's doing, or what he's playing with."

"What do you mean?"

He scoffed. "It's obvious, right? He wants to start another fucking war. We can't have that."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Why do I get the feeling there's a bit more to this than that?"

My ex looked away briefly and let out a sigh. "The Elites are fighting a war of their own right now, Nat. With each other. There are still factions out there that want humanity eradicated, as you well know. If the rebels get involved in that, along with the Prometheans...things could get very complicated." He turned back to face me. "We have to tell the brass about this. See what they want to do."

"Okay. I can get a message out to them today." I put my hands on my hips then, suddenly feeling a little out of my depth. "That doesn't give me anything to work with right away, though. Brewer sent me a sitrep earlier, and it sounds like the situation by the portal is getting out of control, just like Laraza said. We can't afford to wait on this one."

"Of course," Ethan spat. He seemed to take that in for a moment, then looked at me again. "So what are you going to do?"

I threw my hands up in defeat. "I don't know what else I can do. I want that portal gone. It's costing all of us too much to have it open now, and I really don't give a shit what that bastard Laraza wants."

Ethan nodded. "All right. I'll back you up on that, when the time comes." He frowned. "But then the question is, what do we do about the moon?"

"We'll deal with that later," I said. "This is the more pressing concern right now."

My ex went quiet for a while after that, though neither of us moved yet. The cold was starting to seep in, the frigid air forcing its way past my uniforms' systems and making me shiver. I was just about to ask what the hell he was waiting for when he spoke again.

"Is it true? What you said during the interrogation? You and Willis really split up for good?"

All the pain that I'd kept carefully contained immediately resurfaced then, and the anger came with it. Not so much at Ethan, but more at myself and the whole situation.

"I am _not_ talking about this with you," I snapped. "Just...leave it alone."

* * *

Once again work was my saving grace, and now even more than before, there was plenty of it to go around. I left Ethan's company and made my way back to my quarters right away, to send off a letter of warning to Major General Bolowsky about what we'd learned. I told him plainly that while I could not wait for a message back with orders, I would do the best I could once I received a response to do as the brass wished. Things were moving too quickly now for that, and as soon as I hit _send_ , I got up again and left - this time picking up my rifle as well - and made sure I hailed Captain Norfolk on my way out.

"Captain, this is Colonel Cooper," I said into the COM in my helmet. "Is your battalion ready to go?"

"Affirmative, Colonel. We're on standby per your orders," he replied.

"Excellent. In that case, tell your men and women that it's go time. We leave for the Promethean site now."

"Yes, ma'am. We're loading up as we speak."

I cut the connection and blew out a breath. Willis would likely be among the pilots shuttling us over; I knew we'd need the extra help. I wasn't sure I was ready to face him again quite yet, although I knew I had to at some point. We had to make this work, at least for now and at least for the mission. Neither of us could do our jobs without communicating, unfortunately.

I supposed it was time to reap what I'd sown. Whatever that turned out to be.

* * *

The Promethean site was a good thirty klicks from our main base near Cordonnes. Far enough out of the way to not be easily noticed, and yet not nearly far enough to not pose a problem. I noticed immediately that neither Willis nor Heat was my pilot for this trip, which was out of the ordinary whenever they were available. I thought for sure my husband - soon to be ex-husband - was avoiding me.

And there it was.

The single word hit me like a ton of bricks.

Willis was going to be my _ex_ -husband.

I couldn't have ever imagined that, even six months ago. Now, it was a stark reality that I'd painfully faced for the last two days since our fight. I could hardly breathe for a moment as the full weight of that thought went through my mind.

Willis and I weren't together anymore. Our family would be split apart. Our youngest son was barely over a year and a half old. Gabriel, Liam, Olivia, and little Logan - all their lives would be upended by this, not just ours.

I was nowhere near recovered from that when he suddenly appeared before me, shortly after we'd touched down.

"Colonel," Willis said, and his voice was cold like before, all business. "Captain Norfolk's battalion has been safely unloaded. We'll be returning to Cordonnes now, unless you need us here."

It was happening again. For a moment I just stood there and swallowed, but couldn't speak.

"Ma'am?"

It was difficult to get past the lump in my throat, but I finally took in a much-needed breath. "That won't be necessary, Major," I answered, and the cool and calm of my voice was miles from what I felt. "Thanks for the lift."

He nodded curtly, then turned away as fast as he could to return to his bird. To get away from me, I supposed.

That was hard to take. But it sounded like we had our work cut out for us over by the portal, and I didn't want Cal and Brewer to be kept waiting any longer. So I steeled myself, gripped my rifle in my hands, and issued orders to Norfolk's Marines - formerly Harris's - to move out.

It was surprising what you could still do with a heavy heart.

* * *

The sounds of gunfire and the occasional explosion resounded as we approached the portal area on foot. Lieutenant Lloyd and his ONI team had originally been sent to investigate the place, with Major Brewer and her battalion being sent out to aid them later on. The site consisted mostly of a large abandoned building with several acres of wooded land behind it. There, near the property line, the land sloped upward a bit, and a modest-sized rock formation could be seen further on. I guessed that that was where the portal was - hidden inside the cave's entrance at the bottom.

"Head column's almost hitting the perimeter, ma'am," Captain Norfolk said over the COM then. "Orders?"

"Halt and standby, Darren," I replied. "I'm going to hail Major Brewer first."

"Roger that."

I opened a new channel to my XO, and was surprised to hear her answer right away - although her voice was nearly drowned out by all the ordnance and lead flying around.

"Colonel, good to have you here!" she shouted. "We've been holding the lines just fine for now, up until last night. Some more Prometheans came out of the portal close to morning, and since then, they've been attacking anything that moves. It's a much larger contingent than what we found when we first got here, ma'am. There was no choice to sit back and observe - we had to fight back."

"Got it. Tell your Marines to watch their six, Major - the 904th's coming in."

"Acknowledged!"

I quickly switched channels again to let Norfolk know it was safe to move forward, then returned to my link with my XO. "Where's Lloyd?"

"Last I heard he was further ahead near the portal, ma'am. That was two hours ago."

"We'll go find him, Dani. Sit tight."

By now my security detail and I were embedded with one of Norfolk's companies, closer to the rear. I wasn't expecting the earth-shattering quake that suddenly thrummed beneath my boots, and I lost my footing, almost landing face-first on the ground.

"Friendly air coming in hot!" I heard Captain Heat shout over the general channel. "All you ground-pounders better keep your heads down!"

 _Shit,_ I thought, realizing he was probably aiming for the portal - right where my friend and XO's husband was.

"Heat, this is Colonel Cooper! Call off the strike. I repeat, call it off, _now!_ "

It was too late, however. I watched helplessly as Heat and his squadron's birds came screaming in, dropping enormous payloads on the main mass of Promethean fighters. That was going to help our efforts here on the ground a lot...but not if they took our spook team with them.

"Heat, this is Cooper! No more strikes! You're getting way too close to the portal!"

I heard him chuckle over our shared connection then. "That's what we're aiming for, ma'am. Respectfully."

I couldn't tell in the moment if his tone had changed; he had to know about me and Willis by now. They were best friends and I had no illusions about whose side he'd take, despite the many years we'd all known each other. But that wasn't something to worry about right now - first, I needed to make sure he didn't blast our own with his antics.

"Captain?"

"Yes, ma'am. No more strikes, understood."

"Good. I've just arrived with an extra battalion, so we'll mark targets and perimeters for you flyboys upstairs."

"Roger that."

This time when I heard the group of Pelicans pass overhead, nothing dropped from above. But there was a damn big crater already, in the middle of the field of battle, close to the cave. For the third time this deployment, I had to see if Caleb was okay.

"York, let's move!" I said to my detail's leader.

He turned his head to face me. "Colonel - !"

But I was already running into the fray.


	49. Chapter 48: The Time is Now

**Chapter Forty-Eight: The Time is Now**

The chaos of battle was a welcome distraction from my myriad thoughts and feelings of the past forty-eight hours. Here, there was no time to think - just fire and run.

"Let's go, Marines! Move it up!" I yelled, sprinting fast through the snowy field, security detail hot on my heels, as I rushed toward the main lines.

Gunnery Sergeant Gage York was close behind, moving to catch up, with Núñez and his SAW with him. The gun came in handy when we got to where the fighting was thickest, and some of the Crawlers changed direction instantly from attacking Brewer's Marines to going for us.

"Light 'em up!" I called out, and brought my battle rifle up just as I heard the SAW begin to burn rounds on my flank.

In quick succession, Núñez mowed down a whole line of the speedy doggie bots, leaving nothing but sparking metal behind as the automatic weapon tore them to pieces. It wasn't before the AI-bots had taken a few shots of their own, however, and I watched as one of Brewer's men - a young PFC - took a light round to the chest that went right through his armor. He let out a scream as the beam cut through him, but he was dead before he even hit the ground, a smoking hole where he'd been hit.

It reminded me of my own recent scrape, and how lucky I'd been that my armor had been enough to stop it. I still had the bruise there, growing purple and yellow now on my sternum, but I'd been told everything looked otherwise okay when I'd taken a brief trip to the medtent yesterday, at Willis's prompting the night before. It was probably the only thing that had gone right for me as of late.

"Colonel, this is Captain Sakato," I heard over the COM, just as we'd resumed running. "I've got two of my tanks in play here, ma'am, and we're coming up on your flank now. You can use us as cover to get to the portal."

"Acknowledged!" I said, keying my radio as I ran. "Thanks for the help!"

"No problem! We'll be there in one mike."

It was good to hear that the armor commander's units were still operational here. Since we'd only come back to Cordonnes with one tank from the last big fight at the rebel weapons depot, and two more were here, that left two tanks back at our main camp as well. A decent ratio, in case we needed it - although the single surviving tank from the previous fight was still moderately damaged.

 _Come on, Cooper,_ I told myself then. _Focus._

I needed to remind myself to keep my attention on the here and now as much as possible, although it wasn't always that easy with everything I was responsible for. One surefire way to keep me in the present, though, was the sudden appearance of a group of Promethean Knights and Watchers in front of us - and they started off their attack with a rain of grenades.

"Watch the EMPs!"

The light grenades burst all around us, enveloping my entire team in a powerful electronic-frying blast that even with recent counter-training, took precious seconds to recover from. In that time I went down quickly on one knee, no longer wanting to bullrush my way through the crowd, and went after the Watchers first, so that the Knights would have no escape once Núñez unleashed his SAW again.

"Fire back!" I shouted.

My whole security team stopped and did the same, forming up around me and getting into more stable positions to fight. There wasn't a whole lot of cover here; it was open ground before we hit the trees. But there was the giant crater, a bowl of black against the white landscape, looming ahead. We just had to get past these guys to start.

Two Watchers on our left came down fast after only a few bursts from my rifle, but then the Knight charged us before I could switch targets. It had its purple blade out, and I knew what that meant - it had to be eliminated fast, or we'd get our insides skewered.

"SAW up, now!"

Beside me, Núñez had just lifted his gun when we heard a loud _kaboom!_ come from our left.

My helmet's systems had a hell of a time dampening the sound of a tank cannon firing this close, and for a moment I turned away and shut my eyes as a wave of heat rushed through the frigid air, enveloping us in welcome warmth. What felt like a small earthquake came with it. By the time I glanced up again, and the flurry of snow that had been tossed into the atmosphere dissipated, I could see nothing but scorched earth and metal parts in front of us. As usual, only broken weapons remained where the Knights had been.

"Yeah!" Núñez whooped. "Get some!"

I couldn't help but grin a little myself. Gripping my battle rifle close to my middle, I opened up a channel to our armor commander again and said, "Great timing, Kenji!"

"Just doing my part, ma'am! We'll clear the way for you."

At this point, getting to the portal didn't seem like such a daunting task, although maneuvering around the large crater would take time for the tanks. It provided good enough cover, though, and so we made our way through there on foot, with the tanks moving on our flanks on either side. I figured it was a good time to call in our demolitions unit, whom we'd need at the site.

"Lieutenant Zutter! I need your demo squad up!"

"Right away, ma'am!"

"I'm sending you our location now. Follow the marker."

Second Lieutenant Zutter was part of Major Brewer's battalion. His team was smaller than the one my younger brother Travis had led back on Khan three years ago, but was quick and efficient - and one of the best. The cave structure beyond the treeline didn't look that large - certainly not like the intricate, weaving underground passages found on the island of Qamar. This part of the operation should be pretty straightforward, so long as we were able to get there in one piece.

And so long as our spook team was still alive. As we were getting closer now, I tried hailing Lloyd, but there was no answer.

Cursing to myself, I rapidly shifted focus as we came upon a group of embattled Marines and Prometheans, fighting tooth and nail to gain control of the large patch of blackened earth in the area. The bowl the crater made was a great point of defense for our side, but also a liability for those caught in the low ground in the center. There, it was like a pit, the fighting dirty and brutal - and often lethal.

The mass of bodies inside was proof.

We had to almost crawl over them, rather than step over - there was no way forward otherwise. I guessed that not all of them had died here, but anyone getting killed near the edge of the crater had then fallen in. It was a grim task, made even grimmer by the fact that any misstep could end in our deaths, too.

Because the Prometheans were on us.

Crawlers were the easiest to mow down; there was absolutely nowhere for them to go, and the piles of dead and broken doggie bots were almost as plentiful as the Marines in here. There were a few scrap heaps made up of Watchers, too. But the Knights had a field day, teleporting from one end to another with ease, and all they had to do was wait on the other side of the human corpses for the next unit to cross, and take them out.

That wasn't going to happen to me.

My security detail and I all brought our guns up at once, bringing Watchers crashing down just feet away from our heads, then turning all our focus on the Knights as they blinked in and out of existence, weapons hot and blades exposed. At first they were difficult to track and hit with my mid-range gun this close, so I pulled out my pistol instead, shooting them point-blank in rapidly aimed shots, but the firepower wasn't enough.

As I fired at one, I lost my footing in the loose soot and snow, falling backwards into the pile of bodies behind us. Half-propped up by the fallen, I scrambled to regain my place before the Knight showed up, but it was too late. It suddenly appeared right in front of me, inches from my face, and I thought for sure that it'd sink its sword into me to the hilt. But it didn't. Instead, it slapped me hard right in the chest, where I'd been shot just days ago, and I let out a guttural scream as the pain traveled everywhere in my body at once like a lightning rod.

"Colonel!"

I registered the voice as York's, and while I tried desperately to recover enough to save myself, Núñez came bounding over the bodies with his SAW. He looked at me, then the Knight, and let out a savage yell as he fired a long, rattling burst.

In the meantime, I instinctively covered my face with my gloved hands, even though I had my helmet on and visor down in the cold. I heard more than felt the sparks fly, hot lead tearing into metal, and then in an instant, it was all over.

I still had my sidearm in my right hand when I brought my arms down again. I groaned as soon as I shifted at the motion. But at least I was still alive.

So were York and Núñez.

"Thanks...for the save," I croaked, finding it hard to do much more than lean back against the bodies for the moment. Beyond letting the intense pain dissipate, I needed to catch my breath now, too.

"Anytime, ma'am," Núñez said to me. "It's what we're here for, Colonel."

"Yeah, but...I sure don't make it easy."

"No, ma'am," York replied, extending his hand to me. "But it's also what your men admire you for."

It was the first time I'd heard him say that. Normally he seemed just as put out with my antics as Willis. Maybe even more so. Even in the midst of combat, and after yet another hairy and painful close call, I couldn't help the slight smile spreading across my face.

"Thank you, Gage," I said as I took his hand, wincing as I did so. "I knew you'd...come around."

* * *

Pushing and fighting our way out of the crater took the most out of me, especially after what I'd just endured, but we finally made it to the top and in one piece, not too long later. By then I was already exhausted, pain shooting from my chest and up to my head and down my torso, but I did my best to ignore it. If nothing else, it made the pain of my newly broken marriage dull, at least for the moment. That was something I could certainly get behind.

It left me breathless at the crater's edge, though, and I bent over for a second to recover.

"Ma'am?" York asked, turning to face me. "Everything okay?"

I made the symbol with a gloved hand. "A-okay, Gunny. Let's move."

He nodded, and we crouched beneath incoming fire from the forces ahead as we ran for the cover of the tanks. They were just making their way fully around the hole now. I was a bit wary of sticking too close to them - after all, that had had the opposite effect back on the Tsavo Highway, all those years ago at the end of the Human-Covenant War. It'd caused the death of my best friend, First Lieutenant Dean Lewis. But here, we didn't have much choice until we reached the trees. So I took it.

We met up with Lieutenant Zutter and his demo team, too.

"You ready to rig this thing?" I asked him over the COM. Meanwhile, I watched him take cover behind the second MBT several yards away.

"Yes, ma'am! Just tell us when and where!"

"We're coming up on the treeline now, Lieutenant. Portal's just past that!"

"Roger that, Colonel!"

As bullets and light rounds danced around us, I opened a general channel to the surrounding Marines then.

"Any officers in the area, throw your red smoke grenades now!" I called out. "We're at the edge of the perimeter! Let our flyboys upstairs know their bounds!"

Acknowledgement lights winked green on my HUD, and shortly after that, plumes of thick red smoke were wafting up into the air around us. I hailed Captain Heat.

"Got the message, ma'am," he said over our shared channel. "Won't be dropping anymore payloads inside the lines."

"Good, Captain. We're counting on it."

We crossed over into the trees then, and the tanks turned back as well.

"Give 'em hell, Sakato," I said, and I heard the armor captain chuckle on the other end.

"Will do, ma'am. Good luck."

Now came the hard part. We had to find Lieutenant Lloyd and his team.

* * *

The woods were thick and I'd expected more fighting here, as we were nearing the portal site now, but there wasn't. It seemed the Prometheans had congregated around the others after emerging from the cave, because once we were past the initial line of trees, it was eerily silent out here.

"Lloyd, please respond," I said into my COM, still trying to hail my friend. "It's Cooper. Your wife's getting a little worried about you again...so I suggest you answer quickly."

That's when surprisingly, I heard a click back. Followed by his voice.

"Colonel Cooper!" he replied. "My team and I are by the cave. Couldn't get a good connection out here. We've just found - "

A sudden _whoosh_ of Pelicans sounded overhead, and I knew what that meant.

"Jesus, Cal. We thought you'd been caught up in the friendly air drop." I glanced up at the sky out of reflex, although I couldn't see a whole lot of it beyond the tips of the trees. "Let's go. We should clear the area before the strike and then come back, just in case."

"But there's - "

" _Now_ , Lieutenant."

"Yes, ma'am."

We rushed to take cover where the hill sloped up, away from the portal cave as well, just in case. We didn't want to be dodging Prometheans and our own overhead rounds at the same time. As we got into position among the thick trees, I heard the first few salvos going off and pounding the dirt.

Then a static-filled voice flooded my helmet.

"Colonel Cooper, this is Major Mullen back at the CP!" the 904th's battalion commander cried. "Our camp is under attack! I repeat, we're under - "

The line was lost completely to the white noise.

 _Fuck,_ I thought. I grit my teeth and tried again.

"Major? Major! This is Cooper, please respond."

" - got bombs dropping all over the place! Air support is...the way, but we need more...forcements!"

 _Jesus Christ._

I'd known this would happen the moment our mission to the capital city had become a very public affair. We may have had Laraza now, but there were hundreds and thousands of others throughout this planet who still wanted us gone - who hated the very idea of what we were and what we represented. It shouldn't have surprised me, especially given my own history with main camps left unattended, that this was happening, and it didn't. I just hoped the defenses I'd left behind expressly for this purpose would be enough to see the Marines there through, until we could arrive with more help.

And that would be tricky, given that we were in a pretty tough situation ourselves.

"Colonel, did you hear that?" Major Brewer said over the COM, in a private connection.

"I did, Dani," I answered somberly.

"What are we going to do?"

I took in a deep breath, hoping it would center me a bit, but the ordnance continuing to drop from above by our air support wasn't very conducive to thinking. Still, I'd had enough years in the field to know how to push past it.

The choice was impossible: let the portal go, and risk a whole city and planet being overrun by the carelessness of the rebels? Or let our main base in Cordonnes be destroyed, causing a severe shortage of troops as we essentially allowed our forces there to be decimated?

It almost felt like we'd lose in either case. Maybe we would. But the thought at the forefront of my mind right now was our men and women back in Cordonnes, and of Major Mullen, in charge of defending it alone. If we let our people die to take care of the portal, we'd have little left here on Puget to work with, even if the Promethean threat was gone. But if I saved my Marines, we'd have a huge battle on our hands later on...yet they'd live to fight another day.

The last deciding factor hit me harder than it should.

Willis was in Cordonnes, too.

"Order a retreat, Major," I said to my XO then. "Now."


	50. Chapter 49: Runs in the Family

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Runs in the Family**

"Saddle up, everyone," I said over the general channel. "We're pulling out. Captain Norfolk?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Your battalion stays put until Brewer's Marines are out, understood? They've been fighting here for days and you've got the fresh troops, and you're already further back. Make sure they make it."

"On it, Colonel."

I cut the connection then and turned back to my own team. It was only when Lieutenant Lloyd looked at me in disbelief that I realized I'd forgotten to tell Brewer we'd found him.

"Ma'am?" he asked, staring at me wide-eyed. "What about the Prometheans? The portal?"

"We'll have to leave it for now, Cal. I'm not losing our entire regimental camp to this. We can regroup later and finish up here."

"But Colonel...all due respect, but it'll be infinitely harder to - "

"I know that, Lieutenant. My order stands. Now let's move."

I wasn't even entirely sure if this would work. Disengaging wouldn't be immediate - it'd take some time. Even then, we'd need transport back to Cordonnes, and that meant momentarily grounding our Pelicans to load everyone up. Anything could happen back at our camp in the meantime. I just had to hope the firepower I'd left behind would be enough to at least get them through the next few hours without us.

The good news was that our aerial bombardment was finally over, which meant our route back into the main fray was considerably opened up. We were virtually unopposed until we reached the treeline once more - and there, as the thick red smoke released before was now only wisps of color in the wind, we saw the wreckage left in our Pelicans' wake. Their presence made a hell of a difference...and I hoped Willis and his remaining flyboys were doing the same back in Cordonnes.

My heart hurt just thinking about it. About him. It was a good lesson in the fact that you never knew what moment would be your last, especially in our line of work. I wish I would've been less professional the last time I saw him, and instead reiterated the fact that despite everything, I still loved him. Even though we'd no longer be married after this, I wanted the father of my children to keep safe.

But it was too late for that now.

"Go! _Go!_ "

I hardly recognized the voice as my own as I rushed back into the fight - the opposite way, this time - and squeezed the trigger at the first Prometheans I saw. Just ahead, the Scorpion tanks that had escorted us to the portal were still firing into the horde over our heads; it'd be good to leave them up front as Brewer's men retreated.

"Sakato, I want your MBTs to cover our exit!" I yelled, bringing down two Watchers in quick succession, then switching my sights to the unprotected Knight they left behind. "Coordinate with Captain Norfolk - Brewer's men are heading out first!"

"Understood, ma'am! We've got your six!"

At that I switched channels again to my XO, my security detail chasing after me with Lloyd's team on one side, and Lieutenant Zutter's on the other. It was unfortunate for the demo team that they'd been left with me, because now we weren't even going to be able to attempt to rig the portal before we departed. It was already well in the distance.

"Major Brewer, make sure your Marines start pulling back, one company at a time. I've got our armor and Norfolk's men covering your retreat."

I kept firing as I ran in the meantime, tagging several doggy bots before Núñez could chime in with his SAW. I didn't think anything of my second-in-command not answering until I hailed her a second time, just as we came up on our Scorpions' flanks.

"Brewer? Acknowledge."

A crackle came over the COM, and another voice responded - male.

"Ma'am, this is Captain Douglas, Brewer's XO," he said. "The major's been hit, Colonel. I'm in charge of the 213th now."

He announced it over the general channel, and as soon as I had a second, I turned back involuntarily to look at Lloyd. He'd suddenly stopped at the news like he'd been hit, too.

"What's the situation, Douglas?"

"Not sure yet, Colonel, but I know it's bad. She's not conscious. Medics are tending to her now, from what I heard."

"Fuck," I said quietly into the channel. Then, more forcefully, " _Fuck!_ "

This was the last thing I needed right now. A retreat, headed only by three captains and myself, a captain leading the squadrons upstairs, and my men at my main camp all under attack by a much larger force.

To say this deployment had tested my limits was almost laughable in its understatement. I couldn't wait for it to be all over.

"Ma'am?" Douglas prompted.

"My orders stand, Captain. Just make sure Brewer is safely evaced."

"Of course."

"Cooper out."

When the connection cut I was instantly filled with worry for my friend - and her husband, too. But until we were out of the thick of things, there was nothing I could do for either of them. Our best bet was to just do our damnedest to get out of this mess with as few casualties as possible.

It'd be harder to do now without an XO, though.

* * *

This time, I had us maneuver around the giant crater in the center of the field - it took longer, but I wasn't getting bogged down in the fighting there again. We dodged laser-focused Watchers, teleporting Knights, and zigzagging Crawlers, taking down a considerable amount, before finally emerging on the other side.

It was there, in the chaotic mess that was the battle, that I spotted four Marines clustered around one in the middle.

Brewer.

"Dani!" I heard Cal yell out, and then before I could say otherwise, he was sprinting for the small group. I cursed under my breath and followed him.

I knew I'd have to be fast - I couldn't be caught with my downed XO for long, because if I were also hit, we'd _really_ be up shit creek. But I wanted to at least make sure she was okay before I continued on.

When we arrived and the Marines made way for us, I called out, "Get back to the lines! Just let the medic through!"

They quickly dispersed, only to be replaced by me, Caleb, and Gunny York.

My XO was lying supine in the snow, half her torso armor blown off, with jagged pieces of metal and dark blood coming out of her right side. Everything around her was a mix of black and red. Needless to say, the situation didn't look so great.

"Talk to me, Reynolds," I said then. What with being captured and all, I hadn't had much of an opportunity to see him this deployment. But he was here now, right where he always was. "How's she doing?"

Corpsman Michael Reynolds didn't take his eyes off his patient. "Not good, ma'am. Took shrapnel to the side of her gut - from an exploding frag, no less. Got too close in the heat of things. Probably didn't see it until it was too late." He sighed. "She's knocked out right now, and I'm not going to try to revive her until we've got her stable." Then he glanced sadly over at Lloyd. "If we can, sir."

I looked at my friend, too, but he was stony-faced. And that worried me more from him than any show of emotion. I reached over to squeeze his shoulder.

"She'll be okay, Cal," I said softly, and he nodded. Then I stood and turned to my detail again.

"Lloyd, you're free to stay with your wife if you'd like. Everyone else, let's make sure we clear the way for them. It's not over yet."

 _Not by a longshot,_ I thought.

* * *

Overseeing the retreat with what we had left to work with, in terms of command, was hard. But we made due, and slowly, as time passed, I could see my Marines creating a considerable gap between the forward-most Prometheans and our rear guard. Finally, it was time to order the Pelicans down and Captain Norfolk's men to pull out as well. We got to a point two klicks out for the birds to land, then loaded everyone up and left.

Sitting in the troop bay then, surrounded by my detail and Lieutenant Zutter's demo squad, I asked Captain Heat to link me for a moment into his helmet feed as he flew.

I saw exactly what it was we were leaving behind: an enormous army of AI-bots, littering the field and slowly expanding outward now that they'd been left unchecked. I worried about the implications of that, and the repercussions, but that would have to be something we sorted out another day.

For now, our focus was on our main camp in Cordonnes.

"I'm good, Heat," I said, severing the link to his helmet cam inside my helmet. "I don't need to see more."

"Okay," he answered. Then I heard him sigh. "I thought you'd want to know I just tried to hail Willis over the COM. He didn't answer."

 _Well, guess I'll just file that under the long list of things that aren't going my way today,_ I thought. Aloud, though, I said evenly, "Thanks for letting me know."

"Can I ask you what happened? He told me you guys are...I mean, I can hardly believe..."

"Not now," was all I said in reply before pulling my helmet off. I needed this time to recenter myself before we entered yet another giant clusterfuck below.

* * *

I'd known our LZ would be hot based on the reports, but I guess I didn't realize just _how_ hot.

I certainly knew now, since our Pelican was doing all but a barrel-roll to keep out of the way of incoming salvos from enemy Pelicans and Banshees.

"Hold tight, everyone!" Heat shouted over the troop bay's intercom. "The air's full of 'em! Brace for maneuvers!"

As if we had anywhere else to go. It was a large reason why I hated being in ships, and I could feel myself starting to sweat with nerves now. I was strapped into a harness in the Pelican, just like everyone else, but somehow that didn't feel nearly safe enough when we could be easily blown up in an instant - before we even knew what was happening. There'd be no opportunity to fight back, no way to weasel yourself out of it. You'd just be gone.

It took me a while to realize that that thinking wasn't doing me any good. Instead, I just held onto the straps on my shoulders tighter, closed my eyes and tried to imagine something else to distract me.

And before I knew it, we'd safely touched down.

"Thank you for flying Air Brandon," Heat said over the COM then. "Sorry for the turbulence, and see you next time!"

I breathed a long sigh of relief as we all unhooked our harnesses and got out. Then I pulled my helmet back on and said, "Brandon? Anything from Willis yet?"

"No, ma'am," he said somberly. "I'll let you know when I do, though."

"All right. Better get back to it. I'm sure the other flyboys up there could use your help."

"Yes, ma'am. On it."

I was hopeful that the return of the other squadrons would change the tide of the fighting upstairs, at least. But for now, us ground troops faced similarly poor odds down here in the dirt. Or snow, as it were. I hailed Major Mullen first, before we even set out for the main camp.

"Mullen? It's Colonel Cooper. We've just arrived at the LZ from the portal site. Give me a sitrep."

I checked my watch then, too. It'd been just over three hours since his hail. A lot could have changed in that time.

"Not doing so great, ma'am!" came the reply, clearer now that we were closer together, and I could hear the sound of gunfire and explosions behind him. "Some areas of the camp were destroyed by their air support, and rebels have breached our perimeter on foot. There's a lot of 'em. Way more than I would have - "

He paused then, and I heard a massive detonation go through the COM. I was just about call out his name when his voice returned - fainter now, but still there.

"I'm all right! I was just saying...ah, fuck it. Colonel, we need that help now if we're going to maintain control here."

"Understood, Mullen. We're five klicks out right now. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Roger that."

"Cooper out."

We'd landed close to the camp, but far enough out that we weren't going to be attacked on foot right off the bat. The enemy aircraft overhead is what initially worried me, but now that Heat and his squadrons were covering our ass, I was hopeful we'd make it there okay.

It was once we arrived at camp that I knew things would get really tough.

I blew out an exhausted breath. It was time to see what shape my base had been left in.


	51. Chapter 50: Back Against the Wall

**Chapter Fifty: Back Against the Wall**

Ethan was the first to meet us as we reached the far perimeter of our camp. He was running towards my detail and I with his ONI team in tow, and he looked both beleaguered and pissed.

I was glad to see he was still in one piece, though.

"What's going on?" I said when he was in range.

He gave me a look through his now-translucent visor. "You mean besides the sky falling?" He huffed a sigh before going on. "We just checked in with the military police team back at the holding cells. Laraza's gone."

" _What?_ "

"Yeah. And the girl, too. Looks like the rebs broke them out after the battle started. I'm sorry, Nat."

"Christ almighty." I wondered when the barrage of bad news would end. It seemed I wasn't destined to get any breaks at all here today. "Where are the MPs now? Why weren't they stopped?"

He pointed towards the building where we'd kept the prisoners, and though nothing looked different from here, I was starting to get a sinking feeling.

"Come on," he said in a subdued voice. "I'll show you."

We trudged quickly through the snow, ducking whenever enemy aircraft would come screaming in. Just before we reached our destination, however, a group of two Pelicans and a Banshee swooped low, firing their chain guns, plasma cannons, and rockets - clearly gunning for us.

"Everyone hit the dirt!" I yelled.

My helmet and armor and rifle and boots were covered in snow in an instant as I sunk into the fluffy white face-first. I covered my head out of instinct with my gloved hands, listening to the heavy barrage and feeling the earth tremble beneath me. It felt like the end of the world; it always did.

Until one of ours showed up.

"Heads down, Marines! We got this!" I heard over the general channel, and my heart swelled. It was Willis.

He was coming to save us.

I risked poking my head up from the snow, just in time to see one of the Banshees get hit by a merciless wall of ordnance and lead. It went from pristine to smoking to a giant cloud of orange flame and purple metal scraps in the span of a few seconds.

I couldn't help the grin that spread wide across my face. "Nice work, Talon! Keep 'em off us!"

"Glad to help, Colonel," he answered tonelessly. "Now watch it - still got two bogies to go. Snoopy?"

"Yes, sir?" his wingmate, Captain Heat, responded.

"Let's get after 'em."

"Thought you'd never ask!"

It was nice to hear the pair reunited. What followed was an intricate and deadly air show above us, but there wasn't time to stop and marvel at their finesse. Now that the rebel aircraft were off our backs, it was time to move again.

"Marines, up, now! Let's go!"

I forged forward first, my security detail beside me, and Ethan followed behind with his group. Finally we reached the building, and still nothing looked out of place.

It wasn't until we rounded to the other side of the wall, to the entrance, that my breath caught in my throat.

The façade was entirely black, save for the patches of bloody red from the bodies. The whole side of the building on this side had been blasted out; it was nothing but crumbling debris now. And the MPs were all dead.

"I told you it was bad," my ex said softly, coming up on my right. "They were the first to get hit when the assault started. They're on the outskirts of the perimeter, and we were so busy dealing with the giant mob heading for us that we..." He shook his head. "We should've been faster."

I felt a wave of emotion go through me at the sight, and the implications began to make their way through my mind. Laraza had been freed - as had his daughter, our inside intelligence source and our one main leverage against him. Not only was the man who'd done terrible things to Cal and I - and many others - _gone_ , but we'd also allowed him to get loose to make good on his outrageous plans with the portal and the Elites. It was a catastrophic failure on my part, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to fix this. He'd been hard enough to track down and capture the first time; now, he'd be a ghost.

"Shit," I said, and put my hands on either side of my head. " _Shit,_ Ethan."

He stepped closer to try to comfort me, but I moved out of the way. So he lowered his arm.

"Natalie, we'll get him back. We'll find a way."

I shook my head vigorously. "No, we won't. He's out there _again_ , Ethan. We're under attack, the portal's unsecured, he's loose, and he's going to try to get to Sanghelios." I could feel myself falling into despair, right then and there. "We've stopped nothing. Everything is - "

"Hey, hey," my ex said, stepping forward again and grabbing hold of my wrists this time, gently. He brought them down to my sides and looked me in the eyes, waiting until I focused on him to continue, not letting go. "You can do this, Cooper. _We_ can still do this. Nothing is lost. Have we faced a fuckton of setbacks? Yes. It's discouraging, I get it. But our camp _can_ be saved, and retaken, and the portal site can still be brought under our control. We just need to regroup, get our house in order, and make sure Laraza has _no_ opportunity to use that link to the Elite homeworld. Okay?"

When I didn't answer, he spoke again.

"All this might sound impossible under someone else's command, but I believe in you. More importantly, so do your men. If anyone can right this ship, it's you, Nat."

He finally let go and I was left standing there, trying to muster up the courage to go on. I'd never felt this helpless and defeated in my whole life. My XO was out of commission, fighting for her life; the bulk of my forces had had to retreat; my base was under seige; the man who'd ordered my capture and torture was back on the streets; and my thirteen-year marriage to the man I loved was over, for good. Everything was crashing down before my very eyes, and it was tough to take all at once.

But Ethan was right. I had to at least try. It was my duty, and my purpose as an officer to do so.

And it wasn't over till it was over.

"All right, Marines," I said then over the general channel, with more confidence than I felt. "Let's take back our turf."

* * *

The added support from the newly rejoined air wing offered us considerable firepower, and that alone started to change the tide. In short order most of the rebels' air support had been shot down and left in smoking ruin in the snow, with the remainder making runs less and less often now. That, in turn, made the rebel ground forces nervous, and more cautious. While the assault continued, we had a chance here to finally take the upper hand.

By now we were well within the camp's bounds, and I started to get a sense of how dire the situation had been. Parts of the barracks had been demolished by the earlier air runs, and the mess hall was only barely still standing. As we rushed past to get to one of the larger pockets of resistance, just up ahead, I saw overturned desks, charred bunks, burned clothes...and several bodies, too, of those who'd been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some of the corpses were in full uniform, armor and all, and others were in nothing but what they'd gone to sleep in. It was a worrisome and awful loss of life, but we had the opportunity now to truly fight back, and make sure their sacrifices were worthwhile.

Around me, I did my best to rally the Marines who'd been engaged in combat since the beginning.

"Push forward, Marines!" I yelled as my detail opened up on the rebels in front of us. "Push up and push them back!"

I skittered to a stop myself and quickly ducked behind a half-torn-down wall as rebel forces fired back. In the moment I reloaded my battle rifle, replacing the mag with a satisfying _clack_ , and got it ready to go again. Aiming down the sights, I pulled the trigger on the first reb I saw, hitting him in the throat. There was a spray of blood and his hand shot up to his neck, though there was nothing he could do now. I pulled the trigger again and he went down, motionless.

Unfortunately, there were plenty more where he came from.

"Frag out!" I heard Ethan yell on my flank, and I turned for just a second to watch as he threw the explosive far in an arch, landing in a group of at least five rebels hiding in the debris ahead. They shouted frantically, and one tried to pick it up. He was promptly blown into a thousand pieces, all over his friends.

Instead of using the chaos to tag my next reb, I turned away a moment and shuddered. _That could've been me,_ I thought, and I remembered that I hadn't ever mentioned that incident to Willis. I didn't know why. Maybe I didn't want him to think I'd gone looking for death, or that I wanted it, or maybe it was just as simple as the main reason we were no longer together - I didn't think he'd understand my reasoning behind it. I was sure he'd take my willingness to die for my men as a slight against him, or our family, or my own life, when really, it was about none of those things. It was about _them_.

I glanced to my left and saw Gunnery Sergeant York, and Núñez with his damn fantastic SAW, and everyone else on my team, here to protect me. How could you not give your life for your brothers, when they would give it for you?

With that, I stepped forward once more, more determined than ever to make this right. To take back our base, to defeat the rebs here, and then head back out to the portal again - to make sure another war, that would send more men and women away from their families, wouldn't have a chance to happen.

It was more my gun than me that found the next reb; he was running down the snowy row between buildings, automatic weapon up, but I stopped him. I tagged him right in the chest in three bursts, bringing him sliding into the wet earth before his buddy appeared beside him, and met the same fate.

 _Just one reb at a time,_ I thought to myself then, feeling like the mass of enemy bodies being thrown at us would never stop. _Just one at a time, and we'll take our home back._

* * *

After pushing the rebels back from the enlisted barracks, we made our way forward to the officers' quarters now, and during a momentary lull in the fighting, I jogged over to mine with my security detail in tow, still in sight of Ethan's team as well in case things got hairy unexpectedly. I entered our building fast, and found that while my quarters remained thankfully untouched, Brewer's and Mullen's had been destroyed.

 _Shit,_ I thought. It was a good thing no one had been here when the place was attacked. It looked like some overhead ordnance had done the honors here, and I quickly ran back to rejoin the larger group.

I finally had a moment then to key my COM. "All units, this is Colonel Cooper. I need a sitrep, now. Sound off."

"Ma'am, this is Major Mullen. We're at the head of the perimeter and we've still got stragglers, but it looks like the extra two battalions and overhead support have scared them off for now. We're beating them back, and those that are left are trying to retreat."

"Don't let 'em," I said. "Keep pushing forward. We want them gone, and we don't want them coming back. This isn't over yet."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Colonel, Captain Norfolk. Left flank is secure. We've got an MBT here with us making sure none of these bastards gain more ground."

"Excellent. Douglas?"

"We've got a little more work to do on the right, ma'am, but we're holding our own."

"All right. Sakato, let's get some of our Scorpions in to help the 213th."

"Moving now, ma'am!"

That just left Willis. "Talon? What's our situation upstairs?"

"Skies are clearing up, Colonel. Shouldn't have anymore trouble on the ground from these guys, but some did get away. Do you want us to go after them?"

I shook my head to myself, realizing belatedly that he couldn't see it. "No. We could use you guys to clear out the rest of the field down here now that you're not wholly focused on the air. Standby. We'll be marking targets for you."

"Understood."

I cut the connection then, feeling a little better now that things were stabilizing. With all the forces I'd dedicated to stopping this all-out assault on our base, it was nice to hear it was working...and that we wouldn't meet the same fate as previous outposts I'd been assigned to in the past. My commanders' failures back then had made me more prepared myself for this contingency now that I was the one in charge. And for that, despite the hard way I'd had to learn it, I was grateful.

"All right, Marines!" I said to my detail then, including Ethan and his team in the mix as well, though they weren't jarheads. "It sounds like we're slowly securing the lines and beating them back. Let's tag any remaining rebs left in camp and push up."

* * *

Hours later, some pockets of rebels remained here and there, but none were inside our lines anymore. I spotted a few still refusing to retreat within rifle range, and I took shots at a several of them while directing my snipers to handle the rest.

And that was that.

As I waited for the reports to come in, I finally pulled out another spent magazine from my rifle, searched my pockets for more, and found none. I was completely out, so I just dumped the used mag in the snow and slung my rifle behind my shoulder, pulling out my pistol instead.

"I think that's the last of them, Colonel," Ethan said beside me. He reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "You did good."

I shook him off and stepped out of his grasp. "Ethan, I don't want to have this rapport with you. Just...give me my space."

"Okay."

If he was hurt by what I'd said, he didn't show it. His spook training, no doubt.

"I'm sorry, you know," he said softly then. "About you and Willis. I know that has to be - "

" _Crushing?_ Heart-wrenching?" I shook my head at him. "It's the last thing I could have ever imagined, but I'm well aware that I put myself in this position, and now I have to deal with it. So please, don't...don't act like you understand what you don't."

"Fair enough." He met my gaze in the waning light. "I guess I'll go make myself scarce then, Colonel. I'm sure there's other areas that could use our help now, maybe to clean up."

"Please do," I replied, and I was left standing there alone as he left, too.

* * *

Finally the assault was over, and our camp remained intact. But the damage was still visible as well - not everywhere, but several important buildings had been hit, and they now needed a quick repair to get things functional again, at least for tonight. In the morning, in the light, I figured we'd begin doing the real work of fixing what had been bombed, shot, and abused during the siege. But for now, barracks or no barracks, I just wanted to eat and then go to sleep.

Unfortunately, the time for that would come later for me than everyone else.

"Major Mullen," I said into the COM.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Your battalion's relieved, Major. Let your guys and gals get some rest."

"On it, Colonel. Thank you."

"Sakato, keep two tanks roving on patrol around our perimeter. Rotate in as necessary so everyone gets a break and stays fresh."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Norfolk?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Your batt's got first watch."

"Understood."

"Douglas, I want your battalion to back them up - half on standby, half can rest."

"Yes, ma'am. We'll be ready."

"All right. Cooper out."

As I spoke I made my way over to the medtent, to check in on my XO and to see how Cal was doing with everything. It was a somber walk through the camp, with reminders here and there of the large force we'd just repelled. Bodies still littered many areas, both Marines and rebs, and blackened spots in the snow and the sides of buildings remained. There were torn down tents as well. I couldn't wait to send in my former battalion, the 8th Engineers, to start putting things back into place tomorrow. Not even the mess hall was functional right now, so tonight we'd be sleeping under the stars in the cold, eating MREs.

Just like old times.

"Natalie?" I heard then, and I was startled at first by the voice.

I raised my pistol up, searching in the dark with my team still surrounding me, only to realize the sound had come from inside my helmet. I lowered my gun, a little embarrassed, and answered, "Yes?"

"Where do you want us now?"

It was Willis, and while during the fight I hadn't had much time to think about things, I did now, and the heartache was suddenly front and center. I had to swallow down the hurt to respond.

"I don't want to leave our skies fully open to another attack," I said. "They might be counting on us letting our guard down now that things've quieted down. Keep a squadron in the air on rotation, and one on standby, just in case. The rest of your flyboys are free to come groundside and get some food and sleep."

"Okay," he replied on a sigh. "I'll stay up here for first watch, then."

"Whatever you need to do. Cooper out."

I felt the tears fall down my cheeks inside my helmet then as we reached the medtent. As soon as I was inside, I pulled it off and quickly wiped them away with my sleeve.

I had to keep it together, at least for a few more hours.


	52. Chapter 51: Last Stop

**Chapter Fifty-One: Last Stop**

 **1447 Hours, February 2, 2561. Near the City of Cordonnes, Planet Puget. "The Report," Outer Colonies. Day One Hundred Six of the Dark Side of the World**

Two weeks after the attack on our camp, things were getting as back to normal as they could. Captain Norfolk and the 8th Engineers had done a lot to ensure that our main tents and locales were up and running again, most notably the mess hall, a total clean-up of debris throughout, and a partial reconstruction of the barracks hit by the rebel bombardment, with other efforts still underway. The lone building further back, where we'd previously housed our small MP unit and two prisoners, was left as it was for now.

There was no one left to occupy it.

That didn't mean things wouldn't change in the coming weeks or months, so I kept that hope alive. Initial reports from both Ethan and Lieutenant Lloyd, however, hadn't come up with any information on Laraza or his daughter's disappearance. It seemed they'd gone completely dark now, as expected.

It wasn't only bad news this time around, though, which was a welcome relief. The very next day after our attack, I'd set into motion a new plan for the Promethean portal site, hoping to thwart at least one of the rebel general's plans - and though I'd kept my garrison at full strength for a few days following the siege, just in case, I soon had my regiment split two ways to ensure we had both the manpower to maintain our current position, and enough to attempt a recapture of the AI-bots' turf.

Just yesterday, I'd gotten word that it had worked. Major Mullen's 904th battalion, and part of Brewer's 213th - along with Captain Sakato and two of his tanks, and several squadrons from Willis's command - had joined forces to make sure we gained ground. Now all that remained was rigging and detonating the portal, so that the link to Sanghelios was gone forever. I'd received confirmation that that would likely happen over the next couple of days, and that sounded more than satisfactory to me.

So although things had gone from bad to worse to even _more_ worse a few weeks ago, there were at least glimpses of a silver lining now. About that, Ethan had been right. The situation hadn't been unsalvageable after all - and for that, I was glad.

As for news on my XO's recovery, I went over to the medtent now to find that out.

"Hey," I said quietly, leaning into the doorway of her room. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, ma'am," Caleb replied, glancing up from his seated position by his wife's bed. "She's asleep right now, but you can always talk to me."

I nodded as I entered the room, but stuck closer to the door, by the foot of Brewer's bed. She looked a lot better than when I'd first seen her after we'd retaken our base, but there was still a ways to go until she was fully healed. Or well enough to resume her duties.

"How's she doing this morning?" I asked, and the spook let out a sigh as he held her hand.

"Still in a lot of pain when she's awake, but she's been talking more, taking in liquids, eating a bit. So, all in all, not so bad." He pulled his hand away from hers then and used it to run over his short, dark brown hair. "She really scared me back there. I thought for sure when I saw her lying in the snow she wouldn't make it. Then she was out for a couple days, and I thought she might not wake up - "

I snorted, folding my arms across my chest. "Been there myself before, with Willis."

"I remember, ma'am. He got lucky he survived, too. Just like Dani."

"Did Doc say anything about when to expect her return?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Colonel. We don't know that yet. But so long as she keeps improving, that's what matters."

"Amen to that. I hope she gets better quick. Let her know I stopped by."

He smiled a bit. "I will, ma'am. Thank you."

I gave my buddy a meaningful look before I left. "Don't forget to take care of yourself, too, Cal."

"Will do."

* * *

As things were now in motion and somewhat contained again, I figured I'd have one of Willis's pilots fly me to the portal site later in the day to get a look at our situation there firsthand. For now, though, I stopped by the mess for more coffee, and a quick bite to eat.

That's when I saw Willis seated inside.

We hadn't spoken much for the last couple weeks since the attack, other than the necessary orders. Now that things were truly done between us, I think we just needed as much space from each other as possible. But it was difficult to even begin to fathom moving on when you still had to work with this person every day, and the heartache never abated. I supposed it would take time for each of us to come to terms with that.

Once I got my food I went over to a separate table, on the far side, to eat, but was surprised when Willis came by shortly after I'd sat down.

"Can we talk?"

I'd just taken my first bite of food and swallowed it quickly, dropping my fork in my tray. "Willis, it's - "

"This isn't what you think, okay? I just think we should discuss our next steps here, and what we're going to do."

I mulled it over for a few seconds before I reluctantly stood. "Okay. Not here, though."

"Where?"

"Outside."

"All right."

I left my tray behind for now, planning on returning to it afterward. I was still hungry and my stomach growled at the denial of food, but I ignored it and walked outside with my husband. Soon to be ex.

Willis came to a halt just outside the entrance, in full view of the hall but out of earshot, and I stopped with him. I waited for him to speak first. He seemed to need a moment to collect himself, and then said, "Not here, either. This is too impersonal. It's not what we deserve."

I threw my hands up, growing a bit frustrated. "Fine."

"The armory?" he suggested. "Shouldn't be anyone there right now."

"Lead the way."

That turned out to be a good solution, given that going into each other's quarters felt too familiar now, and doing this in public wasn't an option, either. Here - other than the guards, whom I sent away for now - we could be alone on neutral ground.

And it was a lot warmer, too.

Willis pulled off his helmet and gloves first, and it was then that I noticed he was no longer wearing his wedding ring, either. I didn't know why, but that sight solidified things in my mind. Made this more real. I swallowed.

"I've been thinking," he said, as I set my own helmet down on a crate and shoved my gloves in my pants pocket. He paused for a moment before meeting my gaze. "I don't want a divorce yet. I don't want one period, but if you file now when we get back, I'll fight it."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up a hand to stop me.

"We'll file for separation instead," Willis continued. "I know you want...that you _need_ time to come to terms with what happened to you on your own. And who this new you is, and how we've treated each other, and what that means for us. And I know that - " He paused to compose himself. "I know that's not something we can do together, and that's not something I can help you with. And maybe there's already been too much hurt here, and it's just wishful thinking, and this all ends in divorce anyway. But I want - "

He stopped again, then suddenly stepped forward and took my hand, surprising me.

"I've had this on my mind since the night we broke up. What you said to me - that I wouldn't want to be with you anymore as you are, that I don't love the _real_ you." His hazel eyes met my green ones. "That's all bullshit. You don't get to tell me who I want to be with, Cooper. And you don't get to tell me who I do and don't love."

My eyes started to sting then, but he still wasn't done. He squeezed my hand now, keeping our eyes locked.

"I love _you_ , Natalie. Yes, even the new one. It's...different. It's been difficult. And I'm not forgetting what happened with Ethan, because that is still painful for me, and a part of me still hates you for that. But I know that you're still in there, buried under everything, and I know that fundamentally, you're still _you_. I've seen it. I think you just need some time to find that again. And if it's without me, fine. But I don't want to make the very permanent choice to split up right now, and tear our family apart, before we've really had a chance to think things through and get to a better place with all this. So separating for a while, I think, is the best option."

I couldn't speak after that. It was hitting me harder than ever that things would change once we got back to Mars, whenever that might be. For us and for our family.

But at the same time, I understood that things needed to happen this way. In this place and time, Willis and I were no longer right for each other - and whether or not that would change in the future awaited to be seen. Uncertainty felt worse than decisive action, but in this case, I got where he was coming from. And slowly, I found myself nodding in agreement.

"Okay," I said, unconsciously wiping my eyes with my sleeve. "Then that's what we'll do." I glanced up at him again, and the tears I'd just brushed away resurfaced. "I love you, too, Will. You know that."

He nodded sadly as he struggled to keep it together himself. "I know I wasn't there for you before, and I'm sorry. I hope this...I want to do things differently now. So if this is what you need, then..."

Willis trailed off, but I understood.

"Thank you," I replied softly, and without even thinking about it, I leaned over quickly and pecked his cheek.

 _For letting me go_ was left unspoken.

* * *

I couldn't face the outside world just yet, and my appetite was mostly gone after the heavy conversation. So once I left the armory - and Willis - behind, I went back to the senior officers' barracks. The building wasn't as well insulated as before, given the damage incurred to two of our officers' rooms, but the 8th Engineers had patched it up as best they could for now, and it was still covered. I pulled my helmet and gloves off again, and walked into my quarters to decompress.

I shrugged out of my uniform jacket and sat down at my small desk to unlace my boots, pulling on a UNSC-MC fleece sweater over my T-shirt instead, and then just stared up at the ceiling for a while, trying to empty my brain of thoughts. I shut my eyes tight, and when I opened them again, I noticed something blinking out of the corner of my eye.

It was the COM console on my desk. The small dot in the corner was lit.

I sat up fast when I saw it was green. That meant an incoming call from my superior, Major General Bolowsky.

"Sir?" I answered.

It was audio-only for now, but soon, my blank screen was replaced by the general's face.

"Colonel Cooper," he said once we'd established a video link. "I hear things have been very eventful on your end the past few weeks."

"Yes, sir. If this post was meant as a test for my new rank, it's delivering."

"Of that I have no doubt. Give me the skinny."

I went into brief detail then on what was occurring planetside, both here in Cordonnes and at the portal site. I also told him about Laraza, and how he and his daughter had been freed during the attack. I knew most of what I was saying he already had in my written accounts, though, so when I finished, and he'd nodded, I raised an eyebrow at him.

"But I'm guessing this wasn't the purpose of the call, sir."

"No," he replied, and his tone changed slightly. "The real reason for my call is two-fold, Colonel. I'd like you to know that we'll be bringing in another regiment in the next few weeks to relieve yours. You're coming home."

My eyes went wide. "Wow, sir. I wasn't expecting that so soon. There's still so much more we're trying to do here, with the portals, and - "

"I'll remind you that's not the only reason, Cooper."

"Yes, sir." I waited for him to go on.

He squared his shoulders before letting out a deep sigh. The general focused on me directly, his expression grave.

"I've received some troubling reports as of late. Regarding yourself specifically."

"Sir?"

"I'm afraid there's no way to put this lightly. You're being investigated for adultery, Colonel, under Article 134 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. As such, you are hereby relieved of your command, pending the court's findings, with your XO, Major Brewer, taking over in your absence as soon as she is able. You're to return to Mars immediately upon the arrival of your replacements for your hearing...and potential court martial, after that."

I didn't utter a single word for a long time, didn't even open my mouth. I couldn't think of anything to say. I was in total shock.

General Bolowsky had left me truly speechless.

 **THE END**


	53. Closing Author's Note

**Closing Author's Note**

Holy moley! Well, with that, Book 7 is complete.

I never thought I'd get this far when I started writing Cooper and Willis fourteen years ago. I'm 28, so that's exactly half my life. Crazy. I've grown up with these characters in a lot of ways, going through high school and college and now adulthood with them. It's been a blast, and I hope it'll still be as exciting to me (and to you!) in the next iteration as well.

Anyway...story 8 will be coming your way very soon, should you wish to read on. (Oh my god my brain won't stop with these guys - send help.)

Thank you all so very much for your support \- that goes for old, new, or just-poking-your-head-in-once-in-a-while readers. Your messages, your reviews, your alerts and faves all make me super stoked, each and every time, and give me the drive to keep doing this.

Hope you enjoyed, and hope to see you on the next one! :)


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